Chapter 6 Portrait Of A Lady
I
‘You look very nice and brown, dear,’ said Aunt Matilda, surveying himappreciatively. ‘That’s Malaya, I suppose. If it was Malaya you went to? Orwas it Siam or Thailand? They change the names of all these places andreally it makes it very difficult. Anyway, it wasn’t Vietnam, was it? Youknow, I don’t like the sound of Vietnam at all. It’s all very confusing, NorthVietnam and South Vietnam and the Viet-Cong and the Viet–whatever theother thing is and all wanting to fight each other and nobody wanting tostop. They won’t go to Paris or wherever it is and sit round tables and talksensibly. Don’t you think really, dear– I’ve been thinking it over and Ithought it would be a very nice solution–couldn’t you make a lot of foot-ball fields and then they could all go and fight each other there, but withless lethal¹ weapons. Not that nasty palm burning stuff. You know. Just hiteach other and punch each other and all that. They’d enjoy it, everyonewould enjoy it and you could charge admission for people to go and seethem do it. I do think really that we don’t understand giving people thethings they really want.’
‘I think it’s a very fine idea of yours, Aunt Matilda,’ said Sir Stafford Nyeas he kissed a pleasantly perfumed, pale pink wrinkled cheek. ‘And howare you, my dear?’
‘Well, I’m old,’ said Lady Matilda Cleckheaton. ‘Yes, I’m old. Of courseyou don’t know what it is to be old. If it isn’t one thing it’s another.
Rheumatism² or arthritis³ or a nasty bit of asthma⁴ or a sore throat or anankle you’ve turned. Always something, you know. Nothing very import-ant. But there it is. Why have you come to see me, dear?’
Sir Stafford was slightly taken aback by the directness of the query⁵.
‘I usually come and see you when I return from a trip abroad.’
‘You’ll have to come one chair nearer,’ said Aunt Matilda. ‘I’m just thatbit deafer since you saw me last. You look different…Why do you look dif-ferent?’
‘Because I’m more sunburnt. You said so.’

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