Twenty-four
There isn’t really very much to say after that. I mean, things came to a cli-max there. One forgets, I suppose, that there can’t be anything better tofollow—that you’ve had it all. I just sat there for a long time. I don’t knowwhen They came. I don’t know whether They all came at once… Theycouldn’t have been there all along because they wouldn’t have let me killGreta. I noticed that God was there first. I don’t mean God, I’m confused, Imean Major Phillpot. I’d liked him always, he’d been nice to me. He wasrather like God in some ways, I think. I mean if God had been a human be-ing and not something supernatural—up in the sky somewhere. He was avery fair man, very fair and kind. He looked after things and people. Triedto do his best for people.
I don’t know how much he’d known about me. I remembered the curi-ous way he looked at me that morning in the sale room when he said thatI was “fey.” I wonder why he thought I happened to be fey that day.
Then when we were there with that little crumpled¹ heap on the groundthat was Ellie in her riding habit…I wonder if he knew then or had someidea that I’d had something to do with it.
After Greta’s death, as I say I just sat there in my chair, staring down atmy champagne² glass. It was empty. Everything was very empty, veryempty indeed. There was just one light that we’d switched on, Greta and I,but it was in the corner. It didn’t give much light and the sun—I think thesun must have set a long time ago. I just sat there and wondered what wasgoing to happen next with a sort of dull wonder.
Then, I suppose, the people began coming. Perhaps a lot of people cameat once. They came very quietly, if so, or else I wasn’t hearing or noticinganybody.
Perhaps if Santonix had been there he would have told me what to do.
Santonix was dead. He’d gone a different way to my way, so he wouldn’tbe any help. Nobody really would be any help.
After a bit I noticed Dr. Shaw. He was so quiet I hardly knew he wasthere at first. He was sitting quite near me, just waiting for something.
After a while I thought he was waiting for me to speak. I said to him:
“I’ve come home.”
There were one or two other people moving somewhere behind him.
They seemed to be waiting, to be waiting for something that he was goingto do.
“Greta’s dead,” I said. “I killed her. I expect you’d better take the bodyaway, hadn’t you?”
Somebody somewhere let off a flash bulb. It must have been a policephotographer photographing the body. Dr. Shaw turned his head and saidsharply:

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