When I was seventeen, my life changed forever.

As I walk the streets of Beaufort forty years later, thinking back on that year of my life, I remember everything as clearly as if it were all still unfolding before my very eyes.

I remember Jamie saying yes to my breathless question and how we both began to cry together. I remember talking to both Hegbert and my parents, explaining to them what I needed to do. They thought I was doing it only for Jamie, and all three of them tried to talk me out of it, especially when they realized that Jamie had said yes. What they didn’t understand, and I had to make clear to them, was that I needed to do it for me.

I was in love with her, so deeply in love that I didn’t care if she was sick. I didn’t care that we wouldn’t have long together. None of those things mattered to me. All I cared about was doing something that my heart had told me was the right thing to do. In my mind it was the first time God had ever spoken directly to me, and I knew with certainty¹ that I wasn’t going to disobey.  I know that some of you may wonder if I was doing it out of pity. Some of the more cynical² may even wonder if I did it because she’d be gone soon anyway and I wasn’t committing much. The answer to both questions is no. I would have married Jamie Sullivan no matter what happened in the future. I would have married Jamie Sullivan if the miracle I was praying for had suddenly come true. I knew it at the moment I asked her, and I still know it today.

Jamie was more than just the woman I loved. In that year Jamie helped me become the man I am today. With her steady hand she showed me how important it was to help others; with her patience and kindness she showed me what life is really all about. Her cheerfulness and optimism³, even in times of sickness, was the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed.

We were married by Hegbert in the Baptist church, my father standing⁴ beside me as the best man. That was another thing she did. In the South it’s a tradition to have your father beside you, but for me it’s a tradition that wouldn’t have had much meaning before Jamie came into my life. Jamie had brought my father and me together again; somehow she’d also managed to heal some of the wounds between our two families. After what he’d done for me and for Jamie, I knew in the end that my father was someone I could always count on, and as the years passed our relationship grew

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1 certainty
n.必然的事，确定的事实，确信，确实
参考例句：
I can't say with any certainty where I shall be next week.我不能确切地说下周我在什么地方。 I know for a certainty that the company has been bought up.我确实知道公司已经被人收购了。

2 cynical
adj.(对人性或动机)怀疑的，不信世道向善的
参考例句：
The enormous difficulty makes him cynical about the feasibility of the idea.由于困难很大，他对这个主意是否可行持怀疑态度。 He was cynical that any good could come of democracy.他不相信民主会带来什么好处。

3 optimism
n.乐观，乐观主义
参考例句：
Don't pour cold water on their optimism.别给他们的乐观态度泼冷水。 Optimism made him alive through the hard days.乐观主义使他在艰难的岁月里活了下来。

4 standing
n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的
参考例句：
After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。 They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

5 steadily
adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地
参考例句：
The scope of man's use of natural resources will steadily grow.人类利用自然资源的广度将日益扩大。 Our educational reform was steadily led onto the correct path.我们的教学改革慢慢上轨道了。

6 grudges
不满，怨恨，妒忌( grudge的名词复数 )
参考例句：
He never grudges money. 他从不吝惜金钱。 They bear grudges against each other. 他俩有过节儿。

7 aisle
n.（教堂、教室、戏院等里的）过道，通道
参考例句：
The aisle was crammed with people.过道上挤满了人。 The girl ushered me along the aisle to my seat.引座小姐带领我沿着通道到我的座位上去。

8 dabbing
石面凿毛，灰泥抛毛
参考例句：
She was crying and dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. 她一边哭一边用手绢轻按眼睛。 Huei-fang was leaning against a willow, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. 四小姐蕙芳正靠在一棵杨柳树上用手帕揉眼睛。 来自子夜部分

9 halfway
adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途
参考例句：
We had got only halfway when it began to get dark.走到半路，天就黑了。 In study the worst danger is give up halfway.在学习上，最忌讳的是有始无终。

10 elapsed
v.（时间）消逝，过去（ elapse的过去式和过去分词 ）
参考例句：
Many years elapsed before they met again. 过了许多年他们才再次相见。 Four years have elapsed since he went to London. 自从他去了伦敦，已过了四年。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 surge
n.汹涌，澎湃；vi.汹涌，强烈感到，飞涨；vt.放开，松手
参考例句：
The surge travelled southwards along the coast.浪涛沿着海岸向南涌去。 It failed to stimulate a surge of investment in industry.这没有能刺激工业投资的激增。

12 gasps
v.喘气( gasp的第三人称单数 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要
参考例句：
He leant against the railing, his breath coming in short gasps. 他倚着栏杆，急促地喘气。 来自《简明英汉词典》 My breaths were coming in gasps. 我急促地喘起气来。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 spontaneously
ad.自发地
参考例句：
We decided spontaneously to board a train for Geneva. 我们自行决定搭乘去日内瓦的火车。 Opportunities for learning occur spontaneously every day. 学习的机会每天都会自然而然地出现。

14 retrieved
v.取回( retrieve的过去式和过去分词 )；恢复；寻回；检索（储存的信息）
参考例句：
Yesterday I retrieved the bag I left in the train. 昨天我取回了遗留在火车上的包。 来自《简明英汉词典》 He reached over and retrieved his jacket from the back seat. 他伸手从后座上取回了自己的夹克。 来自辞典例句

15 decided
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。 There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

16 pointed
adj.尖的，直截了当的
参考例句：
He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。 She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

17 vows
誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿
参考例句：
Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。 The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。

18 blessings
n.（上帝的）祝福( blessing的名词复数 )；好事；福分；因祸得福
参考例句：
Afflictions are sometimes blessings in disguise. 塞翁失马，焉知非福。 来自《简明英汉词典》 We don't rely on blessings from Heaven. 我们不靠老天保佑。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

19 exhale
v.呼气，散出，吐出，蒸发
参考例句：
Sweet odours exhale from flowers.花儿散发出花香。 Wade exhaled a cloud of smoke and coughed.韦德吐出一口烟，然后咳嗽起来。