[86] E.g., "Our young people are diseased with the theological problems of original sin, origin ofevil, predestination, and the like. These never presented a practical difficulty to any man--neverdarkened across any man's road, who did not go out of his way to seek them. These are the soul'smumps, and measles13, and whooping-coughs, etc. Emerson: Spiritual Laws.
The psychological basis of the twice-born character seems to be a certain discordancy14 orheterogeneity in the native temperament17 of the subject, an incompletely unified18 moral andintellectual constitution.
"Homo duplex, homo duplex!" writes Alphonse Daudet. "The first time that I perceived that Iwas two was at the death of my brother Henri, when my father cried out so dramatically, 'He isdead, he is dead!' While my first self wept, my second self thought, 'How truly given was that cry,how fine it would be at the theatre.' I was then fourteen years old.
"This horrible duality has often given me matter for reflection. Oh, this terrible second me,always seated whilst the other is on foot, acting19, living, suffering, bestirring itself. This second methat I have never been able to intoxicate20, to make shed tears, or put to sleep. And how it sees intothings, and how it mocks!"[87]
[87] Notes sur la Vie, p. 1.
Recent works on the psychology21 of character have had much to say upon this point.[88] Somepersons are born with an inner constitution which is harmonious22 and well balanced from the outset.
Their impulses are consistent with one another, their will follows without trouble the guidance oftheir intellect, their passions are not excessive, and their lives are little haunted by regrets. Othersare oppositely constituted; and are so in degrees which may vary from something so slight as toresult in a merely odd or whimsical inconsistency, to a discordancy of which the consequencesmay be inconvenient23 in the extreme. Of the more innocent kinds of heterogeneity16 I find a goodexample in Mrs. Annie Besant's autobiography24.
[88] See, for example, F. Paulhan, in his book Les Caracteres, 1894, who contrasts lesEquilibres, les Unifies25, with les Inquiets, les Contrariants, les Incoherents, les Emiettes, as so manydiverse psychic26 types.
"I have ever been the queerest mixture of weakness and strength, and have paid heavily for theweakness. As a child I used to suffer tortures of shyness, and if my shoe-lace was untied27 wouldfeel shamefacedly that every eye was fixed28 on the unlucky string; as a girl I would shrink awayfrom strangers and think myself unwanted and unliked, so that I was full of eager gratitude29 to anyone who noticed me kindly30, as the young mistress of a house I was afraid of my servants, andwould let careless work pass rather than bear the pain of reproving the ill-doer; when I have beenlecturing and debating with no lack of spirit on the platform, I have preferred to go without what Iwanted at the hotel rather than to ring and make the waiter fetch it. Combative31 on the platform indefense of any cause I cared for, I shrink from quarrel or disapproval32 in the house, and am acoward at heart in private while a good fighter in public. How often have I passed unhappyquarters of an hour screwing up my courage to find fault with some subordinate whom my dutycompelled me to reprove, and how often have I jeered33 myself for a fraud as the doughty34 platformcombatant, when shrinking from blaming some lad or lass for doing their work badly. An unkindlook or word has availed to make me shrink into myself as a snail35 into its shell, while, on theplatform, opposition36 makes me speak my best."[89]
[89] Annie Besant: an Autobiography, p. 82.
This amount of inconsistency will only count as amiable37 weakness; but a stronger degree ofheterogeneity may make havoc38 of the subject's life. There are persons whose existence is littlemore than a series of zig-zags, as now one tendency and now another gets the upper hand. Theirspirit wars with their flesh, they wish for incompatibles, wayward impulses interrupt their mostdeliberate plans, and their lives are one long drama of repentance40 and of effort to repairmisdemeanors and mistakes.
Heterogeneous42 personality has been explained as the result of inheritance--the traits of characterof incompatible39 and antagonistic43 ancestors are supposed to be preserved alongside of each other.
[90] This explanation may pass for what it is worth--it certainly needs corroboration44. But whateverthe cause of heterogeneous personality may be, we find the extreme examples of it in thepsychopathic temperament, of which I spoke45 in my first lecture. All writers about thattemperament make the inner heterogeneity prominent in their descriptions. Frequently, indeed, it isonly this trait that leads us to ascribe that temperament to a man at all. A "degenere superieur" is simply a man of sensibility in many directions, who finds more difficulty than is common inkeeping <167> his spiritual house in order and running his furrow46 straight, because his feelingsand impulses are too keen and too discrepant47 mutually. In the haunting and insistent48 ideas, in theirrational impulses, the morbid50 scruples51, dreads53, and inhibitions which beset54 the psychopathictemperament when it is thoroughly55 pronounced, we have exquisite56 examples of heterogeneouspersonality. Bunyan had an obsession57 of the words, "Sell Christ for this, sell him for that, sell him,sell him!" which would run through his mind a hundred times together, until one day out of breathwith retorting, "I will not, I will not," he impulsively58 said, "Let him go if he will," and this loss ofthe battle kept him in despair for over a year. The lives of the saints are full of such blasphemousobsessions, ascribed invariably to the direct agency of Satan. The phenomenon connects itself withthe life of the subconscious59 self, so-called, of which we must erelong speak more directly.
[90] Smith Baker60, in Journal of Nervous and Mental Diseases, September, 1893.
Now in all of us, however constituted, but to a degree the greater in proportion as we are intenseand sensitive and subject to diversified61 temptations, and to the greatest possible degree if we aredecidedly psychopathic, does the normal evolution of character chiefly consist in the straighteningout and unifying63 of the inner self. The higher and the lower feelings, the useful and the erringimpulses, begin by being a comparative chaos64 within us--they must end by forming a stable systemof functions in right subordination. Unhappiness is apt to characterize the period of order-makingand struggle. If the individual be of tender conscience and religiously quickened, the unhappinesswill take the form of moral remorse65 and compunction, of feeling inwardly vile66 and wrong, and ofstanding in false relations to the author of one's being and appointer of one's spiritual fate. This isthe religious melancholy68 and "conviction of sin" that have played so large a part in the history ofProtestant Christianity. The man's interior is a battle-ground for what he feels to be two deadlyhostile selves, one actual, the other ideal. As Victor Hugo makes his Mahomet say:-"Je suis le champ vil des sublimes69 combats: Tantot l'homme d'en haut, et tantot l'homme d'enbas; Et le mal dans ma bouche avec le bien alterne, Comme dans le desert le sable70 et la citerne."Wrong living, impotent aspirations71; "What I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I," asSaint Paul says; self-loathing, self-despair; an unintelligible72 and intolerable burden to which one ismysteriously the heir.
Let me quote from some typical cases of discordant73 personality, with melancholy in the form ofself-condemnation and sense of sin. Saint Augustine's case is a classic example. You all rememberhis half-pagan, half-Christian bringing up at Carthage, his emigration to Rome and Milan, hisadoption of Manicheism and subsequent skepticism, and his restless search for truth and purity oflife; and finally how, distracted by the struggle between the two souls in his breast and ashamed ofhis own weakness of will, when so many others whom he knew and knew of had thrown off theshackles of sensuality and dedicated74 themselves to chastity and the higher life, he heard a voice inthe garden say, "Sume, lege" (take and read), and opening the Bible at random75, saw the text, "notin chambering and wantonness," etc., which seemed directly sent to his address, and laid the innerstorm to rest forever.[91] Augustine's psychological genius has given an account of the trouble ofhaving a divided self which has never been surpassed.
[91] Louis Gourdon (Essai sur la Conversion77 de Saint Augustine, Paris, Fischbacher, 1900) hasshown by an analysis of Augustine's writings immediately after the date of his conversion (A. D.
386) that the account he gives in the Confessions80 is premature81. The crisis in the garden marked adefinitive conversion from his former life, but it was to the neo-platonic spiritualism and only ahalfway stage toward Christianity. The latter he appears not fully82 and radically83 to have embraceduntil four years more had passed.
"The new will which I began to have was not yet strong enough to overcome that other will,strengthened by long indulgence. So these two wills, one old, one new, one carnal, the otherspiritual, contended with each other and disturbed my soul. I understood by my own experiencewhat I had read, 'flesh lusteth against spirit, and spirit against flesh.' It was myself indeed in boththe wills, yet more myself in that which I approved in myself than in that which I disapproved85 inmyself. Yet it was through myself that habit had attained86 so fierce a mastery over me, because Ihad willingly come whither I willed not. Still bound to earth, I refused, O God, to fight on thy side,as much afraid to be freed from all bonds, as I ought to have feared being trammeled by them.
"Thus the thoughts by which I meditated87 upon thee were like the efforts of one who wouldawake, but being overpowered with sleepiness is soon asleep again. Often does a man when heavysleepiness is on his limbs defer88 to shake it off, and though not approving it, encourage it; even so Iwas sure it was better to surrender to thy love than to yield to my own lusts89, yet though the formercourse convinced me, the latter pleased and held me bound. There was naught90 in me to answer thycall 'Awake, thou sleeper,' but only drawling, drowsy91 words, 'Presently; yes, presently; wait a littlewhile.' But the 'presently' had no 'present,' and the 'little while' grew long. . . . For I was afraid thouwouldst hear me too soon, and heal me at once of my disease of lust84, which I wished to satiaterather than to see extinguished. With what lashes92 of words did I not scourge93 my own soul. Yet itshrank back; it refused, though it had no excuse to offer. . . . I said within myself: 'Come, let it bedone now,' and as I said it, I was on the point of the resolve. I all but did it, yet I did not do it. AndI made another effort, and almost succeeded, yet I did not reach it, and did not grasp it, hesitatingto die to death, and live to life, and the evil to which I was so wonted held me more than the betterlife I had not tried."[92]
[92] Confessions, Book VIII., Chaps. v., vii., xi., abridged94.
There could be no more perfect description of the divided will, when the higher wishes lack justthat last acuteness, that touch of explosive intensity95, of dynamogenic quality (to use the slang ofthe psychologists), that enables them to burst their shell, and make irruption efficaciously into lifeand quell96 the lower tendencies forever. In a later lecture we shall have much to say about thishigher excitability.
I find another good description of the divided will in the autobiography of Henry Alline, theNova Scotian evangelist, of whose melancholy I read a brief account in my last lecture. The pooryouth's sins were, as you will see, of the most harmless order, yet they interfered97 with what provedto be his truest vocation98, so they gave him great distress99.
"I was now very moral in my life, but found no rest of conscience. I now began to be esteemed100 inyoung company, who knew nothing of my mind all this while, and their esteem101 began to be a snareto my soul, for I soon began to be fond of carnal mirth, though I still flattered myself that if I didnot get drunk, nor curse, nor swear, there would be no sin in frolicking and carnal mirth, and Ithought God would indulge young people with some (what I called simple or civil) recreation. Istill kept a round of duties, and would not suffer myself to run into any open vices102, and so gotalong very well in time of health and prosperity, but when I was distressed103 or threatened bysickness, death, or heavy storms of thunder, my religion would not do, and I found there wassomething wanting, and would begin to repent41 my going so much to frolics, but when the distresswas over, the devil and my own wicked heart, with the solicitations of my associates, and myfondness for young company, were such strong allurements104, I would again give way, and thus I gotto be very wild and rude, at the same time kept up my rounds of secret prayer and reading; butGod, not willing I should destroy myself, still followed me with his calls, and moved with suchpower upon my conscience, that I could not satisfy myself with my diversions, and in the midst ofmy mirth sometimes would have such a sense of my lost and undone105 condition, that I would wishmyself from the company, and after it was over, when I went home, would make many promisesthat I would attend no more on these frolics, and would beg forgiveness for hours and hours; butwhen I came to have the temptation again, I would give way: no sooner would I hear the music anddrink a glass of wine, but I would find my mind elevated and soon proceed to any sort ofmerriment or diversion, that I thought was not debauched or openly vicious; but when I returnedfrom my carnal mirth I felt as guilty as ever, and could sometimes not close my eyes for somehours after I had gone to my bed. I was one of the most unhappy creatures on earth.
"Sometimes I would leave the company (often speaking to the fiddler to cease from playing, as ifI was tired), and go out and walk about crying and praying, as if my very heart would break, andbeseeching God that he would not cut me off, nor give me up to hardness of heart. Oh, whatunhappy hours and nights I thus wore away! When I met sometimes with merry companions, andmy heart was ready to sink, I would labor107 to put on as cheerful a countenance108 as possible, that theymight not distrust anything, and sometimes would begin some discourse109 with young men or youngwomen on purpose, or propose a merry song, lest the distress of my soul would be discovered, ormistrusted, when at the same time I would then rather have been in a wilderness110 in exile, than withthem or any of their pleasures or enjoyments111. Thus for many months when I was in company? Iwould act the hypocrite and feign112 a merry heart but at the same time would endeavor as much as Icould to shun113 their company, oh wretched and unhappy mortal that I was! Everything I did, andwherever I went, I was still in a storm and yet I continued to be the chief contriver114 and ringleaderof the frolics for many months after; though it was a toil115 and torment116 to attend them; but the deviland my own wicked heart drove me about like a slave, telling me that I must do this and do that,and bear this and bear that, and turn here and turn there, to keep my credit up, and retain theesteem of my associates: and all this while I continued as strict as possible in my duties, and left nostone unturned to pacify117 my conscience, watching even against my thoughts, and prayingcontinually wherever I went: for I did not think there was any sin in my conduct, when I wasamong carnal company, because I did not take any satisfaction there, but only followed it, Ithought, for sufficient reasons.
"But still, all that I did or could do, conscience would roar night and day."Saint Augustine and Alline both emerged into the smooth waters of inner unity118 and peace, and Ishall next ask you to consider more closely some of the peculiarities119 of the process of unification,when it occurs. It may come gradually, or it may occur abruptly121; it may come through alteredfeelings, or through altered powers of action; or it may come through new intellectual insights, orthrough experiences which we shall later have to designate as 'mystical.' However it come, itbrings a characteristic sort of relief; and never such extreme relief as when it is cast into thereligious mould. Happiness! happiness! religion is only one of the ways in which men gain thatgift. Easily, permanently122, and successfully, it often transforms the most intolerable misery124 into theprofoundest and most enduring happiness.
But to find religion is only one out of many ways of reaching unity; and the process ofremedying inner incompleteness and reducing inner discord15 is a general psychological process,which may take place with any sort of mental material, and need not necessarily assume thereligious form. In judging of the religious types of regeneration which we are about to study, it isimportant to recognize that they are only one species of a genus that contains other types as well.
For example, the new birth may be away from religion into incredulity; or it may be from moralscrupulosity into freedom and license125; or it may be produced by the irruption into the individual'slife of some new stimulus126 or passion, such as love, ambition, cupidity127, revenge, or patrioticdevotion. In all these instances we have precisely128 the same psychological form of event,--afirmness, stability, and equilibrium129 <173> succeeding a period of storm and stress andinconsistency. In these non-religious cases the new man may also be born either gradually orsuddenly.
The French philosopher Jouffroy has left an eloquent130 memorial of his own "counter-conversion,"as the transition from orthodoxy to infidelity has been well styled by Mr. Starbuck. Jouffroy'sdoubts had long harassed131 him; but he dates his final crisis from a certain night when his disbeliefgrew fixed and stable, and where the immediate78 result was sadness at the illusions he had lost.
"I shall never forget that night of December," writes Jouffroy, "in which the veil that concealedfrom me my own incredulity was torn. I hear again my steps in that narrow naked chamber76 wherelong after the hour of sleep had come I had the habit of walking up and down. I see again thatmoon, half-veiled by clouds, which now and again illuminated132 the frigid133 window-panes. The hoursof the night flowed on and I did not note their passage. Anxiously I followed my thoughts, as fromlayer to layer they descended134 towards the foundation of my consciousness, and, scattering135 one byone all the illusions which until then had screened its windings136 from my view, made them everymoment more clearly visible.
"Vainly I clung to these last beliefs as a shipwrecked sailor clings to the fragments of his vessel;vainly, frightened at the unknown void in which I was about to float, I turned with them towardsmy childhood, my family, my country, all that was dear and sacred to me: the inflexible137 current ofmy thought was too strong--parents, family, memory, beliefs, it forced me to let go of everything.
The investigation138 went on more obstinate139 and more severe as it drew near its term, and did not stopuntil the end was reached. I knew then that in the depth of my mind nothing was left that stooderect.
"This moment was a frightful140 one; and when towards morning I threw myself exhausted141 on mybed, I seemed to feel my earlier life, so smiling and so full, go out like a fire, and before meanother life opened, sombre and unpeopled, where in future I must live alone, alone with my fatalthought which had exiled me thither142, and which I was tempted143 to curse. The days which followedthis discovery were the saddest of my life."[93]
[93] Th. Jouffroy: Nouveaux Melanges144 philosophiques, 2me edition, p. 83. I add two other casesof counter-conversion dating from a certain moment. The first is from Professor Starbuck'smanuscript collection, and the narrator is a woman.
"Away down in the bottom of my heart, I believe I was always more or less skeptical145 about'God;' skepticism grew as an undercurrent, all through my early youth, but it was controlled andcovered by the emotional elements in my religious growth. When I was sixteen I joined the churchand was asked if I loved God. I replied 'Yes,' as was customary and expected. But instantly with aflash something spoke within me, 'No, you do not.' I was haunted for a long time with shame andremorse for my falsehood and for my wickedness in not loving God, mingled146 with fear that theremight be an avenging147 God who would punish me in some terrible way. . . . At nineteen, I had anattack of tonsilitis. Before I had quite recovered, I heard told a story of a brute148 who had kicked hiswife down-stairs, and then continued the operation until she became insensible. I felt the horror ofthe thing keenly. Instantly this thought flashed through my mind: 'I have no use for a God whopermits such things.' This experience was followed by months of stoical indifference149 to the God ofmy previous life, mingled with feelings of positive dislike and a somewhat proud defiance150 of him.
I still thought there might be a God. If so he would probably damn me, but I should have to standit. I felt very little fear and no desire to propitiate151 him. I have never had any personal relations withhim since this painful experience."The second case exemplifies how small an additional stimulus will overthrow152 the mind into anew state of equilibrium when the process of preparation and incubation has proceeded far enough.
It is like the proverbial last straw added to the camel's burden, or that touch of a needle whichmakes the salt in a supersaturated fluid suddenly begin to crystallize out.
Tolstoy writes: "S., a frank and intelligent man, told me as follows how he ceased to believe:-"He was twenty-six years old when one day on a hunting expedition, the time for sleep havingcome, he set himself to pray according to the custom he had held from childhood.
"His brother, who was hunting with him, lay upon the hay and looked at him. When S. hadfinished his prayer and was turning to sleep, the brother said, 'Do you still keep up that thing?'
Nothing more was said. But since that day, now more than thirty years ago, S. has never prayedagain; he never takes communion, and does not go to church. All this, not because he becameacquainted with convictions of his brother which he then and there adopted; not because he madeany new resolution in his soul, but merely because the words spoken by his brother were like thelight push of a finger against a leaning wall already about to tumble by its own weight. Thesewords but showed him that the place wherein he supposed religion dwelt in him had long beenempty, and that the sentences he uttered, the crosses and bows which he made during his prayer,were actions with no inner sense. Having once seized their absurdity153, he could no longer keepthem up." Ma Confession79, p. 8.
I subjoin an additional document which has come into my possession, and which represents in avivid way what is probably a very frequent sort of conversion, if the opposite of 'falling in love,'
falling out of love, may be so termed. Falling in love also conforms frequently to this type, a latentprocess of unconscious preparation often preceding a sudden awakening154 to the fact that themischief is irretrievably done. The free and easy tone in this narrative155 gives it a sincerity156 thatspeaks for itself.
"For two years of this time I went through a very bad experience, which almost drove me mad. Ihad fallen violently in love with a girl who, young as she was, had a spirit of coquetry like a cat.
As I look back on her now, I hate her, and wonder how I could ever have fallen so low as to beworked upon to such an extent by her attractions. Nevertheless, I fell into a regular fever, couldthink of nothing else; whenever I was alone, I pictured her attractions, and spent most of the timewhen I should have been working, in recalling our previous interviews, and imagining futureconversations. She was very pretty, good humored, and jolly to the last degree, and intenselypleased with my admiration157. Would give me no decided62 answer yes or no and the queer thingabout it was that whilst pursuing her for her hand, I secretly knew all along that she was unfit to bea wife for me, and that she never would say yes. Although for a year we took our meals at the sameboarding-house, so that I saw her continually and familiarly, our closer relations had to be largelyon the sly, and this fact, together with my jealousy158 of another one of her male admirers and myown conscience despising me for my uncontrollable weakness, made me so nervous and sleeplessthat I really thought I should become insane. I understand well those young men murdering theirsweethearts, which appear so often in the papers. Nevertheless I did love her passionately159, and insome ways she did deserve it.
"The queer thing was the sudden and unexpected way in which it all stopped. I was going to mywork after breakfast one morning, thinking as usual of her and of my misery, when, just as if someoutside power laid hold of me, I found myself turning round and almost running to my room,where I immediately got out all the relics160 of her which I possessed161, including some hair, all hernotes and letters and ambrotypes on glass. The former I made a fire of, the latter I actually crushedbeneath my heel, in a sort of fierce joy of revenge and punishment. I now loathed162 and despised heraltogether, and as for myself I felt as if a load of disease had suddenly been removed from me.
That was the end. I never spoke to her or wrote to her again in all the subsequent years, and I havenever had a single moment of loving thought towards one for so many months entirely163 filled myheart. In fact, I have always rather hated her memory, though now I can see that I had goneunnecessarily far in that direction. At any rate, from that happy morning onward164 I regainedpossession of my own proper soul, and have never since fallen into any similar trap."This seems to me an unusually clear example of two different levels of personality, inconsistentin their dictates165, yet so well balanced against each other as for a long time to fill the life withdiscord and dissatisfaction. At last, not gradually, but in a sudden crisis, the unstable166 equilibrium isresolved, and this happens so unexpectedly that it is as if, to use the writer's words, "some outsidepower laid hold."Professor Starbuck gives an analogous167 case, and a converse168 case of hatred169 suddenly turning intolove, in his Psychology of Religion, p. 141. Compare the other highly curious instances which hegives on pp. 137-144, of sudden non-religious alterations170 of habit or character. He seems right in conceiving all such sudden changes as results of special cerebral171 functions unconsciouslydeveloping until they are ready to play a controlling part when they make irruption into theconscious life. When we treat of sudden 'conversion,' I shall make as much use as I can of thishypothesis of subconscious incubation.
<175> In John Foster's Essay on Decision of Character, there is an account of a case of suddenconversion to avarice172, which is illustrative enough to quote:-Ayoung man, it appears, "wasted, in two or three years, a large patrimony173 in profligate174 revelswith a number of worthless associates who called themselves his friends, and who, when his lastmeans were exhausted, treated him of course with neglect or contempt. Reduced to absolute want,he one day went out of the house with an intention to put an end to his life, but wandering awhilealmost unconsciously, he came to the brow of an eminence175 which overlooked what were lately hisestates. Here he sat down, and remained fixed in thought a number of hours, at the end of which hesprang from the ground with a vehement176, exulting177 emotion. He had formed his resolution, whichwas, that all these estates should be his again; he had formed his plan, too, which he instantlybegan to execute. He walked hastily forward, determined178 to seize the first opportunity, of howeverhumble a kind, to gain any money, though it were ever so despicable a trifle, and resolvedabsolutely not to spend, if he could help it, a farthing of whatever he might obtain. The first thingthat drew his attention was a heap of coals shot out of carts on the pavement before a house. Heoffered himself to shovel179 or wheel them into the place where they were to be laid, and wasemployed.
He received a few pence for the labor; and then, in pursuance of the saving part of his planrequested some small gratuity180 of meat and drink, which was given <176> him. He then looked outfor the next thing that might chance; and went, with indefatigable181 industry, through a succession ofservile employments in different places, of longer and shorter duration, still scrupulous182 inavoiding, as far as possible, the expense of a penny. He promptly183 seized every opportunity whichcould advance his design, without regarding the meanness of occupation or appearance. By thismethod he had gained, after a considerable time, money enough to purchase in order to sell again afew cattle, of which he had taken pains to understand the value. He speedily but cautiously turnedhis first gains into second advantages; retained without a single deviation184 his extreme parsimony;and thus advanced by degrees into larger transactions and incipient185 wealth. I did not hear, or haveforgotten, the continued course of his life, but the final result was, that he more than recovered hislost possessions, and died an inveterate186 miser123, worth L60,000."[94]
[94] Op. cit., Letter III., abridged.
Let me turn now to the kind of case, the religious case, namely, that immediately concerns us.
Here is one of the simplest possible type, an account of the conversion to the systematic187 religion ofhealthy-mindedness of a man who must already have been naturally of the healthy-minded type. Itshows how, when the fruit is ripe, a touch will make it fall.
Mr. Horace Fletcher, in his little book called Menticulture, relates that a friend with whom hewas talking of the self-control attained by the Japanese through their practice of the Buddhistdiscipline said:-"'You must first get rid of anger and worry.' 'But,' said I, 'is that possible?' 'Yes,' replied he; 'it ispossible to the Japanese, and ought to be possible to us.'
"On my way back I could think of nothing else but the words get rid, get rid'; and the idea musthave continued to possess me during my sleeping hours, for the first consciousness in the morningbrought back the same thought, with the revelation of a discovery, which framed itself into thereasoning, 'If it is possible to get rid of anger and worry, why is it necessary to have them at all?' Ifelt the strength of the argument, and at once accepted the reasoning. The baby had discovered thatit could walk. It would scorn to creep any longer.
"From the instant I realized that these cancer spots of worry and anger were removable, they leftme. With the discovery of their weakness they were exorcised. From that time life has had anentirely different aspect.
"Although from that moment the possibility and desirability of freedom from the depressingpassions has been a reality to me, it took me some months to feel absolute security in my newposition; but, as the usual occasions for worry and anger have presented themselves over and overagain, and I have been unable to feel them in the slightest degree, I no longer dread52 or guardagainst them, and I am amazed at my increased energy and vigor188 of mind, at my strength to meetsituations of all kinds and at my disposition189 to love and appreciate everything.
"I have had occasion to travel more than ten thousand miles by rail since that morning. The samePullman porter, conductor, hotel-waiter, peddler, book-agent, cabman, and others who wereformerly a source of annoyance191 and irritation192 have been met, but I am not conscious of a singleincivility. All at once the whole world has turned good to me. I have become, as it were, sensitiveonly to the rays of good.
"I could recount many experiences which prove a brand-new condition of mind, but one will besufficient. Without the slightest feeling of annoyance or impatience193, I have seen a train that I hadplanned to take with a good deal of interested and pleasurable anticipation194 move out of the stationwithout me, because my baggage did not arrive. The porter from the hotel came running andpanting into the station just as the train pulled out of sight. When he saw me, he looked as if hefeared a scolding. and began to tell of being blocked in a crowded street and unable to get out.
When he had finished, I said to him: 'It doesn't matter at all, you couldn't help it, so we will tryagain to-morrow. Here is your fee, I am sorry you had all this trouble in earning it.' The look ofsurprise that came over his face was so filled with pleasure that I was repaid on the spot for thedelay in my departure. Next day he would not accept a cent for the service, and he and I are friendsfor life.
"During the first weeks of my experience I was on guard only against worry and anger; but, inthe mean time, having noticed the absence of the other depressing and dwarfing195 passions, I beganto trace a relationship, until I was convinced that they are all growths from the two roots I havespecified. I have felt the freedom now for so long a time that I am sure of my relation toward it; and I could no more harbor any of the thieving and depressing influences that once I nursed as aheritage of humanity than a fop would voluntarily wallow in a filthy196 gutter197.
"There is no doubt in my mind that pure Christianity and pure Buddhism198, and the MentalSciences and all Religions fundamentally teach what has been a discovery to me; but none of themhave presented it in the light of a simple and easy process of elimination. At one time I wonderedif the elimination would not yield to indifference and sloth199. In my experience, the contrary is theresult. I feel such an increased desire to do something useful that it seems as if I were a boy againand the energy for play had returned. I could fight as readily as (and better than) ever, if there wereoccasion for it. It does not make one a coward. It can't, since fear is one of the things eliminated. Inotice the absence of timidity in the presence of any audience. When a boy, I was standing67 under atree which was struck by lightning, and received a shock from the effects of which I never knewexemption until I had dissolved partnership200 with worry. Since then, lightning and thunder havebeen encountered under conditions which would formerly190 have caused great depression anddiscomfort, without [my] experiencing a trace of either. Surprise is also greatly modified, and oneis less liable to become startled by unexpected sights or noises.
"As far as I am individually concerned, I am not bothering myself at present as to what theresults of this emancipated201 condition may be. I have no doubt that the perfect health aimed at byChristian Science may be one of the possibilities, for I note a marked improvement in the way mystomach does its duty in assimilating the food I give it to handle, and I am sure it works better tothe sound of a song than under the friction202 of a frown. Neither am I wasting any of this precioustime formulating203 an idea of a future existence or a future Heaven. The Heaven that I have withinmyself is as attractive as any that has been promised or that I can imagine; and I am willing to letthe growth lead where it will, as long as the anger and their brood have no part in misguidingit."[95]
[95] H. Fletcher: Menticulture, or the A-B-C of True Living, New York and Chicago, 1899, pp.
26, 36, abridged.
The older medicine used to speak of two ways, lysis and crisis, one gradual, the other abrupt120, inwhich one might recover from a bodily disease. In the spiritual realm there are also two ways, onegradual, the other sudden, in which inner unification may occur. Tolstoy and Bunyan may againserve us as examples, examples, as it happens, of the gradual way, though it must be confessed atthe outset that it is hard to follow these windings of the hearts of others, and one feels that theirwords do not reveal their total secret.
Howe'er this be, Tolstoy, pursuing his unending questioning, <181> seemed to come to oneinsight after another. First he perceived that his conviction that life was meaningless took only thisfinite life into account. He was looking for the value of one finite term in that of another, and thewhole result could only be one of those indeterminate equations in mathematics which end withinfinity. Yet this is as far as the reasoning intellect by itself can go, unless irrational49 sentiment orfaith brings in the infinite. Believe in the infinite as common people do, and life grows possibleagain.
"Since mankind has existed, wherever life has been, there also has been the faith that gave thepossibility of living. Faith is the sense of life, that sense by virtue204 of which man does not destroyhimself, but continues to live on. It is the force whereby we live. If Man did not believe that hemust live for something, he would not live at all. The idea of an infinite God, of the divinity of thesoul, of the union of men's actions with God--these are ideas elaborated in the infinite secret depthsof human thought. They are ideas without which there would be no life, without which I myself,"said Tolstoy, "would not exist. I began to see that I had no right to rely on my individual reasoningand neglect these answers given by faith, for they are the only answers to the question."Yet how believe as the common people believe, steeped as they are in grossest superstition205? It isimpossible--but yet their life! their life! It is normal. It is happy! It is an answer to the question!
Little by little, Tolstoy came to the settled conviction--he says it took him two years to arrivethere--that his trouble had not been with life in general, not with the common life of common men,but with the life of the upper, intellectual, artistic206 classes, the life which he had personally alwaysled, the cerebral life, the life of conventionality, artificiality, and personal ambition. He had beenliving wrongly and must change. To work for animal needs, to abjure207 lies and vanities, to relievecommon wants, to be simple, to believe in God, therein lay happiness again.
"I remember," he says, "one day in early spring, I was alone in the forest, lending my ear to itsmysterious noises. I listened, and my thought went back to what for these three years it always wasbusy with--the quest of God. But the idea of him, I said, how did I ever come by the idea?
"And again there arose in me, with this thought, glad aspirations towards life. Everything in meawoke and received a meaning. . . .Why do I look farther? a voice within me asked. He is there:
he, without whom one cannot live. To acknowledge God and to live are one and the same thing.
God is what life is. Well, then! live, seek God, and there will be no life without him. . . .
"After this, things cleared up within me and about me better than ever, and the light has neverwholly died away. I was saved from suicide. Just how or when the change took place I cannot tell.
But as insensibly and gradually as the force of life had been annulled208 within me, and I had reachedmy moral death-bed, just as gradually and imperceptibly did the energy of life come back. Andwhat was strange was that this energy that came back was nothing new. It was my ancient juvenileforce of faith, the belief that the sole purpose of my life was to be BETTER. I gave up the life ofthe conventional world, recognizing it to be no life, but a parody209 on life, which its superfluitiessimply keep us from comprehending,"--and Tolstoy thereupon embraced the life of the peasants,and has felt right and happy, or at least relatively210 so, ever since.[96]
[96] I have considerably211 abridged Tolstoy's words in my translation.
As I interpret his melancholy, then, it was not merely an accidental vitiation of his humors,though it was doubtless also that. It was logically called for by the clash between his innercharacter and his outer activities and aims. Although a literary artist, Tolstoy was one of thoseprimitive oaks of men to whom the superfluities and insincerities, the cupidities, complications,and cruelties of our polite civilization are profoundly unsatisfying, and for whom the eternalveracities lie with more natural and animal things. His crisis was the getting of his soul in order,the discovery of its genuine habitat and vocation, the escape from falsehoods into what for him were ways of truth. It was a case of heterogeneous personality tardily212 and slowly finding its unityand level. And though not many of us can imitate Tolstoy, not having enough, perhaps, of theaboriginal human marrow213 in our bones, most of us may at least feel as if it might be better for us ifwe could.
Bunyan's recovery seems to have been even slower. For years together he was alternatelyhaunted with texts of Scripture214, now up and now down, but at last with an ever growing relief inhis salvation7 through the blood of Christ.
"My peace would be in and out twenty times a day; comfort now and trouble presently; peacenow and before I could go a furlong as full of guilt106 and fear as ever heart could hold." When agood text comes home to him, "This," he writes, "gave me good encouragement for the space oftwo or three hours"; or "This was a good day to me, I hope I shall not forget it", or "The glory ofthese words was then so weighty on me that I was ready to swoon as I sat; yet, not with grief andtrouble, but with solid joy and peace"; or "This made a strange seizure215 on my spirit; it brought lightwith it, and commanded a silence in my heart of all those tumultuous thoughts that before did use,like masterless hell-hounds, to roar and bellow216 and make a hideous217 noise within me. It showed methat Jesus Christ had not quite forsaken218 and cast off my Soul."Such periods accumulate until he can write: "And now remained only the hinder part of thetempest, for the thunder was gone beyond me, only some drops would still remain, that now andthen would fall upon me";--and at last: "Now did my chains fall off my legs indeed; I was loosedfrom my afflictions and irons; my temptations also fled away; so that from that time, thosedreadful Scriptures219 of God left off to trouble me; now went I also home rejoicing, for the grace andlove of God. . . . Now could I see myself in Heaven and Earth at once; in Heaven by my Christ, bymy Head, by my Righteousness and Life, though on Earth by my body or person. . . . Christ was aprecious Christ to my soul that night; I could scarce lie in my bed for joy and peace and triumphthrough Christ."Bunyan became a minister of the gospel, and in spite of his neurotic220 constitution, and of thetwelve years he lay in prison for his non-conformity, his life was turned to active use. He was apeacemaker and doer of good, and the immortal221 Allegory which he wrote has brought the veryspirit of religious patience home to English hearts.
But neither Bunyan nor Tolstoy could become what we have called healthy-minded. They haddrunk too deeply of the cup of bitterness ever to forget its taste, and their redemption is into auniverse two stories deep. Each of them realized a good which broke the effective edge of hissadness; yet the sadness was preserved as a minor222 ingredient in the heart of the faith by which itwas overcome. The fact of interest for us is that as a matter of fact they could and did findSOMETHING welling up in the inner reaches of their consciousness, by which such extremesadness could be overcome. Tolstoy does well to talk of it as THAT BY WHICH MEN LIVE; forthat is exactly what it is, a stimulus, an excitement, a faith, a force that re-infuses the positivewillingness to live, even in full presence of the evil perceptions that erewhile made life seemunbearable. For Tolstoy's perceptions of evil appear within their sphere to have remainedunmodified. His later works show him implacable to the whole system of official values: theignobility of fashionable life; the infamies223 of empire; the spuriousness of the church, the vainconceit of the professions; the meannesses and cruelties that go with great success; and every other pompous224 crime and lying institution of this world. To all patience with such things his experiencehas been for him a perroanent ministry225 of death.
Bunyan also leaves this world to the enemy.
"I must first pass a sentence of death," he says, "upon everything that can properly be called athing of this life, even to reckon myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyments, and all,as dead to me, and myself as dead to them; to trust in God through Christ, as touching226 the world tocome, and as touching this world, to count the grave my house, to make my bed in darkness, and tosay to corruption227, Thou art my father and to the worm, Thou art my mother and sister. . . . Theparting with my wife and my poor children hath often been to me as the pulling of my flesh frommy bones, especially my poor blind child who lay nearer my heart than all I had besides. Poorchild, thought I, what sorrow art thou like to have for thy portion in this world! Thou must bebeaten, must beg, suffer hunger, cold, nakedness, and a thousand calamities228, though I cannot nowendure that the wind should blow upon thee. But yet I must venture you all with God, though itgoeth to the quick to leave you."[97]
[97] In my quotations229 from Bunyan I have omitted certain intervening portions of the text.
The "hue230 of resolution" is there, but the full flood of ecstatic liberation seems never to havepoured over poor John Bunyan's soul.
These examples may suffice to acquaint us in a general way with the phenomenon technicallycalled "Conversion." In the next lecture I shall invite you to study its peculiarities andconcomitants in some detail.
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dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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pervasive
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| adj.普遍的；遍布的，(到处)弥漫的；渗透性的 | |
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elimination
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| n.排除，消除，消灭 | |
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insufficient
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| adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的 | |
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lurks
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| n.潜在，潜伏；（lurk的复数形式）vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的第三人称单数形式） | |
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lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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radical
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| n.激进份子，原子团，根号；adj.根本的，激进的，彻底的 | |
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disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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paradox
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| n.似乎矛盾却正确的说法；自相矛盾的人(物) | |
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inversion
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| n.反向，倒转，倒置 | |
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measles
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| n.麻疹，风疹，包虫病，痧子 | |
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discordancy
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| n.不一致，不和 | |
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discord
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| n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐 | |
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heterogeneity
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| n.异质性；多相性 | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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unified
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| (unify 的过去式和过去分词)； 统一的； 统一标准的； 一元化的 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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intoxicate
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| vt.使喝醉，使陶醉，使欣喜若狂 | |
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psychology
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| n.心理，心理学，心理状态 | |
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harmonious
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| adj.和睦的，调和的，和谐的，协调的 | |
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inconvenient
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| adj.不方便的，令人感到麻烦的 | |
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autobiography
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| n.自传 | |
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unifies
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psychic
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| n.对超自然力敏感的人；adj.有超自然力的 | |
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untied
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| 松开，解开( untie的过去式和过去分词 )； 解除，使自由； 解决 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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combative
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| adj.好战的；好斗的 | |
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disapproval
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| n.反对，不赞成 | |
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jeered
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| v.嘲笑( jeer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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doughty
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| adj.勇猛的，坚强的 | |
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snail
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| n.蜗牛 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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havoc
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| n.大破坏，浩劫，大混乱，大杂乱 | |
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incompatible
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| adj.不相容的，不协调的，不相配的 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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heterogeneous
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| adj.庞杂的；异类的 | |
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antagonistic
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| adj.敌对的 | |
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corroboration
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| n.进一步的证实，进一步的证据 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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furrow
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| n.沟；垄沟；轨迹；车辙；皱纹 | |
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discrepant
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| 差异的 | |
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insistent
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| adj.迫切的，坚持的 | |
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irrational
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| adj.无理性的，失去理性的 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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scruples
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| n.良心上的不安( scruple的名词复数 )；顾虑，顾忌v.感到于心不安，有顾忌( scruple的第三人称单数 ) | |
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dread
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dreads
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| n.恐惧，畏惧( dread的名词复数 )；令人恐惧的事物v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的第三人称单数 ) | |
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beset
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| v.镶嵌；困扰，包围 | |
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thoroughly
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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obsession
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| n.困扰，无法摆脱的思想(或情感) | |
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impulsively
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subconscious
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| n./adj.潜意识(的)，下意识(的) | |
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baker
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| n.面包师 | |
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diversified
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| adj.多样化的，多种经营的v.使多样化，多样化( diversify的过去式和过去分词 )；进入新的商业领域 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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unifying
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| 使联合( unify的现在分词 )； 使相同； 使一致； 统一 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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sublimes
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| [医]使升华，使纯化 | |
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sable
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| n.黑貂；adj.黑色的 | |
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aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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unintelligible
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| adj.无法了解的，难解的，莫明其妙的 | |
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discordant
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| adj.不调和的 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间，寝室；会议厅；议院；会所 | |
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conversion
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| n.转化，转换，转变 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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confessions
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| n.承认( confession的名词复数 )；自首；声明；（向神父的）忏悔 | |
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81
premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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82
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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83
radically
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| ad.根本地，本质地 | |
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84
lust
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| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
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85
disapproved
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| v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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86
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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87
meditated
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| 深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 )； 内心策划，考虑 | |
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88
defer
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| vt.推迟，拖延；vi.(to)遵从，听从，服从 | |
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89
lusts
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| 贪求（lust的第三人称单数形式） | |
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90
naught
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| n.无，零 [=nought] | |
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91
drowsy
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| adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的 | |
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92
lashes
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| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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93
scourge
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| n.灾难，祸害；v.蹂躏 | |
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94
abridged
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| 削减的，删节的 | |
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95
intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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96
quell
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| v.压制，平息，减轻 | |
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97
interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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98
vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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99
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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100
esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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101
esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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102
vices
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| 缺陷( vice的名词复数 )； 恶习； 不道德行为； 台钳 | |
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103
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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104
allurements
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| n.诱惑( allurement的名词复数 )；吸引；诱惑物；有诱惑力的事物 | |
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105
undone
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| a.未做完的，未完成的 | |
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106
guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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107
labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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108
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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109
discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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110
wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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111
enjoyments
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| 愉快( enjoyment的名词复数 )； 令人愉快的事物； 享有； 享受 | |
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112
feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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113
shun
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| vt.避开，回避，避免 | |
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114
contriver
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| 发明者，创制者，筹划者 | |
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115
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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116
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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117
pacify
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| vt.使(某人)平静(或息怒)；抚慰 | |
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118
unity
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| n.团结，联合，统一；和睦，协调 | |
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119
peculiarities
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| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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120
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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121
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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122
permanently
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| adv.永恒地，永久地，固定不变地 | |
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123
miser
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| n.守财奴，吝啬鬼 (adj.miserly) | |
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124
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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125
license
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| n.执照，许可证，特许；v.许可，特许 | |
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126
stimulus
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| n.刺激，刺激物，促进因素，引起兴奋的事物 | |
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127
cupidity
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| n.贪心，贪财 | |
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128
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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129
equilibrium
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| n.平衡，均衡，相称，均势，平静 | |
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130
eloquent
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| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
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131
harassed
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| adj. 疲倦的，厌烦的 动词harass的过去式和过去分词 | |
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132
illuminated
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| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
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133
frigid
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| adj.寒冷的，凛冽的；冷淡的；拘禁的 | |
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134
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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135
scattering
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| n.[物]散射；散乱，分散；在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的；分散在不同范围的；广泛扩散的；（选票）数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式)；散布；驱散 | |
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136
windings
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| （道路、河流等）蜿蜒的，弯曲的( winding的名词复数 )； 缠绕( wind的现在分词 )； 卷绕； 转动（把手） | |
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137
inflexible
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| adj.不可改变的，不受影响的，不屈服的 | |
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138
investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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139
obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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140
frightful
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| adj.可怕的；讨厌的 | |
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141
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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142
thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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143
tempted
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| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
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144
melanges
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| n.混合物( melange的名词复数 )；大杂烩；杂乱的一群；混色纱 | |
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145
skeptical
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| adj.怀疑的，多疑的 | |
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146
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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147
avenging
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| adj.报仇的，复仇的v.为…复仇，报…之仇( avenge的现在分词 )；为…报复 | |
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148
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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149
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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150
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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151
propitiate
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| v.慰解，劝解 | |
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152
overthrow
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| v.推翻，打倒，颠覆；n.推翻，瓦解，颠覆 | |
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153
absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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154
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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155
narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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156
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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157
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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158
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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159
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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160
relics
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| [pl.］n.遗物，遗迹，遗产；遗体，尸骸 | |
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161
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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162
loathed
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| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
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163
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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164
onward
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| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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165
dictates
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| n.命令，规定，要求( dictate的名词复数 )v.大声讲或读( dictate的第三人称单数 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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166
unstable
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| adj.不稳定的，易变的 | |
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167
analogous
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| adj.相似的；类似的 | |
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168
converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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169
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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170
alterations
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| n.改动( alteration的名词复数 )；更改；变化；改变 | |
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171
cerebral
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| adj.脑的，大脑的；有智力的，理智型的 | |
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172
avarice
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| n.贪婪；贪心 | |
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173
patrimony
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| n.世袭财产，继承物 | |
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174
profligate
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| adj.行为不检的；n.放荡的人，浪子，肆意挥霍者 | |
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175
eminence
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| n.卓越，显赫；高地，高处；名家 | |
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176
vehement
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| adj.感情强烈的；热烈的；(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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177
exulting
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| vi. 欢欣鼓舞，狂喜 | |
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178
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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179
shovel
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| n.铁锨，铲子，一铲之量；v.铲，铲出 | |
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180
gratuity
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| n.赏钱，小费 | |
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181
indefatigable
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| adj.不知疲倦的，不屈不挠的 | |
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182
scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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183
promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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184
deviation
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| n.背离，偏离；偏差，偏向；离题 | |
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185
incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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186
inveterate
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| adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的 | |
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187
systematic
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| adj.有系统的，有计划的，有方法的 | |
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188
vigor
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| n.活力，精力，元气 | |
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189
disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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190
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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191
annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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192
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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193
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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194
anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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195
dwarfing
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| n.矮化病 | |
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196
filthy
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| adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的 | |
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197
gutter
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| n.沟，街沟，水槽，檐槽，贫民窟 | |
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198
Buddhism
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| n.佛教（教义） | |
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199
sloth
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| n.[动]树懒；懒惰，懒散 | |
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200
partnership
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| n.合作关系，伙伴关系 | |
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201
emancipated
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| adj.被解放的，不受约束的v.解放某人（尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚）( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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202
friction
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| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
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203
formulating
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| v.构想出( formulate的现在分词 )；规划；确切地阐述；用公式表示 | |
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204
virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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205
superstition
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| n.迷信，迷信行为 | |
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206
artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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207
abjure
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| v.发誓放弃 | |
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208
annulled
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| v.宣告无效( annul的过去式和过去分词 )；取消；使消失；抹去 | |
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209
parody
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| n.打油诗文，诙谐的改编诗文，拙劣的模仿；v.拙劣模仿，作模仿诗文 | |
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210
relatively
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| adv.比较...地，相对地 | |
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211
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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212
tardily
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| adv.缓慢 | |
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213
marrow
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| n.骨髓；精华；活力 | |
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214
scripture
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| n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段 | |
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215
seizure
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| n.没收；占有；抵押 | |
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216
bellow
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| v.吼叫，怒吼；大声发出，大声喝道 | |
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217
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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218
Forsaken
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| adj. 被遗忘的, 被抛弃的 动词forsake的过去分词 | |
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219
scriptures
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| 经文，圣典( scripture的名词复数 )； 经典 | |
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220
neurotic
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| adj.神经病的，神经过敏的；n.神经过敏者，神经病患者 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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223
infamies
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| n.声名狼藉( infamy的名词复数 )；臭名；丑恶；恶行 | |
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224
pompous
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的 | |
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225
ministry
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| n.(政府的)部；牧师 | |
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226
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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227
corruption
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| n.腐败，堕落，贪污 | |
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228
calamities
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| n.灾祸，灾难( calamity的名词复数 )；不幸之事 | |
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229
quotations
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| n.引用( quotation的名词复数 )；[商业]行情（报告）；（货物或股票的）市价；时价 | |
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230
hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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