The Legacy of Cain
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CHAPTER XXV. HELENA’S DIARY.

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They all notice at home that I am looking worn and haggard. That hideous1 old maid, Miss Jillgall, had her malicious2 welcome ready for me when we met at breakfast this morning: “Dear Helena, what has become of your beauty? One would think you had left it in your room!” Poor deluded3 Eunice showed her sisterly sympathy: “Don’t joke about it, Selina: can’t you see that Helena is ill?”

I have been ill; ill of my own wickedness.

But the recovery to my tranquillity4 will bring with it the recovery of my good looks. My fatal passion for Philip promises to be the utter destruction of everything that is good in me. Well! what is good in me may not be worth keeping. There is a fate in these things. If I am destined5 to rob Eunice of the one dear object of her love and hope—how can I resist? The one kind thing I can do is to keep her in ignorance of what is coming, by acts of affectionate deceit.

Besides, if she suffers, I suffer too. In the length and breadth of England, I doubt if there is a much more wicked young woman to be found than myself. Is it nothing to feel that, and to endure it as I do?

Upon my word, there is no excuse for me!

Is this sheer impudence6? No; it is the bent7 of my nature. I have a tendency to self-examination, accompanied by one merit—I don’t spare myself.

There are excuses for Eunice. She lives in a fools’ paradise; and she sees in her lover a radiant creature, shining in the halo thrown over him by her own self-delusion, Nothing of this sort is to be said for me. I see Philip as he is. My penetration8 looks into the lowest depths of his character—when I am not in his company. There seems to be a foundation of good, somewhere in his nature. He despises and hates himself (he has confessed it to me), when Eunice is with him—still believing in her false sweetheart. But how long do these better influences last? I have only to show myself, in my sister’s absence, and Philip is mine body and soul. His vanity and his weakness take possession of him the moment he sees my face. He is one of those men—even in my little experience I have met with them—who are born to be led by women. If Eunice had
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1 hideous 65KyC     
adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的
参考例句：
  • The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
  • They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。
2 malicious e8UzX     
adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的
参考例句：
  • You ought to kick back at such malicious slander. 你应当反击这种恶毒的污蔑。
  • Their talk was slightly malicious.他们的谈话有点儿心怀不轨。
3 deluded 7cff2ff368bbd8757f3c8daaf8eafd7f     
v.欺骗，哄骗( delude的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • Don't be deluded into thinking that we are out of danger yet. 不要误以为我们已脱离危险。
  • She deluded everyone into following her. 她骗得每个人都听信她的。 来自《简明英汉词典》
4 tranquillity 93810b1103b798d7e55e2b944bcb2f2b     
n. 平静, 安静
参考例句：
  • The phenomenon was so striking and disturbing that his philosophical tranquillity vanished. 这个令人惶惑不安的现象，扰乱了他的旷达宁静的心境。
  • My value for domestic tranquillity should much exceed theirs. 我应该远比他们重视家庭的平静生活。
5 destined Dunznz     
adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的
参考例句：
  • It was destined that they would marry.他们结婚是缘分。
  • The shipment is destined for America.这批货物将运往美国。
6 impudence K9Mxe     
n.厚颜无耻；冒失；无礼
参考例句：
  • His impudence provoked her into slapping his face.他的粗暴让她气愤地给了他一耳光。
  • What knocks me is his impudence.他的厚颜无耻使我感到吃惊。
7 bent QQ8yD     
n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的
参考例句：
  • He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
  • We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。
8 penetration 1M8xw     
n.穿透，穿人，渗透
参考例句：
  • He is a man of penetration.他是一个富有洞察力的人。
  • Our aim is to achieve greater market penetration.我们的目标是进一步打入市场。
9 possessed xuyyQ     
adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的
参考例句：
  • He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
  • He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。
10 fascination FlHxO     
n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋
参考例句：
  • He had a deep fascination with all forms of transport.他对所有的运输工具都很着迷。
  • His letters have been a source of fascination to a wide audience.广大观众一直迷恋于他的来信。
11 accomplishments 1c15077db46e4d6425b6f78720939d54     
n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就
参考例句：
  • It was one of the President's greatest accomplishments. 那是总统最伟大的成就之一。
  • Among her accomplishments were sewing,cooking,playing the piano and dancing. 她的才能包括缝纫、烹调、弹钢琴和跳舞。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
12 jealousy WaRz6     
n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌
参考例句：
  • Some women have a disposition to jealousy.有些女人生性爱妒忌。
  • I can't support your jealousy any longer.我再也无法忍受你的嫉妒了。
13 distinguished wu9z3v     
adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的
参考例句：
  • Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
  • A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。
14 prospect P01zn     
n.前景，前途；景色，视野
参考例句：
  • This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
  • The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。
15 inquiries 86a54c7f2b27c02acf9fcb16a31c4b57     
n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听
参考例句：
  • He was released on bail pending further inquiries. 他获得保释，等候进一步调查。
  • I have failed to reach them by postal inquiries. 我未能通过邮政查询与他们取得联系。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
16 celebrated iwLzpz     
adj.有名的，声誉卓著的
参考例句：
  • He was soon one of the most celebrated young painters in England.不久他就成了英格兰最负盛名的年轻画家之一。
  • The celebrated violinist was mobbed by the audience.观众团团围住了这位著名的小提琴演奏家。
17 penitent wu9ys     
adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者
参考例句：
  • They all appeared very penitent,and begged hard for their lives.他们一个个表示悔罪，苦苦地哀求饶命。
  • She is deeply penitent.她深感愧疚。
18 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地
参考例句：
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
19 diabolically 212265cd1a140a1386ebd68caba9df5c     
参考例句：
  • His writing could be diabolically satiric. 他的作品极具讽刺性。 来自互联网
20 virtue BpqyH     
n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力
参考例句：
  • He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
  • You need to decorate your mind with virtue.你应该用德行美化心灵。
21 fascinations 1b7d9606a26a4699835243f7a1d0b55d     
n.魅力( fascination的名词复数 )；有魅力的东西；迷恋；陶醉
参考例句：
  • The fascinations of the circus are endless. 马戏表演非常吸引人。 来自辞典例句
  • He held the children spellbound with magic tricks and other fascinations. 他使那些孩子沉浸在魔术和其他魅力中。 来自互联网
22 wretch EIPyl     
n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人
参考例句：
  • You are really an ungrateful wretch to complain instead of thanking him.你不但不谢他，还埋怨他，真不知好歹。
  • The dead husband is not the dishonoured wretch they fancied him.死去的丈夫不是他们所想象的不光彩的坏蛋。
23 sleepless oiBzGN     
adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的
参考例句：
  • The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
  • One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上，我听说了一个传闻，把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。
24 discretion FZQzm     
n.谨慎；随意处理
参考例句：
  • You must show discretion in choosing your friend.你择友时必须慎重。
  • Please use your best discretion to handle the matter.请慎重处理此事。
25 intruded 8326c2a488b587779b620c459f2d3c7e     
n.侵入的，推进的v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的过去式和过去分词 )；把…强加于
参考例句：
  • One could believe that human creatures had never intruded there before. 你简直会以为那是从来没有人到过的地方。 来自辞典例句
  • The speaker intruded a thin smile into his seriousness. 演说人严肃的脸上掠过一丝笑影。 来自辞典例句
26 discreetly nuwz8C     
ad.(言行)审慎地，慎重地
参考例句：
  • He had only known the perennial widow, the discreetly expensive Frenchwoman. 他只知道她是个永远那么年轻的寡妇，一个很会讲排场的法国女人。
  • Sensing that Lilian wanted to be alone with Celia, Andrew discreetly disappeared. 安德鲁觉得莉莲想同西莉亚单独谈些什么，有意避开了。
27 irritable LRuzn     
adj.急躁的；过敏的；易怒的
参考例句：
  • He gets irritable when he's got toothache.他牙一疼就很容易发脾气。
  • Our teacher is an irritable old lady.She gets angry easily.我们的老师是位脾气急躁的老太太。她很容易生气。
28 submission lUVzr     
n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出
参考例句：
  • The defeated general showed his submission by giving up his sword.战败将军缴剑表示投降。
  • No enemy can frighten us into submission.任何敌人的恐吓都不能使我们屈服。
29 obstinacy C0qy7     
n.顽固；（病痛等）难治
参考例句：
  • It is a very accountable obstinacy.这是一种完全可以理解的固执态度。
  • Cindy's anger usually made him stand firm to the point of obstinacy.辛迪一发怒，常常使他坚持自见，并达到执拗的地步。
30 mischievous mischievous     
adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的
参考例句：
  • He is a mischievous but lovable boy.他是一个淘气但可爱的小孩。
  • A mischievous cur must be tied short.恶狗必须拴得短。

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