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THERE CAN BE MIRACLES
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THERE CAN BE MIRACLES
When I was six years old, my mother moved my brother and me into a tiny, nondescripthouse in Northport, Long Island. It sat sadly atop a stack of long, winding1 concrete steps.
The dull little structure had a few tiny rooms running along either side of a steep,creaky staircase, which led up to even smaller rooms. My mother was often working orout at night, so Morgan was left to babysit me. He had no skills to look after a little girl.
He would leave me alone and go run wild with his teenage friends. One night, while leftalone, I was watching a special on 20/20 about children being kidnapped — totallyinappropriate for a six-year-old. And it so happened that at that moment, some kids in theneighborhood decided2 to throw rocks at the window. Their voices broke through the darknight, chanting, “Mariah, we’re gonna get you!” I was terrified by the news, by the kids,by the night, by the house, by my absolute aloneness.
I wanted my brother to love me. I was impressed by his strong energy, but it alsoscared me. This little house couldn’t possibly bear the weight of all of our pain and fear—especially my brother’s. It was such a raw time. I was a scared little girl, my mother wasprofoundly heartbroken, and my brother—well, let’s just say he was more than simply anangry teen, especially in high school. He’d outgrown3 anger by middle school and hadgraduated to full-on rage. As a young teen, my brother was bursting with creative andathletic promise. But earlier in his life he had been bullied4 and beat up for having adisability and being a mixed-race kid. The visible difference he wore on his skin alwaysdistanced him from the white boys in Long Island and made him a target. Children can bemean, but when ordinary meanness is combined with racism5, it takes on a peculiarbrutality, one very often sanctioned by (and learned from) adults. My brother most likelycaught some hell from the Black kids too. I’m sure his distance from their kind ofdetectable Blackness, the kind that gets you roughed up by the cops for nothing, stirred upa resentment6
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1
winding
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n.绕,缠,绕组,线圈 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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outgrown
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长[发展] 得超过(某物)的范围( outgrow的过去分词 ); 长[发展]得不能再要(某物); 长得比…快; 生长速度超过 | |
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bullied
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adj.被欺负了v.恐吓,威逼( bully的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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5
racism
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n.民族主义;种族歧视(意识) | |
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resentment
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n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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demons
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n.恶人( demon的名词复数 );恶魔;精力过人的人;邪念 | |
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outrage
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n.暴行,侮辱,愤怒;vt.凌辱,激怒 | |
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scattered
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adj.分散的,稀疏的;散步的;疏疏落落的 | |
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outdated
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adj.旧式的,落伍的,过时的;v.使过时 | |
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inadequate
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adj.(for,to)不充足的,不适当的 | |
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catastrophe
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n.大灾难,大祸 | |
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tuned
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adj.调谐的,已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 );调整;(给收音机、电视等)调谐;使协调 | |
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blur
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n.模糊不清的事物;vt.使模糊,使看不清楚 | |
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punctuated
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v.(在文字中)加标点符号,加标点( punctuate的过去式和过去分词 );不时打断某事物 | |
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escalated
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v.(使)逐步升级( escalate的过去式和过去分词 );(使)逐步扩大;(使)更高;(使)更大 | |
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hurled
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v.猛投,用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 );大声叫骂 | |
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forth
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adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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crossfire
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n.被卷进争端 | |
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mere
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adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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electrified
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v.使电气化( electrify的过去式和过去分词 );使兴奋 | |
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stiffened
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加强的 | |
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fixed
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adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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disarm
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v.解除武装,回复平常的编制,缓和 | |
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rigid
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adj.严格的,死板的;刚硬的,僵硬的 | |
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eternity
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n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
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collapsed
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adj.倒塌的 | |
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crumpled
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adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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stomped
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v.跺脚,践踏,重踏( stomp的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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eerie
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adj.怪诞的;奇异的;可怕的;胆怯的 | |
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scurried
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v.急匆匆地走( scurry的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gush
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v.喷,涌;滔滔不绝(说话);n.喷,涌流;迸发 | |
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realization
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n.实现;认识到,深刻了解 | |
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CLOSE MY EYES
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WHEN CHRISTMAS COMES
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