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Pigs is Pigs
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Mike Flannery, the Westcote agent of the Interurban Express Company, leaned over the counter of the express office and shook his fist. Mr. Morehouse, angry and red, stood on the other side of the counter, trembling with rage. The argument had been long and heated, and at last Mr. Morehouse had talked himself speechless. The cause of the trouble stood on the counter between the two men. It was a soap box across the top of which were nailed a number of strips, forming a rough but serviceable cage. In it two spotted1 guinea-pigs were greedily eating lettuce2 leaves.
“Do as you loike, then!” shouted Flannery, “pay for thim an' take thim, or don't pay for thim and leave thim be. Rules is rules, Misther Morehouse, an' Mike Flannery's not goin' to be called down fer breakin' of thim.”
“But, you everlastingly3 stupid idiot!” shouted Mr. Morehouse, madly shaking a flimsy printed book beneath the agent's nose, “can't you read it here-in your own plain printed rates? 'Pets, domestic, Franklin to Westcote, if properly boxed, twenty-five cents each.'” He threw the book on the counter in disgust. “What more do you want? Aren't they pets? Aren't they domestic? Aren't they properly boxed? What?”
Suddenly he turned to Flannery, and forcing his voice to an artificial calmness spoke7 slowly but with intense sarcasm8.
“Pets,” he said “P-e-t-s! Twenty-five cents each. There are two of them. One! Two! Two times twenty-five are fifty! Can you understand that? I offer you fifty cents.”
Flannery reached for the book. He ran his hand through the pages and stopped at page sixty four.
“An' I don't take fifty cints,” he whispered in mockery. “Here's the rule for ut. 'Whin the agint be in anny doubt regardin' which of two rates applies to a shipment, he shall charge the larger. The con-sign-ey may file a claim for the overcharge.' In this case, Misther Morehouse, I be in doubt. Pets thim animals may be, an' domestic they be, but pigs I'm blame sure they do be, an' me rules says plain as the nose on yer face, 'Pigs Franklin to Westcote, thirty cints each.' An' Mister Morehouse, by me arithmetical knowledge two times thurty comes to sixty cints.”
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1
spotted
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adj.有斑点的,斑纹的,弄污了的 | |
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2
lettuce
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n.莴苣;生菜 | |
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3
everlastingly
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永久地,持久地 | |
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4
wan
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(wide area network)广域网 | |
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5
forth
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adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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ferociously
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野蛮地,残忍地 | |
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7
spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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8
sarcasm
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n.讥讽,讽刺,嘲弄,反话 (adj.sarcastic) | |
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9
savagely
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adv. 野蛮地,残酷地 | |
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10
outrage
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n.暴行,侮辱,愤怒;vt.凌辱,激怒 | |
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11
guilt
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n.犯罪;内疚;过失,罪责 | |
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12
soothing
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adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的 | |
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13
avenger
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n. 复仇者 | |
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14
meekly
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adv.温顺地,逆来顺受地 | |
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15
triumphant
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adj.胜利的,成功的;狂欢的,喜悦的 | |
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16
consignment
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n.寄售;发货;委托;交运货物 | |
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17
tariff
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n.关税,税率;(旅馆、饭店等)价目表,收费表 | |
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18
encyclopedia
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n.百科全书 | |
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19
systematically
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adv.有系统地 | |
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20
pertinent
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adj.恰当的;贴切的;中肯的;有关的;相干的 | |
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21
stenographer
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n.速记员 | |
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22
poised
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a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
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23
brass
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n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器 | |
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hearty
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adj.热情友好的;衷心的;尽情的,纵情的 | |
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consignee
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n.受托者,收件人,代销人;承销人;收货人 | |
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26
provender
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n.刍草;秣料 | |
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27
transit
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n.经过,运输;vt.穿越,旋转;vi.越过 | |
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wagon
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n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车 | |
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gasped
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v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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specimens
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n.样品( specimen的名词复数 );范例;(化验的)抽样;某种类型的人 | |
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penetrated
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adj. 击穿的,鞭辟入里的 动词penetrate的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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32
devoted
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adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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33
feverish
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adj.发烧的,狂热的,兴奋的 | |
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34
intensity
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n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
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prolific
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adj.丰富的,大量的;多产的,富有创造力的 | |
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notation
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n.记号法,表示法,注释;[计算机]记法 | |
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audit
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v.审计;查帐;核对;旁听 | |
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herding
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中畜群 | |
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authorization
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n.授权,委任状 | |
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inquiries
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n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 );疑问;探究;打听 | |
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cracker
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n.(无甜味的)薄脆饼干 | |
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feverishly
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adv. 兴奋地 | |
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warehouse
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n.仓库;vt.存入仓库 | |
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inspectors
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n.检查员( inspector的名词复数 );(英国公共汽车或火车上的)查票员;(警察)巡官;检阅官 | |
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inspector
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n.检查员,监察员,视察员 | |
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standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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scoop
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n.铲子,舀取,独家新闻;v.汲取,舀取,抢先登出 | |
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48
winding
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n.绕,缠,绕组,线圈 | |
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noted
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adj.著名的,知名的 | |
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