小说搜索     点击排行榜   最新入库
首页 » 双语小说 » 人性的枷锁 Of Human Bondage » chapter 5
选择底色: 选择字号:【大】【中】【小】
chapter 5
关注小说网官方公众号(noveltingroom),原版名著免费领。
Philip came gradually to know the people he was to live with, and by fragments of conversation, some of it not meant for his ears, learned a good deal both about himself and about his dead parents. Philip’s father had been much younger than the Vicar of Blackstable. After a brilliant career at St. Luke’s Hospital he was put on the staff, and presently began to earn money in considerable sums. He spent it freely. When the parson set about restoring his church and asked his brother for a subscription1, he was surprised by receiving a couple of hundred pounds: Mr. Carey, thrifty2 by inclination3 and economical by necessity, accepted it with mingled4 feelings; he was envious5 of his brother because he could afford to give so much, pleased for the sake of his church, and vaguely6 irritated by a generosity7 which seemed almost ostentatious. Then Henry Carey married a patient, a beautiful girl but penniless, an orphan8 with no near relations, but of good family; and there was an array of fine friends at the wedding. The parson, on his visits to her when he came to London, held himself with reserve. He felt shy with her and in his heart he resented her great beauty: she dressed more magnificently than became the wife of a hardworking surgeon; and the charming furniture of her house, the flowers among which she lived even in winter, suggested an extravagance which he deplored9. He heard her talk of entertainments she was going to; and, as he told his wife on getting home again, it was impossible to accept hospitality without making some return. He had seen grapes in the dining-room that must have cost at least eight shillings a pound; and at luncheon10 he had been given asparagus two months before it was ready in the vicarage garden. Now all he had anticipated was come to pass: the Vicar felt the satisfaction of the prophet who saw fire and brimstone consume the city which would not mend its way to his warning. Poor Philip was practically penniless, and what was the good of his mother’s fine friends now? He heard that his father’s extravagance was really criminal, and it was a mercy that Providence11 had seen fit to take his dear mother to itself: she had no more idea of money than a child.

When Philip had been a week at Blackstable an incident happened which seemed to irritate his uncle very much. One morning he found on the breakfast table a small packet which had been sent on by post from the late Mrs. Carey’s house in London. It was addressed to her. When the parson opened it he found a dozen photographs of Mrs. Carey. They showed the head and shoulders only, and her hair was more plainly done than usual, low on the forehead, which gave her an unusual look; the face was thin and worn, but no illness could impair12 the beauty of her features. There was in the large dark eyes a sadness which Philip did not remember. The first sight of the dead woman gave Mr. Carey a little shock, but this was quickly followed by perplexity. The photographs seemed quite recent, and he could not imagine who had ordered them.

‘D’you know anything about these, Philip?’ he asked.

‘I remember mamma said she’d been taken,’ he answered. ‘Miss Watkin scolded her.... She said: I wanted the boy to have something to remember me by when he grows up.’

Mr. Carey looked at Philip for an instant. The child spoke13 in a clear treble. He recalled the words, but they meant nothing to him.

‘You’d better take one of the photographs and keep it in your room,’ said Mr. Carey. ‘I’ll put the others away.’

He sent one to Miss Watkin, and she wrote and explained how they came to be taken.

One day Mrs. Carey was lying in bed, but she was feeling a little better than usual, and the doctor in the morning had seemed hopeful; Emma had taken the child out, and the maids were downstairs in the basement: suddenly Mrs. Carey felt desperately14 alone in the world. A great fear seized her that she would not recover from the confinement15 which she was expecting in a fortnight. Her son was nine years old. How could he be expected to remember her? She could not bear to think that he would grow up and forget, forget her utterly16; and she had loved him so passionately17, because he was weakly and deformed18, and because he was her child. She had no photographs of herself taken since her marriage, and that was ten years before. She wanted her son to know what she looked like at the end. He could not forget her then, not forget utterly. She knew that if she called her maid and told her she wanted to get up, the maid would prevent her, and perhaps send for the doctor, and she had not the strength now to struggle or argue. She got out of bed and began to dress herself. She had been on her back so long that her legs gave way beneath her, and then the soles of her feet tingled19 so that she could hardly bear to put them to the ground. But she went on. She was unused to doing her own hair and, when she raised her arms and began to brush it, she felt faint. She could never do it as her maid did. It was beautiful hair, very fine, and of a deep rich gold. Her eyebrows20 were straight and dark. She put on a black skirt, but chose the bodice of the evening dress which she liked best: it was of a white damask which was fashionable in those days. She looked at herself in the glass. Her face was very pale, but her skin was clear: she had never had much colour, and this had always made the redness of her beautiful mouth emphatic21. She could not restrain a sob22. But she could not afford to be sorry for herself; she was feeling already desperately tired; and she put on the furs which Henry had given her the Christmas before—she had been so proud of them and so happy then—and slipped downstairs with beating heart. She got safely out of the house and drove to a photographer. She paid for a dozen photographs. She was obliged to ask for a glass of water in the middle of the sitting; and the assistant, seeing she was ill, suggested that she should come another day, but she insisted on staying till the end. At last it was finished, and she drove back again to the dingy23 little house in Kensington which she hated with all her heart. It was a horrible house to die in.

She found the front door open, and when she drove up the maid and Emma ran down the steps to help her. They had been frightened when they found her room empty. At first they thought she must have gone to Miss Watkin, and the cook was sent round. Miss Watkin came back with her and was waiting anxiously in the drawing-room. She came downstairs now full of anxiety and reproaches; but the exertion24 had been more than Mrs. Carey was fit for, and when the occasion for firmness no longer existed she gave way. She fell heavily into Emma’s arms and was carried upstairs. She remained unconscious for a time that seemed incredibly long to those that watched her, and the doctor, hurriedly sent for, did not come. It was next day, when she was a little better, that Miss Watkin got some explanation out of her. Philip was playing on the floor of his mother’s bed-room, and neither of the ladies paid attention to him. He only understood vaguely what they were talking about, and he could not have said why those words remained in his memory.

‘I wanted the boy to have something to remember me by when he grows up.’

‘I can’t make out why she ordered a dozen,’ said Mr. Carey. ‘Two would have done.’

 

第五章

菲利普同那些自己要与之一起生活的人终于渐渐熟稔起来,通过他们日常交谈的片言只语--一有些当然并非有意说给他听的--了解到许多有关自己和他已故双亲的情况。菲利普的父亲要比牧师年轻好多岁。他在圣路加医院实习期间,成绩出众,被院方正式聘为该院的医生,不久,他就有了相当可观的收入。他花起钱来大手大脚,满不在乎。有回牧师着手修缮教堂,向这位兄弟募款,结果出乎意外地收到了几百镑。凯里先生手头拮据,省吃俭用惯了,他收下那笔款子时,心里酸甜苦辣,百感交集。他妒忌弟弟,因为弟弟竟拿得出这么一大笔钱来;他也为教堂感到高兴,不过又对这种近乎炫耀的慷慨解囊隐隐感到恼火。后来,亨利·凯里同一个病人结了婚,那是个容貌出众却一贫如洗的姑娘,一个无亲无故却是出身名门的孤女。婚礼上良朋佳友如云。打那以后,牧师每次上伦敦,总要去看望这位弟媳。不过在她面前,牧师总显得拘谨,甚至有些胆怯;心底里却对她的仪态万方暗怀愠怨。作为一个兢兢业业的外科医生的妻子,她的穿戴未免过于华丽;而她家里精美雅致的家具,还有那些鲜花--一甚至在寒冬腊月她也要生活在花丛之中--说明她生活之奢华,已达到令人痛心的程度。牧师还听她说起,她要出门去赴宴。正如牧师回到家里对他老伴所说,既然她受了人家的款待,总该礼尚往来罗。他在餐室里看到过一些鲜葡萄,想来至少得花八先令一磅;在吃午餐时,还请他尝用尚未上市的鲜芦笋,这种芦笋,在牧师自己家的菜园里还得过两个月才能拿来当菜吃。现在,他所预料的一切都已成了现实。牧师不由心生某种满足之感,就像预言家亲眼见到一个无视自己警告而一意孤行的城市,终于遭到地狱硫火的吞噬一般。可怜的菲利普现在差不多不名一文,他妈妈的那些良朋佳友现在又管什么用?菲利普听人说,自己父亲肆意挥霍实在是造了孽;老天爷还算慈悲,及早把他亲爱的妈妈领回到自己身边去了。在金钱方面,她并不比小孩更有见识。

菲利普来到布莱克斯泰勃一个星期后,发生了一件似乎使他伯父颇不以为然的事情。一天早上,牧师在餐桌上看到一个小包邮件,是由伦敦凯里太太生前所住寓所转寄来的。上面写的是已故凯里太太的名字和地址。牧师拆开一看,原来是凯里太太的照片,共十二张。照片只拍了头部和肩部。发式比平时朴素,云鬓低垂在前额上,使她显得有点异样;脸盘瘦削,面容憔悴,然而疾病却无损于她容貌的俏丽。一双乌黑的大眼睛,隐隐透出一股哀怨之情,这种哀怨神情菲利普已记不得了。凯里先生乍一见到这个已辞人世的女子,心头不觉微微一震,紧接着又感到迷惑不解。这些照片似乎是新近拍摄的,可他想象不出究竟是谁让拍的。

"你知道这些照片是怎么回事,菲利普?"他问道。

"我记得妈妈说去拍过照,"他回答说。"沃特金小姐还为这事责怪妈妈来着……妈妈说:'我要给孩子留下点什么,让他长大以后能记起我来。'"

凯里先生愣愣地望着菲利普。孩子的话音尖细而清朗。他回忆着母亲的话,却不明白话中的含义。

"你最好拿一张去,把它放在自己的房间里,"凯里先生说。"其余的就保存在我这儿吧。"

他寄了一张给沃特金小姐。她在回信里讲了拍摄这些照片的始末。

一天,凯里太太躺在床上,觉得人比平时稍微精神了些,医生早晨来看她,似乎也觉得病情有了点转机。埃玛带着孩子出去了,女仆们都在下面地下室里,凯里太太蓦地感到自己于然一身飘零世上,好不凄苦。一阵巨大的恐惧攫住心头:她原以为要不了两个星期,病体就会复原的,现在看来要水远卧床不起了。儿子今年才九岁,怎么能指望他将来不把自己忘掉呢?想到他日后长大成人会将自己忘掉,忘得一干二净,她心如刀割,难以忍受;她之所以这么炽烈地爱着他,是因为他体质赢弱,又有残疾,又因为他是自己的亲生骨肉。结婚以后她还没有拍过照,而结婚到现在一晃已有十载。她要让儿子知道自己临终前的模样,这样他就不会把自己忘得一干二净了。凯里太太知道,如果招呼侍女,说自己要起床,那么侍女一定会阻止她,说不定还会把医生叫来。她现在连挣扎、分辩的力气也没有。她下了床,开始穿衣。由于长期辗转病榻,双腿酥软,身体难以支撑,接着脚底又产生一种刺痛的感觉,甚至连脚都没法放到地上。她咬紧牙挺着。她不习惯自己梳理头发;她抬起手臂梳头时,感到一阵眩晕。她怎么也梳不成侍女给自己梳理的那种发式。那一头金黄色的秀发,既柔且密。两道细眉又直又黑。她穿上一条黑裙子,但选了一件最合她心意的夜礼服紧身胸衣。胸衣是用白锦缎做成的,这种料于在当时很时髦。她照照镜子,瞧见自己脸色苍白异常,但皮肤却很细洁。她脸上一向没有多少血色,而这一来,她那美丽的嘴唇反而越发显得红润。她情不自禁地抽泣了一声。但是,此刻可不是顾影自怜的当口,她已感到精疲力竭。凯里太太披上皮外衣,那是亨利前一年圣诞节送给她的,当时她颇为这件礼物自豪,感到无比幸福。她悄没声儿溜下楼梯,心儿突突剧跳不已。她顺顺当当出了屋子,叫了辆车去照相馆。凯里太太付了十一二张照片的钱。在坐着拍照的过程中,她支撑不住,不得不要了杯茶水。摄影师的助手看到她有病,建议她改日再来,但她坚持让自己拍完。最后,好歹算拍完了,她又叫车回肯辛顿的那所幽暗小屋。她打心底里厌恶那住所,想到自己竟要死在那里面,真可怕。

她看见大门洞开着。当她的车停下来时,侍女和埃玛三步并作两步奔下台阶来搀扶她。先前,她们发现房间空了,可真吓坏了。她们一转念,心想太太准是上沃特金小姐那儿去了,于是打发厨娘去找。不料,沃特金小姐却跟着厨娘一起来了,一直心焦如焚地守在客厅里。此刻沃特金小姐也赶下楼来,心里焦灼不安,嘴里不住嗔怪凯里太太。凯里太太经过这番折腾,已劳累过度,加上需要硬挺的时刻已经过去,她再也支撑不住,一头扑倒在埃玛怀里,随后便被抬到楼上。凯里太太虽只昏迷了不多一会儿,但对守护在身旁的人来说,时间却长得难以置信;他们赶紧派人去请医生,医生一直没来。到了第二大,凯里太太体力稍有恢复,沃特金小姐从她嘴里了解到了事情的原委。那当儿,菲利普正坐在母亲卧室的地板上玩耍,这两位妇人谁也没去注意他。她俩的谈话,他只是似懂非懂地听到了一些,他也说不清那些话怎么会留在他的记忆里的。

"我要给孩子留下点什么,让他长大以后能记起我来。"

"我不懂她为什么要拍十二张,"凯里先生说,"拍两张不就行了?"

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 subscription qH8zt     
n.预订,预订费,亲笔签名,调配法,下标(处方)
参考例句:
  • We paid a subscription of 5 pounds yearly.我们按年度缴纳5英镑的订阅费。
  • Subscription selling bloomed splendidly.订阅销售量激增。
2 thrifty NIgzT     
adj.节俭的;兴旺的;健壮的
参考例句:
  • Except for smoking and drinking,he is a thrifty man.除了抽烟、喝酒,他是个生活节俭的人。
  • She was a thrifty woman and managed to put aside some money every month.她是个很会持家的妇女,每月都设法存些钱。
3 inclination Gkwyj     
n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好
参考例句:
  • She greeted us with a slight inclination of the head.她微微点头向我们致意。
  • I did not feel the slightest inclination to hurry.我没有丝毫着急的意思。
4 mingled fdf34efd22095ed7e00f43ccc823abdf     
混合,混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 ); 混进,与…交往[联系]
参考例句:
  • The sounds of laughter and singing mingled in the evening air. 笑声和歌声交织在夜空中。
  • The man and the woman mingled as everyone started to relax. 当大家开始放松的时候,这一男一女就开始交往了。
5 envious n8SyX     
adj.嫉妒的,羡慕的
参考例句:
  • I don't think I'm envious of your success.我想我并不嫉妒你的成功。
  • She is envious of Jane's good looks and covetous of her car.她既忌妒简的美貌又垂涎她的汽车。
6 vaguely BfuzOy     
adv.含糊地,暖昧地
参考例句:
  • He had talked vaguely of going to work abroad.他含糊其词地说了到国外工作的事。
  • He looked vaguely before him with unseeing eyes.他迷迷糊糊的望着前面,对一切都视而不见。
7 generosity Jf8zS     
n.大度,慷慨,慷慨的行为
参考例句:
  • We should match their generosity with our own.我们应该像他们一样慷慨大方。
  • We adore them for their generosity.我们钦佩他们的慷慨。
8 orphan QJExg     
n.孤儿;adj.无父母的
参考例句:
  • He brought up the orphan and passed onto him his knowledge of medicine.他把一个孤儿养大,并且把自己的医术传给了他。
  • The orphan had been reared in a convent by some good sisters.这个孤儿在一所修道院里被几个好心的修女带大。
9 deplored 5e09629c8c32d80fe4b48562675b50ad     
v.悲叹,痛惜,强烈反对( deplore的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • They deplored the price of motor car, textiles, wheat, and oil. 他们悲叹汽车、纺织品、小麦和石油的价格。 来自辞典例句
  • Hawthorne feels that all excess is to be deplored. 霍桑觉得一切过分的举动都是可悲的。 来自辞典例句
10 luncheon V8az4     
n.午宴,午餐,便宴
参考例句:
  • We have luncheon at twelve o'clock.我们十二点钟用午餐。
  • I have a luncheon engagement.我午饭有约。
11 providence 8tdyh     
n.深谋远虑,天道,天意;远见;节约;上帝
参考例句:
  • It is tempting Providence to go in that old boat.乘那艘旧船前往是冒大险。
  • To act as you have done is to fly in the face of Providence.照你的所作所为那样去行事,是违背上帝的意志的。
12 impair Ia4x2     
v.损害,损伤;削弱,减少
参考例句:
  • Loud noise can impair your hearing.巨大的噪音有损听觉。
  • It can not impair the intellectual vigor of the young.这不能磨灭青年人思想活力。
13 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
14 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
15 confinement qpOze     
n.幽禁,拘留,监禁;分娩;限制,局限
参考例句:
  • He spent eleven years in solitary confinement.他度过了11年的单独监禁。
  • The date for my wife's confinement was approaching closer and closer.妻子分娩的日子越来越近了。
16 utterly ZfpzM1     
adv.完全地,绝对地
参考例句:
  • Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民,把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。
  • I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。
17 passionately YmDzQ4     
ad.热烈地,激烈地
参考例句:
  • She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿,也能爱得一往情深。
  • He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。
18 deformed iutzwV     
adj.畸形的;变形的;丑的,破相了的
参考例句:
  • He was born with a deformed right leg.他出生时右腿畸形。
  • His body was deformed by leprosy.他的身体因为麻风病变形了。
19 tingled d46614d7855cc022a9bf1ac8573024be     
v.有刺痛感( tingle的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • My cheeks tingled with the cold. 我的脸颊冻得有点刺痛。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The crowd tingled with excitement. 群众大为兴奋。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
20 eyebrows a0e6fb1330e9cfecfd1c7a4d00030ed5     
眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • Eyebrows stop sweat from coming down into the eyes. 眉毛挡住汗水使其不能流进眼睛。
  • His eyebrows project noticeably. 他的眉毛特别突出。
21 emphatic 0P1zA     
adj.强调的,着重的;无可置疑的,明显的
参考例句:
  • Their reply was too emphatic for anyone to doubt them.他们的回答很坚决,不容有任何人怀疑。
  • He was emphatic about the importance of being punctual.他强调严守时间的重要性。
22 sob HwMwx     
n.空间轨道的轰炸机;呜咽,哭泣
参考例句:
  • The child started to sob when he couldn't find his mother.孩子因找不到他妈妈哭了起来。
  • The girl didn't answer,but continued to sob with her head on the table.那个女孩不回答,也不抬起头来。她只顾低声哭着。
23 dingy iu8xq     
adj.昏暗的,肮脏的
参考例句:
  • It was a street of dingy houses huddled together. 这是一条挤满了破旧房子的街巷。
  • The dingy cottage was converted into a neat tasteful residence.那间脏黑的小屋已变成一个整洁雅致的住宅。
24 exertion F7Fyi     
n.尽力,努力
参考例句:
  • We were sweating profusely from the exertion of moving the furniture.我们搬动家具大费气力,累得大汗淋漓。
  • She was hot and breathless from the exertion of cycling uphill.由于用力骑车爬坡,她浑身发热。


欢迎访问英文小说网

©英文小说网 2005-2010

有任何问题,请给我们留言,管理员邮箱:[email protected]  站长QQ :点击发送消息和我们联系56065533