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CHAPTER XI
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With Billy on strike and away doing picket1 duty, and with the departure of Mercedes and the death of Bert, Saxon was left much to herself in a loneliness that even in one as healthy-minded as she could not fail to produce morbidness2. Mary, too, had left, having spoken vaguely3 of taking a job at housework in Piedmont.
Billy could help Saxon little in her trouble. He dimly sensed her suffering, without comprehending the scope and intensity4 of it. He was too man-practical, and, by his very sex, too remote from the intimate tragedy that was hers. He was an outsider at the best, a friendly onlooker5 who saw little. To her the baby had been quick and real. It was still quick and real. That was her trouble. By no deliberate effort of will could she fill the aching void of its absence. Its reality became, at times, an hallucination. Somewhere it still was, and she must find it. She would catch herself, on occasion, listening with strained ears for the cry she had never heard, yet which, in fancy, she had heard a thousand times in the happy months before the end. Twice she left her bed in her sleep and went searching—each time coming to herself beside her mother's chest of drawers in which were the tiny garments. To herself, at such moments, she would say, “I had a baby once.” And she would say it, aloud, as she watched the children playing in the street.
One day, on the Eighth street cars, a young mother sat beside her, a crowing infant in her arms. And Saxon said to her:
“I had a baby once. It died.”
The mother looked at her, startled, half-drew the baby tighter in her arms, jealously, or as if in fear; then she softened6 as she said:
“You poor thing.”
“Yes,” Saxon nodded. “It died.”
Tears welled into her eyes, and the telling of her grief seemed to have brought relief. But all the day she suffered from an almost overwhelming desire to recite her sorrow to the world—to the paying
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1
picket
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n.纠察队;警戒哨;v.设置纠察线;布置警卫 | |
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2
morbidness
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(精神的)病态 | |
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3
vaguely
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adv.含糊地,暖昧地 | |
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intensity
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n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
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onlooker
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n.旁观者,观众 | |
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softened
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(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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7
teller
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n.银行出纳员;(选举)计票员 | |
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killers
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凶手( killer的名词复数 ); 消灭…者; 致命物; 极难的事 | |
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aisle
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n.(教堂、教室、戏院等里的)过道,通道 | |
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irate
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adj.发怒的,生气 | |
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11
highland
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n.(pl.)高地,山地 | |
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gasped
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v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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steadily
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adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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labor
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n.劳动,努力,工作,劳工;分娩;vi.劳动,努力,苦干;vt.详细分析;麻烦 | |
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dependence
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n.依靠,依赖;信任,信赖;隶属 | |
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rigid
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adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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formerly
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adv.从前,以前 | |
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18
blight
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n.枯萎病;造成破坏的因素;vt.破坏,摧残 | |
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lodgers
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n.房客,租住者( lodger的名词复数 ) | |
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fixed
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adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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pawn
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n.典当,抵押,小人物,走卒;v.典当,抵押 | |
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vent
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n.通风口,排放口;开衩;vt.表达,发泄 | |
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23
gee
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n.马;int.向右!前进!,惊讶时所发声音;v.向右转 | |
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chunks
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厚厚的一块( chunk的名词复数 ); (某物)相当大的数量或部分 | |
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25
shuddering
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v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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superstitious
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adj.迷信的 | |
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concurred
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同意(concur的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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gleaned
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v.一点点地收集(资料、事实)( glean的过去式和过去分词 );(收割后)拾穗 | |
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allied
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adj.协约国的;同盟国的 | |
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30
helping
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n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的 | |
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installments
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部分( installment的名词复数 ) | |
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32
dealers
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n.商人( dealer的名词复数 );贩毒者;毒品贩子;发牌者 | |
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defiantly
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adv.挑战地,大胆对抗地 | |
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bravado
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n.虚张声势,故作勇敢,逞能 | |
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skull
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n.头骨;颅骨 | |
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wagon
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n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车 | |
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brutality
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n.野蛮的行为,残忍,野蛮 | |
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sentimental
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adj.多愁善感的,感伤的 | |
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veins
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n.纹理;矿脉( vein的名词复数 );静脉;叶脉;纹理 | |
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defense
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n.防御,保卫;[pl.]防务工事;辩护,答辩 | |
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treasury
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n.宝库;国库,金库;文库 | |
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bail
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v.舀(水),保释;n.保证金,保释,保释人 | |
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prospective
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adj.预期的,未来的,前瞻性的 | |
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dwelling
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n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
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mutual
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adj.相互的,彼此的;共同的,共有的 | |
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knuckles
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n.(指人)指关节( knuckle的名词复数 );(指动物)膝关节,踝v.(指人)指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 );(指动物)膝关节,踝 | |
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remarkably
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ad.不同寻常地,相当地 | |
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reticence
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n.沉默,含蓄 | |
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caressed
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爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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moody
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adj.心情不稳的,易怒的,喜怒无常的 | |
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51
buck
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n.雄鹿,雄兔;v.马离地跳跃 | |
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52
queried
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v.质疑,对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 );询问 | |
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giggled
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v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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54
pickets
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罢工纠察员( picket的名词复数 ) | |
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alley
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n.小巷,胡同;小径,小路 | |
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tandem
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n.同时发生;配合;adv.一个跟着一个地;纵排地;adj.(两匹马)前后纵列的 | |
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57
wrangled
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v.争吵,争论,口角( wrangle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
wrangle
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vi.争吵 | |
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59
snarled
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v.(指狗)吠,嗥叫, (人)咆哮( snarl的过去式和过去分词 );咆哮着说,厉声地说 | |
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60
snarl
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v.吼叫,怒骂,纠缠,混乱;n.混乱,缠结,咆哮 | |
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automobiles
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n.汽车( automobile的名词复数 ) | |
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wrangling
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v.争吵,争论,口角( wrangle的现在分词 ) | |
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snarling
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v.(指狗)吠,嗥叫, (人)咆哮( snarl的现在分词 );咆哮着说,厉声地说 | |
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belly
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n.肚子,腹部;(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分,膛 | |
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appreciation
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n.评价;欣赏;感谢;领会,理解;价格上涨 | |
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wreck
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n.失事,遇难;沉船;vt.(船等)失事,遇难 | |
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ribs
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n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 );(船或屋顶等的)肋拱;肋骨状的东西;(织物的)凸条花纹 | |
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ethical
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adj.伦理的,道德的,合乎道德的 | |
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tangled
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adj. 纠缠的,紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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meshes
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网孔( mesh的名词复数 ); 网状物; 陷阱; 困境 | |
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dynamite
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n./vt.(用)炸药(爆破) | |
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72
naive
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adj.幼稚的,轻信的;天真的 | |
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condemnation
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n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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CHAPTER X
下一章:
CHAPTER XII
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