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CHAPTER V.—HER SITUATION IS A TRYING ONE
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May 15.—The more I think of it day after day, the more convinced I am that my suspicions are true. He is too interested in me—well, in plain words, loves me; or, not to degrade that phrase, has a wild passion for me; and his affection for Caroline is that towards a sister only. That is the distressing1 truth; how it has come about I cannot tell, and it wears upon me.
A hundred little circumstances have revealed this to me, and the longer I dwell upon it the more agitating2 does the consideration become. Heaven only can help me out of the terrible difficulty in which this places me. I have done nothing to encourage him to be faithless to her. I have studiously kept out of his way; have persistently3 refused to be a third in their interviews. Yet all to no purpose. Some fatality4 has seemed to rule, ever since he came to the house, that this disastrous5 inversion6 of things should arise. If I had only foreseen the possibility of it before he arrived, how gladly would I have departed on some visit or other to the meanest friend to hinder such an apparent treachery. But I blindly welcomed him—indeed, made myself particularly agreeable to him for her sake.
There is no possibility of my suspicions being wrong; not until they have reached absolute certainty have I dared even to admit the truth to myself. His conduct to-day would have proved them true had I entertained no previous apprehensions7. Some photographs of myself came for me by post, and they were handed round at the breakfast table and criticised. I put them temporarily on a side table, and did not remember them until an hour afterwards when I was in my own room. On going to fetch them I discovered him standing8 at the table with his back towards the door bending over the photographs, one of which he raised to his lips.
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1
distressing
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a.使人痛苦的 | |
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2
agitating
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搅动( agitate的现在分词 ); 激怒; 使焦虑不安; (尤指为法律、社会状况的改变而)激烈争论 | |
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3
persistently
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ad.坚持地;固执地 | |
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4
fatality
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n.不幸,灾祸,天命 | |
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disastrous
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adj.灾难性的,造成灾害的;极坏的,很糟的 | |
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inversion
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n.反向,倒转,倒置 | |
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7
apprehensions
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疑惧 | |
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8
standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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climax
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n.顶点;高潮;v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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10
precipitate
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adj.突如其来的;vt.使突然发生;n.沉淀物 | |
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catastrophe
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n.大灾难,大祸 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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contiguity
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n.邻近,接壤 | |
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mere
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adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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precipitated
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v.(突如其来地)使发生( precipitate的过去式和过去分词 );促成;猛然摔下;使沉淀 | |
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behold
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v.看,注视,看到 | |
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tutelary
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adj.保护的;守护的 | |
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concealed
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a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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beheld
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v.看,注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 );瞧;看呀;(叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现)哎哟 | |
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fascination
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n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
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riveted
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铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 ); 把…固定住; 吸引; 引起某人的注意 | |
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misery
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n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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evade
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vt.逃避,回避;避开,躲避 | |
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betrothed
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n. 已订婚者 动词betroth的过去式和过去分词 | |
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converse
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vi.谈话,谈天,闲聊;adv.相反的,相反 | |
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alas
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int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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quench
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vt.熄灭,扑灭;压制 | |
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sketching
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n.草图 | |
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privately
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adv.以私人的身份,悄悄地,私下地 | |
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repulse
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n.击退,拒绝;vt.逐退,击退,拒绝 | |
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martyr
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n.烈士,殉难者;vt.杀害,折磨,牺牲 | |
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interfere
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v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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urbane
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adj.温文尔雅的,懂礼的 | |
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remonstrance
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n抗议,抱怨 | |
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inquiry
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n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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scrap
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n.碎片;废料;v.废弃,报废 | |
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deplores
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v.悲叹,痛惜,强烈反对( deplore的第三人称单数 ) | |
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deferred
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adj.延期的,缓召的v.拖延,延缓,推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 );服从某人的意愿,遵从 | |
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melancholy
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n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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perverse
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adj.刚愎的;坚持错误的,行为反常的 | |
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