A Book About Myself
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CHAPTER LXV

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 As one looks back on youth so much of it appears ridiculous and maundering and without an essential impulse or direction, and yet as I look at life itself I am not sure but that indirection or unimportant idlings are a part of life’s method. We often think we are doing some vastly important thing, whereas in reality we are merely marking time. At other times, when we appear to be marking time we are growing or achieving at a great rate; and so it may have been with me. Instead of pushing on to New York, I chose to return to St. Louis and grasp one more hour of exquisite1 romance, drink one more cup of love. And whether it profited me save as pleasure is profit I cannot tell. Only, may not pleasure be the ultimate profit?
 
This trip to St. Louis was for me a most pivotal and deranging2 thing, probably a great mistake. At that time, of course, I could not see that. Instead, I was completely lost in the grip of a passion that subsequently proved detrimental3 or devastating4. The reality which I was seeking to establish was a temporary contact only. Any really beautiful girl or any idyllic5 scene could have done for me all the things that this particular girl and scene could do, only thus far I had chanced to meet no other who could displace her. And in a way I knew this then, only I realized also that one beautiful specimen6 was as good a key to the lock of earthly delights as another.... Only there were so many locks or chambers7 to which one key would fit, and how sad, in youth at least, not to have all the locks, or at least a giant illusion as to one!
 
This return began with a long hot trip in July to St. Louis, and then a quick change in the union Station there at evening which brought me by midnight to the small town in the backwoods of Missouri, near which she lived. It was hot. I recall the wide hot fields and small wooden towns of Southern Ohio and Indiana and this Missouri landscape in the night—the frogs, the katydids, the summer stars. I ached and

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1 exquisite zhez1     
adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的
参考例句：
  • I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
  • I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。
2 deranging 2b67c222392968f15f844867b11bec24     
v.疯狂的，神经错乱的( deranged的过去分词 )；混乱的
参考例句：
3 detrimental 1l2zx     
adj.损害的，造成伤害的
参考例句：
  • We know that heat treatment is detrimental to milk.我们知道加热对牛奶是不利的。
  • He wouldn't accept that smoking was detrimental to health.他不相信吸烟有害健康。
4 devastating muOzlG     
adj.毁灭性的，令人震惊的，强有力的
参考例句：
  • It is the most devastating storm in 20 years.这是20年来破坏性最大的风暴。
  • Affairs do have a devastating effect on marriages.婚外情确实会对婚姻造成毁灭性的影响。
5 idyllic lk1yv     
adj.质朴宜人的，田园风光的
参考例句：
  • These scenes had an idyllic air.这种情景多少有点田园气氛。
  • Many people living in big cities yearn for an idyllic country life.现在的很多都市人向往那种田园化的生活。
6 specimen Xvtwm     
n.样本，标本
参考例句：
  • You'll need tweezers to hold up the specimen.你要用镊子来夹这标本。
  • This specimen is richly variegated in colour.这件标本上有很多颜色。
7 chambers c053984cd45eab1984d2c4776373c4fe     
n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅
参考例句：
  • The body will be removed into one of the cold storage chambers. 尸体将被移到一个冷冻间里。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Mr Chambers's readable book concentrates on the middle passage: the time Ransome spent in Russia. Chambers先生的这本值得一看的书重点在中间：Ransome在俄国的那几年。 来自互联网
8 yearned df1a28ecd1f3c590db24d0d80c264305     
渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • The people yearned for peace. 人民渴望和平。
  • She yearned to go back to the south. 她渴望回到南方去。
9 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的
参考例句：
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
10 lone Q0cxL     
adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的
参考例句：
  • A lone sea gull flew across the sky.一只孤独的海鸥在空中飞过。
  • She could see a lone figure on the deserted beach.她在空旷的海滩上能看到一个孤独的身影。
11 chirping 9ea89833a9fe2c98371e55f169aa3044     
鸟叫，虫鸣( chirp的现在分词 )
参考例句：
  • The birds,chirping relentlessly,woke us up at daybreak. 破晓时鸟儿不断吱吱地叫，把我们吵醒了。
  • The birds are chirping merrily. 鸟儿在欢快地鸣叫着。
12 cindery 4389f3190ff190bcaa76fc817e37134c     
adj.灰烬的，煤渣的
参考例句：
13 shutters 74d48a88b636ca064333022eb3458e1f     
百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门
参考例句：
  • The shop-front is fitted with rolling shutters. 那商店的店门装有卷门。
  • The shutters thumped the wall in the wind. 在风中百叶窗砰砰地碰在墙上。
14 lighting CpszPL     
n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光
参考例句：
  • The gas lamp gradually lost ground to electric lighting.煤气灯逐渐为电灯所代替。
  • The lighting in that restaurant is soft and romantic.那个餐馆照明柔和而且浪漫。
15 mattress Z7wzi     
n.床垫，床褥
参考例句：
  • The straw mattress needs to be aired.草垫子该晾一晾了。
  • The new mattress I bought sags in the middle.我买的新床垫中间陷了下去。
16 prospective oR7xB     
adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的
参考例句：
  • The story should act as a warning to other prospective buyers.这篇报道应该对其他潜在的购买者起到警示作用。
  • They have all these great activities for prospective freshmen.这会举办各种各样的活动来招待未来的新人。
17 quaint 7tqy2     
adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的
参考例句：
  • There were many small lanes in the quaint village.在这古香古色的村庄里，有很多小巷。
  • They still keep some quaint old customs.他们仍然保留着一些稀奇古怪的旧风俗。
18 graceful deHza     
adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的
参考例句：
  • His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
  • The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。
19 veranda XfczWG     
n.走廊；阳台
参考例句：
  • She sat in the shade on the veranda.她坐在阳台上的遮荫处。
  • They were strolling up and down the veranda.他们在走廊上来回徜徉。
20 Congressman TvMzt7     
n.（美）国会议员
参考例句：
  • He related several anecdotes about his first years as a congressman.他讲述自己初任议员那几年的几则轶事。
  • The congressman is meditating a reply to his critics.这位国会议员正在考虑给他的批评者一个答复。
21 hoyden XcgxL     
n.野丫头，淘气姑娘
参考例句：
  • Don't put out your tongue at me,you cheeky hoyden!不要向我伸舌头，你这个没规矩的野丫头！
  • It was rather imprudent of the hoydento interrupt our conversation like that.这丫头，打断我们的谈话，没轻没重的。
22 fulfill Qhbxg     
vt.履行，实现，完成；满足，使满意
参考例句：
  • If you make a promise you should fulfill it.如果你许诺了，你就要履行你的诺言。
  • This company should be able to fulfill our requirements.这家公司应该能够满足我们的要求。
23 lengthening c18724c879afa98537e13552d14a5b53     
（时间或空间）延长，伸长( lengthen的现在分词 )； 加长
参考例句：
  • The evening shadows were lengthening. 残阳下的影子越拉越长。
  • The shadows are lengthening for me. 我的影子越来越长了。 来自演讲部分
24 wasps fb5b4ba79c574cee74f48a72a48c03ef     
黄蜂( wasp的名词复数 )； 胡蜂； 易动怒的人； 刻毒的人
参考例句：
  • There's a wasps' nest in that old tree. 那棵老树上有一个黄蜂巢。
  • We live in dread not only of unpleasant insects like spiders or wasps, but of quite harmless ones like moths. 我们不仅生活在对象蜘蛛或黄蜂这样的小虫的惧怕中，而且生活在对诸如飞蛾这样无害昆虫的惧怕中
25 texture kpmwQ     
n.(织物)质地；(材料)构造；结构；肌理
参考例句：
  • We could feel the smooth texture of silk.我们能感觉出丝绸的光滑质地。
  • Her skin has a fine texture.她的皮肤细腻。
26 smacked bb7869468e11f63a1506d730c1d2219e     
拍，打，掴( smack的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • He smacked his lips but did not utter a word. 他吧嗒两下嘴，一声也不言语。
  • She smacked a child's bottom. 她打孩子的屁股。
27 fixedness cfd25d584565b602b5bbfba1a3aedc85     
n.固定；稳定；稳固
参考例句：
  • The fixedness of his gaze upset her. 他目不转睛的凝视让她心烦意乱。 来自互联网
  • Its distributing of stress is simulated by finite element analysis software order to compare their fixedness. 并使用有限元分析软件对不同微桥进行结构分析，以比较其稳固性。 来自互联网
28 sentimental dDuzS     
adj.多愁善感的，感伤的
参考例句：
  • She's a sentimental woman who believes marriage comes by destiny.她是多愁善感的人，她相信姻缘命中注定。
  • We were deeply touched by the sentimental movie.我们深深被那感伤的电影所感动。
29 purely 8Sqxf     
adv.纯粹地，完全地
参考例句：
  • I helped him purely and simply out of friendship.我帮他纯粹是出于友情。
  • This disproves the theory that children are purely imitative.这证明认为儿童只会单纯地模仿的理论是站不住脚的。
30 alas Rx8z1     
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)
参考例句：
  • Alas!The window is broken!哎呀！窗子破了！
  • Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而，真理很少带有浪漫色彩。
31 enraptured ee087a216bd29ae170b10f093b9bf96a     
v.使狂喜( enrapture的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • He was enraptured that she had smiled at him. 她对他的微笑使他心荡神驰。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • They were enraptured to meet the great singer. 他们和大名鼎鼎的歌手见面，欣喜若狂。 来自《简明英汉词典》
32 elegy HqBxD     
n.哀歌，挽歌
参考例句：
  • Good heavens,what would be more tragic than that elegy!天哪，还有什么比那首挽歌更悲伤的呢！
  • His book is not intended to be a complete history but a personal elegy.他的书与其说是一部完整的历史，更像是一篇个人挽歌。
33 epic ui5zz     
n.史诗，叙事诗；adj.史诗般的，壮丽的
参考例句：
  • I gave up my epic and wrote this little tale instead.我放弃了写叙事诗，而写了这个小故事。
  • They held a banquet of epic proportions.他们举行了盛大的宴会。
34 frail yz3yD     
adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的
参考例句：
  • Mrs. Warner is already 96 and too frail to live by herself.华纳太太已经九十六岁了，身体虚弱，不便独居。
  • She lay in bed looking particularly frail.她躺在床上，看上去特别虚弱。
35 virtue BpqyH     
n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力
参考例句：
  • He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
  • You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。
36 brutality MSbyb     
n.野蛮的行为，残忍，野蛮
参考例句：
  • The brutality of the crime has appalled the public. 罪行之残暴使公众大为震惊。
  • a general who was infamous for his brutality 因残忍而恶名昭彰的将军
37 apparently tMmyQ     
adv.显然地；表面上，似乎
参考例句：
  • An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
  • He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
38 indirectly a8UxR     
adv.间接地，不直接了当地
参考例句：
  • I heard the news indirectly.这消息我是间接听来的。
  • They were approached indirectly through an intermediary.通过一位中间人，他们进行了间接接触。
39 rigidity HDgyg     
adj.钢性，坚硬
参考例句：
  • The rigidity of the metal caused it to crack.这金属因刚度强而产生裂纹。
  • He deplored the rigidity of her views.他痛感她的观点僵化。
40 inflamed KqEz2a     
adj.发炎的，红肿的v.（使）变红，发怒，过热( inflame的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • His comments have inflamed teachers all over the country. 他的评论激怒了全国教师。
  • Her joints are severely inflamed. 她的关节严重发炎。 来自《简明英汉词典》
41 crave fowzI     
vt.渴望得到，迫切需要，恳求，请求
参考例句：
  • Many young children crave attention.许多小孩子渴望得到关心。
  • You may be craving for some fresh air.你可能很想呼吸呼吸新鲜空气。
42 physically iNix5     
adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律
参考例句：
  • He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。
  • Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。
43 yearning hezzPJ     
a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的
参考例句：
  • a yearning for a quiet life 对宁静生活的向往
  • He felt a great yearning after his old job. 他对过去的工作有一种强烈的渴想。
44 horrified 8rUzZU     
a.(表现出)恐惧的
参考例句：
  • The whole country was horrified by the killings. 全国都对这些凶杀案感到大为震惊。
  • We were horrified at the conditions prevailing in local prisons. 地方监狱的普遍状况让我们震惊。
45 delightful 6xzxT     
adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的
参考例句：
  • We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
  • Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。
46 languorous 9ba067f622ece129006173ef5479f0e6     
adj.怠惰的，没精打采的
参考例句：
  • For two days he was languorous and esteemed. 两天来，他因身体衰弱无力，受到尊重。 来自辞典例句
  • Some one says Fuzhou is a languorous and idle city. 有人说，福州是一个慵懒闲淡的城市。 来自互联网
47 ripening 5dd8bc8ecf0afaf8c375591e7d121c56     
v.成熟，使熟( ripen的现在分词 )；熟化；熟成
参考例句：
  • The corn is blossoming [ripening]. 玉米正在开花[成熟]。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • When the summer crop is ripening, the autumn crop has to be sowed. 夏季作物成熟时，就得播种秋季作物。 来自《简明英汉词典》
48 drowsy DkYz3     
adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的
参考例句：
  • Exhaust fumes made him drowsy and brought on a headache.废气把他熏得昏昏沉沉，还引起了头疼。
  • I feel drowsy after lunch every day.每天午饭后我就想睡觉。
49 starry VhWzfP     
adj.星光照耀的, 闪亮的
参考例句：
  • He looked at the starry heavens.他瞧着布满星星的天空。
  • I like the starry winter sky.我喜欢这满天星斗的冬夜。
50 croak yYLzJ     
vi.嘎嘎叫，发牢骚
参考例句：
  • Everyone seemed rather out of sorts and inclined to croak.每个人似乎都有点不对劲，想发发牢骚。
  • Frogs began to croak with the rainfall.蛙随着雨落开始哇哇叫。
51 elusiveness e973cf0caf5e0817d994983d2aefda00     
狡诈
参考例句：
  • The author's elusiveness may at times be construed as evasiveness. 这个作家的晦涩文笔有时会被理解为故弄玄虚。 来自互联网
  • For all their elusiveness, suicide rates can certainly be correlated with other social and economic indicators. 相对于自杀的令人难以捉摸而言，它却能揭示与之相关的社会问题和经济问题。 来自互联网
52 deterred 6509d0c471f59ae1f99439f51e8ea52d     
v.阻止，制止( deter的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • I told him I wasn't interested, but he wasn't deterred. 我已告诉他我不感兴趣，可他却不罢休。
  • Jeremy was not deterred by this criticism. 杰里米没有因这一批评而却步。 来自辞典例句
53 zest vMizT     
n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣
参考例句：
  • He dived into his new job with great zest.他充满热情地投入了新的工作。
  • He wrote his novel about his trip to Asia with zest.他兴趣浓厚的写了一本关于他亚洲之行的小说。
54 binding 2yEzWb     
有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的
参考例句：
  • The contract was not signed and has no binding force. 合同没有签署因而没有约束力。
  • Both sides have agreed that the arbitration will be binding. 双方都赞同仲裁具有约束力。
55 sips 17376ee985672e924e683c143c5a5756     
n.小口喝，一小口的量( sip的名词复数 )v.小口喝，呷，抿( sip的第三人称单数 )
参考例句：
  • You must administer them slowly, allowing the child to swallow between sips. 你应慢慢给药，使小儿在吸吮之间有充分的时间吞咽。 来自辞典例句
  • Emission standards applicable to preexisting stationary sources appear in state implementation plans (SIPs). 在《州实施计划》中出现了固定污染的排放标准。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法

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