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EVERYTHING WAS READY.
I was packed for my two-day visit with “Alice,” and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of mytruck. I’d given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, which wasexactly as I’d hoped. Billy had borrowed Old Quil Ateara’s boat and invited Charlie down for some open seafishing before the afternoon game started. Collin and Brady, the two youngest werewolves, were stayingbehind to protect La Push — though they were just children, both of them only thirteen. Still, Charlie would besafer than anyone left in Forks.
I had done all that I could do. I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control outof my head, for tonight at least. One way or another, this would all be over in forty-eight hours. The thoughtwas almost comforting.
Edward had requested that I relax, and I was going to do my best.
“For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?” he’d pleaded, unleashingthe full force of his eyes on me. “It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Justyou.”
That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier saidthan done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and that wouldhelp.
There were some things that had changed.
For instance, I was ready.
I was ready to join his family and his world. The fear and guilt2 and anguish3 I was feeling now had taughtme that much. I’d had a chance to concentrate on this — as I’d gazed at the moon through the clouds andrested against a werewolf — and I knew I would not panic again. The next time something came at us, Iwould be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and his familyagain. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.
I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head, so that Edward would be satisfied. But itwasn’t necessary. I was ready.
There was only one missing piece.
One piece, because there were some things that had not changed, and that included the desperate way Iloved him. I’d had plenty of time to think through the ramifications4 of Jasper and Emmett’s bet — to figure outthe things I was willing to lose with my humanity, and the part that I was not willing to give up. I knew whichhuman experience I was going to insist on before I became

1
lone
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adj.孤寂的,单独的;唯一的 | |
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guilt
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n.犯罪;内疚;过失,罪责 | |
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anguish
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n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼 | |
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ramifications
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n.结果,后果( ramification的名词复数 ) | |
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inhuman
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adj.残忍的,不人道的,无人性的 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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jitters
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n.pl.紧张(通常前面要有the) | |
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standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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chuckle
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vi./n.轻声笑,咯咯笑 | |
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conversational
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adj.对话的,会话的 | |
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chuckled
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轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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reluctance
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n.厌恶,讨厌,勉强,不情愿 | |
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devious
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adj.不坦率的,狡猾的;迂回的,曲折的 | |
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velocity
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n.速度,速率 | |
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scooped
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v.抢先报道( scoop的过去式和过去分词 );(敏捷地)抱起;抢先获得;用铲[勺]等挖(洞等) | |
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grumbled
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抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 发牢骚; 咕哝; 发哼声 | |
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thumped
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v.重击, (指心脏)急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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unevenly
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adv.不均匀的 | |
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uneven
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adj.不平坦的,不规则的,不均匀的 | |
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bracelet
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n.手镯,臂镯 | |
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facets
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n.(宝石或首饰的)小平面( facet的名词复数 );(事物的)面;方面 | |
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subdued
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adj. 屈服的,柔和的,减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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inhaled
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v.吸入( inhale的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gasp
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n.喘息,气喘;v.喘息;气吁吁他说 | |
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shrugged
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vt.耸肩(shrug的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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baubles
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n.小玩意( bauble的名词复数 );华而不实的小件装饰品;无价值的东西;丑角的手杖 | |
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mused
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v.沉思,冥想( muse的过去式和过去分词 );沉思自语说(某事) | |
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glimmer
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v.发出闪烁的微光;n.微光,微弱的闪光 | |
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strictly
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adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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negotiation
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n.谈判,协商 | |
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concession
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n.让步,妥协;特许(权) | |
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judgment
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n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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prerequisites
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先决条件,前提( prerequisite的名词复数 ) | |
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longingly
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adv. 渴望地 热望地 | |
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grimaced
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v.扮鬼相,做鬼脸( grimace的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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suspense
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n.(对可能发生的事)紧张感,担心,挂虑 | |
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velvet
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n.丝绒,天鹅绒;adj.丝绒制的,柔软的 | |
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afterward
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adv.后来;以后 | |
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winced
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赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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freckle
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n.雀簧;晒斑 | |
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idiotic
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adj.白痴的 | |
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mumbled
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含糊地说某事,叽咕,咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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oblivious
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adj.易忘的,遗忘的,忘却的,健忘的 | |
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undo
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vt.解开,松开;取消,撤销 | |
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disapproving
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adj.不满的,反对的v.不赞成( disapprove的现在分词 ) | |
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growled
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v.(动物)发狺狺声, (雷)作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 );低声咆哮着说 | |
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glowered
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v.怒视( glower的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pointed
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adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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ranting
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v.夸夸其谈( rant的现在分词 );大叫大嚷地以…说教;气愤地)大叫大嚷;不停地大声抱怨 | |
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instinctive
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adj.(出于)本能的;直觉的;(出于)天性的 | |
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irrational
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adj.无理性的,失去理性的 | |
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scowled
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怒视,生气地皱眉( scowl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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banish
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vt.放逐,驱逐;消除,排除 | |
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scrutinized
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v.仔细检查,详审( scrutinize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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horrified
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a.(表现出)恐惧的 | |
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reassuringly
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ad.安心,可靠 | |
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bleak
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adj.(天气)阴冷的;凄凉的;暗淡的 | |
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inept
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adj.不恰当的,荒谬的,拙劣的 | |
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grimacing
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v.扮鬼相,做鬼脸( grimace的现在分词 ) | |
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eyebrows
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眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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eyebrow
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n.眉毛,眉 | |
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solitary
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adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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shudder
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v.战粟,震动,剧烈地摇晃;n.战粟,抖动 | |
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physically
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adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律 | |
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purely
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adv.纯粹地,完全地 | |
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tightened
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收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)变紧; (使)绷紧; 加紧 | |
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muffle
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v.围裹;抑制;发低沉的声音 | |
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muffled
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adj.(声音)被隔的;听不太清的;(衣服)裹严的;蒙住的v.压抑,捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 );用厚厚的衣帽包着(自己) | |
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adorned
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[计]被修饰的 | |
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wrought
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v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的 | |
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canopy
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n.天篷,遮篷 | |
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dough
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n.生面团;钱,现款 | |
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crumbled
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(把…)弄碎, (使)碎成细屑( crumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 衰落; 坍塌; 损坏 | |
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scoffed
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嘲笑,嘲弄( scoff的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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stunned
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adj. 震惊的,惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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uncertainty
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n.易变,靠不住,不确知,不确定的事物 | |
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bribe
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n.贿赂;v.向…行贿,买通 | |
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unbearable
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adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的 | |
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racing
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n.竞赛,赛马;adj.竞赛用的,赛马用的 | |
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frantically
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ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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gasping
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adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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fetters
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n.脚镣( fetter的名词复数 );束缚v.给…上脚镣,束缚( fetter的第三人称单数 ) | |
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jaw
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n.颚,颌,说教,流言蜚语;v.喋喋不休,教训 | |
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reassured
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adj.使消除疑虑的;使放心的v.再保证,恢复信心( reassure的过去式和过去分词) | |
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frustration
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n.挫折,失败,失效,落空 | |
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86
exhaled
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v.呼出,发散出( exhale的过去式和过去分词 );吐出(肺中的空气、烟等),呼气 | |
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persuasive
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adj.有说服力的,能说得使人相信的 | |
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duress
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n.胁迫 | |
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coercion
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n.强制,高压统治 | |
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gasped
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v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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smirked
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v.傻笑( smirk的过去分词 ) | |
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groaned
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v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 );发牢骚;抱怨;受苦 | |
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93
wheedling
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v.骗取(某物),哄骗(某人干某事)( wheedle的现在分词 ) | |
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defensiveness
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防御性 | |
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motive
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n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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glumly
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adv.忧郁地,闷闷不乐地;阴郁地 | |
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villain
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n.反派演员,反面人物;恶棍;问题的起因 | |
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melodrama
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n.音乐剧;情节剧 | |
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virtue
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n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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wary
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adj.谨慎的,机警的,小心的 | |
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101
giggle
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n.痴笑,咯咯地笑;v.咯咯地笑着说 | |
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102
vampire
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n.吸血鬼 | |
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103
coveted
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adj.令人垂涎的;垂涎的,梦寐以求的v.贪求,觊觎(covet的过去分词);垂涎;贪图 | |
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104
covet
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vt.垂涎;贪图(尤指属于他人的东西) | |
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105
crookedly
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adv. 弯曲地,不诚实地 | |
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106
liar
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n.说谎的人 | |
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107
seduce
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vt.勾引,诱奸,诱惑,引诱 | |
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108
vowed
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起誓,发誓(vow的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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109
hormones
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n. 荷尔蒙,激素 名词hormone的复数形式 | |
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110
bug
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n.虫子;故障;窃听器;vt.纠缠;装窃听器 | |
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shuddered
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v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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112
fretting
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n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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113
fanfare
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n.喇叭;号角之声;v.热闹地宣布 | |
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114
chapel
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n.小教堂,殡仪馆 | |
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115
complacently
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adv. 满足地, 自满地, 沾沾自喜地 | |
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116
Amended
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adj. 修正的 动词amend的过去式和过去分词 | |
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117
gritted
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v.以沙砾覆盖(某物),撒沙砾于( grit的过去式和过去分词 );咬紧牙关 | |
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118
forefinger
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n.食指 | |
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119
outdated
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adj.旧式的,落伍的,过时的;v.使过时 | |
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slanting
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倾斜的,歪斜的 | |
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121
shimmering
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v.闪闪发光,发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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122
gems
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growth; economy; management; and customer satisfaction 增长 | |
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feigning
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假装,伪装( feign的现在分词 ); 捏造(借口、理由等) | |
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124
clenched
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v.紧握,抓紧,咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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solder
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v.焊接,焊在一起;n.焊料,焊锡 | |
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nonchalance
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n.冷淡,漠不关心 | |
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127
smoldered
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v.用文火焖烧,熏烧,慢燃( smolder的过去式 ) | |
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pretense
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n.矫饰,做作,借口 | |
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129
exultant
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adj.欢腾的,狂欢的,大喜的 | |
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130
ragged
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adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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131
tightening
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上紧,固定,紧密 | |
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132
lashes
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n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 );鞭子;突然猛烈的一击;急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 );煽动;紧系;怒斥 | |
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133
scorching
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adj. 灼热的 | |
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