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CHAPTER V
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Understand that up to this time I had not yet thought of the stage as a career for myself. I hadn't yet needed it. I had not then realized that the insight and passion which have singled me out among women of my profession couldn't be turned to render the mere1 business of living beautiful and fit. I hardly understand it now. Why should people pay night after night to see me loving, achieving, suffering, in a way they wouldn't think of undertaking2 for themselves? Life as I saw it was sufficiently3 dramatic: charged, wonderful. I at least felt at home in the great moments of kings, the tender hours of poets, and I hadn't thought of my participation4 in these things rendering5 me in any way superior to Higgleston or even different. If I had, I shouldn't have settled there in the first place. If I had glimpsed even at Tommy's exclusion6 from all that mattered passionately7 to me, I shouldn't have married him. It was because I had not yet begun to be markedly dissatisfied with either of them that I presently got myself the reputation of having trampled8 both Tommy and Higgleston underfoot. I must ask your patience for a little until I show you how wholly I offered myself to them both and how completely they wouldn't have me.
The point of departure was of course that I didn't accept the Higglestonian reading of married obligations to mean that my whole time was to be taken up with just living with Tommy. It was as natural, and in view of the scope it afforded for individual development, a more convenient arrangement than living with my mother, but not a whit9 more absorbing. I couldn't, anyway, think of just living as an end, and accordingly I looked about for a more
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mere
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adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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undertaking
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n.保证,许诺,事业 | |
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sufficiently
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adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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participation
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n.参与,参加,分享 | |
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rendering
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n.表现,描写 | |
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exclusion
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n.拒绝,排除,排斥,远足,远途旅行 | |
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passionately
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ad.热烈地,激烈地 | |
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trampled
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踩( trample的过去式和过去分词 ); 践踏; 无视; 侵犯 | |
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whit
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n.一点,丝毫 | |
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spacious
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adj.广阔的,宽敞的 | |
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vent
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n.通风口,排放口;开衩;vt.表达,发泄 | |
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utterly
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adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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inquiry
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n.打听,询问,调查,查问 | |
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unfamiliar
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adj.陌生的,不熟悉的 | |
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delightful
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adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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witty
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adj.机智的,风趣的 | |
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portentous
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adj.不祥的,可怕的,装腔作势的 | |
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funereal
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adj.悲哀的;送葬的 | |
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precluded
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v.阻止( preclude的过去式和过去分词 );排除;妨碍;使…行不通 | |
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slabs
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n.厚板,平板,厚片( slab的名词复数 );厚胶片 | |
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stiffened
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加强的 | |
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refreshments
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n.点心,便餐;(会议后的)简单茶点招 待 | |
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broaching
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n.拉削;推削;铰孔;扩孔v.谈起( broach的现在分词 );打开并开始用;用凿子扩大(或修光);(在桶上)钻孔取液体 | |
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joyous
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adj.充满快乐的;令人高兴的 | |
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flaunting
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adj.招摇的,扬扬得意的,夸耀的v.炫耀,夸耀( flaunt的现在分词 );有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
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miller
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n.磨坊主 | |
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lumber
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n.木材,木料;v.以破旧东西堆满;伐木;笨重移动 | |
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derived
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vi.起源;由来;衍生;导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 );(从…中)得到获得;源于;(从…中)提取 | |
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relentlessly
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adv.不屈不挠地;残酷地;不间断 | |
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acting
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n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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determined
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adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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gallantly
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adv. 漂亮地,勇敢地,献殷勤地 | |
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gallant
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adj.英勇的,豪侠的;(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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discursively
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adv.东拉西扯地,推论地 | |
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perfectly
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adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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missionary
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adj.教会的,传教(士)的;n.传教士 | |
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frivolity
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n.轻松的乐事,兴高采烈;轻浮的举止 | |
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precipitately
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adv.猛进地 | |
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precursor
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n.先驱者;前辈;前任;预兆;先兆 | |
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immediate
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adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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prop
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vt.支撑;n.支柱,支撑物;支持者,靠山 | |
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implements
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n.工具( implement的名词复数 );家具;手段;[法律]履行(契约等)v.实现( implement的第三人称单数 );执行;贯彻;使生效 | |
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contented
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adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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fixed
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adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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conspicuously
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ad.明显地,惹人注目地 | |
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brass
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n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器 | |
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protuberant
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adj.突出的,隆起的 | |
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bosom
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n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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expedient
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adj.有用的,有利的;n.紧急的办法,权宜之计 | |
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flare
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v.闪耀,闪烁;n.潮红;突发 | |
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consort
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v.相伴;结交 | |
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remains
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n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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apprised
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v.告知,通知( apprise的过去式和过去分词 );评价 | |
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shrouded
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v.隐瞒( shroud的过去式和过去分词 );保密 | |
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pretence
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n.假装,作假;借口,口实;虚伪;虚饰 | |
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nervously
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adv.神情激动地,不安地 | |
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caption
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n.说明,字幕,标题;v.加上标题,加上说明 | |
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perspicacity
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n. 敏锐, 聪明, 洞察力 | |
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lessen
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vt.减少,减轻;缩小 | |
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temerity
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n.鲁莽,冒失 | |
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depreciation
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n.价值低落,贬值,蔑视,贬低 | |
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instinctive
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adj.(出于)本能的;直觉的;(出于)天性的 | |
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stationery
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n.文具;(配套的)信笺信封 | |
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proprietor
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n.所有人;业主;经营者 | |
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abeyance
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n.搁置,缓办,中止,产权未定 | |
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oration
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n.演说,致辞,叙述法 | |
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cemetery
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n.坟墓,墓地,坟场 | |
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boughs
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大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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mounds
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土堆,土丘( mound的名词复数 ); 一大堆 | |
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touching
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adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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appreciation
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n.评价;欣赏;感谢;领会,理解;价格上涨 | |
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affected
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adj.不自然的,假装的 | |
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dexterity
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n.(手的)灵巧,灵活 | |
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remonstrance
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n抗议,抱怨 | |
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obduracy
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n.冷酷无情,顽固,执拗 | |
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sputtering
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n.反应溅射法;飞溅;阴极真空喷镀;喷射v.唾沫飞溅( sputter的现在分词 );发劈啪声;喷出;飞溅出 | |
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rehearsals
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n.练习( rehearsal的名词复数 );排练;复述;重复 | |
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complacently
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adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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approbation
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n.称赞;认可 | |
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Christian
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adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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shingle
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n.木瓦板;小招牌(尤指医生或律师挂的营业招牌);v.用木瓦板盖(屋顶);把(女子头发)剪短 | |
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standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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commendable
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adj.值得称赞的 | |
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ravened
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v.掠夺(raven的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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CHAPTER IV
下一章:
CHAPTER VI
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