When will I learn enough about relationships to be able to have them go smoothly¹? Is there a way to be happy in relation-ships? Must they be constantly challenging?

You have nothing to learn about relationships. You have only to demonstrate what you already know.

There is a way to be happy in relationships, and that is to use relationships for their intended purpose, not the purpose you have designed.

Relationships are constantly challenging; constantly calling you to create, express, and experience higher and higher aspects of yourself, grander and grander visions of yourself, ever more magnificent versions of yourself. Nowhere can you do this more immediately, impactfully, and immaculately than in relationships. In fact, without relationships, you cannot do it at all.

It is only through your relationship with other peo-ple, places, and events that you can even exist (as a knowable quantity, as an identifiable something) in the universe. Remember, absent everything else, you are not. You only are what you are relative to another thing that is not. That is how it is in the world of the relative, as opposed to the world of the absolute—where I reside.

Once you clearly understand this, once you deeply grasp it, then you intuitively bless each and every experience, all human encounter, and especially per-sonal human relationships, for you see them as con-structive, in the highest sense. You see that they can be used, must be used, are being used (whether you want them to be or not) to construct Who You Really Are.

That construction can be a magnificent creation of your own conscious design, or a strictly⁴ happenstance configuration⁵. You can choose to be a person who has resulted simply from what has happened, or from what you’ve chosen to be and do about what has happened. It is in the latter form that creation of Self becomes conscious. It is in the second experience that Self becomes realized.

Bless, therefore, every relationship, and hold each as special and formative of Who You Are—and now choose to be.

Now your inquiry⁶ has to do with individual human relationships of the romantic sort, and I understand that. So let Me address Myself specifically, and at length, to human love relationships—these things which continue to give you such trouble!

When human love relationships fail (relationships never truly fail, except in the strictly human sense that they did not produce what you want), they fail because they were entered into for the wrong reason.

点击收听单词发音  

1 smoothly
adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地
参考例句：
The workmen are very cooperative,so the work goes on smoothly.工人们十分合作，所以工作进展顺利。 Just change one or two words and the sentence will read smoothly.这句话只要动一两个字就顺了。

2 immediate
adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的
参考例句：
His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。 We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。

3 fully
adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
参考例句：
The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。 They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

4 strictly
adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地
参考例句：
His doctor is dieting him strictly.他的医生严格规定他的饮食。 The guests were seated strictly in order of precedence.客人严格按照地位高低就座。

5 configuration
n.结构，布局，形态，(计算机)配置
参考例句：
Geographers study the configuration of the mountains.地理学家研究山脉的地形轮廓。 Prices range from $119 to $199,depending on the particular configuration.价格因具体配置而异，从119美元至199美元不等。

6 inquiry
n.打听，询问，调查，查问
参考例句：
Many parents have been pressing for an inquiry into the problem.许多家长迫切要求调查这个问题。 The field of inquiry has narrowed down to five persons.调查的范围已经缩小到只剩5个人了。

7 ail
v.生病，折磨，苦恼
参考例句：
It may provide answers to some of the problems that ail America.这一点可能解答困扰美国的某些问题。 Seek your sauce where you get your ail.心痛还须心药治。

8 conducive
adj.有益的，有助的
参考例句：
This is a more conducive atmosphere for studying.这样的氛围更有利于学习。 Exercise is conducive to good health.体育锻炼有助于增强体质。

9 resentment
n.怨愤，忿恨
参考例句：
All her feelings of resentment just came pouring out.她一股脑儿倾吐出所有的怨恨。 She cherished a deep resentment under the rose towards her employer.她暗中对她的雇主怀恨在心。

10 reclaim
v.要求归还，收回；开垦
参考例句：
I have tried to reclaim my money without success.我没能把钱取回来。 You must present this ticket when you reclaim your luggage.当你要取回行李时，必须出示这张票子。

11 acting
n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的
参考例句：
Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。 During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

12 paradox
n.似乎矛盾却正确的说法；自相矛盾的人(物)
参考例句：
The story contains many levels of paradox.这个故事存在多重悖论。 The paradox is that Japan does need serious education reform.矛盾的地方是日本确实需要教育改革。

13 anticipation
n.预期，预料，期望
参考例句：
We waited at the station in anticipation of her arrival.我们在车站等着，期待她的到来。 The animals grew restless as if in anticipation of an earthquake.各种动物都变得焦躁不安，像是感到了地震即将发生。

14 joyful
adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的
参考例句：
She was joyful of her good result of the scientific experiments.她为自己的科学实验取得好成果而高兴。 They were singing and dancing to celebrate this joyful occasion.他们唱着、跳着庆祝这令人欢乐的时刻。

15 tragically
adv. 悲剧地，悲惨地
参考例句：
Their daughter was tragically killed in a road accident. 他们的女儿不幸死于车祸。 Her father died tragically in a car crash. 她父亲在一场车祸中惨死。

16 obsession
n.困扰，无法摆脱的思想(或情感)
参考例句：
I was suffering from obsession that my career would be ended.那时的我陷入了我的事业有可能就此终止的困扰当中。 She would try to forget her obsession with Christopher.她会努力忘记对克里斯托弗的迷恋。

17 radical
n.激进份子，原子团，根号；adj.根本的，激进的，彻底的
参考例句：
The patient got a radical cure in the hospital.病人在医院得到了根治。 She is radical in her demands.她的要求十分偏激。

18 subconscious
n./adj.潜意识(的)，下意识(的)
参考例句：
Nail biting is often a subconscious reaction to tension.咬指甲通常是紧张时的下意识反映。 My answer seemed to come from the subconscious.我的回答似乎出自下意识。

19 profess
v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰
参考例句：
I profess that I was surprised at the news.我承认这消息使我惊讶。 What religion does he profess?他信仰哪种宗教？

20 embark
vi.乘船，着手，从事，上飞机
参考例句：
He is about to embark on a new business venture.他就要开始新的商业冒险活动。 Many people embark for Europe at New York harbor.许多人在纽约港乘船去欧洲。

21 literally
adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实
参考例句：
He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。 Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

22 partnership
n.合作关系，伙伴关系
参考例句：
The company has gone into partnership with Swiss Bank Corporation.这家公司已经和瑞士银行公司建立合作关系。 Martin has taken him into general partnership in his company.马丁已让他成为公司的普通合伙人。

23 worthy
adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的
参考例句：
I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。 There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

24 purely
adv.纯粹地，完全地
参考例句：
I helped him purely and simply out of friendship.我帮他纯粹是出于友情。 This disproves the theory that children are purely imitative.这证明认为儿童只会单纯地模仿的理论是站不住脚的。

25 salvation
n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困
参考例句：
Salvation lay in political reform.解救办法在于政治改革。 Christians hope and pray for salvation.基督教徒希望并祈祷灵魂得救。

26 equilibrium
n.平衡，均衡，相称，均势，平静
参考例句：
Change in the world around us disturbs our inner equilibrium.我们周围世界的变化扰乱了我们内心的平静。 This is best expressed in the form of an equilibrium constant.这最好用平衡常数的形式来表示。

27 interactive
adj.相互作用的，互相影响的，（电脑）交互的
参考例句：
The psychotherapy is carried out in small interactive groups.这种心理治疗是在互动的小组之间进行的。 This will make videogames more interactive than ever.这将使电子游戏的互动性更胜以往。

28 devoted
adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的
参考例句：
He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。 We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。

29 realization
n.实现；认识到，深刻了解
参考例句：
We shall gladly lend every effort in our power toward its realization.我们将乐意为它的实现而竭尽全力。 He came to the realization that he would never make a good teacher.他逐渐认识到自己永远不会成为好老师。

30 imperturbable
adj.镇静的
参考例句：
Thomas,of course,was cool and aloof and imperturbable.当然，托马斯沉着、冷漠，不易激动。 Edward was a model of good temper and his equanimity imperturbable.爱德华是个典型的好性子，他总是沉着镇定。

31 calamity
n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件
参考例句：
Even a greater natural calamity cannot daunt us. 再大的自然灾害也压不垮我们。 The attack on Pearl Harbor was a crushing calamity.偷袭珍珠港(对美军来说)是一场毁灭性的灾难。

32 imminently
迫切地，紧急地
参考例句：
The problem of developing bend curve parts needs to be solved imminently. 弯边零件的展开是急需解决的问题。 Obviously, the knowledge renews imminently, lifelong studies the duty to be arduous. 可见，知识更新迫在眉睫，终身学习任务繁重。

33 revolved
v.（使）旋转( revolve的过去式和过去分词 )；细想
参考例句：
The fan revolved slowly. 电扇缓慢地转动着。 The wheel revolved on its centre. 轮子绕中心转动。 来自《简明英汉词典》

34 forfeited
（因违反协议、犯规、受罚等）丧失，失去( forfeit的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
Because he broke the rules, he forfeited his winnings. 他犯规，所以丧失了奖金。 He has forfeited the right to be the leader of this nation. 他丧失了作为这个国家领导的权利。

35 juncture
n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头
参考例句：
The project is situated at the juncture of the new and old urban districts.该项目位于新老城区交界处。 It is very difficult at this juncture to predict the company's future.此时很难预料公司的前景。

36 resentments
（因受虐待而）愤恨，不满，怨恨( resentment的名词复数 )
参考例句：
He could never transcend his resentments and his complexes. 他从来不能把他的怨恨和感情上的症结置之度外。 These local resentments burst into open revolt. 地方性反感变成公开暴动。

37 revolves
v.（使）旋转( revolve的第三人称单数 )；细想
参考例句：
The earth revolves both round the sun and on its own axis. 地球既公转又自转。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》 Thus a wheel revolves on its axle. 于是，轮子在轴上旋转。 来自《简明英汉词典》

38 naught
n.无，零 [=nought]
参考例句：
He sets at naught every convention of society.他轻视所有的社会习俗。 I hope that all your efforts won't go for naught.我希望你的努力不会毫无结果。

39 cod
n.鳕鱼；v.愚弄；哄骗
参考例句：
They salt down cod for winter use.他们腌鳕鱼留着冬天吃。 Cod are found in the North Atlantic and the North Sea.北大西洋和北海有鳕鱼。

40 blasphemy
n.亵渎，渎神
参考例句：
His writings were branded as obscene and a blasphemy against God.他的著作被定为淫秽作品，是对上帝的亵渎。 You have just heard his blasphemy!你刚刚听到他那番亵渎上帝的话了！

41 justify
vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护
参考例句：
He tried to justify his absence with lame excuses.他想用站不住脚的借口为自己的缺席辩解。 Can you justify your rude behavior to me?你能向我证明你的粗野行为是有道理的吗？

42 abhors
v.憎恶( abhor的第三人称单数 )；（厌恶地）回避；拒绝；淘汰
参考例句：
For the same reason, our party abhors the deification of an individual. 因为这样，我们党也厌弃对于个人的神化。 来自《简明英汉词典》 She abhors cruelty to animals. 她憎恶虐待动物。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

43 inflict
vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担
参考例句：
Don't inflict your ideas on me.不要把你的想法强加于我。 Don't inflict damage on any person.不要伤害任何人。

44 judgments
判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判
参考例句：
A peculiar austerity marked his judgments of modern life. 他对现代生活的批评带着一种特殊的苛刻。 He is swift with his judgments. 他判断迅速。

45 phenomena
n.现象
参考例句：
Ade couldn't relate the phenomena with any theory he knew.艾德无法用他所知道的任何理论来解释这种现象。 The object of these experiments was to find the connection,if any,between the two phenomena.这些实验的目的就是探索这两种现象之间的联系，如果存在着任何联系的话。

46 scattered
adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的
参考例句：
Gathering up his scattered papers,he pushed them into his case.他把散乱的文件收拾起来，塞进文件夹里。

47 martyr
n.烈士，殉难者；vt.杀害，折磨，牺牲
参考例句：
The martyr laid down his life for the cause of national independence.这位烈士是为了民族独立的事业而献身的。 The newspaper carried the martyr's photo framed in black.报上登载了框有黑边的烈士遗像。

48 belittled
使显得微小，轻视，贬低( belittle的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
She felt her husband constantly belittled her achievements. 她觉得她的丈夫时常贬低她的成就。 A poor but honest man is not to be belittled. 穷而诚实的人是不该让人小看的。

49 psyche
n.精神；灵魂
参考例句：
His exploration of the myth brings insight into the American psyche.他对这个神话的探讨揭示了美国人的心理。 She spent her life plumbing the mysteries of the human psyche.她毕生探索人类心灵的奥秘。

50 restriction
n.限制，约束
参考例句：
The park is open to the public without restriction.这个公园对公众开放，没有任何限制。 The 30 mph speed restriction applies in all built-up areas.每小时限速30英里适用于所有建筑物聚集区。

51 constrained
adj.束缚的,节制的
参考例句：
The evidence was so compelling that he felt constrained to accept it. 证据是那样的令人折服，他觉得不得不接受。 I feel constrained to write and ask for your forgiveness. 我不得不写信请你原谅。

52 offense
n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪
参考例句：
I hope you will not take any offense at my words. 对我讲的话请别见怪。 His words gave great offense to everybody present.他的发言冲犯了在场的所有人。

53 anarchy
n.无政府状态；社会秩序混乱，无秩序
参考例句：
There would be anarchy if we had no police.要是没有警察，社会就会无法无天。 The country was thrown into a state of anarchy.这国家那时一下子陷入无政府状态。

54 irrelevant
adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的
参考例句：
That is completely irrelevant to the subject under discussion.这跟讨论的主题完全不相关。 A question about arithmetic is irrelevant in a music lesson.在音乐课上，一个数学的问题是风马牛不相及的。

55 arrogant
adj.傲慢的，自大的
参考例句：
You've got to get rid of your arrogant ways.你这骄傲劲儿得好好改改。 People are waking up that he is arrogant.人们开始认识到他很傲慢。

56 undertaking
n.保证，许诺，事业
参考例句：
He gave her an undertaking that he would pay the money back with in a year.他向她做了一年内还钱的保证。 He is too timid to venture upon an undertaking.他太胆小，不敢从事任何事业。

57 incapable
adj.无能力的，不能做某事的
参考例句：
He would be incapable of committing such a cruel deed.他不会做出这么残忍的事。 Computers are incapable of creative thought.计算机不会创造性地思维。

58 rendering
n.表现，描写
参考例句：
She gave a splendid rendering of Beethoven's piano sonata.她精彩地演奏了贝多芬的钢琴奏鸣曲。 His narrative is a super rendering of dialect speech and idiom.他的叙述是方言和土语最成功的运用。

59 longevity
n.长命；长寿
参考例句：
Good habits promote longevity.良好的习惯能增长寿命。 Human longevity runs in families.人类的长寿具有家族遗传性。

60 mutual
adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的
参考例句：
We must pull together for mutual interest.我们必须为相互的利益而通力合作。 Mutual interests tied us together.相互的利害关系把我们联系在一起。

61 ego
n.自我，自己，自尊
参考例句：
He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。 She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。

62 boredom
n.厌烦，厌倦，乏味，无聊
参考例句：
Unemployment can drive you mad with boredom.失业会让你无聊得发疯。 A walkman can relieve the boredom of running.跑步时带着随身听就不那么乏味了。

63 relentless
adj.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的
参考例句：
The traffic noise is relentless.交通车辆的噪音一刻也不停止。 Their training has to be relentless.他们的训练必须是无情的。

64 vow
n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓
参考例句：
My parents are under a vow to go to church every Sunday.我父母许愿，每星期日都去做礼拜。 I am under a vow to drink no wine.我已立誓戒酒。

65 vows
誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿
参考例句：
Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。 The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。

66 rehearsals
n.练习( rehearsal的名词复数 )；排练；复述；重复
参考例句：
The earlier protests had just been dress rehearsals for full-scale revolution. 早期的抗议仅仅是大革命开始前的预演。 She worked like a demon all through rehearsals. 她每次排演时始终精力过人。 来自《简明英汉词典》

67 thwarted
阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过
参考例句：
The guards thwarted his attempt to escape from prison. 警卫阻扰了他越狱的企图。 Our plans for a picnic were thwarted by the rain. 我们的野餐计划因雨受挫。

68 opposition
n.反对，敌对
参考例句：
The party leader is facing opposition in his own backyard.该党领袖在自己的党內遇到了反对。 The police tried to break down the prisoner's opposition.警察设法制住了那个囚犯的反抗。

69 aggrandizement
n.增大，强化，扩大
参考例句：
Her sole aim is personal aggrandizement. 她唯一的目的就是扩大个人权势。 His sole aim is personal aggrandizement. 他唯一的目标就是要扩充个人的权势。 来自辞典例句

70 chagrined
adj.懊恼的，苦恼的v.使懊恼，使懊丧，使悔恨( chagrin的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
I was most chagrined when I heard that he had got the job instead of me. 当我听说是他而不是我得到了那份工作时懊恼极了。 来自《简明英汉词典》 He was [felt] chagrined at his failure [at losing his pen]. 他为自己的失败 [遗失钢笔] 而感到懊恼。 来自辞典例句

71 yearning
a.渴望的；向往的；怀念的
参考例句：
a yearning for a quiet life 对宁静生活的向往 He felt a great yearning after his old job. 他对过去的工作有一种强烈的渴想。

72 trumpets
喇叭( trumpet的名词复数 )； 小号； 喇叭形物； （尤指）绽开的水仙花
参考例句：
A wreath was laid on the monument to a fanfare of trumpets. 在响亮的号角声中花圈被献在纪念碑前。 A fanfare of trumpets heralded the arrival of the King. 嘹亮的小号声宣告了国王驾到。

73 clarion
n.尖音小号声；尖音小号
参考例句：
Clarion calls to liberation had been mocked when we stood by.当我们袖手旁观的时候，自由解放的号角声遭到了嘲弄。 To all the people present,his speech is a clarion call.对所有在场的人而言，他的演讲都是动人的号召。

74 defiled
v.玷污( defile的过去式和过去分词 )；污染；弄脏；纵列行进
参考例句：
Many victims of burglary feel their homes have been defiled. 许多家门被撬的人都感到自己的家被玷污了。 I felt defiled by the filth. 我觉得这些脏话玷污了我。 来自《简明英汉词典》

75 ridicule
v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄
参考例句：
You mustn't ridicule unfortunate people.你不该嘲笑不幸的人。 Silly mistakes and queer clothes often arouse ridicule.荒谬的错误和古怪的服装常会引起人们的讪笑。

76 chirped
鸟叫，虫鸣( chirp的过去式 )
参考例句：
So chirped fiber gratings have broad reflection bandwidth. 所以chirped光纤光栅具有宽的反射带宽，在反射带宽内具有渐变的群时延等其它类型的光纤光栅所不具备的特点。 The crickets chirped faster and louder. 蟋蟀叫得更欢了。