When the Princess Angelica was born, her parents not only did not ask the Fairy Blackstick to the christening party, but gave orders to their porter absolutely to refuse her if she called. This porter’s name was Gruffanuff, and he had been selected for the post by their Royal Highnesses because he was a very tall fierce man, who could say “Not at home” to a tradesman or an unwelcome visitor with a rudeness which frightened most such persons away. He was the husband of that Countess whose picture we have just seen, and as long as they were together they quarrelled from morning till night. Now this fellow tried his rudeness once too often, as you shall hear. For the Fairy Blackstick coming to call upon the Prince and Princess, who were actually sitting at the open drawing-room window, Gruffanuff not only denied them, but made the most ODIOUS¹ VULGAR SIGN as he was going to slam the door in the Fairy’s face! “Git away, hold Blackstick!” said he. “I tell you, Master and Missis ain’t at home to you;” and he was, as we have said, GOING to slam the door.

But the Fairy, with her wand, prevented the door being shut; and Gruffanuff came out again in a fury, swearing in the most abominable² way, and asking the Fairy “whether she thought he was a-going to stay at that there door hall day?”

“You ARE going to stay at that door all day and all night, and for many a long year,” the Fairy said, very majestically³; and Gruffanuff, coming out of the door, straddling before it with his great calves⁴, burst out laughing, and cried, “Ha, ha, ha! this IS a good un! Ha — ah — what’s this? Let me down — oh — o — h’m!” and then he was dumb!

For, as the Fairy waved her wand over him, he felt himself rising off the ground, and fluttering up against the door, and then, as if a screw ran into his stomach, he felt a dreadful pain there, and was pinned to the door; and then his arms flew up over his head; and his legs, after writhing⁵ about wildly, twisted under his body; and he felt cold, cold, growing over him, as if he was turning into metal; and he said, “Oh — o — h’m!” and could say no more, because he was dumb.

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