There are moments when in connection with the sensitively imaginative or morbidly1 anachronistic--the mentalityassailed and the same not of any great strength and the problem confronting it of sufficient force andcomplexity--the reason not actually toppling from its throne, still totters2 or is warped3 or shaken--the mindbefuddled to the extent that for the time being, at least, unreason or disorder4 and mistaken or erroneous counselwould appear to hold against all else. In such instances the will and the courage confronted by some greatdifficulty which it can neither master nor endure, appears in some to recede5 in precipitate6 flight, leaving onlypanic and temporary unreason in its wake.
And in this instance, the mind of Clyde might well have been compared to a small and routed army in full flightbefore a major one, yet at various times in its precipitate departure, pausing for a moment to meditate7 on someway of escaping complete destruction and in the coincident panic of such a state, resorting to the weirdest8 andmost haphazard9 of schemes of escaping from an impending10 and yet wholly unescapable fate. The strained andbedeviled look in his eyes at moments--the manner in which, from moment to moment and hour to hour, he wentover and over his hitherto poorly balanced actions and thoughts but with no smallest door of escape anywhere.
And yet again at moments the solution suggested by the item in The Times-union again thrusting itself forward,psychogenetically, born of his own turbulent, eager and disappointed seeking. And hence persisting.
Indeed, it was now as though from the depths of some lower or higher world never before guessed or plumbed13 byhim . . . a region otherwhere than in life or death and peopled by creatures otherwise than himself . . . there hadnow suddenly appeared, as the genie14 at the accidental rubbing of Aladdin's lamp--as the efrit emerging as smokefrom the mystic jar in the net of the fisherman--the very substance of some leering and diabolic wish or wisdomconcealed in his own nature, and that now abhorrent15 and yet compelling, leering and yet intriguing16, friendly andyet cruel, offered him a choice between an evil which threatened to destroy him (and against his deepestopposition) and a second evil which, however it might disgust or sear or terrify, still provided for freedom andsuccess and love.
Indeed the center or mentating section of his brain at this time might well have been compared to a sealed andsilent hall in which alone and undisturbed, and that in spite of himself, he now sat thinking on the mystic or eviland terrifying desires or advice of some darker or primordial18 and unregenerate nature of his own, and without thepower to drive the same forth19 or himself to decamp, and yet also without the courage to act upon anything.
For now the genie of his darkest and weakest side was speaking. And it said: "And would you escape from thedemands of Roberta that but now and unto this hour have appeared unescapable to you? Behold20! I bring you away. It is the way of the lake--Pass Lake. This item that you have read--do you think it was placed in your handsfor nothing? Remember Big Bittern, the deep, blue-black water, the island to the south, the lone17 road to ThreeMile Bay? How suitable to your needs! A row-boat or a canoe upset in such a lake and Roberta would passforever from your life. She cannot swim! The lake--the lake--that you have seen--that I have shown you--is it not ideal for the purpose? So removed and so little frequented and yet comparatively near--but a hundred miles fromhere. And how easy for you and Roberta to go there--not directly but indirectly--on this purely21 imaginativemarriage-trip that you have already agreed to. And all that you need do now is to change your name--and hers-orlet her keep her own and you use yours. You have never permitted her to speak of you and this relationship,and she never has. You have written her but formal notes. And now if you should meet her somewhere as youhave already agreed to, and without any one seeing you, you might travel with her, as in the past to Fonda, to BigBittern--or some point near there.""But there is no hotel at Big Bittern," at once corrected Clyde. "A mere22 shack23 that entertains but few people andthat not very well.""All the better. The less people are likely to be there.""But we might be seen on the train going up together. I would be identified as having been with her.""Were you seen at Fonda, Gloversville, Little Falls? Have you not ridden in separate cars or seats before andcould you not do so now? Is it not presumably to be a secret marriage? Then why not a secret honeymoon24?""True enough--true enough.""And once you have arranged for that and arrive at Big Bittern or some lake like it--there are so many there--howeasy to row out on such a lake? No questions. No registry under your own name or hers. A boat rented for anhour or half-day or day. You saw the island far to the south on that lone lake. Is it not beautiful? It is well worthseeing. Why should you not go there on such a pleasure trip before marriage? Would she not be happy so to do-asweary and distressed25 as she is now--an outing--a rest before the ordeal26 of the new life? Is not that sensible-plausible27?
And neither of you will ever return presumably. You will both be drowned, will you not? Who is tosee? A guide or two--the man who rents you the boat--the innkeeper once, as you go. But how are they to knowwho you are? Or who she is? And you heard the depth of the water.""But I do not want to kill her. I do not want to kill her. I do not want to injure her in any way. If she will but letme go and she go her own way, I will be so glad and so happy never to see her more.""But she will not let you go or go her way unless you accompany her. And if you go yours, it will be withoutSondra and all that she represents, as well as all this pleasant life here--your standing28 with your uncle, hisfriends, their cars, the dances, visits to the lodges29 on the lakes. And what then? A small job! Small pay! Anothersuch period of wandering as followed that accident at Kansas City. Never another chance like this anywhere. Doyou prefer that?""But might there not be some accident here, destroying all my dreams--my future--as there was in Kansas City?""An accident, to be sure--but not the same. In this instance the plan is in your hands. You can arrange it all asyou will. And how easy! So many boats upsetting every summer--the occupants of them drowning, because inmost cases they cannot swim. And will it ever be known whether the man who was with Roberta Alden on BigBittern could swim? And of all deaths, drowning is the easiest--no noise--no outcry--perhaps the accidental blow of an oar--the side of a boat. And then silence! Freedom--a body that no one may ever find. Or if found andidentified, will it not be easy, if you but trouble to plan, to make it appear that you were elsewhere, visiting atone30 of the other lakes before you decided31 to go to Twelfth Lake. What is wrong with it? Where is the flaw?""But assuming that I should upset the boat and that she should not drown, then what? Should cling to it, cry out,be saved and relate afterward32 that. . . But no, I cannot do that--will not do it. I will not hit her. That would be tooterrible . . . too vile11.""But a little blow--any little blow under such circumstances would be sufficient to confuse and complete herundoing. Sad, yes, but she has an opportunity to go her own way, has she not? And she will not, nor let you goyours. Well, then, is this so terribly unfair? And do not forget that afterwards there is Sondra--the beautiful--ahome with her in Lycurgus--wealth, a high position such as elsewhere you may never obtain again--never--never.
Love and happiness--the equal of any one here--superior even to your cousin Gilbert."The voice ceased temporarily, trailing off into shadow,--silence, dreams.
And Clyde, contemplating33 all that had been said, was still unconvinced. Darker fears or better impulsessupplanted the counsel of the voice in the great hall. But presently thinking of Sondra and all that sherepresented, and then of Roberta, the dark personality would as suddenly and swiftly return and with amplifiedsuavity and subtlety34.
"Ah, still thinking on the matter. And you have not found a way out and you will not. I have truly pointed12 out toyou and in all helpfulness the only way--the only way--It is a long lake. And would it not be easy in rowingabout to eventually find some secluded36 spot--some invisible nook near that south shore where the water is deep?
And from there how easy to walk through the woods to Three Mile Bay and Upper Greys Lake? And from thereto the Cranstons'? There is a boat from there, as you know. Pah--how cowardly--how lacking in courage to winthe thing that above all things you desire--beauty--wealth--position--the solution of your every material andspiritual desire. And with poverty, commonplace, hard and poor work as the alternative to all this.
"But you must choose--choose! And then act. You must! You must! You must!"Thus the voice in parting, echoing from some remote part of the enormous chamber37.
And Clyde, listening at first with horror and in terror, later with a detached and philosophic38 calm as one who,entirely39 apart from what he may think or do, is still entitled to consider even the wildest and most desperateproposals for his release, at last, because of his own mental and material weakness before pleasures and dreamswhich he could not bring himself to forego, psychically40 intrigued41 to the point where he was beginning to thinkthat it might be possible. Why not? Was it not even as the voice said--a possible and plausible way--all hisdesires and dreams to be made real by this one evil thing? Yet in his case, because of flaws and weaknesses inhis own unstable42 and highly variable will, the problem was not to be solved by thinking thus--then--nor for thenext ten days for that matter.
He could not really act on such a matter for himself and would not. It remained as usual for him to be forcedeither to act or to abandon this most WILD and terrible thought. Yet during this time a series of letters--seven from Roberta, five from Sondra--in which in somber43 tones in so far as Roberta was concerned--in gay andcolorful ones in those which came from Sondra--was painted the now so sharply contrasting phases of the blackrebus which lay before him. To Roberta's pleadings, argumentative and threatening as they were, Clyde did nottrust himself to reply, not even by telephone. For now he reasoned that to answer would be only to lure44 Robertato her doom--or to the attempted drastic conclusion of his difficulties as outlined by the tragedy at Pass Lake.
At the same time, in several notes addressed to Sondra, he gave vent35 to the most impassioned declarations oflove--his darling--his wonder girl--how eager he was to be at Twelfth Lake by the morning of the Fourth, if hecould, and so thrilled to see her there again. Yet, alas45, as he also wrote now, so uncertain was he, even now, as tohow he was to do, there were certain details in connection with his work here that might delay him a day or twoor three--he could not tell as yet--but would write her by the second at the latest, when he would know positively46.
Yet saying to himself as he wrote this, if she but knew what those details were--if she but knew. Yet in penningthis, and without having as yet answered the last importunate47 letter from Roberta, he was also saying to himselfthat this did not mean that he was planning to go to Roberta at all, or that if he did, it did not mean that he wasgoing to attempt to kill her. Never once did he honestly, or to put it more accurately48, forthrightly49 andcourageously or coldly face the thought of committing so grim a crime. On the contrary, the nearer heapproached a final resolution or the need for one in connection with all this, the more hideous50 and terribleseemed the idea--hideous and difficult, and hence the more improbable it seemed that he should ever commit it.
It was true that from moment to moment--arguing with himself as he constantly was--sweating mental sweatsand fleeing from moral and social terrors in connection with it all, he was thinking from time to time that hemight go to Big Bittern in order to quiet her in connection with these present importunities and threats and hence(once more evasion--tergiversation with himself) give himself more time in which to conclude what his truecourse must be.
The way of the Lake.
The way of the Lake.
But once there--whether it would then be advisable so to do--or not--well who could tell. He might even yet beable to convert Roberta to some other point of view. For, say what you would, she was certainly acting51 veryunfairly and captiously52 in all this. She was, as he saw it in connection with his very vital dream of Sondra,making a mountain--an immense terror--out of a state that when all was said and done, was not so different fromEsta's. And Esta had not compelled any one to marry her. And how much better were the Aldens to his ownparents--poor farmers as compared to poor preachers. And why should he be so concerned as to what they wouldthink when Esta had not troubled to think what her parents would feel?
In spite of all that Roberta had said about blame, was she so entirely lacking in blame herself? To be sure, he hadsought to entice53 or seduce54 her, as you will, but even so, could she be held entirely blameless? Could she not haverefused, if she was so positive at the time that she was so very moral? But she had not. And as to all this, all thathe had done, had he not done all he could to help her out of it? And he had so little money, too. And was placedin such a difficult position. She was just as much to blame as he was. And yet now she was so determined55 todrive him this way. To insist on his marrying her, whereas if she would only go her own way--as she could withhis help--she might still save both of them all this trouble.
But no, she would not, and he would not marry her and that was all there was to it. She need not think that shecould make him. No, no, no! At times, when in such moods, he felt that he could do anything--drown her easilyenough, and she would only have herself to blame.
Then again his more cowering56 sense of what society would think and do, if it knew, what he himself would becompelled to think of himself afterwards, fairly well satisfied him that as much as he desired to stay, he was notthe one to do anything at all and in consequence must flee.
And so it was that Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday following Roberta's letter received on Monday, hadpassed. And then, on Thursday night, following a most torturesome mental day on his and Roberta's part for thatmatter, this is what he received:
Biltz, Wednesday, June 30th.
DEAR CLYDE:
This is to tell you that unless I hear from you either by telephone or letter before noon, Friday, I shall be inLycurgus that same night, and the world will know how you have treated me. I cannot and will not wait andsuffer one more hour. I regret to be compelled to take this step, but you have allowed all this time to go in silencereally, and Saturday is the third, and without any plans of any kind. My whole life is ruined and so will yours bein a measure, but I cannot feel that I am entirely to blame. I have done all I possibly could to make this burden aseasy for you as possible and I certainly regret all the misery57 it will cause my parents and friends and all whomyou know and hold dear. But I will not wait and suffer one hour more.
ROBERTA.
And with this in his hands, he was finally all but numbed58 by the fact that now decidedly he must act. She wasactually coming! Unless he could soothe60 or restrain her in some manner she would be here to-morrow--thesecond. And yet the second, or the third, or any time until after the Fourth, was no time to leave with her. Theholiday crowds would be too great. There would be too many people to see--to encounter. There must be moresecrecy. He must have at least a little more time in which to get ready. He must think now quickly and then act.
Great God! Get ready. Could he not telephone her and say that he had been sick or so worried on account of thenecessary money or something that he could not write--and that besides his uncle had sent for him to come toGreenwood Lake over the Fourth. His uncle! His uncle! No, that would not do. He had used his name too much,what difference should it make to him or her now, whether he saw his uncle once more or not? He was leavingonce and for all, or so he had been telling her, on her account, was he not? And so he had better say that he wasgoing to his uncle, in order to give a reason why he was going away so that, possibly, he might be able to returnin a year or so. She might believe that. At any rate he must tell her something that would quiet her until after theFourth--make her stay up there until at least he could perfect some plan--bring himself to the place where hecould do one thing or the other. One thing or the other.
Without pausing to plan anything more than just this at this time, he hurried to the nearest telephone where hewas least likely to be overheard. And, getting her once more, began one of those long and evasive and, in thisinstance, ingratiating explanations which eventually, after he had insisted that he had actually been sick- confined to his room with a fever and hence not able to get to a telephone--and because, as he now said, he hadfinally decided that it would be best if he were to make some explanation to his uncle, so that he might returnsome time in the future, if necessary--he, by using the most pleading, if not actually affectionate, tones andasking her to consider what a state he had been in, too, was able not only to make her believe that there was someexcuse for his delay and silence, but also to introduce the plan that he now had in mind; which was if only shecould wait until the sixth, then assuredly, without fail as to any particular, he would meet her at any place shewould choose to come--Homer, Fonda, Lycurgus, Little Falls--only since they were trying to keep everything sosecret, he would suggest that she come to Fonda on the morning of the sixth in order to make the noon train forUtica. There they could spend the night since they could not very well discuss and decide on their plans over thetelephone, now, and then they could act upon whatever they had decided. Besides he could tell her better thenjust how he thought they ought to do. He had an idea--a little trip maybe, somewhere before they got married orafter, just as she wished, but--something nice anyhow--(his voice grew husky and his knees and hands shookslightly as he said this, only Roberta could not detect the sudden perturbation within him). But she must not askhim now. He could not tell her over the phone. But as sure as anything, at noon on the sixth, he would be on thestation platform at Fonda. All she had to do after seeing him was to buy her ticket to Utica and get in one coach,and he would buy his separately and get in another--the one just ahead or behind hers. On the way down, if shedidn't see him at the station beforehand, he would pass through her car for a drink so that she could see that hewas there--no more than that--but she mustn't speak to him. Then once in Utica, she should check her bag and hewould follow her out to the nearest quiet corner. After that he would go and get her bag, and then they could goto some little hotel and he would take care of all the rest.
But she must do this. Would she have that much faith in him? If so, he would call her up on the third--the verynext day--and on the morning of the sixth--sure, so that both he and she would know that everything was allright--that she was starting and that he would be there. What was that? Her trunk? The little one? Sure. If sheneeded it, certainly bring it. Only, if he were she, he would not trouble to try to bring too much now, becauseonce she was settled somewhere, it would be easy enough to send for anything else that she really needed.
As Clyde stood at the telephone in a small outlying drug store and talked--the lonely proprietor61 buried in a sillyromance among his pots and phials at the back--it seemed as though the Giant Efrit that had previouslymaterialized in the silent halls of his brain, was once more here at his elbow--that he himself, cold and numb59 andfearsome, was being talked through--not actually talking himself.
Go to the lake which you visited with Sondra!
Get travel folders62 of the region there from either the Lycurgus House here or the depot63.
Go to the south end of it and from there walk south, afterwards.
Pick a boat that will upset easily--one with a round bottom, such as those you have seen here at Crum Lake andup there.
Buy a new and different hat and leave that on the water--one that cannot be traced to you. You might even tearthe lining64 out of it so that it cannot be traced.
Pack all of your things in your trunk here, but leave it, so that swiftly, in the event that anything goes wrong, youcan return here and get it and depart.
And take only such things with you as will make it seem as though you were going for an outing to TwelfthLake--not away, so that should you be sought at Twelfth Lake, it will look as though you had gone only there,not elsewhere.
Tell her that you intend to marry her, but AFTER you return from this outing, not before.
And if necessary strike a light blow, so as to stun65 her--no more--so that falling in the water, she will drown themore easily.
Do not fear!
Do not be weak!
Walk through the woods by night, not by day--so that when seen again you will be in Three Mile Bay orSharon--and can say that you came from Racquette or Long Lake south, or from Lycurgus north.
Use a false name and alter your handwriting as much as possible.
Assume that you will be successful.
And whisper, whisper--let your language be soft, your tone tender, loving, even. It must be, if you are to win herto your will now.
So the Efrit of his own darker self.
有一些人想象力特别敏锐，或因病态而不合时宜，他们的心态受到挫折，偏偏又不具有特别坚强的毅力，面临的问题却艰难复杂，于是会有这样的时刻:
虽然理智还没有真正从它的宝座上倒下来，但是毕竟已在摇摇欲坠，或是因受热而翘曲，或是发生完全动摇，这些人心里早已搞胡涂了，以致非理性或困惑，迷误或过错，至少暂时会占上风。在这种情况之下，对这些人来说，意志和勇气既然征服不了面前的严重困难，而又忍受不了，就只好急忙后退，完全听凭惊恐心态和短暂的非理性支配了。
这里就拿克莱德的心理来说，可以把它比拟为一小股已被强大敌人所击溃的残部，这时正在四处逃逸，但在仓皇逃跑中，也不时停下来歇歇脚，心里琢磨着怎样才能免遭全军覆没。于是，就在惊恐万状之中，乞灵于极端怪异。极其冒险的计划，妄想摆脱即将临头而又完全逃脱不了的命运。有时他眼里流露出一种紧张而又象着了魔似的神色……他常常过不了一会儿，就是过不了一个钟头，便又重新查看一下他那迄今早已紊乱不堪的行动和思绪。可是出路依然没有，连最狭窄的门缝儿也压根儿找不到。于是，《时代联合报》上的那条新闻所提示的解决办法，有时便又冒头了。从心理起源学来说，那还是他自己在内心狂乱之中热切而又沮丧地寻摸出路所产生的，因而也就特别抓紧不放了。
事实上，这个解决方法仿佛来自下界地狱或是上天乐园，这些区域是他从来没有猜测过或是洞察过的……那是另一个世界，既不是生的也不是死的世界，那儿的生灵也跟他本人截然不同……既象偶然擦一擦阿拉丁的神灯，神灵便突然出现似的，又象渔夫网里那个神秘的大口瓶罐，里头一溜轻烟腾空升起一个恶魔……隐藏在他本性中某种狡诈刁滑。穷凶极恶的意图，也就突然萌生了。
这既让他感到厌恶，可又只得听从摆布;既狡猾，而又很迷人;既友好，而又很残酷，逼他在两大邪恶中任择其一:
一大邪恶是不顾他强烈反抗，照样威胁着要把他毁掉;还有一大邪恶，虽然使他感到憎恶。剧痛或者骇怕，可还是保证给他自由。成功和爱情。
这时，他头脑里中枢神经系统，真可以比拟为一座四面密闭。然无人的大厅。他孤零零一个人，绝对不受外界打扰，端坐在大厅里，情不自禁地思考自己那些神秘或是邪恶。骇人的欲念，或是那个凶恶。原始而又堕落的"自我"所出的主意，他自己既没有力量把它赶走，让自己逃跑，但又没有胆量将它付诸行动。
这时，作为他心灵中最凶恶。最软弱的部分……妖魔在说话了。它说:
"你想逃避罗伯达的要求吗，可如今你好象怎么都逃避不了啦。你果真想逃避吗?
且听我说!
我这就给你指点一条路。那就是通往帕斯湖的那条路。你看过的那条新闻……你以为它无缘无故落入你手中吗?
你还记得大比腾湖，那儿深邃莫测的湛蓝色湖水。南面的小岛，以及通往三英里湾的荒凉小道吗?
多么合乎你的需要呀!
一只小划子或是一只独木舟，在这样的湖上，只要船底一朝天，罗伯达就从你的生活里永远消失了。她不会游泳!
那个湖……那个湖……你见过的那个湖……我已指给你看的那个湖……不是再理想也没有吗?
那么冷僻，几乎人迹罕至，又比较近……从这儿去才只有百把英里。而你和罗伯达要上那儿去，又有多方便……不是直接而是兜圈子去……就象你已答应过的，凭空捏造说是结婚旅行就得了。到时候，你只要把你的尊姓大名……还有她的姓名……换一换，要不然干脆让她用她的姓名，你用你的姓名就得了。过去你从来不许她提到你，提到你们这种关系，而她确实也没有向任何人提起过。你写给她的，净是一些正经八百的信。现在，你只要在你们早已讲好的地点跟她碰头，并且不让任何人看见你，那你不妨跟她如同从前去方达一样去大比腾……或是去附近某地就得了。""可是大比腾一家旅馆都没有呀，"克莱德当即提出纠正。"只有一间小棚屋，只能住几个人，而且还不太好。""那就敢情好。大概那儿的人就更少啦。""可是，我们一路上坐火车，会给人们看见呀。人们会认得出我是跟她一块作伴哩。""在方达，在格洛弗斯维尔，在小瀑布，人们不是也看见了你吗?
早先你们连车厢。座位不是都分开坐的，这一回你们就不能也那么办吗?
不是原来就说这回是秘密结婚吗?
那末，干吗不来一次秘密的蜜月旅行呢?
""说得对极了，说得对极了。""你只要一切准备停当，就去大比腾或是类似这样的湖上……那儿四周围有的是……在这么一个湖上，要划到远处去，不是太容易了吗?
没有人问你。也不用登记你自己或是她的真名实姓。先租一只船，预定租一个钟头，或是半天，或是一天。那个荒凉的湖上最最靠南的小岛，你是见过的。小岛不是很美吗?
值得一看呀。你们干吗不在结婚前去那儿作一次愉快的旅行呢?
不是她也很高兴去吗……现在她这么困顿，这么痛苦……在领受新生活的折磨前……去郊游……散散心，不好吗?
这不是通情达理而又似乎令人可信了吗?
按说，你们俩谁都再也回不来啦。你们俩都得淹死，可不是?
有谁会看见你们?
只有一两个导游……还有那个租船给你们的人……还有，照你所说的，一个小客栈老板。可是他们哪儿会知道你是什么人?
她又是什么人?
而你是听说过那湖水有多深呀。""可我并不想谋害她呀。我并不想谋害她呀。我连一根毫发都不想伤害她呀。
只要她同意我走我自己的路，她走她自己的路，那我就很高兴，从此再也不跟她见面了。""但要是你不跟她一块走，她决不会同意你走你自己的路，她走她自己的路呀。要是你走你自己的路，那就是说，你得失去桑德拉，以及失去跟她有关的所有一切，失去这儿一切欢乐的生活……失去你的地位，连同你的伯父。你的朋友，以及他们的汽车。舞会，还有去湖畔别墅作客。往后又怎么样呢?
一个微不足道的差使，一份少得可怜的工薪!
又得漂泊流浪一个时期，如同堪萨斯城那次倒霉事件以后一模一样。不管你上哪儿，再也找不到象这儿如此好的机会了。
难道说你甘心情愿过那样的生活不成?
""可是在这儿，会不会也发生一次不幸事故，把我所有梦想……我的前途，如同在堪萨斯城那次一样，全都给毁了?
""一次不幸事故?
当然罗……只不过性质不同罢了。如今，一切计划全掌握在你手里。反正你要怎么办，就怎么办。还不是易如反掌吗!
每年入夏以来，有多少只船底儿朝天呀……划船的人淹死了，因为他们十之八九不会游泳。有谁知道，跟罗伯达。奥尔登一块在大比腾湖上的那个男人会游泳呢?
要知道所有死亡的形式里头，就数淹死最简单了……没有响声……没有喊叫……说不定碰巧被一支桨砸倒了……在船舷边上。随后是无声无息了!
自由啦……至于尸体呢，也许人们永远也找不到了。即使找到了，确认了死者身份，难道不也很简单，佯装……只要你动一下脑筋就得了……你来第十二号湖以前，是在别的地方，到过别的一个湖上玩儿的。这么个想法有什么不对头呢?
纰漏又在哪儿呢?
""可是，假定说我把小船翻掉了，她并没有淹死，那怎么办?
要是她紧紧拉住船舷，拚命喊叫，被人救了上来，事后讲给别人听……可是，不，我不能这么干……我也不愿这么干。我可不愿砸她。这太可怕了……太卑鄙了。""不过，只要轻轻砸一下……哪怕是最最轻地砸一下，在这种情况下，足以吓得她魂灵儿出窍，就此完蛋了。真够惨的，是的，但是，她本来就有机会可以走她自己的路，可不是吗?
可她偏偏不愿意，也不让你走你自己的路。哦，这不是太不公道了吗?
但别忘了，在这以后，等待你的，是那个桑德拉……那个美人儿桑德拉……她在莱柯格斯的巨邸……财富……很高的社会地位……所有这一切，任你到哪儿再也得不到的……永远得不到……永远得不到。爱情和幸福……可以跟莱柯格斯上流社会里任何人平起平坐……甚至比你堂兄吉尔伯特还要高出一筹哩。"这声音暂时中断了，隐没在幽暗。岑寂。梦幻之中。
克莱德把刚才听到的所有这些话都考虑过了，但还是没有被说服。更深沉的恐惧，也许是天性发现，使响彻大厅的劝告声音顿时为之哑然。可他立时想到了桑德拉，以及与她有关的所有一切，随后又想到了罗伯达，凶恶的幽灵突然回来了，而且话儿说得又体贴，又巧妙。
"哦，还在琢磨这件事。你还没有找到一条出路……往后你也找不到。我已经忠实地。万无一失地向你指出了一条唯一的出路……唯一的出路……那就是长长的一片湖水。在湖上划呀划，最后找一个僻静处……南岸附近谁都见不到的而湖水又很深的地方，那还不是很容易吗?
从那儿穿过树林子去三英里湾和上格雷斯湖，不是挺方便吗?
再从那儿去克兰斯顿家，可不是吗?
那儿有一只船，这你也知道。嘿……多么胆小呀……没胆量去获取你最渴求的……姿色……财富……地位……你物质上。精神上的每一个欲望，通通都得到满足了。要不然……就只有贫穷。平庸。艰苦而又低贱的工作。""不过你必须作出抉择……抉择!
随后付诸行动。你必须这样!
你必须这样!
你必须这样!
"临走时那个声音就是这么说的，从大厅最远的角落里还传来了回响。
乍一听，克莱德感到惊恐万状，后来，他却很超然，能够冷静进行思考，就象这么一种人，不管自己怎么想的和怎么做的，对人们向他提出即便是最荒唐。最冒险的拯救意见，反正都得好好考虑。最后，由于他克服不了自己思想上。物质上的弱点，依然沉溺于享乐与梦幻之中，因此，他一下子好象鬼迷心窍似的，甚至开始觉得，也许这个出路是行得通的。为什么行不通呢?
那个声音不是也说过……唯一可能而又似乎可信的办法……就做这一件恶事，他的全部愿望和梦想，不是都可以实现了吗?
但因为他本人意志不坚定，善变，有些缺憾和弱点，他还是不能借助于这样思考的方法把自己的难题解决……不管是现在也好，还是在以后十天里也好，都是这样。
事实上，要他自行处理，他决不能，也不愿意采取这一着的。如同往常一样，他必须做出选择，要末被迫采取行动，要末干脆放弃这个最荒唐和骇人的念头。不过，就在这时接到一连串的信……罗伯达寄来七封，桑德拉寄来五封。
罗伯达信里全是忧郁的调子，桑德拉信里却是欢天喜地，绘声绘色……摆在他面前的奇异谜画，已把互相对立的两方描绘得如此惊人的鲜明。罗伯达的恳求，尽管言之有理，兼有威胁的意味，但克莱德却不敢回答，甚至不敢打电话。因为他认为，如今要是回答罗伯达的话，那只能是诱使她走上绝路……或是走向帕斯湖上惨剧给他所提示的。企图断然解决他的困境这一结局。
与此同时，他在寄给桑德拉的好几封信里，向他的心上人……他那个惊人的姑娘……热情似火地倾吐了他心中的爱恋……他巴不得能在四日早上来第十二号湖，渴望再次同她见面。可是，天哪，他接下去写道，可惜直到现在他还闹不清楚该怎么办才好。他在这儿还有些杂事，可能耽搁一两天或是三天……目下他还说不准……不过至迟到二日分晓时，他会写信给她的。不过，他一写到这里，便反躬自问:
万一她真的知道这些杂事底细……万一她真的知道呢?
下笔写到这里时，罗伯达最后一封坚决要求他的信，他还没有答复，于是，他自言自语说:
这并不意味着好象他还想上罗伯达那儿去;或是即使真的去了，也决不是说他企图谋害她。过去他从来没有一次老实地，或者说得更确切些，直爽地。
勇敢地，或是冷酷地承认自己想过要犯下如此令人发指的罪行。恰好相反，越是逼近最后解决这一问题时，或者越是觉得这么办完全有必要时，他就越是觉得这个念头又恶毒，又可怕……又恶毒，又难办。因此，越来越看得出，他大概还不至于会来这一招。诚然，现在……当他自我斗争时……他心里常常出冷汗，想使自己解脱由于这一切给道德。社会所带来的恐怖。他还常常想到自己不妨到大比腾去，以便抚慰一下不久前提出过坚决要求和威胁的罗伯达，借以(再次躲躲闪闪……支吾其词)得到宽裕的时间，最后考虑究竟该怎么办。
湖上那条路。
湖上那条路。
可是，一到了湖上……到底是下手好……还是不下手好……唉，有谁知道呢。说不定他甚至还能够改变罗伯达的思想，接受另外一种观点。因为，不管怎么说，目前她的做法，当然很不公道，她向他提出了过多的要求。他认为这同自己对桑德拉那种性命交关的梦想有联系，而罗伯达只不过是在制造巨大障碍……把最常见的事夸大为巨大的悲剧……其实，不管怎么说，她目前的情况跟爱思德还不是差不离吗?
可是，爱思德并没有逼着谁非娶了她不可。何况，奥尔登这一家，虽然是可怜的庄稼人，但与他自己的父母，可怜的传教士相比，还不是要好得多吗。既然爱思德压根儿没想到她的父母会有怎么感受，那他干吗要瞎操心，注意罗伯达的父母会有怎么个想法呢?
尽管罗伯达责怪他时说了许许多多话，难道说她自己就一点儿过错都没有吗?
是的，不错，是他诱骗了她，也可以说是诱奸了她，你一定会这么说的。可是，即使是这样，难道说她就一点儿过错也没有吗?
那时，她要是象自己所说恪守道德，不是可以拒绝他吗?
可她并没有这么做。再说，由于他的过错，给她带来了不幸，关于这一切，不是他已想尽一切办法，帮助她摆脱困境了吗?
何况他又只有这么一点儿钱。不用说，处境也是这么困难。不，她应当跟他同样受到谴责。可是，现在她却硬要推推搡搡他走这一条路，一个劲儿逼他娶了她。其实，只要她同意走她自己的路……在他的帮助下，她是完全可以做到的……也许她照样可以把他们俩从所有灾难中拯救出来。
可是，不，她不愿意这么做。他也不愿意娶她。说到底，就是这么一回事。
她休想逼他做啥就做啥。不，不，不!
有时，赶上他怀着这样心情的时候，就觉得自己真的有能耐……要淹死她，简直易如反掌，而她也就只好咎由自取了。
可是他还害怕要是社会上都知道了，又会怎样想他，怎样对待他，事后他自己又不得不怎样来看待自己呢。克莱德终于产生这么一个想法:
尽管自己很想在莱柯格斯待下去，可他压根儿不是挺有能耐的人，因此，他必须从这里逃走。
星期一接到罗伯达来信以后，星期二。星期三。星期四，就这样过去了。
到星期四晚上，也就是他和罗伯达为这件事度过了伤足脑筋的一天以后，克莱德收到了下面这一封信:
亲爱的克莱德:
我写信告知你:
要是我星期五中午以前还接不到你的电话或是你的信，当晚我就去莱柯格斯，那时人们就会知道你一直是怎样对待我的。就是再多一个钟头，我都不能也不愿等待和忍受了。我很难过我是逼不得已才走这一着的。可是说真的，这么长的时间都让你一声不吭地白白过去了，而星期六已是七月三日了，但我还是一点儿都不知道你的意图和计划。我的一生已经毁了，你的一部分也将毁了，不过，我并不认为这全得怪我呀。只要能减轻你的负担，我都尽力去做了。当然，我很难过，因为我的父母。朋友，以及所有你认得的人。
你所亲爱的人，都将由此而遭到不幸。不过，就是再多一个钟头，我都不愿等待和忍受了。
罗伯达六月三十日星期三于比尔茨克莱德手里拿着这封信，终于意识到如今他必须断然采取行动，因而一时发呆了。她真的要来了!
只要他不能安慰她或是没法阻拦她，明天……七月二日……她就要到莱柯格斯来了。可是二日。三日，他都不能跟她一块走，所以只好是在四日以后。假日里到处是人山人海，一定会看见很多人……还会碰上很多人。还得更秘密些才行。至少他还得要有一些时间准备哩。现在他必须很快琢磨一下，然后就行动起来。老天哪!
马上准备好。也许他先打个电话给她比较好一些，说他病了，或是说为了弄钱事而操心，或是说有其他事，所以他没有时间写信……再说，他伯父还要他七月四日到格林伍德湖去。他的伯父啊!
他的伯父啊!
不，这可要不得。他借用伯父名义的次数太多了。再说，现在他多见一次或是少见一次伯父，这对他或对她来说，究竟还有什么重大作用呢?
要知道，他这回是一去不复返了，或者说，他就是这样告诉罗伯达的，不是吗?
所以，也许最好还是对她这么说:
他要去看伯父，以便说明为什么他要走，这样，他过了一年半载，也许还可以回来。这她也许会相信的。不管怎么说，他必须向她说出一点名堂来，好让她心里先稳住，一直到七月四日以后……让她滞留在比尔茨，一直到他至少已拟定最后计划……他准备走这条路，或是那条路。反正不是这条路就是那条路。
决定了上面这个想法以后，他再也没有静下心来进一步思考，就急匆匆到最近一处打电话去了，那儿至少不会有人偷听。接通以后，他照例又开始向罗伯达进行又冗长。又含糊的。不过这次却显得讨好些的解释。开头，他一个劲儿说他近来确实病倒了……因为感冒发烧，一步也没跨出过家门，因此没法打电话……接着说，他最后决定最好还是要向他伯父解释一下，这样，必要的话，将来多咱他还可以回到莱柯格斯来……他还用一种百般恳求，但也说不上真正亲昵的语调，要求她也得想一想最近以来他过的是一种什么样的日子。这样，他终于让她相信，他迟迟不给她回音，保持缄默，好象是多少情有可原的。而且，他还把自己心里的计划告诉了她:
这就是说，只要她能等到七月六日，那时，不管有别的什么事情，随她定在哪个地方……霍默。方达。莱柯格斯。小瀑布，他准定会上那儿去跟她见面。不过，既然他们一切都要保守秘密，他便建议她不妨六日早上到方达，以便搭乘中午的火车去尤蒂卡。到那儿以后，他们可以住一宿，因为他们在电话里不便讨论和决定他们的计划，只有到了那个时候，他们才可以按照他们的决定去办。这时，他方才可以把他认为他们应该怎么办的种种打算详详细细地告诉她。他有一个想法……在他们结婚以前或是以后，说不定先去哪个地方作一次小小的旅行，正如过去她所希望的那样，不过……反正是很有味儿的一次郊游……(他说话时声音变哑，膝盖和双手都微微颤栗了。
不过，他心里突然慌了神，罗伯达却并没有发觉。)现在她暂时不用多问。他在电话里也没法都告诉她呀。不过，当然罗，六日中午，他一定在方达火车站的站台上。她跟他见面以后，只要买一张开往尤蒂卡的车票，然后上一节车厢，而他会单独给自己买票，上另一节车厢……反正就在她前头或是后头一节车厢。
下车时，要是事先她在车站上没看到他，他会走过她车厢来喝水。这样，她就会看到他是在那儿……至多就这样……不过她千万不能跟他说话。然后，一到了尤蒂卡以后，她就得自己照看好自己的手提包，他会跟在她后头出车站，来到附近僻静的交岔路口。在这以后，他会过来替她拎手提包。随后，他们一块上小旅馆去。剩下来的事，就通通都由他自己操办了。
不过，她必须照他所说的去做。她信得过他吗?
要是信得过，那他在七月三日……也就是明天……还有六日早上……会打电话给她……毫无疑问，这样他们俩就都会知道一切很顺当……她可以马上动身，他也上那儿去。怎么?
她随身要带箱子吗?
是那只小的?
当然罗，如果她需要，那就随身带着。只不过要是换上他呢，他在这个时刻是不会随身携带太多东西的。因为只要她在哪儿一落脚，确实需要什么就送什么，也方便得很。
克莱德在近郊一家小杂货铺电话间说这些话的时候……那个孤独的掌柜在后面瓶瓶罐罐柜台旁，正埋头看憨小说……那个不久前在他脑海里那座鸦雀无声的大厅中出现过的魔王这时好象又来到了他身边……是他通过克莱德之口在说话，而不是克莱德这个浑身发冷。四脚麻木。惊恐万状的本人在说话。
到你跟桑德拉一块去过的那个湖上去!
到莱柯格斯旅馆或是火车站去，寻摸那个地区的旅游指南。
到湖的南头去，然后再从那儿往南走。
挑选一条容易倾覆的船……圆肚底的那种船，就象你在克拉姆湖上，或是在这儿其他湖上见过的那一种。
买一顶跟你现在戴的迥然不同的新帽子，把它扔到水面上……这么一顶帽子，便不可能把你的身份暴露出来。你甚至于不妨把帽儿衬里都给撕掉，让人闹不清这帽儿是在哪儿买的。
把你所有的东西都装进手提箱，但要把它留在家里。万一出了事，你马上回来，拎了手提箱就溜走了。
只不过你随身也要带一点儿东西，让人看起来好象你就是去游第十二号湖……而不是一去不复返。要是有人一直追你追到了第十二号湖，那么，看起来就会好象你是直奔那儿，而压根儿别处都没有去。
告诉罗伯达，说你打算娶她，不过时间是在你这次郊游以后，而不是在这以前。
必要时，轻轻地砸一下，就可以把她吓昏……也够了……她一落水，也就一下子沉了底。
切莫害怕!
切莫手软!
要在夜间，而不是在大白天，穿过树林子……这样只能在三英里湾或是沙隆再见到你了……你不妨说是从南边拉洛特或是长湖来的，要不就说是从北边的莱柯格斯来的。
给自己造一个假名字，尽可能让你的笔迹变个样儿。
相信你胜利在望。
跟罗伯达说话时，声音要轻轻的，轻轻的……轻软。温柔，甚至脉脉含情。
务必这么办，你才能使她现在就屈从你的意志。
以上这些话，就是他自己心里的那个恶魔说的。
收听单词发音 |
1
morbidly
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| adv.病态地 | |
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2
totters
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| v.走得或动得不稳( totter的第三人称单数 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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3
warped
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| adj.反常的；乖戾的；（变）弯曲的；变形的v.弄弯，变歪( warp的过去式和过去分词 )；使（行为等）不合情理，使乖戾， | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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recede
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| vi.退(去)，渐渐远去；向后倾斜，缩进 | |
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precipitate
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| adj.突如其来的；vt.使突然发生；n.沉淀物 | |
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meditate
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| v.想，考虑，（尤指宗教上的）沉思，冥想 | |
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8
weirdest
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| 怪诞的( weird的最高级 )； 神秘而可怕的； 超然的； 古怪的 | |
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9
haphazard
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| adj.无计划的，随意的，杂乱无章的 | |
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10
impending
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| a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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13
plumbed
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| v.经历( plumb的过去式和过去分词 )；探究；用铅垂线校正；用铅锤测量 | |
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14
genie
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| n.妖怪，神怪 | |
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15
abhorrent
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| adj.可恶的，可恨的，讨厌的 | |
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16
intriguing
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| adj.有趣的；迷人的v.搞阴谋诡计(intrigue的现在分词)；激起…的好奇心 | |
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17
lone
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| adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的 | |
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18
primordial
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| adj.原始的；最初的 | |
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19
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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20
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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21
purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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22
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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23
shack
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| adj.简陋的小屋，窝棚 | |
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24
honeymoon
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| n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月 | |
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25
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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26
ordeal
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| n.苦难经历，（尤指对品格、耐力的）严峻考验 | |
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27
plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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28
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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29
lodges
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| v.存放( lodge的第三人称单数 )；暂住；埋入；（权利、权威等）归属 | |
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30
atone
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| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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31
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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32
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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33
contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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34
subtlety
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| n.微妙，敏锐，精巧；微妙之处，细微的区别 | |
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35
vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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36
secluded
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| adj.与世隔绝的；隐退的；偏僻的v.使隔开，使隐退( seclude的过去式和过去分词) | |
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37
chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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38
philosophic
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| adj.哲学的，贤明的 | |
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39
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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40
psychically
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| adv.精神上 | |
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41
intrigued
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| adj.好奇的，被迷住了的v.搞阴谋诡计(intrigue的过去式)；激起…的兴趣或好奇心；“intrigue”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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42
unstable
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| adj.不稳定的，易变的 | |
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43
somber
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| adj.昏暗的，阴天的，阴森的，忧郁的 | |
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44
lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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45
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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46
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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47
importunate
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| adj.强求的；纠缠不休的 | |
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48
accurately
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| adv.准确地，精确地 | |
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49
forthrightly
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| ad.言行坦诚地，直率地 | |
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50
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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51
acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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52
captiously
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53
entice
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| v.诱骗，引诱，怂恿 | |
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54
seduce
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| vt.勾引，诱奸，诱惑，引诱 | |
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55
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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56
cowering
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| v.畏缩，抖缩( cower的现在分词 ) | |
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57
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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58
numbed
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| v.使麻木，使麻痹( numb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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59
numb
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| adj.麻木的，失去感觉的；v.使麻木 | |
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60
soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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61
proprietor
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| n.所有人；业主；经营者 | |
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62
folders
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| n.文件夹( folder的名词复数 )；纸夹；（某些计算机系统中的）文件夹；页面叠 | |
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63
depot
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| n.仓库，储藏处；公共汽车站；火车站 | |
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64
lining
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| n.衬里，衬料 | |
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65
stun
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| vt.打昏，使昏迷，使震惊，使惊叹 | |
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