一天，从晴空中落下一封鲍里斯的来信，我已有好多个月没有见过他了。这是封奇怪的信，我并不想假装完全看明白了。

Out of a clear sky there comes one day a letter from Boris whom I have not seen for months and months. It is a strange document and I don't pretend to understand it all clearly.

　　“我们之间发生的事情，至少在我看来，是你触动了我，触动了我的生活。就是说，我仍活着，而我又快要死了。这样多愁善感了一阵我又经历了另一次洗礼，我又活了一回。我活着，这一回不凭借回忆往事，像我跟别人谈起的那样，不过我活着。”

"What happened between us – at any rate, as far as I go – is that you touched me, touched my life, that is, at the one point where I am still alive: my death. By the emotional flow I went through another immersion¹. I lived again, alive. No longer by reminiscence, as I do with others, but alive."

　　信就是这样开头的，没有问候的话，没有日期，没有地址，写在从空白笔记本上撕下来的格纸上，字写得很轻，字体华丽、潦草。“这就是为什么你同我非常亲近，不论你喜不喜欢我，在内心深处我倒认为你是恨我的。通过你我知道自己是怎么死的：我又看到了自己在死去，我快死了。除了死掉拉倒，还有点儿别的。这也许是我怕见到你的原因—也许你在我身上玩了鬼把戏，然后死了。如今事情发生得很快。”

That's how it began. Not a word of greeting, no date, no address. Written in a thin, pompous² scrawl³ on ruled paper torn out of a blank book. "That is why, whether you like me or not – deep down I rather think you hate me – you are very close to me. By you I know how I died: I see myself dying again: I am dying. That is something. More than to be dead simply. That may be the reason why I am so afraid to see you: you may have played the trick on me, and died. Things happen so fast nowadays."

　　我站在石头旁边一行行读过去，这一番关于生死和事情发生得很快的空谈听起来像疯话。据我所看见的，什么也没有发生，除了报纸头版上登载的那些寻常灾祸。过去六个月来鲍里斯一直过着与世隔绝的生活，躲在一间房租便宜的小屋里，或许同克朗斯塔特通过心灵感应术保持着联系。他讲到退却的防线和撤出的战区，以及诸如此类的事情，好像他正在一条战壕里向司令部写报告。也许他坐下写这封信时穿着常礼服，也许他搓了几回手，以前有顾客上门来租他的公寓时他常常那样。他又写道，“我想叫你自杀的原因是……”看到这儿我不禁大笑起来，以前在波勒兹别墅他常把一只手插进常礼服的后襟里踱来踱去，要不就是在克朗斯塔特那儿—不拘哪儿，只要有摆下一只桌子的地方就行—同时滔滔不绝地把这番生与死的废话说个够。必须承认我从来没有听懂过一个词，不过这场面倒也热闹。作为一个非犹太人，我自然对一个人脑袋里闪过的各种念头感兴趣。有时他会直挺挺地躺在沙发上，那是被脑子里涌现的潮水般的念头弄得疲乏了。他的脚刚好碰到书架上，那儿放着柏拉图和斯宾诺莎的书，他不能理解为什么这些书对我没有用。我要承认他把这些书渲染得很有意思，但是我根本不知道它们是讲什么的，有时我也会偷偷翻翻其中一卷，看看那些异想天开的思想是不是真是这些人自己的，因为鲍里斯总说这些观点是他们的，不过他的话与他们的思想联系不大，基本上不沾边，鲍里斯有他自己的独特说法，就是说，当我同他单独在一起时，不过一听克朗斯塔特讲话我就觉得是鲍里斯剽窃了他的高见。他俩谈论的是一种高等数学，不含一点血肉的东西，鬼魂般荒诞，抽象得可怕。待他们谈到死的事儿时才变得具体一些了。不管怎样，切肉刀和砍肉斧也得有一个柄。我非常喜欢参加那些讨论，生平第一次觉得死亡很吸引人，我是指所有带有不流血痛苦的、抽象的死亡。他们不时会因为我还活着恭维我，但是他们的恭维方式令我很窘迫，他们叫我觉得自己是一个生活在十九世纪并出现返祖现象的遗老、一条浪漫的破布、一个有情感的直立猿人。鲍里斯尤其从挖苦我中得到乐趣，他要我活着以便自己能随心所欲地死去。他看我、揶榆我的样子…

点击收听单词发音  

1 immersion
n.沉浸；专心
参考例句：
The dirt on the bottom of the bath didn't encourage total immersion.浴缸底有污垢，不宜全身浸泡于其中。 The wood had become swollen from prolonged immersion.因长时间浸泡，木头发胀了。

2 pompous
adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的
参考例句：
He was somewhat pompous and had a high opinion of his own capabilities.他有点自大，自视甚高。 He is a good man underneath his pompous appearance. 他的外表虽傲慢，其实是个好人。

3 scrawl
vt.潦草地书写；n.潦草的笔记，涂写
参考例句：
His signature was an illegible scrawl.他的签名潦草难以辨认。 Your beautiful handwriting puts my untidy scrawl to shame.你漂亮的字体把我的潦草字迹比得见不得人。

4 standing
n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的
参考例句：
After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。 They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

5 palaver
adj.壮丽堂皇的；n.废话，空话
参考例句：
We don't want all that palaver,do we?我们不想那样小题大做，不是吗？ Progress is neither proclamation nor palaver.进步不是宣言，也不是空谈。

6 bout
n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛
参考例句：
I was suffering with a bout of nerves.我感到一阵紧张。 That bout of pneumonia enfeebled her.那次肺炎的发作使她虚弱了。

7 calamities
n.灾祸，灾难( calamity的名词复数 )；不幸之事
参考例句：
They will only triumph by persevering in their struggle against natural calamities. 他们只有坚持与自然灾害搏斗，才能取得胜利。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》 One moment's false security can bring a century of calamities. 图一时之苟安，贻百年之大患。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

8 sector
n.部门，部分；防御地段，防区；扇形
参考例句：
The export sector will aid the economic recovery. 出口产业将促进经济复苏。 The enemy have attacked the British sector.敌人已进攻英国防区。

9 evacuated
撤退者的
参考例句：
Police evacuated nearby buildings. 警方已将附近大楼的居民疏散。 The fireman evacuated the guests from the burning hotel. 消防队员把客人们从燃烧着的旅馆中撤出来。

10 forth
adv.向前；向外，往外
参考例句：
The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。 He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

11 trench
n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕
参考例句：
The soldiers recaptured their trench.兵士夺回了战壕。 The troops received orders to trench the outpost.部队接到命令在前哨周围筑壕加强防卫。

12 villa
n.别墅，城郊小屋
参考例句：
We rented a villa in France for the summer holidays.我们在法国租了一幢别墅消夏。 We are quartered in a beautiful villa.我们住在一栋漂亮的别墅里。

13 exhausted
adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的
参考例句：
It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。 Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

14 furtively
adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地
参考例句：
At this some of the others furtively exchanged significant glances. 听他这样说，有几个人心照不宣地彼此对望了一眼。 Remembering my presence, he furtively dropped it under his chair. 后来想起我在，他便偷偷地把书丢在椅子下。

15 imputed
v.把（错误等）归咎于( impute的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
They imputed the accident to the driver's carelessness. 他们把这次车祸归咎于司机的疏忽。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》 He imputed the failure of his marriage to his wife's shortcomings. 他把婚姻的失败归咎于妻子的缺点。 来自辞典例句

16 frail
adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的
参考例句：
Mrs. Warner is already 96 and too frail to live by herself.华纳太太已经九十六岁了，身体虚弱，不便独居。 She lay in bed looking particularly frail.她躺在床上，看上去特别虚弱。

17 tenuous
adj.细薄的，稀薄的，空洞的
参考例句：
He has a rather tenuous grasp of reality.他对现实认识很肤浅。 The air ten miles above the earth is very tenuous.距离地面十公里的空气十分稀薄。

18 plagiarized
v.剽窃，抄袭( plagiarize的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
The poem employs as its first lines a verse plagiarized from a billboard. 这首诗开头的几行抄袭了一个广告牌上的一节诗。 来自辞典例句 Whole passages of the work are plagiarized. 那作品整段整段都是剽窃的。 来自辞典例句

19 weird
adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的
参考例句：
From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来，他好像有点怪。 His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。

20 cleaver
n.切肉刀
参考例句：
In fact,a cleaver is a class of ax.实际上，切肉刀也是斧子的一种。 The cleaver is ground to a very sharp edge.刀磨得飞快。

21 shred
v.撕成碎片，变成碎片；n.碎布条，细片，些少
参考例句：
There is not a shred of truth in what he says.他说的全是骗人的鬼话。 The food processor can shred all kinds of vegetables.这架食品加工机可将各种蔬菜切丝切条。

22 touching
adj.动人的，使人感伤的
参考例句：
It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。 His letter was touching.他的信很感人。

23 visualize
vt.使看得见，使具体化，想象，设想
参考例句：
I remember meeting the man before but I can't visualize him.我记得以前见过那个人，但他的样子我想不起来了。 She couldn't visualize flying through space.她无法想像在太空中飞行的景象。

24 trenches
深沟，地沟( trench的名词复数 )； 战壕
参考例句：
life in the trenches 第一次世界大战期间的战壕生活 The troops stormed the enemy's trenches and fanned out across the fields. 部队猛攻敌人的战壕，并在田野上呈扇形散开。

25 apprise
vt.通知，告知
参考例句：
He came to apprise us that the work had been successfully completed.他来通知我们工作已胜利完成。 We must apprise them of the dangers that may be involved.我们必须告诉他们可能涉及的危险。

26 sundry
adj.各式各样的，种种的
参考例句：
This cream can be used to treat sundry minor injuries.这种药膏可用来治各种轻伤。 We can see the rich man on sundry occasions.我们能在各种场合见到那个富豪。

27 neurotics
n.神经官能症的( neurotic的名词复数 )；神经质的；神经过敏的；极为焦虑的
参考例句：
Freud focused on neurotics, but his conclusions were relevant to mankind as a whole. 弗洛伊德着力研究神经病，但他的结论与整个人类相关。 来自互联网

28 positively
adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实
参考例句：
She was positively glowing with happiness.她满脸幸福。 The weather was positively poisonous.这天气着实讨厌。

29 viper
n.毒蛇；危险的人
参考例句：
Envy lucks at the bottom of the human heart a viper in its hole.嫉妒潜伏在人心底，如同毒蛇潜伏在穴中。 Be careful of that viper;he is dangerous.小心那个阴险的人，他很危险。

30 tonic
n./adj.滋补品，补药，强身的，健体的
参考例句：
It will be marketed as a tonic for the elderly.这将作为老年人滋补品在市场上销售。 Sea air is Nature's best tonic for mind and body.海上的空气是大自然赋予的对人们身心的最佳补品。

31 rue
n.懊悔，芸香，后悔；v.后悔，悲伤，懊悔
参考例句：
You'll rue having failed in the examination.你会悔恨考试失败。 You're going to rue this the longest day that you live.你要终身悔恨不尽呢。

32 lenient
adj.宽大的，仁慈的
参考例句：
The judge was lenient with him.法官对他很宽大。 It's a question of finding the means between too lenient treatment and too severe punishment.问题是要找出处理过宽和处罚过严的折中办法。

33 gush
v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发
参考例句：
There was a gush of blood from the wound.血从伤口流出。 There was a gush of blood as the arrow was pulled out from the arm.当从手臂上拔出箭来时，一股鲜血涌了出来。

34 vigor
n.活力，精力，元气
参考例句：
The choir sang the words out with great vigor.合唱团以极大的热情唱出了歌词。 She didn't want to be reminded of her beauty or her former vigor.现在，她不愿人们提起她昔日的美丽和以前的精力充沛。

35 smoothly
adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地
参考例句：
The workmen are very cooperative,so the work goes on smoothly.工人们十分合作，所以工作进展顺利。 Just change one or two words and the sentence will read smoothly.这句话只要动一两个字就顺了。

36 entirely
ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地
参考例句：
The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。 His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

37 dedicated
adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的
参考例句：
He dedicated his life to the cause of education.他献身于教育事业。 His whole energies are dedicated to improve the design.他的全部精力都放在改进这项设计上了。

38 niche
n.壁龛；合适的职务(环境、位置等)
参考例句：
Madeleine placed it carefully in the rocky niche. 玛德琳小心翼翼地把它放在岩石壁龛里。 The really talented among women would always make their own niche.妇女中真正有才能的人总是各得其所。

39 cockroach
n.蟑螂
参考例句：
A cockroach can live several weeks with its head off.蟑螂在头被切掉后仍能活好几个星期。 She screamed when she found a cockroach in her bed.她在床上找到一只蟑螂时大声尖叫。

40 hitch
v.免费搭(车旅行)；系住；急提；n.故障；急拉
参考例句：
They had an eighty-mile journey and decided to hitch hike.他们要走80英里的路程，最后决定搭便车。 All the candidates are able to answer the questions without any hitch.所有报考者都能对答如流。

41 skull
n.头骨；颅骨
参考例句：
The skull bones fuse between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five.头骨在15至25岁之间长合。 He fell out of the window and cracked his skull.他从窗子摔了出去，跌裂了颅骨。

42 interval
n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息
参考例句：
The interval between the two trees measures 40 feet.这两棵树的间隔是40英尺。 There was a long interval before he anwsered the telephone.隔了好久他才回了电话。

43 cemetery
n.坟墓，墓地，坟场
参考例句：
He was buried in the cemetery.他被葬在公墓。 His remains were interred in the cemetery.他的遗体葬在墓地。

44 beet
n.甜菜；甜菜根
参考例句：
He farmed his pickers to work in the beet fields. 他出租他的摘棉工去甜菜地里干活。 The sugar beet is an entirely different kind of plant.糖用甜菜是一种完全不同的作物。

45 bastard
n.坏蛋，混蛋；私生子
参考例句：
He was never concerned about being born a bastard.他从不介意自己是私生子。 There was supposed to be no way to get at the bastard.据说没有办法买通那个混蛋。

46 bosom
n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的
参考例句：
She drew a little book from her bosom.她从怀里取出一本小册子。 A dark jealousy stirred in his bosom.他内心生出一阵恶毒的嫉妒。

47 barges
驳船( barge的名词复数 )
参考例句：
The tug is towing three barges. 那只拖船正拖着三只驳船。 There were plenty of barges dropping down with the tide. 有不少驳船顺流而下。

48 dame
n.女士
参考例句：
The dame tell of her experience as a wife and mother.这位年长妇女讲了她作妻子和母亲的经验。 If you stick around,you'll have to marry that dame.如果再逗留多一会，你就要跟那个夫人结婚。

49 bellies
n.肚子( belly的名词复数 )；腹部；（物体的）圆形或凸起部份；腹部…形的
参考例句：
They crawled along on their bellies. 他们匍匐前进。 starving children with huge distended bellies 鼓着浮肿肚子的挨饿儿童

50 rouge
n.胭脂，口红唇膏；v.(在…上)擦口红
参考例句：
Women put rouge on their cheeks to make their faces pretty.女人往面颊上涂胭脂，使脸更漂亮。 She didn't need any powder or lip rouge to make her pretty.她天生漂亮，不需要任何脂粉唇膏打扮自己。

51 sewer
n.排水沟，下水道
参考例句：
They are tearing up the street to repair a sewer. 他们正挖开马路修下水道。 The boy kicked a stone into the sewer. 那个男孩把一石子踢进了下水道。

52 jumble
vt.使混乱，混杂；n.混乱；杂乱的一堆
参考例句：
Even the furniture remained the same jumble that it had always been.甚至家具还是象过去一样杂乱无章。 The things in the drawer were all in a jumble.抽屉里的东西很杂乱。

53 lucid
adj.明白易懂的，清晰的，头脑清楚的
参考例句：
His explanation was lucid and to the point.他的解释扼要易懂。 He wasn't very lucid,he didn't quite know where he was.他神志不是很清醒，不太知道自己在哪里。

54 gouges
n.凿( gouge的名词复数 )；乱要价；（在…中）抠出…；挖出…v.凿( gouge的第三人称单数 )；乱要价；（在…中）抠出…；挖出…
参考例句：
Clegg and Rollins indicate that nonwrinkleresistant cotton fibers often exhibIt'surface gouges and fibrillation. 克莱格和罗林斯指出，未经防皱处理的棉纤维表面，通常有凿槽和微纤化现象发生。 来自辞典例句 She didn't mind that we banged into the walls and put gouges in the door jambs. 她一点也不介意我们撞坏墙或是把门框碰出小坑来。 来自互联网