The Legacy of Cain
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CHAPTER XXX. EUNICE’S DIARY.

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Through the day, and through the night, I feel a misery1 that never leaves me—I mean the misery of fear.

I am trying to find out some harmless means of employing myself, which will keep evil remembrances from me. If I don’t succeed, my fear tells me what will happen. I shall be in danger of going mad.

I dare not confide2 in any living creature. I don’t know what other persons might think of me, or how soon I might find myself perhaps in an asylum3. In this helpless condition, doubt and fright seem to be driving me back to my Journal. I wonder whether I shall find harmless employment here.

I have heard of old people losing their memories. What would I not give to be old! I remember! oh, how I remember! One day after another I see Philip, I see Helena, as I first saw them when I was among the trees in the park. My sweetheart’s arms, that once held me, hold my sister now. She kisses him, kisses him, kisses him.

Is there no way of making myself see something else? I want to get back to remembrances that don’t burn in my head and tear at my heart. How is it to be done?

I have tried books—no! I have tried going out to look at the shops—no! I have tried saying my prayers—no! And now I am making my last effort; trying my pen. My black letters fall from it, and take their places on the white paper. Will my black letters help me? Where can I find something consoling to write down? Where? Where?

Selina—poor Selina, so fond of me, so sorry for me. When I was happy, she was happy, too. It was always amusing to hear her talk. Oh, my memory, be good to me! Save me from Philip and Helena. I want to remember the pleasant days when my kind little friend and I used to gossip in the garden.

No: the days in the garden won’t come back. What else can I think of?

.......

The recollections that I try to encourage keep away from me. The other recollections that I dread4, come crowding back. Still Philip! Still Helena!

But Selina mixes herself up with them. Let me try again if I can think of Selina.

How delightfully5 good to me and patient with me she was, on our
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1 misery G10yi     
n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦
参考例句：
  • Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
  • He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。
2 confide WYbyd     
v.向某人吐露秘密
参考例句：
  • I would never readily confide in anybody.我从不轻易向人吐露秘密。
  • He is going to confide the secrets of his heart to us.他将向我们吐露他心里的秘密。
3 asylum DobyD     
n.避难所，庇护所，避难
参考例句：
  • The people ask for political asylum.人们请求政治避难。
  • Having sought asylum in the West for many years,they were eventually granted it.他们最终获得了在西方寻求多年的避难权。
4 dread Ekpz8     
vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧
参考例句：
  • We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
  • Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。
5 delightfully f0fe7d605b75a4c00aae2f25714e3131     
大喜，欣然
参考例句：
  • The room is delightfully appointed. 这房子的设备令人舒适愉快。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The evening is delightfully cool. 晚间凉爽宜人。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
6 dismal wtwxa     
adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的
参考例句：
  • That is a rather dismal melody.那是一支相当忧郁的歌曲。
  • My prospects of returning to a suitable job are dismal.我重新找到一个合适的工作岗位的希望很渺茫。
7 miserable g18yk     
adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的
参考例句：
  • It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
  • Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。
8 exquisite zhez1     
adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的
参考例句：
  • I was admiring the exquisite workmanship in the mosaic.我当时正在欣赏镶嵌画的精致做工。
  • I still remember the exquisite pleasure I experienced in Bali.我依然记得在巴厘岛所经历的那种剧烈的快感。
9 worthy vftwB     
adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的
参考例句：
  • I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
  • There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。
10 distressed du1z3y     
痛苦的
参考例句：
  • He was too distressed and confused to answer their questions. 他非常苦恼而困惑，无法回答他们的问题。
  • The news of his death distressed us greatly. 他逝世的消息使我们极为悲痛。
11 vile YLWz0     
adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的
参考例句：
  • Who could have carried out such a vile attack?会是谁发起这么卑鄙的攻击呢？
  • Her talk was full of vile curses.她的话里充满着恶毒的咒骂。
12 gallows UfLzE     
n.绞刑架，绞台
参考例句：
  • The murderer was sent to the gallows for his crimes.谋杀犯由于罪大恶极被处以绞刑。
  • Now I was to expiate all my offences at the gallows.现在我将在绞刑架上赎我一切的罪过。
13 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的；有决心的
参考例句：
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
14 sleepless oiBzGN     
adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的
参考例句：
  • The situation gave her many sleepless nights.这种情况害她一连好多天睡不好觉。
  • One evening I heard a tale that rendered me sleepless for nights.一天晚上，我听说了一个传闻，把我搞得一连几夜都不能入睡。
15 scripture WZUx4     
n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段
参考例句：
  • The scripture states that God did not want us to be alone.圣经指出上帝并不是想让我们独身一人生活。
  • They invoked Hindu scripture to justify their position.他们援引印度教的经文为他们的立场辩护。
16 submission lUVzr     
n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出
参考例句：
  • The defeated general showed his submission by giving up his sword.战败将军缴剑表示投降。
  • No enemy can frighten us into submission.任何敌人的恐吓都不能使我们屈服。
17 killing kpBziQ     
n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财
参考例句：
  • Investors are set to make a killing from the sell-off.投资者准备清仓以便大赚一笔。
  • Last week my brother made a killing on Wall Street.上个周我兄弟在华尔街赚了一大笔。
18 agitation TN0zi     
n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动
参考例句：
  • Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
  • These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。
19 prescription u1vzA     
n.处方，开药；指示，规定
参考例句：
  • The physician made a prescription against sea- sickness for him.医生给他开了个治晕船的药方。
  • The drug is available on prescription only.这种药只能凭处方购买。
20 inquiries 86a54c7f2b27c02acf9fcb16a31c4b57     
n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听
参考例句：
  • He was released on bail pending further inquiries. 他获得保释，等候进一步调查。
  • I have failed to reach them by postal inquiries. 我未能通过邮政查询与他们取得联系。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
21 infamously 372f22c224ac251f7b3f6677ee3c849e     
不名誉地
参考例句：
  • They will not have much cause of triumph when they see how infamously I act. 当他们看到我演得那么糟糕时，他们就不会有多少理由感到胜利了。
22 mischief jDgxH     
n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹
参考例句：
  • Nobody took notice of the mischief of the matter. 没有人注意到这件事情所带来的危害。
  • He seems to intend mischief.看来他想捣蛋。
23 unnatural 5f2zAc     
adj.不自然的；反常的
参考例句：
  • Did her behaviour seem unnatural in any way?她有任何反常表现吗？
  • She has an unnatural smile on her face.她脸上挂着做作的微笑。
24 tempt MpIwg     
vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣
参考例句：
  • Nothing could tempt him to such a course of action.什么都不能诱使他去那样做。
  • The fact that she had become wealthy did not tempt her to alter her frugal way of life.她有钱了，可这丝毫没能让她改变节俭的生活习惯。
25 strictly GtNwe     
adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地
参考例句：
  • His doctor is dieting him strictly.他的医生严格规定他的饮食。
  • The guests were seated strictly in order of precedence.客人严格按照地位高低就座。
26 possessed xuyyQ     
adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的
参考例句：
  • He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
  • He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。
27 sneering 929a634cff0de62dfd69331a8e4dcf37     
嘲笑的，轻蔑的
参考例句：
  • "What are you sneering at?" “你冷笑什么？” 来自子夜部分
  • The old sorceress slunk in with a sneering smile. 老女巫鬼鬼崇崇地走进来，冷冷一笑。
28 horrid arozZj     
adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的
参考例句：
  • I'm not going to the horrid dinner party.我不打算去参加这次讨厌的宴会。
  • The medicine is horrid and she couldn't get it down.这种药很难吃，她咽不下去。
29 melancholy t7rz8     
n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的
参考例句：
  • All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
  • He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过，他感到很郁闷。
30 enjoyment opaxV     
n.乐趣；享有；享用
参考例句：
  • Your company adds to the enjoyment of our visit. 有您的陪同，我们这次访问更加愉快了。
  • After each joke the old man cackled his enjoyment.每逢讲完一个笑话，这老人就呵呵笑着表示他的高兴。
31 slanting bfc7f3900241f29cee38d19726ae7dce     
倾斜的，歪斜的
参考例句：
  • The rain is driving [slanting] in from the south. 南边潲雨。
  • The line is slanting to the left. 这根线向左斜了。
32 compassionate PXPyc     
adj.有同情心的，表示同情的
参考例句：
  • She is a compassionate person.她是一个有同情心的人。
  • The compassionate judge gave the young offender a light sentence.慈悲的法官从轻判处了那个年轻罪犯。
33 entreated 945bd967211682a0f50f01c1ca215de3     
恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
  • They entreated and threatened, but all this seemed of no avail. 他们时而恳求，时而威胁，但这一切看来都没有用。
  • 'One word,' the Doctor entreated. 'Will you tell me who denounced him?' “还有一个问题，”医生请求道，“你可否告诉我是谁告发他的？” 来自英汉文学 - 双城记
34 docile s8lyp     
adj.驯服的，易控制的，容易教的
参考例句：
  • Circus monkeys are trained to be very docile and obedient.马戏团的猴子训练得服服贴贴的。
  • He is a docile and well-behaved child.他是个温顺且彬彬有礼的孩子。

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