The Last of What I Am
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PART 2 CHAPTER 37

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PART 2 CHAPTER
37
E ARLY ON, I DEVELOPED THE HABIT OF CONVERSING1 WITH JOHN BIBB. He dwelled there with
me in Augusta. I saw him every day. The mornings were the worst, when cobwebs of sleep still
clung to my wits. He was present when I dashed icy water on my face from the basin and peered
into the wavy2 glass framed on the wall above. His flat, dead eyes stared back, sweeping3 me with
blame. To shorten the time I spent before the damned mirror, I grew a beard.
One day, after I’d been particularly surly to Pa at breakfast, Mary materialized before me on
the porch, anger alight in her blue eyes. “What got into you this morning?”
“Nothing. I’m just fine.”
“You’re not fine. Every day you sit in that rocking chair where you mutter to yourself—
huddled4 in a blanket as though it was winter. Have you given any thought to helping5 Pa at the
mill?” She paused. “Maybe if you busied your hands, your bleak6 mood might lift. Law, that
snapping at Ma and Pa needs to stop.”
I thought how simple it was for her to be critical. Hands chalky with flour, she brushed wisps
of auburn hair from her eyes with the back of her wrists as she waited for some response. She
and Tish were baking bread that morning. What could she possibly know about the hell I’d been
through? Folks complain that old scars often act up when it rains, but these invisible ones act up
regardless of weather.
“Why don’t you just go back in the house and mind your own business?” I said.
She stomped7 from the porch, slamming the door, and rejoined Tish in the kitchen. Her
indignant voice floated toward me as I continued rocking. Reluctantly, I conceded that maybe
she was right. Pa could use help, and I certainly couldn’t be any more

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1 conversing 20d0ea6fb9188abfa59f3db682925246     
v.交谈，谈话( converse的现在分词 )
参考例句：
  • I find that conversing with her is quite difficult. 和她交谈实在很困难。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • They were conversing in the parlor. 他们正在客厅谈话。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
2 wavy 7gFyX     
adj.有波浪的，多浪的，波浪状的，波动的，不稳定的
参考例句：
  • She drew a wavy line under the word.她在这个词的下面画了一条波纹线。
  • His wavy hair was too long and flopped just beneath his brow.他的波浪式头发太长了，正好垂在他的眉毛下。
3 sweeping ihCzZ4     
adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的
参考例句：
  • The citizens voted for sweeping reforms.公民投票支持全面的改革。
  • Can you hear the wind sweeping through the branches?你能听到风掠过树枝的声音吗？
4 huddled 39b87f9ca342d61fe478b5034beb4139     
挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式）
参考例句：
  • We huddled together for warmth. 我们挤在一块取暖。
  • We huddled together to keep warm. 我们挤在一起来保暖。
5 helping 2rGzDc     
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的
参考例句：
  • The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
  • By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。
6 bleak gtWz5     
adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的
参考例句：
  • They showed me into a bleak waiting room.他们引我来到一间阴冷的会客室。
  • The company's prospects look pretty bleak.这家公司的前景异常暗淡。
7 stomped 0884b29fb612cae5a9e4eb0d1a257b4a     
v.跺脚，践踏，重踏( stomp的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • She stomped angrily out of the office. 她怒气冲冲，重步走出办公室。
  • She slammed the door and stomped (off) out of the house. 她砰的一声关上了门，暮暮地走出了屋了。 来自辞典例句
8 miserable g18yk     
adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的
参考例句：
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
9 squandering 2145a6d587f3ec891a8ca0e1514f9735     
v.（指钱，财产等）浪费，乱花( squander的现在分词 )
参考例句：
  • You're faced with ending it all, of squandering what was given. 把到手的东西就这样随随便便弄掉。 来自辞典例句
  • I see all this potential And I see squandering. 你们的潜力都被浪费了。 来自互联网
10 guilt 9e6xr     
n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责
参考例句：
  • She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
  • Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。
11 steadily Qukw6     
adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地
参考例句：
  • The scope of man's use of natural resources will steadily grow.人类利用自然资源的广度将日益扩大。
  • Our educational reform was steadily led onto the correct path.我们的教学改革慢慢上轨道了。
12 creek 3orzL     
n.小溪，小河，小湾
参考例句：
  • He sprang through the creek.他跳过小河。
  • People sunbathe in the nude on the rocks above the creek.人们在露出小溪的岩石上裸体晒日光浴。
13 scoured ed55d3b2cb4a5db1e4eb0ed55b922516     
走遍（某地）搜寻（人或物）( scour的过去式和过去分词 )； （用力）刷； 擦净； 擦亮
参考例句：
  • We scoured the area for somewhere to pitch our tent. 我们四处查看，想找一个搭帐篷的地方。
  • The torrents scoured out a channel down the hill side. 急流沿着山腰冲刷出一条水沟。
14 wagon XhUwP     
n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车
参考例句：
  • We have to fork the hay into the wagon.我们得把干草用叉子挑进马车里去。
  • The muddy road bemired the wagon.马车陷入了泥泞的道路。
15 puffed 72b91de7f5a5b3f6bdcac0d30e24f8ca     
adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧
参考例句：
  • He lit a cigarette and puffed at it furiously. 他点燃了一支香烟，狂吸了几口。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He felt grown-up, puffed up with self-importance. 他觉得长大了，便自以为了不起。 来自《简明英汉词典》
16 calf ecLye     
n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮
参考例句：
  • The cow slinked its calf.那头母牛早产了一头小牛犊。
  • The calf blared for its mother.牛犊哞哞地高声叫喊找妈妈。
17 barter bu2zJ     
n.物物交换，以货易货，实物交易
参考例句：
  • Chickens,goats and rabbits were offered for barter at the bazaar.在集市上，鸡、山羊和兔子被摆出来作物物交换之用。
  • They have arranged food imports on a barter basis.他们以易货贸易的方式安排食品进口。
18 mighty YDWxl     
adj.强有力的；巨大的
参考例句：
  • A mighty force was about to break loose.一股巨大的力量即将迸发而出。
  • The mighty iceberg came into view.巨大的冰山出现在眼前。
19 pointed Il8zB4     
adj.尖的，直截了当的
参考例句：
  • He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
  • She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。
20 catching cwVztY     
adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住
参考例句：
  • There are those who think eczema is catching.有人就是认为湿疹会传染。
  • Enthusiasm is very catching.热情非常富有感染力。
21 spoke XryyC     
n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说
参考例句：
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
22 poke 5SFz9     
n.刺，戳，袋；vt.拨开，刺，戳；vi.戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢
参考例句：
  • We never thought she would poke her nose into this.想不到她会插上一手。
  • Don't poke fun at me.别拿我凑趣儿。
23 hygiene Kchzr     
n.健康法，卫生学 （a.hygienic）
参考例句：
  • Their course of study includes elementary hygiene and medical theory.他们的课程包括基础卫生学和医疗知识。
  • He's going to give us a lecture on public hygiene.他要给我们作关于公共卫生方面的报告。
24 greasy a64yV     
adj. 多脂的，油脂的
参考例句：
  • He bought a heavy-duty cleanser to clean his greasy oven.昨天他买了强力清洁剂来清洗油污的炉子。
  • You loathe the smell of greasy food when you are seasick.当你晕船时，你会厌恶油腻的气味。
25 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过
参考例句：
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
26 parlor v4MzU     
n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅
参考例句：
  • She was lying on a small settee in the parlor.她躺在客厅的一张小长椅上。
  • Is there a pizza parlor in the neighborhood?附近有没有比萨店？
27 distressing cuTz30     
a.使人痛苦的
参考例句：
  • All who saw the distressing scene revolted against it. 所有看到这种悲惨景象的人都对此感到难过。
  • It is distressing to see food being wasted like this. 这样浪费粮食令人痛心。
28 cemetery ur9z7     
n.坟墓，墓地，坟场
参考例句：
  • He was buried in the cemetery.他被葬在公墓。
  • His remains were interred in the cemetery.他的遗体葬在墓地。
29 picket B2kzl     
n.纠察队；警戒哨；v.设置纠察线；布置警卫
参考例句：
  • They marched to the factory and formed a picket.他们向工厂前进,并组成了纠察队。
  • Some of the union members did not want to picket.工会的一些会员不想担任罢工纠察员。
30 apothecary iMcyM     
n.药剂师
参考例句：
  • I am an apothecary of that hospital.我是那家医院的一名药剂师。
  • He was the usual cut and dry apothecary,of no particular age and color.他是那种再普通不过的行医者，说不出多大年纪，相貌也没什么值得一提的。
31 gnaw E6kyH     
v.不断地啃、咬；使苦恼，折磨
参考例句：
  • Dogs like to gnaw on a bone.狗爱啃骨头。
  • A rat can gnaw a hole through wood.老鼠能啃穿木头。
32 gnawed 85643b5b73cc74a08138f4534f41cef1     
咬( gnaw的过去式和过去分词 )； （长时间） 折磨某人； （使）苦恼； （长时间）危害某事物
参考例句：
  • His attitude towards her gnawed away at her confidence. 他对她的态度一直在削弱她的自尊心。
  • The root of this dead tree has been gnawed away by ants. 这棵死树根被蚂蚁唼了。
33 solitary 7FUyx     
adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士
参考例句：
  • I am rather fond of a solitary stroll in the country.我颇喜欢在乡间独自徜徉。
  • The castle rises in solitary splendour on the fringe of the desert.这座城堡巍然耸立在沙漠的边际，显得十分壮美。
34 boredom ynByy     
n.厌烦，厌倦，乏味，无聊
参考例句：
  • Unemployment can drive you mad with boredom.失业会让你无聊得发疯。
  • A walkman can relieve the boredom of running.跑步时带着随身听就不那么乏味了。
35 tightened bd3d8363419d9ff838bae0ba51722ee9     
收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）变紧； （使）绷紧； 加紧
参考例句：
  • The rope holding the boat suddenly tightened and broke. 系船的绳子突然绷断了。
  • His index finger tightened on the trigger but then relaxed again. 他的食指扣住扳机，然后又松开了。
36 whittling 9677e701372dc3e65ea66c983d6b865f     
v.切，削（木头），使逐渐变小( whittle的现在分词 )
参考例句：
  • Inflation has been whittling away their savings. 通货膨胀使他们的积蓄不断减少。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He is whittling down the branch with a knife to make a handle for his hoe. 他在用刀削树枝做一把锄头柄。 来自《简明英汉词典》
37 scraps 737e4017931b7285cdd1fa3eb9dd77a3     
油渣
参考例句：
  • Don't litter up the floor with scraps of paper. 不要在地板上乱扔纸屑。
  • A patchwork quilt is a good way of using up scraps of material. 做杂拼花布棉被是利用零碎布料的好办法。
38 grove v5wyy     
n.林子，小树林，园林
参考例句：
  • On top of the hill was a grove of tall trees.山顶上一片高大的树林。
  • The scent of lemons filled the grove.柠檬香味充满了小树林。
39 maple BBpxj     
n.槭树，枫树，槭木
参考例句：
  • Maple sugar is made from the sap of maple trees.枫糖是由枫树的树液制成的。
  • The maple leaves are tinge with autumn red.枫叶染上了秋天的红色。
40 ambling 83ee3bf75d76f7573f42fe45eaa3d174     
v.（马）缓行( amble的现在分词 )；从容地走，漫步
参考例句：
  • At that moment the tiger commenced ambling towards his victim. 就在这时，老虎开始缓步向它的猎物走去。 来自辞典例句
  • Implied meaning: drinking, ambling, the people who make golf all relatively succeed. 寓意：喝酒，赌博，打高尔夫的人都比较成功。 来自互联网
41 lone Q0cxL     
adj.孤寂的，单独的；唯一的
参考例句：
  • A lone sea gull flew across the sky.一只孤独的海鸥在空中飞过。
  • She could see a lone figure on the deserted beach.她在空旷的海滩上能看到一个孤独的身影。
42 deter DmZzU     
vt.阻止，使不敢，吓住
参考例句：
  • Failure did not deter us from trying it again.失败并没有能阻挡我们再次进行试验。
  • Dogs can deter unwelcome intruders.狗能够阻拦不受欢迎的闯入者。
43 seasonal LZ1xE     
adj.季节的，季节性的
参考例句：
  • The town relies on the seasonal tourist industry for jobs.这个城镇依靠季节性旅游业提供就业机会。
  • The hors d'oeuvre is seasonal vegetables.餐前小吃是应时蔬菜。
44 lull E8hz7     
v.使安静，使入睡，缓和，哄骗；n.暂停，间歇
参考例句：
  • The drug put Simpson in a lull for thirty minutes.药物使辛普森安静了30分钟。
  • Ground fighting flared up again after a two-week lull.经过两个星期的平静之后，地面战又突然爆发了。
45 shunned bcd48f012d0befb1223f8e35a7516d0e     
v.避开，回避，避免( shun的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • She was shunned by her family when she remarried. 她再婚后家里人都躲着她。
  • He was a shy man who shunned all publicity. 他是个怕羞的人，总是避开一切引人注目的活动。 来自《简明英汉词典》
46 intrudes 3fd55f59bc5bc27ecdb23a5321933d8f     
v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的第三人称单数 )；把…强加于
参考例句：
  • An outraged movie like Stone's intrudes upon a semipermanent mourning. 像斯通这种忿忿不平的电影侵犯到美国人近乎永恒的哀悼。 来自互联网
  • He intrudes upon our hospitality. 他硬要我们款待他。 来自互联网
47 blasphemy noyyW     
n.亵渎，渎神
参考例句：
  • His writings were branded as obscene and a blasphemy against God.他的著作被定为淫秽作品，是对上帝的亵渎。
  • You have just heard his blasphemy!你刚刚听到他那番亵渎上帝的话了！
48 doff gkAzs     
v.脱，丢弃，废除
参考例句：
  • The peasants doff their hats.农民脱下了他们的帽子。
  • When he received me informally,he doffed the uniform of state and always wore a long chinese coat.当他非正式接见我的时候，他不穿礼服而总是穿中国长袍。
49 behold jQKy9     
v.看，注视，看到
参考例句：
  • The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
  • The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。
50 shudder JEqy8     
v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动
参考例句：
  • The sight of the coffin sent a shudder through him.看到那副棺材，他浑身一阵战栗。
  • We all shudder at the thought of the dreadful dirty place.我们一想到那可怕的肮脏地方就浑身战惊。
51 spine lFQzT     
n.脊柱，脊椎；(动植物的)刺；书脊
参考例句：
  • He broke his spine in a fall from a horse.他从马上跌下摔断了脊梁骨。
  • His spine developed a slight curve.他的脊柱有点弯曲。
52 cumbersome Mnizj     
adj.笨重的，不便携带的
参考例句：
  • Although the machine looks cumbersome,it is actually easy to use.尽管这台机器看上去很笨重，操作起来却很容易。
  • The furniture is too cumbersome to move.家具太笨，搬起来很不方便。
53 clemency qVnyV     
n.温和，仁慈，宽厚
参考例句：
  • The question of clemency would rest with the King.宽大处理问题，将由国王决定。
  • They addressed to the governor a plea for clemency.他们向州长提交了宽刑的申辨书。
54 compassion 3q2zZ     
n.同情，怜悯
参考例句：
  • He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
  • Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。
55 almighty dzhz1h     
adj.全能的，万能的；很大的，很强的
参考例句：
  • Those rebels did not really challenge Gods almighty power.这些叛徒没有对上帝的全能力量表示怀疑。
  • It's almighty cold outside.外面冷得要命。
56 cub ny5xt     
n.幼兽，年轻无经验的人
参考例句：
  • The lion cub's mother was hunting for what she needs. 这只幼师的母亲正在捕猎。
  • The cub licked the milk from its mother's breast. 这头幼兽吸吮着它妈妈的奶水。
57 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地
参考例句：
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
58 gnawing GsWzWk     
a.痛苦的，折磨人的
参考例句：
  • The dog was gnawing a bone. 那狗在啃骨头。
  • These doubts had been gnawing at him for some time. 这些疑虑已经折磨他一段时间了。
59 abruptly iINyJ     
adv.突然地，出其不意地
参考例句：
  • He gestured abruptly for Virginia to get in the car.他粗鲁地示意弗吉尼亚上车。
  • I was abruptly notified that a half-hour speech was expected of me.我突然被通知要讲半个小时的话。
60 leniency I9EzM     
n.宽大（不严厉）
参考例句：
  • udges are advised to show greater leniency towards first-time offenders.建议法官对初犯者宽大处理。
  • Police offer leniency to criminals in return for information.警方给罪犯宽大处理以换取情报。
61 judgment e3xxC     
n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见
参考例句：
  • The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
  • He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。
62 lurked 99c07b25739e85120035a70192a2ec98     
vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的过去式与过去分词形式）
参考例句：
  • The murderers lurked behind the trees. 谋杀者埋伏在树后。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Treachery lurked behind his smooth manners. 他圆滑姿态的后面潜伏着奸计。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
63 grimaced 5f3f78dc835e71266975d0c281dceae8     
v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • He grimaced at the bitter taste. 他一尝那苦味，做了个怪相。
  • She grimaced at the sight of all the work. 她一看到这么多的工作就皱起了眉头。 来自《简明英汉词典》

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