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PRINCESS. PRISONER.
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PRINCESS. PRISONER.
Once, I was a prisoner
Lost inside myself
With the world surrounding me
—“I Am Free”
Once upon a time, I lived in a very big house named Storybook Manor1. And in it were bigdiamonds and big closets full of the most spectacular gowns and bejeweled slippers2. Butalso within its walls was an inescapable emptiness, bigger than everything else inside, thatalmost swallowed me whole. This was no place for Cinderella.
If there were a fairy tale that could come close to describing my life, it would be “TheThree Little Pigs.” My childhood was a series of fragile, unstable3 houses, one after theother, where inevitably4 the Big Bad Wolf, my troubled brother, would huff and puff5 andblow it all down. I never felt safe. I never was safe. His rage was unpredictable; I neverknew when it would come, or who or what it would devour6. What I did know was that Iwas truly on my own, out there in the wild woods of the world. I knew that if I was evergoing to find a safe place, I would have to make it myself.
I remember the very first time I ever felt I was in something like a safe place. I wasliving on my own in New York City, in a one-room studio apartment on the tenth floorwith a spectacular view. The building was called Chelsea Court. I loved the name of thatbuilding: it had such a regal ring to it. I could see the Empire State Building from myapartment window. My little apartment—the first that was all mine.
I had just gotten my very first artist advance. It was five thousand dollars, which is anumber I’ll never forget. Five thousand dollars was more money than I’d ever seen atonce, let alone had to call my own and spend as I wished. As soon as I got that advance, Igot my own apartment. I could finally pay my own rent! No more living in nooks andcrannies, no more sleeping on floors or sharing cramped7 bathrooms with four or five othergirls.
The first thing I did was buy my own new little couch with four stable legs. SometimesI would just stroke the
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1
manor
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n.庄园,领地 | |
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2
slippers
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n. 拖鞋 | |
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3
unstable
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adj.不稳定的,易变的 | |
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inevitably
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adv.不可避免地;必然发生地 | |
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puff
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n.一口(气);一阵(风);v.喷气,喘气 | |
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devour
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v.吞没;贪婪地注视或谛听,贪读;使着迷 | |
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cramped
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a.狭窄的 | |
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fabric
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n.织物,织品,布;构造,结构,组织 | |
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mattress
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n.床垫,床褥 | |
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uncertainty
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n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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trauma
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n.外伤,精神创伤 | |
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traumas
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n.心灵创伤( trauma的名词复数 );损伤;痛苦经历;挫折 | |
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chaos
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n.混乱,无秩序 | |
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ferociously
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野蛮地,残忍地 | |
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influential
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adj.有影响的,有权势的 | |
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validated
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v.证实( validate的过去式和过去分词 );确证;使生效;使有法律效力 | |
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vocals
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(乐曲中的)歌唱部份,声乐部份( vocal的名词复数 ) | |
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overtures
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n.主动的表示,提议;(向某人做出的)友好表示、姿态或提议( overture的名词复数 );(歌剧、芭蕾舞、音乐剧等的)序曲,前奏曲 | |
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underneath
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adj.在...下面,在...底下;adv.在下面 | |
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infamous
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adj.声名狼藉的,臭名昭著的,邪恶的 | |
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relinquishment
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n.放弃;撤回;停止 | |
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captivity
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n.囚禁;被俘;束缚 | |
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erase
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v.擦掉;消除某事物的痕迹 | |
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farmhouse
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n.农场住宅(尤指主要住房) | |
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sprawling
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adj.蔓生的,不规则地伸展的v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的现在分词 );蔓延;杂乱无序地拓展;四肢伸展坐着(或躺着) | |
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stunning
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adj.极好的;使人晕倒的 | |
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majestic
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adj.雄伟的,壮丽的,庄严的,威严的,崇高的 | |
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recording
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n.录音,记录 | |
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undertaking
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n.保证,许诺,事业 | |
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uprooted
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v.把(某物)连根拔起( uproot的过去式和过去分词 );根除;赶走;把…赶出家园 | |
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precarious
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adj.不安定的,靠不住的;根据不足的 | |
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fully
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adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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humiliation
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n.羞辱 | |
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debut
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n.首次演出,初次露面 | |
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mansion
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n.大厦,大楼;宅第 | |
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obsession
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n.困扰,无法摆脱的思想(或情感) | |
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glamorous
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adj.富有魅力的;美丽动人的;令人向往的 | |
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glossy
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adj.平滑的;有光泽的 | |
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pristine
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adj.原来的,古时的,原始的,纯净的,无垢的 | |
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spacious
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adj.广阔的,宽敞的 | |
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quarries
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n.(采)石场( quarry的名词复数 );猎物(指鸟,兽等);方形石;(格窗等的)方形玻璃v.从采石场采得( quarry的第三人称单数 );从(书本等中)努力发掘(资料等);在采石场采石 | |
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rustic
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adj.乡村的,有乡村特色的;n.乡下人,乡巴佬 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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everlasting
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adj.永恒的,持久的,无止境的 | |
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ballroom
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n.舞厅 | |
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dismal
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adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的 | |
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accomplishment
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n.完成,成就,(pl.)造诣,技能 | |
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quaint
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adj.古雅的,离奇有趣的,奇怪的 | |
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fiery
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adj.燃烧着的,火红的;暴躁的;激烈的 | |
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grandiose
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adj.宏伟的,宏大的,堂皇的,铺张的 | |
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irony
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n.反语,冷嘲;具有讽刺意味的事,嘲弄 | |
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proximity
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n.接近,邻近 | |
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peculiar
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adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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determined
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adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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radius
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n.半径,半径范围;有效航程,范围,界限 | |
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intentionally
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ad.故意地,有意地 | |
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cozy
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adj.亲如手足的,密切的,暖和舒服的 | |
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soothing
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adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的 | |
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fixtures
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(房屋等的)固定装置( fixture的名词复数 ); 如(浴盆、抽水马桶); 固定在某位置的人或物; (定期定点举行的)体育活动 | |
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crests
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v.到达山顶(或浪峰)( crest的第三人称单数 );到达洪峰,达到顶点 | |
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ascending
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adj.上升的,向上的 | |
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tuned
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adj.调谐的,已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 );调整;(给收音机、电视等)调谐;使协调 | |
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testimony
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n.证词;见证,证明 | |
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aroma
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n.香气,芬芳,芳香 | |
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brewing
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n. 酿造, 一次酿造的量 动词brew的现在分词形式 | |
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doorway
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n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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squealing
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v.长声尖叫,用长而尖锐的声音说( squeal的现在分词 ) | |
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filth
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n.肮脏,污物,污秽;淫猥 | |
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parlor
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n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅 | |
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solace
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n.安慰;v.使快乐;vt.安慰(物),缓和 | |
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solitude
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n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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reprieve
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n.暂缓执行(死刑);v.缓期执行;给…带来缓解 | |
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fortress
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n.堡垒,防御工事 | |
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specifications
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n.规格;载明;详述;(产品等的)说明书;说明书( specification的名词复数 );详细的计划书;载明;详述 | |
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liberating
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解放,释放( liberate的现在分词 ) | |
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bartering
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v.作物物交换,以货换货( barter的现在分词 ) | |
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outfitted
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v.装备,配置设备,供给服装( outfit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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