“Fancy,” he said, “it is only a week ago since—since the party at Lady Sunningdale’s, since I knew.”
“Knew what?” asked Stella, quite unnecessarily.
“Ah, I only know one thing now. I think I have forgotten everything else.”
“Say it then,” said she.
“That I love you? Are you not tired of hearing me say that yet?”
She smiled, brought him his tea, and sat on the arm of his chair.
“I can’t believe that a woman can ever be tired of hearing that, if the right man says it. Oh, Martin, how lucky it was you, and that it was I!”
Martin put his teacup down, having drunk with amazing speed.
“Why, who else could it have been?” he said; “how could it have been otherwise?”
“No, I suppose not. Yet you didn’t know, as you call it, for a long time. Supposing you had gone on not knowing?”
He leaned back in his chair looking at her, his black eyes shining in the firelight.
“And when I did know, I frightened you,” he said.{296}
“Yes, a little. But I loved it. You see, I had never seen you really in earnest before, except when you were playing. You always put everything you had or were into that.”
“I know. That is what Karl Rusoff told me. He told me to experience all I could, because it would all go to make me play. He calls it spiritual alchemy, like when you put a plant in the earth and water it, the earth and the water are somehow turned into the blossom of that plant while another plant would turn them into a different flower. In fact, darling, you are going to come out of the ends of my fingers, whereas if I were a great Greek scholar you would become iambics.”
He looked at her and his smile deepened into gravity.
“Oh, Stella, Stella,” he said, “did the world ever hold anything like you?”
She leaned back till her face was close to his and put her arm round his neck.
“Yes, yes; do that with me!” she said, “absorb me, let me become part of you. Indeed, I want no other existence at all. Do you know the Persian legend, how the lover knocked at the door of his beloved, and the beloved said, ‘Who is that?’ and he replied, ‘It is I.’ And the one inside said, ‘There is not room for two.’ Then he went away again, and came back after a year, and knocked again. And again from inside the voice said, ‘Who is that?’ But this time he said, ‘It is thou.’ So the door was opened and he went in.”
“That is beautiful,” said Martin. “But, my word, fancy being able to become music. And suppose one happened to become a song by Gounod. Only that isn’t music,” he added.{297}
Stella felt somehow suddenly chilled.
“Promise me I shan’t become a song by Gounod,” she said.
Martin looked at her in silence a moment. She had risen rather abruptly1 from her position and was again sitting upright on the arm of his chair.
“And what do I become?” he asked. “What do you make of me? It is thou, remember.”
Something that for the last three days had hung mist-like in Stella’s mind suddenly congealed2, crystallised, became definite.
“I don’t want you to become anything,” she said. “But I want you to Be. I want you to be entirely3 yourself. I want you to get below your own surface, to dive into yourself, to find pearls. And then to let me wear them.”
“You mean I am shallow?”
“No, dear, I mean nothing of the kind. But, oh, Martin, don’t misunderstand me. All you have got from life, all you have gained, all you are you treat as fuel—you have said it—to burn in the furnace of your one passion—music.”
Martin admitted this with a reservation.
“That was true,” he said, “till just a week ago.”
Stella rose from her place; sitting close to him, like that, she could not say what she meant to say. Personal magnetism4, her love for that beautiful face, prevented her. So she went to the hearth-rug, under pretence5 of poking6 the fire, and stood there with her back to it, facing him. Then she spoke7 more quickly, with a certain vibration8 in her voice.
“And this last week,” she said, “a new and wonderful piece of music was discovered by you. Yes, I{298} put myself as high as that. But am I more than that? Am I really?”
Martin’s forehead wrinkled slightly. Had it not been Stella who asked him this he would have said the question was unreasonable9. But before he could reply she went on.
“Ah, dearest,” she said. “I asked you just now to absorb me, to make me you. But I will not flow out of your finger-tips. Oh, I know you only said that in jest, but in jest sometimes one strikes very near to truth. Have you thought what you are to me, and what, if I am anything, I must be to you. Something absolutely indispensable, your life, no less. Now, supposing chords and harmonies were dumb to you forever, what would be left of you? Tell me that.”
Martin’s expression grew puzzled. It was as if she asked him some preposterous10 riddle11 without answer. How could he compare the two?
“How can I tell?” he said. “I suppose I should somehow and sometime adjust myself to it, though I haven’t the slightest idea how. I can’t imagine life, consciousness, without them.”
“And if I went out of your life?” she asked, unwisely, but longing12 for some convincing answer.
In reply Martin got up and went close to her.
“You have often called me a fool,” he said, “and you have often called me a child. I am both when you ask me things like that. But this foolish child speaks to you, so listen. He does not know what it all means, but he loves you. He knows no other word except that. Is that not enough? If not, what is?”
Then once again the mastery of man overcame her. She wanted him so much, more than any answer to{299} her questions. The subtleties13 into which she had tried to draw him he brushed aside; her woman’s brain, her woman’s desire to hear him say that she was all, had spun14 them deftly15 enough, but he blundered through them somehow, like a bumblebee through a spider’s web, and came booming out on the other side. Theoretically, anyhow, if he had been a woman, they must have caught him, he must have struggled with them, felt their entanglement16. As it was, she had failed. Probably he labelled her fine spinnings “silly” in his own mind. But he proceeded through them—still frowning a little.
“You ask me impossible riddles,” he said. “You might as well ask me whether you would sooner tie your mother to the stake and burn her or me. My darling, there is no sense in such things. Surely one can be simple about love, just because it is so big. I know I love you, that is enough for me. I told you that I know nothing else. That is sober truth. But I cannot weigh things in balances. And, what is more, I won’t. Now kiss me; no, properly.”
It must therefore be inferred that he got his way in this matter, for when, two minutes later, Lady Sunningdale made her untimely appearance, the two were again seated, Stella this time in the chair and Martin on the arm.
“But famishing,” she said. “Yes, tea, please, dear Stella. Martin, you monster, I haven’t seen you for days. Why I haven’t taken to drink I don’t know, over all the dreadful things that have been happening. Would you believe it,—Sahara had two puppies; but she couldn’t bear them, so she ate one and starved the other. Well, it’s all over, but nobody in the house has{300} had a wink17 of sleep for the last week. And so you are going to give a concert at last, Martin. I shan’t come. I hate my private property being made public.”
“But charity,” said Martin.
“My dear, I know perfectly18 well what charity and St. James’s Hall means. It means guinea tickets. Charity should begin at home, not at St. James’s Hall. However, I daresay you will appropriate all the proceeds. So near the Circus, too. Really, Piccadilly Circus is too fascinating. I should like to have a house in the very centre of it, with a glass gallery all round, and really see life. Yes, one more piece of muffin,—not for myself, but for Suez Canal. Suez Canal is so lonely, poor darling, without Sahara; but there is muffin quand même. Naughty! I’m sure the servants feed him. And so everybody is to be married in May. Fancy the Bear coming round like that—even Bears will turn—about Helen and Frank. Apparently19, they are quite inseparable,—the Bear and Frank I mean, and tie each other’s bootlaces, and are converting each other to Christianity and Atheism20 respectively. Bears and buns! Frank is a bun, and the Bear has decided21 it is worth climbing up a pole to get him. I think it is a mistake to have said that. Besides, it is absolutely untrue. The Bear wouldn’t climb a yard to marry Helen to the Czar. How terrible Russia must be, with everything ending in ‘owsky’! I tried to flirt22 with the Bear myself, and had no success of any kind whatever. Dear Suez! No Sahara. The world is a desert without Sahara. But mayn’t I tempt23 you with a small piece of bun with sugar on the top? How depressing marriages are!”
Lady Sunningdale sighed heavily.{301}
“What is the matter?” asked Stella, sympathetically.
“I don’t know. Dearest, that Louis XVI. clock is too beautiful. I wish I were a millionaire. Yes. I think I am depressed24 because everything is going exactly as I planned it. There is nothing so tiresome25 as success. You two children sitting there, Frank and Helen, all my own ideas, and all going precisely26 as I wished. You are my idea, too, Martin, a figment of my brain. I invented you. And you are going precisely as I wished. Every one says nobody ever played the least like you. But the Bear is still in a rage with you, is he not? That is so English. English people are always in a rage about something, the state of the weather, or France, or their children. I never get in a rage. I have no time for that sort of thing. Stella dearest, I think it will have to be you to go down to Chartries next, and induce the Bear to be propitiated27. Heavens, how dreadful it must be to have a very strong sense of duty! It must be like toast-crumbs in your bed, after you have breakfasted there, when one can’t lie comfortable for five minutes together.”
“No, I am the next,” said Martin. “I shall be staying with my uncle at Easter, and shall try to see my father then. I daresay it will do no good.”
“Do you really care?” asked Lady Sunningdale. “I really don’t see why you should. He is unreasonable. I shouldn’t worry.”
Stella turned to Martin with a certain air of expectancy28.
“Yes, I do care,” he said; “I care horribly. I care every day. I hate being on bad terms with any one. I hate anger and resentment,” he added, with a little{302} quiet air of dignity, for he had not wholly liked Lady Sunningdale’s remarks.
“That was one of Nature’s most extraordinary conjuring29 tricks,” she said. “People talk of heredity; but put all the fathers of England in a row, and ask any one to pick out Martin’s. The better they know either of you, by so much the more will they pick out Mr. Challoner last of all!”
Martin got up.
“Ah, don’t let’s talk about it,” he said; “it is not agreeable. I wish I could laugh about it like you, but I can’t.”
Then, with a quick intuition, he turned to Stella.
“One can’t do any good by talking about it, can one?” he asked.
Something still jarred on the girl, due partly to their talk before Lady Sunningdale came in.
“You have admirable common sense,” she said.
Lady Sunningdale caught on to this with her usual quickness. She knew for certain from Stella’s tone that something had gone just a shade wrong between them.
“And you find it rather trying, do you not, dearest Stella?” she said. “Of course, Martin is the most trying person in the world; and if it wasn’t for his ten fingers he would be absolutely intolerable. He is a boy of about twelve, with dreadful streaks30 of common sense worthy31 of a man of fifty who has left all his illusions behind him. Yes, monster, that is you!”
Martin raised his eyebrows32, his excellent temper slightly ruffled33 for the moment.
“Indeed, I didn’t recognise it,” he said.
“Dear Martin, don’t be pompous34. You didn’t recognise it because it wasn’t flattering. They say we{303} women are vain, but compared to men—— Some women are vain of their appearance, it is true, and usually without sufficient cause, but all men are vain of every attribute that God has or has not endowed them with. Remember that, Stella, and if you want to lead a quiet life, lay on flattery with a spade. They are insatiable. Personally I don’t flatter Sunningdale, because I don’t in the least want a quiet life. Tranquility is so frightfully aging and makes one like an oyster35.”
Martin had recovered his serenity36.
“When I am dead,” he remarked, “you will be sorry for what you have said. But why this sudden attack on me?”
“When you are dead you will see how right I was. But the attack—well, chiefly because you haven’t provoked it. That is so tiresome of you. You could see I wanted to quarrel, and you wouldn’t say anything I could lay hold of. If I want to sit down, politeness ordains37 that you should give me a chair. If you see I want to quarrel, politeness ordains that you should give me a pretext38. It is the worst possible manners not to. My nerves are all on edge. When that is the case, the only thing to do is to quiet them by being rude to other people. Dearest Stella, you look too lovely this afternoon. Why you want to throw yourself away on Martin I can’t think!”
“But you said just now it was your idea,” said Stella.
“I know it was, and a very foolish one. I never imagined you would take it seriously. Besides, you know perfectly well that whenever a thing happens that pleases me, I always say it is my own idea. My darling, did I tread on you. How foolish of you to lie{304} there. And when you are all happily settled for, what am I to do next?”
The clock struck and Martin looked up.
“Gracious, I am late,” he said. “Karl was to give me a lesson at six. You must say good-bye to me next, Lady Sunningdale.”
Stella got up, too.
“I’ll see you safely out of the house,” she said, and left the room with him. Then, having closed the door, she paused, taking hold of the lappel of his coat.
“Martin, you’re not vexed39 with me?” she asked.
“No; why? I thought you were vexed with me.”
“No, dear. I was vexed with myself, I think, and so I was horrid40 to you. But, my dearest, give me all you can of yourself. I want so much, just because it is you!”
Martin’s eyes kindled41 and glowed.
“It is all yours,” he said. “You know that. I wish there was more of it. And there is more since—since a week ago.”
“Then I am content,” she said, “and that means a great deal. I think I was rather jealous of pianos generally. And you forgive me? Yes?”
Lady Sunningdale, though often irrelevant42 from sheer irrelevancy43, was also sometimes irrelevant on purpose, using preposterous conversation, as Bismarck used truth, as a valuable instrument to secure definite ends. Just now, for instance, her attack on Martin had purpose at its back, for she had seen quite distinctly that something had gone wrong between him and Stella, and had made the diversion in order to prevent the topic of friction44, whatever it was, being subjected to further rubbing. Providence45 had lent{305} aid to her benevolent46 scheme, sending Martin off to his music-lesson and leaving Stella alone with her. In fact, her request to be told what she should do next needed no answer at all, for she knew quite well that what she would do next was to get Stella to confide47 in her and tell her all that had happened. She was a great believer in talking things out; the important point, however, was not that the principals should talk things out, which was, indeed, worse than useless, but that they should severally talk it out with somebody else. She wondered, and indeed rather hoped, that Martin might simultaneously48 talk it out with Karl, for, as she had had occasion to observe before, Martin’s music-lesson consisted chiefly of discussion on character.
Stella returned in a moment, and Lady Sunningdale was irrelevant no longer. She only took a preliminary circuit or two in the manner of a homing pigeon before it takes the straight, unswerving line.
“Martin is simply absorbed in the thought of his concert,” she said. “And he is going to play just all the things that make me laugh and cry. Personally, I shall go with five handkerchiefs and a copy of some English comic paper. The handkerchiefs are for the tears I shall shed, and the comic paper is to check my laughter when he plays the Paganini Variations. Dear Stella, how very wise of you to marry a genius. You will never be dull. But it is rather bold, too. Oh, please take Suez Canal out of the grate; he is trying to commit suicide, I think, because Sahara is not here. Yes. Geniuses are so unexpected and violent. It must be like marrying somebody who keeps several full-sized flashes of lightning about him, and also a large lump of damp clay. You never know which{306} you will put your hand on, and they are both so dreadfully disconcerting.”
Stella picked Suez Canal out of the grate. Apparently he was putting ashes on his head as a sign of mourning, and she dusted him carefully before replying.
“I am disconcerted,” she said.
Lady Sunningdale never pressed for a confidence. “To show that you want a thing,” she once said, “usually means that you are grudgingly49 given half of it. But if you firmly turn your back on it, it is hurled50 at you.” She turned her back now, using irrelevance51 again.
“It is nearly three years since I was disconcerted,” she said, “and the terrible thing is that I quite forget what disconcerted me. I think it must have been Sunningdale. Do you know he spoke in the House of Lords the other day on one side, and then voted on the other. His reason was that he felt his own remarks to be so feeble that he was sure there was more to be said on the other side. But I believe he merely forgot. Yes. That marble fireplace is so good. Surely it must be Adams’s.”
This was completely efficacious.
“Shall I bore you, if I talk to you?” asked Stella.
“No, dearest Stella. I love being talked to. What is it?”
“It is Martin,” said she.
The back view had done its part. Lady Sunningdale turned completely round again.
“Dearest Stella,” she said, “pray put out the electric light. It is rather strong in my eyes. Yes, Martin now!”{307}
Stella felt as she turned out the light that this was exactly what she wished. In the dim flickering53 firelight her thoughts, drawn54 to the surface, became articulate more easily.
“He is just what you say,” she said. “You touch him, and never know whether it is going to be lightning or clay. The lightning does not disconcert me. But, dear Lady Sunningdale, the clay does!”
Lady Sunningdale was really immensely interested. She had her own methods of getting the girl to rummage55 in the dark corners of her mind and bring out all that was there, and she pursued them now.
“Clay is not really disconcerting,” she said; “it is only the possibility of clay when you expect lightning. My own darling Sunningdale is entirely clay. Of course there is clay in Martin; there is in everybody. How have you managed to come across it? Because he has singularly little.”
“Music is his lightning,” said Stella.
“Do you mean that the rest is clay?” asked Lady Sunningdale.
There was a pause, and Stella turned out an extremely dark corner in her mind, something really quite below the stairs.
“What if I am?” she asked.
“Then, dearest Stella, you have only yourself to thank. He did not think you clay anyhow a week ago. Else, why should he have asked you to marry him? Or do you mean that Martin has changed since then?”
Again Stella paused.
“I must say it more simply,” she said. “Look at it in this way. What if Martin is music? if everything else to him is secondary to that?”{308}
“Then he would have asked the complete works of Chopin to marry him,” remarked Lady Sunningdale. “But, as far as I know, he didn’t. It occurs to me that he asked you. And I know, I can feel it, that he is devoted56 to you, really in love with you. Only don’t, for Heaven’s sake, let your mind dwell for a moment on the relative positions that you and music hold to him.”
“I have done worse than that,” said Stella. “I have asked him what relative positions we hold. I did so to-day.”
“My dear, how insane! What did he say?”
“He told me not to talk nonsense. But is it nonsense?”
Lady Sunningdale drew a little nearer to the fire. All her kindliness58, all her good nature, and what was perhaps even more important, all her tact59 and finesse60, was enlisted61 on behalf of these two. She recognised to herself that there was here in all probability only one of those tiny misunderstandings which must occur between a man and a woman who are now for the first time really learning each other. At the same time it seemed to her quite important, if possible, to thoroughly62 dust, clean out, and disinfect this dark little mental corner in Stella, for it might easily contain the germ of a misunderstanding that would be by no means trivial.
“Yes, it is nonsense,” she said, decidedly. “It is poisonous, suicidal nonsense. You are exactly like the Bear. You don’t seem to grasp any more than the Bear does what music means to Martin. It means, in one word, ‘God.’ It is his religion,—and, good gracious, supposing he was a bishop63 and you were{309} going to marry him, you would not, I hope, be jealous of his religion. And in music Martin is a very big bishop, indeed! But in other respects—you forget this too—he is simply a child. I can’t imagine what Martin will be like when he is middle-aged64. It is impossible to think of him as middle-aged. Martin and middle age are not compatible terms. True, Karl says he has been having a good many birthdays lately. I, too, think he has, but he has, so to speak, made saints’ days of them all, and dedicated65 them to his religion. All but one, that is to say.”
“And that one?” asked Stella.
“He had a birthday when he fell in love with you. That is yours; he has given you that. My dear, he adores you. When you come into the room his face is lit. Only, for Heaven’s sake, don’t worry him and question him about his soul and his depth and the exact way in which he loves you. If you insist, he will try to answer you, and his answers will be dreadfully disappointing to you, because he doesn’t know anything about it. To question him is like—it is like looking at light through a prism or a spectroscope, splitting it up into rays, when instead you might be sitting in the sun. Dear me, how very precise and definite I am becoming. I mean exactly that—I hope I am not going to be ill.”
Stella laughed.
“Dear Lady Sunningdale, I hope not,” she said. “In any case, tell me some more first.”
“My dear, I can’t talk sense to order. You must collect the extremely valuable grains of gold in my conversation for yourself out of the extraordinary mass of quite valueless material.”{310}
“But he is disconcerting,” began Stella again.
“Ah, yes, but so quite certainly are you to him. Heaven, how dull it would be if other people never disconcerted one. But I don’t think Martin, though I am sure he must often find you disconcerting, would ever say so.”
Stella flushed slightly.
“Is that a reproof66?” she asked, gently.
“It certainly is, if it occurs to you that it may be, so pray, pray, don’t deserve it again. Where is Suez? Oh, there. And don’t allow yourself, ever allow yourself to think ‘What a pity there is an occasional lump of clay.’ For, indeed, there is so much lightning. If there wasn’t a little clay, I really think Martin would explode, go off in spontaneous combustion67. My dear, hours and hours of every day pass for Martin at a pressure of which stupid people like you and I have no conception. He recuperates68 by restful intervals70, by being a mere52 boy with huge animal spirits. You may thank your stars he does not recuperate69 by being vicious or sulky. Most geniuses are morose71 and very few are quite sane57. Martin is quite sane, and even the Bear, who takes the gloomiest possible view of him, couldn’t call him morose. Go down on your knees, my dear, and be thankful.”
Stella was silent a moment. Then another corner was turned out.
“And there is no doubt about his genius?” she asked, at length.
“But what is the matter with you?” asked Lady Sunningdale. “You will ask me next if I am quite sure he hasn’t got false teeth. Dearest Stella, do drop this exacting72, questioning attitude once and for all. I{311} know almost everybody has an occasional attack of it, but I am sure you will pardon me, it is just that which makes people odious73. It turns them sour. For Heaven’s sake, don’t turn sour. Suez Canal is in the grate again. Oh, naughty! Thank you, dearest. Yes, sour. Take things on broad, indulgent lines. He loves you. That, on the whole, you believe to be a true statement of the case. Well, then, surely that is good enough. Don’t say, ‘Does his love measure six feet in height, or is it only five foot eleven and three quarters.’ In fact, open the windows.”
Stella took this very attentively74 and very gravely.
“Dear Lady Sunningdale,” she said, “I am very grateful. I think you have done me good. I had a little attack of indigestion in my mind. Do you know, I never thought that you——“
“You never thought that I could think,” said she, “and I’m sure I don’t wonder. But I can think when I choose. Just now the object of my thought is to stop you thinking. Leave psychological questions alone when you are dealing75 with Martin. Just open your mouth, shut your eyes, and see what Martin will give you, as we used to say when children. You are a most fortunate girl. Heavens, fancy having Martin in love with one!”
There was the ring of absolute sincerity76 about this, so true and distinct that Stella wondered. She wondered still more when, on looking at the other’s face, she saw that Lady Sunningdale’s eyes were full of tears, which she openly mopped up with a square two inches of lace.
“Yes, real tears,” she said; “tears of extreme middle age, my dear. What are they made of?{312} Water, I suppose, with just a little jealousy77 and a little youth still left in them, and adoration78 for genius and love of beauty. In fact, they are the most complicated tears I ever heard of; one or two like that from each eye and then it is over. Dearest Stella, you are such a fool. One is always a fool till one is middle-aged, and then one is young no longer. That is the tragedy of growing old. It is almost impossible to be mature and young simultaneously. You are a fool because you don’t know what a priceless, perfect gift has been given you,—Martin’s love. I envy you intolerably; I gnash my teeth with rage. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t want him in the least to fall in love with me; and, to reassure79 you, I may say that even to my amorous80 eye there does not appear to be the very slightest chance of it. But I gnash my teeth because I am not young like you, so that he might fall in love with me, and at the same time wise like myself, so that I should know what to do with him.”
“Ah, tell me that; do tell me how to manage, how to behave,” said Stella.
“I can’t. That is just it. There is another tragedy in this mismanaged world, that nobody can teach any one else anything that is worth knowing. You can’t teach me how to look young; I can’t teach you how to be wise, how to appreciate, how not to worry. But Martin’s mind is like a cut diamond: it absorbs whatever light—blue, green, red—is thrown into it, and turns it by its own magic into inapproachable colour. That colour is seen in his music. Oh, I have watched you often this last week. You worry him and puzzle him, and I’m sure I don’t wonder, if you ask him the{313} relative places of music and you in his mind. Do you not see how stupid that is? Answer me.”
Stella smiled.
“Oh, don’t rub it in,” she said. “Yes, it is idiotic81.”
“My dear, you are so gentle that I feel a brute82!”
“Please be a brute, then, just five minutes more,” said Stella.
“Very good. Do not take up this absurd position and say, ‘I am your goddess, what incense83 have you got to burn before me this morning? Ah, that is the second-quality incense! I thought so. How could you?’ Be much bigger than that. Suez! Recollect84 who it is who has paid you this incomparable compliment of saying he wishes to see your face opposite him at breakfast for the rest of his life, every day, every day. Go to Karl Rusoff and ask him where he places Martin, if you do not believe me about his genius. And when he has told you, hire the Albert Hall, fill it with people, and tell them what Karl says. Then wait a couple of years, hire the Albert Hall again, and repeat again what Karl told you. And every single person in the hall will say, ‘Why, of course. We knew that.’”
Stella was silent a moment.
“Then, must I burn incense before him?” she asked. “The very best incense. I should love to do that!”
Lady Sunningdale restrained a movement of impatience85.
“My dear, you are the one person in the world who must not burn incense,” she said. “An incense-burning wife is like dram-drinking to a man. You are to be his wife. That means a good deal. But you are to be his comrade. That means much more. He and{314} Helen! Why he did not get Helen to come and live with him, and—well, not marry at all, I don’t know. Perhaps Frank would object. Men are all so selfish.”
“Do you mean he has chosen badly?” asked Stella.
“No, dear; and it is silly to say that. What I meant was that I wonder why he wanted to marry at all, why a nature like that has need of anybody else. If I was like Martin, I should never see a soul, but contemplate86 my own wonderfulness. However, he did want somebody else. And he chose you, you fortunate girl.”
“I ought to be very happy, then?” she asked.
“Ah, I don’t say that. Perhaps you will be divinely, ecstatically discontented. Happiness is rather a bovine87 quality, I always think. It implies not wanting. Any one with imagination must always want. Yes. Dear me, I came here to say something, and I forget what—I have said a good deal, but not it. Dearest Stella, do you forgive me? At least, for my own creature comfort, I want you to forgive me; but essentially88 I don’t care, as I know I am right.”
“No, I don’t forgive you,” said the girl, “but I thank you.”
Lady Sunningdale struggled to her feet out of her very low chair.
“That is sweet of you. Yes, Suez, my darling, we are going home to din-din and Sahara. Ah, I remember. I want you and your mother to join us at Cannes for a fortnight at Easter. Sunningdale’s villa89 is really quite comfortable, and you can look at the Mediterranean90 and meditate91. Ask her to send me a line about it, but come yourself in any case. The Southern sun always melts my brains, and liquid wisdom{315} flows from my lips in practically unlimited92 quantities. Why don’t we all live at Cannes, among the palms and that sort of thing. If you can’t come, I shall ask Martin; but I don’t mean to have you together. You will be quite enough together afterwards. Dear me, how screaming Martin will be as the master of a house! Good-bye, darling Stella. Yes, pray, turn up the lights, otherwise I shall crash my way through priceless furniture and tread on Suez Canal.”
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congealed
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| v.使凝结，冻结( congeal的过去式和过去分词 )；（指血）凝结 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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magnetism
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| n.磁性，吸引力，磁学 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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poking
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| n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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vibration
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| n.颤动，振动；摆动 | |
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unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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riddle
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| n.谜，谜语，粗筛；vt.解谜，给…出谜，筛，检查，鉴定，非难，充满于；vi.出谜 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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13
subtleties
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| 细微( subtlety的名词复数 )； 精细； 巧妙； 细微的差别等 | |
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spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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deftly
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| adv.灵巧地，熟练地，敏捷地 | |
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entanglement
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| n.纠缠，牵累 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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atheism
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| n.无神论，不信神 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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flirt
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| v.调情，挑逗，调戏；n.调情者，卖俏者 | |
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tempt
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| vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣 | |
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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propitiated
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| v.劝解，抚慰，使息怒( propitiate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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expectancy
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| n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额 | |
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conjuring
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| n.魔术 | |
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30
streaks
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| n.（与周围有所不同的）条纹( streak的名词复数 )；（通常指不好的）特征（倾向）；（不断经历成功或失败的）一段时期v.快速移动( streak的第三人称单数 )；使布满条纹 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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pompous
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的 | |
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oyster
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| n.牡蛎；沉默寡言的人 | |
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serenity
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| n.宁静，沉着，晴朗 | |
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ordains
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| v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的第三人称单数 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定 | |
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pretext
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| n.借口，托词 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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42
irrelevant
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| adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的 | |
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irrelevancy
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| n.不恰当，离题，不相干的事物 | |
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friction
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| n.摩擦，摩擦力 | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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grudgingly
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hurled
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| v.猛投，用力掷( hurl的过去式和过去分词 )；大声叫骂 | |
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irrelevance
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| n.无关紧要；不相关；不相关的事物 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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flickering
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| adj.闪烁的，摇曳的，一闪一闪的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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rummage
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| v./n.翻寻，仔细检查 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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sane
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| adj.心智健全的，神志清醒的，明智的，稳健的 | |
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58
kindliness
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| n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为 | |
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59
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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finesse
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| n.精密技巧，灵巧，手腕 | |
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enlisted
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| adj.应募入伍的v.（使）入伍， （使）参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 )；获得（帮助或支持） | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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bishop
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| n.主教，（国际象棋）象 | |
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middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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66
reproof
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| n.斥责，责备 | |
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67
combustion
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| n.燃烧；氧化；骚动 | |
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recuperates
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| v.恢复（健康、体力等），复原( recuperate的第三人称单数 ) | |
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69
recuperate
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| v.恢复 | |
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70
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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71
morose
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| adj.脾气坏的，不高兴的 | |
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exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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attentively
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| adv.聚精会神地；周到地；谛；凝神 | |
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75
dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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76
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕，崇拜 | |
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79
reassure
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| v.使放心，使消除疑虑 | |
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amorous
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| adj.多情的；有关爱情的 | |
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81
idiotic
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| adj.白痴的 | |
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82
brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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83
incense
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| v.激怒；n.香，焚香时的烟，香气 | |
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84
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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85
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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86
contemplate
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| vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视 | |
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87
bovine
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| adj.牛的；n.牛 | |
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88
essentially
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| adv.本质上，实质上，基本上 | |
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89
villa
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| n.别墅，城郊小屋 | |
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Mediterranean
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| adj.地中海的；地中海沿岸的 | |
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91
meditate
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| v.想，考虑，（尤指宗教上的）沉思，冥想 | |
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92
unlimited
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| adj.无限的，不受控制的，无条件的 | |
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