Thirty-four LORD CATERHAM APPROVES

“Father,” said Bundle, “I’ve got to break a piece of news to you. You’re go-ing to lose me.”
“Nonsense,” said Lord Caterham. “Don’t tell me that you’re sufferingfrom galloping¹ consumption² or a weak heart or anything like that, be-cause I simply don’t believe it.”
“It’s not death,” said Bundle. “It’s marriage.”
“Very nearly as bad,” said Lord Caterham. “I suppose I shall have tocome to the wedding, all dressed up in tight uncomfortable clothes, andgive you away. And Lomax may think it necessary to kiss me in thevestry.”
“Good heavens! You don’t think I’m going to marry George, do you?”
cried Bundle.
“Well, something like that seemed to be in the wind last time I saw you,”
said her father. “Yesterday morning, you know.”
“I’m going to be married to someone a hundred times nicer thanGeorge,” said Bundle.
“I hope so, I’m sure,” said Lord Caterham. “But one never knows. I don’tfeel you’re really a good judge of character, Bundle. You told me thatyoung Thesiger was a cheerful inefficient³, and from all I hear now itseems that he was one of the most efficient criminals of the day. The sadthing is that I never met him. I was thinking of writing my reminiscencessoon—with a special chapter on murderers I have met—and by a purelytechnical oversight⁴, I never met this young man.”
“Don’t be silly,” said Bundle. “You know you haven’t got the energy towrite reminiscences or anything else.”
“I wasn’t actually going to write them myself,” said Lord Caterham. “Ibelieve that’s never done. But I met a very charming girl the other day andthat’s her special job. She collects the material and does all the actual writ-ing.”
“And what do you do?”
“Oh, just give her a few facts for half an hour every day. Nothing morethan that.” After a slight pause, Lord Catherham said: “She was a nice-looking girl—very restful and sympathetic.”
“Father,” said Bundle, “I have a feeling that without me you will run intodeadly danger.”

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