PART 1 CHAPTER
22
I FEEL REDUCED, THINNED. WHEN I STROLL PAST THE HALL MIRROR, THE outlines of my body
waver, fly off into the room. If I hold my hands before my face, they are transparent1, just the
paralyzed. For so long, I have depended upon my home and the things I own to keep Hell at bay.
have left. They are like dragonflies under the surface of a frozen pond, not dead but waiting until
Here it is—the day we were captured in May 1864. It was the first week of combat after the
battle at Mine Run following five long months in winter camp, and the morning couldn’t have
started off worse. The fields of Spotsylvania Courthouse were swaddled with cotton fog after
rain so fierce that I could see no farther than Beards on one side and Zeke on the other. For five
days, we’d done nothing but dig until a four-mile ditch unfolded, throwing up hillocks of clay in
Yankee noisemaking no longer frightened us. “That sounds too far away to be an attack cry,”
“Why would they do something so danged stupid? Now they’ve wasted any element of
watch, and anyone who nodded off for even a few minutes risked being shot as punishment.
there, although it was only a few minutes before a tide of the enemies’ shots roared in our
direction. It was then that we leaped to our feet, raised our rifles, and were ready when a line of
blue-clad boys rose out of the mist and over the edge of the earthworks.
My rifle misfired with a forlorn little pop, and Beards hollered, “What in God’s name!” as his
and reloaded rifles. We had shouldered our weapons and pulled the triggers, but nothing
One of our boys, a young fellow no more than seventeen, charged up the earthwork’s steep
Before Beards could scream “What the hell?” Frye, the dead fellow’s comrade, grabbed the
dropped rifle, drew his arm back, and heaved his bayonet forward into the air. “Take that, you
Yankee pig,” he cried. The weapon whizzed past me and flew so forcefully into the Yank’s
The short piece of sharpened steel was handy for digging, cutting meat, and sometimes as a
candlestick, but our troops rarely used it to kill, not since first Manassas. Now it was all we had.
was no room or time to reload rifles at that close range. We couldn’t run, and neither could the
A dark- haired Yankee propelled himself toward me, steel flashing. I’ll never forget the
between us to stab upward with my blade. The jab of my bayonet brought the feel of shattering
bone and the slippery slice of flesh right up through my arm muscles, and it crawled into my
soul. For a second, images of this boy’s life, likely similar to mine, flashed by. But after this first
one dropped at my feet, the second wasn’t as hard. You stared a man right in the eyes and
teeth.
In their ghoulish faces, only the desperate eyes of Beards and Blue appeared human. Enemy
blood was splattered there and on their chests. I stayed close to Beards. We always fought side
by side, but this time we needed the other’s protection like never before.
When rifles and bayonets weren’t enough, fellows around me dropped them, abandoned their
soldiers continued to surge over the barricade in a vast blue wave until there were thousands of
them amongst us. At one point, Zeke climbed a little knoll35 and hollered across the din36, “Fellas,
look at me . . . look at me! If you doubted my powers of reasoning, think again! I’ve got brains
Around midday, rain again pounded the scarlet field, flooding sinkholes and the blood-soaked
ground. One enormous depression was surrounded by at least a hundred wounded men, some
side, and rank made no difference. I searched in vain for a recognizable face but found none. In
a landscape that teemed45 with bellowing46 lunatics, exploding bombs, roaring cannons47, and tens of
thousands of guns discharging in the distance, I was without a friend or acquaintance. Even
As I bent49 over at the edge of a melee50, hands on knees and gasping51 for breath, a Yank spotted52
bodies littering the ground as he gained speed. I couldn’t pull my wits together, and my hands
seemed disconnected from my mind. Time slowed, and the Yank grew larger and more
murderous looking by the second. So this is how it is, I thought as my heartbeat thrummed in my
ears. It’s finally my time.
me and lunged shoulder first into the approaching enemy. As the Yankee wobbled with the
For a brief moment, this tall young man locked his brown eyes with mine and then disappeared
into the thick of it. He was gone too quickly for words.
the macabre62 piles before me. It was next to impossible to find a foothold, but that didn’t stop me
Suddenly I felt the hard mouth of a rifle barrel bite into my lower back and a gruff Northern
voice rasp, “drop your weapon and raise your goddamned hands in the air.” A chill ran down
from behind. This scene was repeated all around with cries of, “You boys better surrender!
Throw down your weapons, or we’ll stab bayonets in one side of you and out the other!”
his fist. I wondered how Beards and the rest of my Company had fared, whether they were
facing my fate or that of this poor soldier. In this mass of thousands ordered to the rear of the
battlefield away from the shooting, I feared I might not know.
But then I heard someone call my name. It was Beards, with Jim Blue, Tayloe, and Zeke at
his heels. A cry burst from my throat, startling me with its animal sound. We fell together,
embracing and madly laughing, not with mirth but something I couldn’t name.
and gore and besmirched68 with sooty gunpowder. Tears cut white paths through the smut of
some, though I couldn’t know if they were tears of relief or grief at the loss of friends and
brothers. We were clothed head to toe in the elemental materials of being human: feces, mucus,
an arm or shoulder to those blinded or whose reason had given out. Later I met a fellow who had
The Yanks lost patience. Three guards moved behind our straggling line and cursed us.
them in the back with the tips of their bayonets. At that, the five of us kept our eyes forward and
tried to keep up the pace set by the Yanks. I prayed not to attract the guards’ attention, but
you? Can’t you keep up or are you a girl too?” He jabbed his blade against Blue’s shirt, and a
I’d had enough. I looked the fellow in the eyes and howled at the top of my lungs, “Stop that!
Stop it now. We surrendered. You have no right!” I was in such a terrible rage that I could feel
staring at me in disbelief. But nothing happened. The guard glared at me and then moved on.
their sergeant, and they were still my responsibility.
Strange as it may sound, capture was a huge relief. Only by accident had I survived. After
ball had been waiting for me; it just hadn’t been fired yet. My knees trembled, and my hands
done me in. You might say it was a miracle. I was now finished with this business, and the
pants pocket one more time.
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transparent
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adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的 | |
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moth
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n.蛾,蛀虫 | |
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shudders
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n.颤动,打颤,战栗( shudder的名词复数 )v.战栗( shudder的第三人称单数 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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whittled
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v.切,削(木头),使逐渐变小( whittle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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thaw
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v.(使)融化,(使)变得友善;n.融化,缓和 | |
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bristled
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adj. 直立的,多刺毛的 动词bristle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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mounds
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土堆,土丘( mound的名词复数 ); 一大堆 | |
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huddled
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挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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grunt
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v.嘟哝;作呼噜声;n.呼噜声,嘟哝 | |
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grunted
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(猪等)作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 ); (指人)发出类似的哼声; 咕哝着说 | |
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slurred
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含糊地说出( slur的过去式和过去分词 ); 含糊地发…的声; 侮辱; 连唱 | |
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asses
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n. 驴,愚蠢的人,臀部 adv. (常用作后置)用于贬损或骂人 | |
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crouched
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v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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futilely
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futile(无用的)的变形; 干 | |
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gunpowder
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n.火药 | |
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bastard
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n.坏蛋,混蛋;私生子 | |
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spun
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v.纺,杜撰,急转身 | |
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burrowed
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v.挖掘(洞穴),挖洞( burrow的过去式和过去分词 );翻寻 | |
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shriek
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v./n.尖叫,叫喊 | |
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poking
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n. 刺,戳,袋 vt. 拨开,刺,戳 vi. 戳,刺,捅,搜索,伸出,行动散慢 | |
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saluting
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v.欢迎,致敬( salute的现在分词 );赞扬,赞颂 | |
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frantically
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ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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muzzles
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枪口( muzzle的名词复数 ); (防止动物咬人的)口套; (四足动物的)鼻口部; (狗)等凸出的鼻子和口 | |
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barricade
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n.路障,栅栏,障碍;vt.设路障挡住 | |
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imprisoned
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下狱,监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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gutter
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n.沟,街沟,水槽,檐槽,贫民窟 | |
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mire
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n.泥沼,泥泞;v.使...陷于泥泞,使...陷入困境 | |
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pointed
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adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
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writhed
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(因极度痛苦而)扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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screeching
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v.发出尖叫声( screech的现在分词 );发出粗而刺耳的声音;高叫 | |
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maniacs
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n.疯子(maniac的复数形式) | |
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hatchets
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n.短柄小斧( hatchet的名词复数 );恶毒攻击;诽谤;休战 | |
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scarlet
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n.深红色,绯红色,红衣;adj.绯红色的 | |
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pulp
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n.果肉,纸浆;v.化成纸浆,除去...果肉,制成纸浆 | |
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knoll
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n.小山,小丘 | |
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din
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n.喧闹声,嘈杂声 | |
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gore
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n.凝血,血污;v.(动物)用角撞伤,用牙刺破;缝以补裆;顶 | |
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ablaze
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adj.着火的,燃烧的;闪耀的,灯火辉煌的 | |
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groaning
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adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式 | |
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bellies
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n.肚子( belly的名词复数 );腹部;(物体的)圆形或凸起部份;腹部…形的 | |
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slurp
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n.啜食;vt.饮食出声 | |
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crimson
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n./adj.深(绯)红色(的);vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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parched
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adj.焦干的;极渴的;v.(使)焦干 | |
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chaos
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n.混乱,无秩序 | |
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teemed
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v.充满( teem的过去式和过去分词 );到处都是;(指水、雨等)暴降;倾注 | |
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bellowing
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v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的现在分词 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫 | |
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cannons
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n.加农炮,大炮,火炮( cannon的名词复数 ) | |
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sergeant
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n.警官,中士 | |
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bent
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n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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melee
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n.混战;混战的人群 | |
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gasping
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adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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spotted
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adj.有斑点的,斑纹的,弄污了的 | |
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plunged
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v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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swarm
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n.(昆虫)等一大群;vi.成群飞舞;蜂拥而入 | |
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abrupt
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adj.突然的,意外的;唐突的,鲁莽的 | |
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spouting
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n.水落管系统v.(指液体)喷出( spout的现在分词 );滔滔不绝地讲;喋喋不休地说;喷水 | |
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plight
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n.困境,境况,誓约,艰难;vt.宣誓,保证,约定 | |
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hemmed
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缝…的褶边( hem的过去式和过去分词 ); 包围 | |
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twitches
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n.(使)抽动, (使)颤动, (使)抽搐( twitch的名词复数 ) | |
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twitch
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v.急拉,抽动,痉挛,抽搐;n.扯,阵痛,痉挛 | |
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animated
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adj.生气勃勃的,活跃的,愉快的 | |
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macabre
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adj.骇人的,可怖的 | |
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butt
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n.笑柄;烟蒂;枪托;臀部;v.用头撞或顶 | |
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spine
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n.脊柱,脊椎;(动植物的)刺;书脊 | |
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musket
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n.滑膛枪 | |
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buckled
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a. 有带扣的 | |
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miserable
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adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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besmirched
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v.弄脏( besmirch的过去式和过去分词 );玷污;丑化;糟蹋(名誉等) | |
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guts
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v.狼吞虎咽,贪婪地吃,飞碟游戏(比赛双方每组5人,相距15码,互相掷接飞碟);毁坏(建筑物等)的内部( gut的第三人称单数 );取出…的内脏n.勇气( gut的名词复数 );内脏;消化道的下段;肠 | |
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deafened
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使聋( deafen的过去式和过去分词 ); 使隔音 | |
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terrain
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n.地面,地形,地图 | |
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sundered
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v.隔开,分开( sunder的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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treacherous
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adj.不可靠的,有暗藏的危险的;adj.背叛的,背信弃义的 | |
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mince
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n.切碎物;v.切碎,矫揉做作地说 | |
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prodded
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v.刺,戳( prod的过去式和过去分词 );刺激;促使;(用手指或尖物)戳 | |
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regain
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vt.重新获得,收复,恢复 | |
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filthy
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adj.卑劣的;恶劣的,肮脏的 | |
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poked
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v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 );戳出;拨弄;与(某人)性交 | |
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winced
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赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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stifled
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(使)窒息, (使)窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 ); 镇压,遏制; 堵 | |
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trickle
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vi.淌,滴,流出,慢慢移动,逐渐消散 | |
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seeped
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v.(液体)渗( seep的过去式和过去分词 );渗透;渗出;漏出 | |
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gritted
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v.以沙砾覆盖(某物),撒沙砾于( grit的过去式和过去分词 );咬紧牙关 | |
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84
prodding
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v.刺,戳( prod的现在分词 );刺激;促使;(用手指或尖物)戳 | |
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85
withdrawn
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vt.收回;使退出;vi.撤退,退出 | |
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86
gratitude
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adj.感激,感谢 | |
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prospect
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n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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