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TIME BEGAN TO TRIP ALONG MUCH MORE QUICKLY than before. School, work, andJacob—though not necessarily in that order—created a neat and effortless pattern to follow. And Charliegot his wish: I wasn't miserable1 anymore. Of course, I couldn't fool myself completely. When I stoppedto take stock of my life, which I tried not to do too often, I couldn't ignore the implications of mybehavior.
I was like a lost moon—my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario2 ofdesolation—that continued, nevertheless, to circle in a tight little orbit around the empty space left behind,ignoring the laws of gravity.
I was getting better with my bike, which meant fewer bandages to worry Charlie. But it also meant thatthe voice in my head began to fade, until I heard it no more. Quietly, I panicked. I threw myself into thesearch for the meadow with slightly frenzied3 intensity4. I racked my brain for other adrenaline-producingactivities.
I didn't keep track of the days :hat passed—there was no reason, as I tried to live as much in the presentas possible, no past fading, no future impending5. So I was surprised by the date when Jacob brought itup on one of our homework days. He was waiting when I pulled up in front of his house.
"Happy Valentine's Day," Jacob said, smiling, but ducking his head as he greeted me.
He held out a small, pink box, balancing it on his palm. Conversation hearts.
"Well, I feel like a schmuck," I mumbled6. "Is today Valentine's Day?"Jacob shook his head with mock sadness. "You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenthday of February. So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy,it's the least you can do."I started to feel uncomfortable. The words were teasing, but only on the surface.
"What exactly does that entail7?" I hedged.
"The usual—slave for life, that kind of thing.""Oh, well, if that's all…" I took the candy. But I was trying to think of some way to make the boundariesclear. Again. They seemed to get

1
miserable
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adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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scenario
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n.剧本,脚本;概要 | |
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frenzied
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a.激怒的;疯狂的 | |
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4
intensity
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n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
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impending
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a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
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mumbled
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含糊地说某事,叽咕,咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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entail
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vt.使承担,使成为必要,需要 | |
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blurred
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v.(使)变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 );(使)难以区分;模模糊糊;迷离 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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obsessive
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adj. 着迷的, 强迫性的, 分神的 | |
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promising
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adj.有希望的,有前途的 | |
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tempting
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a.诱人的, 吸引人的 | |
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broached
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v.谈起( broach的过去式和过去分词 );打开并开始用;用凿子扩大(或修光);(在桶上)钻孔取液体 | |
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perked
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(使)活跃( perk的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)增值; 使更有趣 | |
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determined
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adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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apparently
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adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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tacked
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用平头钉钉( tack的过去式和过去分词 ); 附加,增补; 帆船抢风行驶,用粗线脚缝 | |
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grudgingly
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inviting
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adj.诱人的,引人注目的 | |
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suburban
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adj.城郊的,在郊区的 | |
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sophomore
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n.大学二年级生;adj.第二年的 | |
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anticipation
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n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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guts
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v.狼吞虎咽,贪婪地吃,飞碟游戏(比赛双方每组5人,相距15码,互相掷接飞碟);毁坏(建筑物等)的内部( gut的第三人称单数 );取出…的内脏n.勇气( gut的名词复数 );内脏;消化道的下段;肠 | |
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hood
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n.头巾,兜帽,覆盖;v.罩上,以头巾覆盖 | |
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lighting
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n.照明,光线的明暗,舞台灯光 | |
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maiden
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n.少女,处女;adj.未婚的,纯洁的,无经验的 | |
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smacked
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拍,打,掴( smack的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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shrugged
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vt.耸肩(shrug的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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nude
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adj.裸体的;n.裸体者,裸体艺术品 | |
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eyebrow
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n.眉毛,眉 | |
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persistence
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n.坚持,持续,存留 | |
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wary
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adj.谨慎的,机警的,小心的 | |
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briefly
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adv.简单地,简短地 | |
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flexed
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adj.[医]曲折的,屈曲v.屈曲( flex的过去式和过去分词 );弯曲;(为准备大干而)显示实力;摩拳擦掌 | |
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bailing
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(凿井时用吊桶)排水 | |
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sarcasm
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n.讥讽,讽刺,嘲弄,反话 (adj.sarcastic) | |
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glumly
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adv.忧郁地,闷闷不乐地;阴郁地 | |
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spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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bragged
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v.自夸,吹嘘( brag的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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chattering
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n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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petulance
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n.发脾气,生气,易怒,暴躁,性急 | |
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serene
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adj. 安详的,宁静的,平静的 | |
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sneak
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vt.潜行(隐藏,填石缝);偷偷摸摸做;n.潜行;adj.暗中进行 | |
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corrupt
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v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的 | |
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innocence
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n.无罪;天真;无害 | |
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professed
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公开声称的,伪称的,已立誓信教的 | |
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winced
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赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hissed
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发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 ); 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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chuckled
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轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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blurring
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n.模糊,斑点甚多,(图像的)混乱v.(使)变模糊( blur的现在分词 );(使)难以区分 | |
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unnatural
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adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
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halfway
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adj.中途的,不彻底的,部分的;adv.半路地,在中途,在半途 | |
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groaned
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v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
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54
bucks
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n.雄鹿( buck的名词复数 );钱;(英国十九世纪初的)花花公子;(用于某些表达方式)责任v.(马等)猛然弓背跃起( buck的第三人称单数 );抵制;猛然震荡;马等尥起后蹄跳跃 | |
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aisle
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n.(教堂、教室、戏院等里的)过道,通道 | |
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gore
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n.凝血,血污;v.(动物)用角撞伤,用牙刺破;缝以补裆;顶 | |
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vomit
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v.呕吐,作呕;n.呕吐物,吐出物 | |
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popcorn
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n.爆米花 | |
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concession
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n.让步,妥协;特许(权) | |
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minor
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adj.较小(少)的,较次要的;n.辅修学科;vi.辅修 | |
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rejection
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n.拒绝,被拒,抛弃,被弃 | |
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grimaced
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v.扮鬼相,做鬼脸( grimace的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pointed
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adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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persistent
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adj.坚持不懈的,执意的;持续的 | |
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obstinately
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ad.固执地,顽固地 | |
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tightened
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收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)变紧; (使)绷紧; 加紧 | |
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grumbled
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抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 发牢骚; 咕哝; 发哼声 | |
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poked
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v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 );戳出;拨弄;与(某人)性交 | |
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ribs
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n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 );(船或屋顶等的)肋拱;肋骨状的东西;(织物的)凸条花纹 | |
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scowled
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怒视,生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gaping
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adj.口的;张口的;敞口的;多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 );张开,张大 | |
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ashen
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adj.灰的 | |
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gasped
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v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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malevolent
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adj.有恶意的,恶毒的 | |
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nausea
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n.作呕,恶心;极端的憎恶(或厌恶) | |
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nauseated
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adj.作呕的,厌恶的v.使恶心,作呕( nauseate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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inhaled
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v.吸入( inhale的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fiddle
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n.小提琴;vi.拉提琴;不停拨弄,乱动 | |
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guilt
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n.犯罪;内疚;过失,罪责 | |
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utterly
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adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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eyebrows
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眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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legitimate
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adj.合法的,合理的,合乎逻辑的;v.使合法 | |
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crutch
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n.T字形拐杖;支持,依靠,精神支柱 | |
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fending
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v.独立生活,照料自己( fend的现在分词 );挡开,避开 | |
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trudged
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vt.& vi.跋涉,吃力地走(trudge的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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fretting
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n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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sprinted
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v.短距离疾跑( sprint的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hoarsely
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adv.嘶哑地 | |
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parched
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adj.焦干的;极渴的;v.(使)焦干 | |
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stagnant
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adj.不流动的,停滞的,不景气的 | |
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crackers
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adj.精神错乱的,癫狂的n.爆竹( cracker的名词复数 );薄脆饼干;(认为)十分愉快的事;迷人的姑娘 | |
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tangible
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adj.有形的,可触摸的,确凿的,实际的 | |
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abrupt
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adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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