我的实质越真实，越实在，近在咫尺，看得见摸得着的、把我挤出来的现实也就变得越微妙、越不可捉摸，我越来越固定不变，而我眼前的景物却以同样的程度越来越膨胀。紧张状态达到了无以复加的程度，再加上一丁点儿外力，哪怕是极小的一点也会粉碎一切。在极短的一刹那间，我体验到了那种超然的明晰，据说只有癫痫病人才具有这种洞察力。我完全丧失了时间和空间幻觉，与此同时世界沿着一条没有轴的子午线在上演它的戏。在这转瞬即逝的永恒中我觉得一切都有道理，都是完全顺理成章的，我还体验到将这一团乱七八糟的东西都抛在后面的内心中的激烈思想斗争。我感到罪恶在这里蠢蠢欲动，要在明天大吵大闹地出现。我感到了如在柞臼中被捣碎的苦痛，感到了掩面痛哭的悲痛。在时间的子午线上毫无正义可言，只有创造了真实和戏剧幻党的行动诗篇。无论何时何地，人们一旦同无限的宇宙相遇，那种使释迎牟尼和耶稣显得像神的大慈大悲精神就荡然无存。可怖的事情井非人类从这堆粪中创造出了玫瑰花，而是他们出于这样或那样的原因居然想要玫瑰花。人类出于这样或那样的原因在寻找奇迹，为了达到目的他们不惜从血泊中涉过。他们用各种主义使自己败坏，他们乐意叫自己缩为一个影子—只要一生中有一秒钟可以闭上眼睛回避令人厌恶的现实。丢脸、耻辱、穷困、战争、犯罪、无聊—一切都被忍受着，因为他们坚信一夜之间会发生某种事情，会出现一个使生活变得可以忍受的奇迹。与此同时，人体内有一只仪表在走，没有人能伸手进去关上它。有人在吃生命之面包，饮生命之酒，与此同时有位肮脏、肥蟑螂一样的牧师躲在地下室里大吃大喝，这时地面上的街灯下有一个鬼影似的主人咂咂嘴唇，血像水一样淡。在没完没了的折磨和苦难中没有奇迹出现，甚至连慰藉人的一垦半点都没有。只有思想，苍白无力，必须靠屠杀养肥自己的思想，像胆汁一样产生的思想，像猪的肚子被划开会露出来的内脏。

And the more substantial, the more solid the core of me became, the more delicate and extravagant¹ appeared the close, palpable reality out of which I was being squeezed. In the measure that I became more and more metallic², in the same measure the scene before my eyes became inflated

点击收听单词发音  

1 extravagant
adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的
参考例句：
They tried to please him with fulsome compliments and extravagant gifts.他们想用溢美之词和奢华的礼品来取悦他。 He is extravagant in behaviour.他行为放肆。

2 metallic
adj.金属的；金属制的；含金属的；产金属的；像金属的
参考例句：
A sharp metallic note coming from the outside frightened me.外面传来尖锐铿锵的声音吓了我一跳。 He picked up a metallic ring last night.昨夜他捡了一个金属戒指。

3 inflated
adj.（价格）飞涨的；（通货）膨胀的；言过其实的；充了气的v.使充气（于轮胎、气球等）( inflate的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）膨胀；（使）通货膨胀；物价上涨
参考例句：
He has an inflated sense of his own importance. 他自视过高。 They all seem to take an inflated view of their collective identity. 他们对自己的集体身份似乎都持有一种夸大的看法。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 drawn
v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的
参考例句：
All the characters in the story are drawn from life.故事中的所有人物都取材于生活。 Her gaze was drawn irresistibly to the scene outside.她的目光禁不住被外面的风景所吸引。

5 microscopic
adj.微小的，细微的，极小的，显微的
参考例句：
It's impossible to read his microscopic handwriting.不可能看清他那极小的书写字迹。 A plant's lungs are the microscopic pores in its leaves.植物的肺就是其叶片上微细的气孔。

6 simultaneously
adv.同时发生地，同时进行地
参考例句：
The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。 The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。

7 meridian
adj.子午线的；全盛期的
参考例句：
All places on the same meridian have the same longitude.在同一子午线上的地方都有相同的经度。 He is now at the meridian of his intellectual power.他现在正值智力全盛期。

8 axis
n.轴，轴线，中心线；坐标轴，基准线
参考例句：
The earth's axis is the line between the North and South Poles.地轴是南北极之间的线。 The axis of a circle is its diameter.圆的轴线是其直径。

9 eternity
n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷
参考例句：
The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。 Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。

10 justified
a.正当的，有理的
参考例句：
She felt fully justified in asking for her money back. 她认为有充分的理由要求退款。 The prisoner has certainly justified his claims by his actions. 那个囚犯确实已用自己的行动表明他的要求是正当的。

11 supremely
adv.无上地，崇高地
参考例句：
They managed it all supremely well. 这件事他们干得极其出色。 I consider a supremely beautiful gesture. 我觉得这是非常优雅的姿态。

12 pulp
n.果肉，纸浆；v.化成纸浆，除去...果肉，制成纸浆
参考例句：
The pulp of this watermelon is too spongy.这西瓜瓤儿太肉了。 The company manufactures pulp and paper products.这个公司制造纸浆和纸产品。

13 wrack
v.折磨；n.海草
参考例句：
Periodic crises wrack the capitalist system,and they grow in size and duration.周期性的危机破坏着资本主义制度，这种危机的规模在扩大，时间在延长。 The wrack had begun to stink as it rotted in the sun.海草残骸在阳光下腐烂，开始变臭了。

14 seething
沸腾的，火热的
参考例句：
The stadium was a seething cauldron of emotion. 体育场内群情沸腾。 The meeting hall was seething at once. 会场上顿时沸腾起来了。

15 blatant
adj.厚颜无耻的；显眼的；炫耀的
参考例句：
I cannot believe that so blatant a comedy can hoodwink anybody.我无法相信这么显眼的一出喜剧能够欺骗谁。 His treatment of his secretary was a blatant example of managerial arrogance.他管理的傲慢作风在他对待秘书的态度上表露无遗。

16 misery
n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦
参考例句：
Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。 He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

17 pestle
n.杵
参考例句：
He ground the rock candy with a mortar and pestle.他自己动手用研钵和杵把冰糖研成粉。 An iron pestle can be ground down to a needle.只要功夫深，铁杵磨成针。

18 mortar
n.灰浆，灰泥；迫击炮；v.把…用灰浆涂接合
参考例句：
The mason flushed the joint with mortar.泥工用灰浆把接缝处嵌平。 The sound of mortar fire seemed to be closing in.迫击炮的吼声似乎正在逼近。

19 dribbles
n.涓滴( dribble的名词复数 )；细滴；少量（液体）v.流口水( dribble的第三人称单数 )；（使液体）滴下或作细流；运球，带球
参考例句：
That faucet dribbles badly. 那个水龙头漏水严重。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》 Question: How do you make the dribbles like you always do them? 就像你经常做的，你怎么盘带？（估计也是个踢球的）。 来自互联网

20 injustice
n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利
参考例句：
They complained of injustice in the way they had been treated.他们抱怨受到不公平的对待。 All his life he has been struggling against injustice.他一生都在与不公正现象作斗争。

21 monstrous
adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的
参考例句：
The smoke began to whirl and grew into a monstrous column.浓烟开始盘旋上升，形成了一个巨大的烟柱。 Your behaviour in class is monstrous!你在课堂上的行为真是丢人！

22 wade
v.跋涉，涉水；n.跋涉
参考例句：
We had to wade through the river to the opposite bank.我们只好涉水过河到对岸。 We cannot but wade across the river.我们只好趟水过去。

23 debauch
v.使堕落，放纵
参考例句：
He debauched many innocent girls.他诱使许多清白的女子堕落了。 A scoffer，a debauched person,and,in brief，a man of Belial.一个玩世不恭的人，一个生活放荡的家伙，总而言之，是个恶棍。

24 hideousness
参考例句：
Hideousness of aspect, deformity of instinct, troubled him not, and did not arouse his indignation. 外形的丑陋和本性的怪异都不能惊动他，触犯他。 来自互联网

25 humiliation
n.羞辱
参考例句：
He suffered the humiliation of being forced to ask for his cards.他蒙受了被迫要求辞职的羞辱。 He will wish to revenge his humiliation in last Season's Final.他会为在上个季度的决赛中所受的耻辱而报复的。

26 ennui
n.怠倦，无聊
参考例句：
Since losing his job,he has often experienced a profound sense of ennui.他自从失业以来，常觉百无聊赖。 Took up a hobby to relieve the ennui of retirement.养成一种嗜好以消除退休后的无聊。

27 cockroach
n.蟑螂
参考例句：
A cockroach can live several weeks with its head off.蟑螂在头被切掉后仍能活好几个星期。 She screamed when she found a cockroach in her bed.她在床上找到一只蟑螂时大声尖叫。

28 guzzling
v.狂吃暴饮，大吃大喝( guzzle的现在分词 )
参考例句：
The kids seem to be guzzling soft drinks all day. 孩子们似乎整天都在猛喝汽水。 He's been guzzling beer all evening. 整个晚上他都在狂饮啤酒。 来自《简明英汉词典》

29 phantom
n.幻影，虚位，幽灵；adj.错觉的，幻影的，幽灵的
参考例句：
I found myself staring at her as if she were a phantom.我发现自己瞪大眼睛看着她，好像她是一个幽灵。 He is only a phantom of a king.他只是有名无实的国王。

30 torment
n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠
参考例句：
He has never suffered the torment of rejection.他从未经受过遭人拒绝的痛苦。 Now nothing aggravates me more than when people torment each other.没有什么东西比人们的互相折磨更使我愤怒。

31 forth
adv.向前；向外，往外
参考例句：
The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。 He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

32 vestige
n.痕迹，遗迹，残余
参考例句：
Some upright stones in wild places are the vestige of ancient religions.荒原上一些直立的石块是古老宗教的遗迹。 Every vestige has been swept away.一切痕迹都被一扫而光。

33 attenuated
v.（使）变细( attenuate的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）变薄；（使）变小；减弱
参考例句：
an attenuated form of the virus 毒性已衰减的病毒 You're a seraphic suggestion of attenuated thought . 你的思想是轻灵得如同天使一般的。 来自辞典例句

34 fatten
v.使肥，变肥
参考例句：
The new feed can fatten the chicken up quickly enough for market.新饲料能使鸡长得更快，以适应市场需求。 We keep animals in pens to fatten them.我们把动物关在围栏里把它们养肥。

35 fattened
v.喂肥( fatten的过去式和过去分词 )；养肥（牲畜）；使（钱）增多；使（公司）升值
参考例句：
The piglets are taken from the sow to be fattened for market. 这些小猪被从母猪身边带走，好育肥上市。 Those corrupt officials fattened themselves by drinking the people's life-blood. 那些贪官污吏用民脂民膏养肥了自己。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

36 slaughter
n.屠杀，屠宰；vt.屠杀，宰杀
参考例句：
I couldn't stand to watch them slaughter the cattle.我不忍看他们宰牛。 Wholesale slaughter was carried out in the name of progress.大规模的屠杀在维护进步的名义下进行。

37 guts
v.狼吞虎咽，贪婪地吃，飞碟游戏（比赛双方每组5人，相距15码，互相掷接飞碟）；毁坏（建筑物等）的内部( gut的第三人称单数 )；取出…的内脏n.勇气( gut的名词复数 )；内脏；消化道的下段；肠
参考例句：
I'll only cook fish if the guts have been removed. 鱼若已收拾干净，我只需烧一下即可。 Barbara hasn't got the guts to leave her mother. 巴巴拉没有勇气离开她妈妈。 来自《简明英汉词典》

38 disciple
n.信徒，门徒，追随者
参考例句：
Your disciple failed to welcome you.你的徒弟没能迎接你。 He was an ardent disciple of Gandhi.他是甘地的忠实信徒。

39 cymbals
pl.铙钹
参考例句：
People shouted, while the drums and .cymbals crashed incessantly. 人声嘈杂，锣鼓不停地大响特响。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26） The dragon dance troupe, beating drums and cymbals, entered the outer compound. 龙灯随着锣鼓声进来，停在二门外的大天井里。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）

40 miraculous
adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的
参考例句：
The wounded man made a miraculous recovery.伤员奇迹般地痊愈了。 They won a miraculous victory over much stronger enemy.他们战胜了远比自己强大的敌人，赢得了非凡的胜利。

41 realization
n.实现；认识到，深刻了解
参考例句：
We shall gladly lend every effort in our power toward its realization.我们将乐意为它的实现而竭尽全力。 He came to the realization that he would never make a good teacher.他逐渐认识到自己永远不会成为好老师。

42 touching
adj.动人的，使人感伤的
参考例句：
It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。 His letter was touching.他的信很感人。

43 decided
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。 There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

44 calamity
n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件
参考例句：
Even a greater natural calamity cannot daunt us. 再大的自然灾害也压不垮我们。 The attack on Pearl Harbor was a crushing calamity.偷袭珍珠港(对美军来说)是一场毁灭性的灾难。

45 prey
n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨
参考例句：
Stronger animals prey on weaker ones.弱肉强食。 The lion was hunting for its prey.狮子在寻找猎物。

46 plunderer
掠夺者
参考例句：
And the saint replied, "I too am a thief and a plunderer." 圣人：“我也是个贼人，是个强盗。” And the brigand said, "But I a thief and a plunderer." 盗贼：“可我是个贼人，是个强盗。”

47 plunge
v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲
参考例句：
Test pool's water temperature before you plunge in.在你跳入之前你应该测试水温。 That would plunge them in the broil of the two countries.那将会使他们陷入这两国的争斗之中。

48 rape
n.抢夺，掠夺，强奸；vt.掠夺，抢夺，强奸
参考例句：
The rape of the countryside had a profound ravage on them.对乡村的掠夺给他们造成严重创伤。 He was brought to court and charged with rape.他被带到法庭并被指控犯有强奸罪。

49 vengeance
n.报复，报仇，复仇
参考例句：
He swore vengeance against the men who murdered his father.他发誓要向那些杀害他父亲的人报仇。 For years he brooded vengeance.多年来他一直在盘算报仇。

50 distress
n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛
参考例句：
Nothing could alleviate his distress.什么都不能减轻他的痛苦。 Please don't distress yourself.请你不要忧愁了。

51 incessant
adj.不停的，连续的
参考例句：
We have had incessant snowfall since yesterday afternoon.从昨天下午开始就持续不断地下雪。 She is tired of his incessant demands for affection.她厌倦了他对感情的不断索取。

52 savage
adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人
参考例句：
The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。 He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。

53 burrow
vt.挖掘(洞穴)；钻进；vi.挖洞；翻寻；n.地洞
参考例句：
Earthworms burrow deep into the subsoil.蚯蚓深深地钻进底土。 The dog had chased a rabbit into its burrow.狗把兔子追进了洞穴。

54 crumb
n.饼屑，面包屑，小量
参考例句：
It was the only crumb of comfort he could salvage from the ordeal.这是他从这场磨难里能找到的唯一的少许安慰。 Ruth nearly choked on the last crumb of her pastry.鲁斯几乎被糕点的最后一块碎屑所噎住。

55 pounce
n.猛扑；v.猛扑，突然袭击，欣然同意
参考例句：
Why do you pounce on every single thing I say?干吗我说的每句话你都要找麻烦？ We saw the tiger about to pounce on the goat.我们看见老虎要向那只山羊扑过去。

56 devour
v.吞没；贪婪地注视或谛听，贪读；使着迷
参考例句：
Larger fish devour the smaller ones.大鱼吃小鱼。 Beauty is but a flower which wrinkle will devour.美只不过是一朵，终会被皱纹所吞噬。

57 paramount
a.最重要的，最高权力的
参考例句：
My paramount object is to save the Union and destroy slavery.我的最高目标是拯救美国，摧毁奴隶制度。 Nitrogen is of paramount importance to life on earth.氮对地球上的生命至关重要。

58 insufficient
adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的
参考例句：
There was insufficient evidence to convict him.没有足够证据给他定罪。 In their day scientific knowledge was insufficient to settle the matter.在他们的时代，科学知识还不能足以解决这些问题。

59 physically
adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律
参考例句：
He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。 Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。

60 hyena
n.土狼，鬣狗
参考例句：
African hyena noted for its distinctive howl.非洲鬣狗，以其特别的嚎叫而闻名。 The hyena's public image is not aided by its ridiculous appearance.鬣狗滑稽的外表无助于改善它在公众心中的形象。