小说搜索     点击排行榜   最新入库
首页 » 英文短篇小说 » Rue and Roses » Chapter XVII
选择底色: 选择字号:【大】【中】【小】
Chapter XVII
关注小说网官方公众号(noveltingroom),原版名著免费领。
 My way of living became the same again. Now as before I scrubbed the floor, washed the linen1, and looked after the kitchen. Many times during my work I thought of my friend in London and secretly wished to be near her. There was one reason, however, why I could not really leave Marlow. It was this: that I was determined2 to return the money which I owed to my friend in Buda-Pesth; that was, of course, not easy for me, since my wages were only thirty shillings a month, and out of them I used also to help my parents. It is true that I had sent home less of late, because the conditions at home had gradually become more satisfactory, and my brother had also gone away. My parents had not heard from him for a long time. All they knew was that he had given up entirely3 the hated profession of a waiter, and gone over seas to try his luck in another land. In one of his more recent letters my father had told me that he had received a newspaper from Brazil, containing the news of a most daring flight made by an aviator4 named "Aranga."
 
Underneath5 this account, however, the following words were written in pencil, "Much love to all of you. I shall be all right as long as my spine6 is not broken."
 
To the above-mentioned purpose I now put away every farthing that I could save out of the thirty shillings, and the mere7 thought of sending my friend the amount of my debt made me exceedingly happy. Now to leave my situation and find another one in London would have certainly cost me money, and to spend even a single penny would have been unbearable8 to me. About that, however, I made no mention to my friend, but told him only of my occupation and so forth9. His letters became very rare indeed, and of late contained nothing but reproaches at my apparent "waste of time."
 
"Have you," he asked, "gone over to England in order to learn how to cook? There was indeed no need for you to go to London just for that. You know how much I want to help on your education, and to develop your talent. Pray do not insist on sacrificing all your time to others. Try at least to find an engagement for the mornings somewhere in London, and study in the afternoons. I would, of course, support you in whatever way you require."
 
Tempting10 though such an offer may have been, I could not make up my mind to accept it, and so I returned with a sigh to my pots and pans. But in my heart of hearts I felt like the little boy in the story, who was for ever wishing that something might come along that would take him somewhere else. However, nothing came. One month passed after the other, and sometimes my feet felt very tired. By-and-by my heart grew weary too, and finally refused to tremble whenever the bell was rung; no longer did I fear, hope, and believe that he had come at last. But I was still waiting, waiting at the threshold of his soul, waiting for the wonderful moment when it would open, and he would step out to me with kindness on his lips and fulfilment in his eyes. Sometimes again there were hours when I almost regretted—hours when my most secret thoughts seemed to come to life and confront me with malicious-looking faces. "Why did you go away from him?" they would ask scornfully. Yes, why had I gone away from him? To get to know different people and different places? Of course, did not he himself wish it thus? Did not I myself want it thus? Want it thus? And after every drop of blood within me had set its "No" against that question, the scornful voices rose again: "And if you did not want to go away why, then, did you go?" And all at once I knew it, and my cheeks flushed with an unaccustomed glow, and my heart was filled with an unaccustomed sorrow. Thus disputing with myself, time passed on.
 
It happened one night, when I could not go to sleep though I had worked hard all day long, that I lay awake in bed, and thought and thought until all good and evil spirits had gathered around me. Like so many hands they reached down into my thoughts, tugging11, pulling, and tearing them about, and when they had gone, there were red letters floating about in the darkness of the room, forming themselves to a question at the end, and the question was:
 
"May I come back again?"
 
"Why not?" I said, shaking my fists towards the glowing signs; "is not our friendship so pure, so marvellously wonderful?" ... At that a wreath of flames encircled every letter, and when I read again I trembled.
 
"That is just why," it said; and behind the letters there rose up a beautiful, transparent12 light. But I would neither see the light nor the writing, and closed my eyes like an obstinate13 child. Other nights followed similar to that one, and by-and-by all things seemed to enter into conspiracy14 against me. My own self seemed to hate and persecute15 me—seemed to wrestle16 from me the last faint hope, which I would not surrender. But in moments of greatest anguish17 he himself would come to my help. As if conjured18 up by some magic world he stood amongst the slanderous19 monsters, towering above them all.
 
"Do you believe in me?" he asked, gazing at me with the apprehensive20 look and giving me his kindest smile.
 
"Yes, I believe," I answered, raising up these words as I had seen, when a child, the priest raise up the golden monstrance, and at that my host of tormentors grew quiet, as the congregation did at church.
 
Of all that my friend knew nothing.
 
Just as we had never in our personal intercourse21 said anything to disclose our innermost thought or feeling, our letters remained equally distant and cool, with perhaps only a line now and again, which failed to hide our longing22 or grief.
 
But on those lines we lived—or I at least. Those lines held out to me all and everything—imparted to my soul all the strength and sweetness that it needed to persuade the weary limbs to do their dull, daily work once more. And thus it happened that I was sometimes even happy, that, with a smile in my eyes, I cleaned the copper23 pots until they all shone, and scarcely felt the cold when, early on a winter morning, I knelt down to wash the steps outside the house. But the most beautiful moment was when in the evening I took my little savings24-box and spread its contents on my bed. That money I regarded as my greatest treasure, always hiding it away most anxiously, and I should have been inconsolable if I had lost it by any mishap25.
 
I was determined to leave Marlow as soon as I had saved all the money to cover my debt, and a little over to last me until I had found a suitable situation in London. Things, however, did not turn out in accordance with my expectations.
 
For some time back my mistress had intended to send her daughter to a school abroad, and all at once she made up her mind to do so. She did not care to live in the large house all by herself, and told me that she was going to shut it up and travel about. Since all the money I still wanted did not amount to more than fifty to sixty shillings, I felt much grieved when she told me of her intentions, because there was no possibility now of sending the money off in a few months as I had hoped to be able to do. But soon I grew more quiet about it, comforting myself with the hope of finding another situation very quickly, and of being able after all to return the money in the shortest time possible.
 
Thus it came to pass that I left the house, where for eighteen months I had been happy and unhappy in so peculiar26 a fashion; and when I looked round my room for the last time I felt the tears spring into my eyes, and I went downstairs sobbing27 bitterly. After having arrived in London, I went to the home to see my friend. She welcomed me most heartily29, but could do nothing else for me. The next thing I wanted to do now was to find a situation in order to spend as little of my savings as possible.
 
I called again on the elderly lady who had given me my first post, and after the usual greetings and necessary explanations she said:
 
"Since you have been in England for some time, and also possess a reference given by an English lady, it will not be difficult to find something suitable for you. What kind of a situation do you prefer?"
 
I thought of the sixty shillings which I wanted to earn as quickly as possible, and said that I did not mind in the least, but should feel happy if I could get an opportunity to speak a little English.
 
"Should you like to take a post as an under-nurse?"
 
I had never heard of an under-nurse before, and did not quite know what she meant.
 
"What's an under-nurse?"
 
"Well, you would like it no doubt, because the head-nurse is an Englishwoman, so you would have plenty of opportunity to speak English."
 
After that I asked for the particulars, which she gave me in full.
 
"It is best for you," she said, "to go there and show yourself to the lady. If you like the post then well and good, but should you not care for it, then come back again."
 
 
She handed me the address and I went on my way. It seemed to be tremendously far, and when, after much looking and asking, I at last pulled the bell of a pretty house, I felt dead tired. A neat-looking parlour-maid inquired my wishes, invited me to step in, and told me to wait. I sat down on one of the upright oak chairs, and in my heart of hearts hoped that the lady might not come immediately. But she appeared very soon, and was most kind and gracious. After she had asked me a few questions she told me that she would like to engage me, but could not do so before the head-nurse had seen me. But the head-nurse was out with the children, so would I either wait or come again? I decided31 to wait, after which she left me to myself, and inwardly I prayed to God that He might make the head-nurse like me too. A little while afterwards I could hear much shouting and yelling, and the lady came in to tell me that the head-nurse had returned. She asked me to follow her upstairs, where we were met by four boys, aged32 about five, seven, nine, and eleven years, who had come to some disagreement which they seemed unable to put right. A very thin-looking woman, whom I guessed to be the head-nurse, tried to quiet them, a task that proved only successful after she had produced a long cane33, the sight of which had an immediate30 effect upon the four brothers. The head-nurse put the cane very carefully into a corner and listened attentively34 to what her mistress told her about me. Now and again she looked at me, and with much comfort and relief I noticed that she seemed to like me.
 
The lady then explained to me what I would have to do, and I felt a growing alarm the longer she spoke35. But when she asked me in the end whether I would like to take the post, I thought again of the sixty shillings and said I should like to come.
 
I started my new situation two days later. If I had no idea of the position of an under-nurse before, I was to get it now. I found out quickly that among the four servants of the house, I was considered to be the most insignificant36 one, and each of the three other servants[Pg 261] made me feel this. Owing to the fact that I spoke English imperfectly, and neither the cook nor the parlour-maid were fond of foreigners, they teased and taunted37 me at every possible opportunity. Furthermore, they made me do all the work that they themselves did not care to do, such as bringing up coal from the cellar and so forth. In order to get on with them, I did everything. But the nights proved to be even more terrible than the days. I had to sleep in one room with the cook and the parlour-maid, and many times I set my teeth when I thought of my own little room at Marlow. The two girls used to chat together until midnight, relating all about their lovers, and mentioning, I am sure, every Christian38 name for boys which is to be found in the calendar. The one of whom I was the most afraid was the cook. She was terribly rude, and often raised her hands as if to beat me whenever I did not do a thing to her entire satisfaction.
 
However, every cup of sorrow contains its drop of mirth, and my happiness arose from the cook's outings and her love-letters. The fact is that when she received a letter from one of her many adorers she was kind even to me.
 
One day a soldier presented her with a silver brooch, and she was so nice that day to me that I almost liked her in the evening. But when it happened that a day or more passed without having brought her a token of some kind she became furious, and her spiteful rage was beyond all bounds. While I still lived at Marlow I had often stood and watched for the postman, hoping secretly that he might bring something for me, but now I stood and watched for him, filled only with the ardent39 longing that he might have something for the cook; and I think that now is the right moment, and here the right place, to express my thanks to all the policemen, soldiers, milkmen, butchers and others, who were happy enough to come within scope of the cook's interest and consideration, for the numbers of letters and cards which they despatched to her without knowing that they had made me happy too.
 
One day there was a great row in the kitchen, and the parlour-maid left the same day. The new parlour-maid was a very pale and ill-looking girl, but she worked very hard. She was never rude to me. I liked her for that and felt sorry for her because she looked so weak. One evening, when the cook had her outing, and we lay alone in our room, the parlour-maid began to sob28 most piteously.
 
"What's the matter?" I asked her, and after some hesitation40 she told me that her sweetheart was lying on the point of death in a hospital for consumption. Then she pulled a letter from behind her pillow and handed it over to me. I lit the candle and by its flickering41 light I read the lines. Brave yet desperate words of a dying man, together with a poem, which throbbed42 with the unspeakable longing for health and life, and disclosed the most sweet and most lovable thoughts.
 
"I am sure," I said, trying hard to conceal44 my emotion—"I am sure he will get well again."
 
"No; he is there where only the dying are."
 
Her eyes were dry when she said that, and only her lips trembled. I put out the light and shuddered45. From that evening onward46 I helped her as much as I could with her work, although I had plenty to do myself.
 
One night she roused us from our sleep with a terrible scream, and looking round her wildly, she said she was sure that "he" had called for her. On the morning she asked for half a day off, but she returned no more.
 
After I had been at my post for about six months, I went one day to the post-office to have a letter registered. The letter was addressed to my friend in Buda-Pesth and contained the money which I owed to him. But it contained something else beside that—the outcry of a heart tortured to death. For the first time I told him of my unbearable position. He wrote back at once. His letter was full of kind reproaches for my silence about so many facts—what he termed my insincerity. He further urged me to leave my place at once, take no situation whatsoever47, and give myself up entirely to the study of the English language in order to be able to go in for an examination afterwards. He also returned the money which I had sent, begging me to use it for board and so on. Further sums would follow.
 
It happened that it was my day out when I received the letter, and I went to see my friend in the home. I showed her the letter from Buda-Pesth, and she greatly urged me to accede48 to his wishes.
 
"I know what men are like," she said, "and I feel convinced that that man means to deal honestly with you."
 
In this way she spoke to me for a long while, and being afraid to take a new situation on account of the cooks, I at last consented. My friend then told me that she had thought of leaving the home, and suggested that we should take one room together.
 
"It would be cheapest," she argued.
 
I liked the idea because, as she said, "it was cheapest," and thus it happened that I packed up my things once more and moved into a boarding-house in London, my heart filled with joyous49 hopes.
 
It is true that it worried me again to owe money to my friend in Buda-Pesth. I consoled myself, however, with the intention to work very hard in order to pass an examination in the English language very soon, and then—Yes, and then! All at once I stopped to think. The old, well-known hobgoblins appeared once more, and sneered50 and grinned at me out of every corner. I pulled myself together with all the self-restraint possible, shook off every thought for the future and studied very hard.
 
The life in the boarding-house was full of interest and liveliness. The boarders belonged to different races and spoke different languages.
 
There were, for instance, Indians, wearing turbans of white or daintily shaded silk; Chinese, who had, however, sacrificed their pigtails to the fashion of Europe; a former prima donna who had grown too stout51 for the stage, and showed, with much fondness, photos of herself in stage costumes; a pale, worn-out-looking gentleman from Switzerland who could not put up with the fact that no English girl—unlike some French girls of his acquaintance—would undertake the management of his own household without the usual vows52 at the altar; a German who could not stand the English cooking; and a young striving musician who was unable to pay for his board and tried to commit suicide every Saturday.
 
Although the people were polite to me and I liked them very well, I did not really care to associate much with them. Such, however, was not the case with my friend, who used to amuse herself chiefly with the discontented Swiss, in a way that at first surprised, later alarmed, and finally disgusted me. It happened often that I left the dining-room without a word, and sat down on my bed in our little room until my friend came upstairs. She then used to look very gay and began to tell me stories such as I had never heard from her before, and which recalled to me the stories of the cook. I responded but little, whereupon she grew very bad-tempered53, and declared I was a dull girl who could never see a joke. Sometimes I felt some sharp reply on the tip of my tongue, but swallowed it down again, thinking that I was perhaps really "dull" and she right after all. I tried to make amends54 for my behaviour by greater attention and tenderness towards her, showing also much interest for the stories she told me. In reality, however, I found everything most tedious, and would have much preferred to talk about poems. But my friend had declared once for all that she did not care for poems. Thus I tried hard to keep up our friendship, which was no more than a comedy, and should no doubt have kept it up even longer if she had not done something which put an end to my uncomfortable position.
 
I had gone upstairs rather early one evening and left my friend in the company of the other boarders. I was in bed when she came up at last. She looked frightfully hot and was shaking with laughter.
 
"What's the matter?" I asked her with affected55 interest.
 
Still laughing, she pulled out a crumpled56 sheet of newspaper and straightened it.
 
"No, I never!" she exclaimed. "You must read that."
 
I looked at the paper and saw that it was French.
 
 
"How can I read it? I don't know French."
 
"Oh well, I forgot; I will read it out to you."
 
"But I can't understand it."
 
"Never mind; I am going to translate it."
 
After that, she placed herself close to my bed and read out a story which made me furious.
 
"Stop, if you please," I said; "I will hear no more of it."
 
She laughed aloud.
 
"You are only acting57 now; the truth is that you are anxious to hear the end."
 
"No; I will hear no more," I said decidedly; and because she did not stop I got out of bed and ran, barefooted as I was, into the bathroom close by. I stayed there for rather a long while, and when I came back she was in bed and pretended to be asleep. I knew, however, that it was impossible for us to live together any longer. We did not speak to each other next morning. As soon as I had dressed, I went out and took a room for myself in quite a different part of London.
 
I lived now close to Westminster Abbey.
 
I had heard much about it already, but had not yet seen it, and determined to visit that place at the first possible moment.
 
With my heart beating fast, I stood a few days later in front of its grey, sacred walls, and a little later I slipped in and mixed with the swarm58 of visitors. I did not, however, walk about as they did, but pressed myself hard into the first corner. Never in all my life had I felt what I felt then. I was like one spellbound, as if I was in immediate personal touch with all those who had been there a long, long time ago, and who were nothing but dust now.
 
I roused myself at last and moved on. But I walked about like a sleep-walker, conceiving only the infinite greatness of all things, hardly realizing the reality of what I saw.
 
After some wandering to and fro I caught sight suddenly of a low, little wooden door, and thought of opening it. I looked round carefully because I did not know whether it was permitted (it is permitted), pushed it open quickly and went out. Yes, really and truly out! Then, lo and behold59! behind that door there was no chapel60 filled with coffins61 or monuments of kings[Pg 271] and queens, but a garden in the shape of a square, which, it is true, had no flowers, but a beautiful, well-kept lawn, and that piece of green garden looked wonderful amid those grey, massive walls, which, could they but speak, are able to tell the stories of many a century. A few benches were placed here and there and I sat down. I knew that the Abbey itself had once upon a time been a monastery62, and guessed that this had been the convent garden. I imagined that I could see the tall figures of the monks64 leaving the dormitory, proceeding65 slowly over the sparkling lawn, and disappearing behind the little door to attend their early morning service.
 
Whenever I visited Westminster Abbey later on (I am glad to say I did that very often) I paid my homage66 first to the tombs, the old, old coronation chair, the famous stone beneath it, which is regarded as the stone on which Jacob had slept and dreamt his world-known dream, the Poets' Corner, and to countless67 other glorious things; after which I restrained no longer the sweet impatience68 of my heart, but slipped through the low wooden door into the convent garden. And seated there on one of the benches, with my eyes twinkling, because of the full, sudden glare of light, I used to weave some sweet sad tale of love around the sombre figure of a proud and handsome monk63.
 
Apart from these hours of so sweet, restful, and contemplative a nature, every day was given up to work. I did all in my power to acquaint myself most thoroughly69 with a knowledge of the English language, and made such good progress that I began to compose my verses in English. It is true that these poems will most probably never secure me the gratitude70 of the English people, but nevertheless they pleased me much, and my friend too expressed his satisfaction with them. He also sometimes asked me now what I was going to do after I had passed my examination, whether I was intending to stay in England or to go somewhere else.
 
But to these questions I never wrote any answer, and when I had to do so at last, a similar cowardice71 got hold of me to that which possessed72 St. Peter when he denied his Master.
 
 
"Do you think that I may come back?" I asked him.
 
Later on I went to post the lines, and when I returned to my room I found all the old well-known witches again.
 
"Is not something that is good beyond questioning—not clear as the purest water?"
 
Thus they whispered into my ear high and low in every scale, and beside that whisper I could hear the church bell strike every hour of the night.
 
The days seemed to creep to the thrilling impatience within me, and sometimes I felt a sudden terror at an unknown dread73.
 
"What will he write to me? And when will he write?" I asked myself over and over again.
 
His letter arrived at last; it was put in a blue envelope and felt like a weight of lead in my hand. I could not make up my mind to open it, and wished somehow that I had not yet received it.
 
Tearing open the envelope at last, I read the letter, read it again and again. When I dropped the neatly74 written sheets, there was a dead stillness in the room. Involuntarily I looked around me. All the evil spirits had gone. All fear, all cowardice, all doubt had gone. Something like a cloud lifted from my soul, and then a feeling rose up to which I could as yet give no name, a feeling which tumbled about within me like someone aroused from a dream, and finally pressed itself hard against my throat.
 
I put my arms on the table, my face on my arms, and sat still for a long while. When it had grown dark and late I hid the letter underneath my pillow, and went to sleep without a light in the room. Once during the night I sat up in bed and lit a candle, and then I took the letter and holding it close to the light looked for one passage:
 
"If you had remained here, I do not know what might have happened; if you come back, I know what will happen. But the question is, may it come thus? You are not a girl of the ordinary type; you belong to the race of Asra, the people who die when they love. And because I have known that from the first, I have done for you what I have never done for another woman yet—namely, got hold of the head of the beast within, turned it round sharply and laughed at it."
 
I hid the letter again and lay very still in my bed.... That then was the end of it.... Tired and reluctantly my thoughts pilgrimaged back. I saw myself again as I was—poor, lonesome, waiting until the moment when the fairest miracle which life has ever held came to me, and every thought within me stretched forth arms, as it were, in order to receive it. I felt once more how every word, every look of his, pressed itself into my soul like a red-hot seal, and I suffered anew all the tortures and all the happiness. And all at once I thought again of the story of "Morgan" and of his young wife.... How truly different an ending, and yet how similar a victory! For which was more glorious for a girl—that a man should make her his wife, or make her his most beautiful dream, and his lasting75 desire? And all that I vainly tried to comprehend before I comprehended now. "Yes," I said to myself—and I said it aloud into the darkness of the room—"discontented, restless, aimless, freed from one passion to-day, and chained to another passion to-morrow, thus will he stagger through his life. Ever full of desire, never at peace with himself, he will taste of every pleasure and get to know every disgust. But above all pleasure and above all disgust there will be the one longing of his soul, which had denied itself the drink, because of the dregs it knew to be at the goblet's bottom. Not while in ecstasy76, not in the hustle77 and bustle78 of the day will he be aware of it—nay, but when he lies awake at night, filled with a sense of utter loneliness, listening to the pouring rain outside, then it will come to life again, will throb43 and tremble through his soul, soft and pleading like an old forgotten strain." And after I had said that, I smiled that strange wonderful smile, which only a woman knows who is willing to take upon herself the heaviest burden for the sweet sake of love.
 
Next morning I left the house very early and wandered through the streets of London. To-day I knew that I would wander through those streets many, many times yet, and for a long, long while.
 
Once I stopped and entered a grey, small building. It was a Roman Catholic church. I walked about it aimlessly, and my eyes caught the picture of Christ in life-size. For the first time in my life, perhaps, the sight of it stirred nothing within me. What use could He be to me? Could He comprehend such a thing at all? It is true that He had become human in order to feel with us, but He was a good man. He only knew the sins and passions of others, never did He know a sin, or a passion of His own. Of godly descent. He was endowed with godly strength, with godly wisdom, with godliness. What did He really know of the nature of a thief, of a murderer, of a perjurer79? And though He had died for the sake of love, what did He know of the sufferings of lovers?
 
I turned away from the picture and went out of the church. I went out on tip-toe by force of habit, but on my soul dawned the religion of life, which is older than the doctrine80 of Jesus ... and all round me walked its disciples81. Men and women who had done with dreaming and were ready for the unknown hereafter—men with strong fists and hard looks, by which one could tell that they had battled with life; women whose faces looked wrinkled and worn, telling their story of hardship and silent surrender; men and women who in their days of severity and bitterness had surpassed the miracles wrought82 by Him, the Galilean; men and women among whose numbers I was also enlisted83.
 
And out of that new consciousness arose to me a new wisdom and a new love—a wisdom which reigned84 over all former wisdom, and a love which reigned over all former love. And when I returned with it into my solitude85, the stones began to speak.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 linen W3LyK     
n.亚麻布,亚麻线,亚麻制品;adj.亚麻布制的,亚麻的
参考例句:
  • The worker is starching the linen.这名工人正在给亚麻布上浆。
  • Fine linen and cotton fabrics were known as well as wool.精细的亚麻织品和棉织品像羊毛一样闻名遐迩。
2 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的;有决心的
参考例句:
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
3 entirely entirely     
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地
参考例句:
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
4 aviator BPryq     
n.飞行家,飞行员
参考例句:
  • The young aviator bragged of his exploits in the sky.那名年轻的飞行员吹嘘他在空中飞行的英勇事迹。
  • Hundreds of admirers besieged the famous aviator.数百名爱慕者围困那个著名飞行员。
5 underneath VKRz2     
adj.在...下面,在...底下;adv.在下面
参考例句:
  • Working underneath the car is always a messy job.在汽车底下工作是件脏活。
  • She wore a coat with a dress underneath.她穿着一件大衣,里面套着一条连衣裙。
6 spine lFQzT     
n.脊柱,脊椎;(动植物的)刺;书脊
参考例句:
  • He broke his spine in a fall from a horse.他从马上跌下摔断了脊梁骨。
  • His spine developed a slight curve.他的脊柱有点弯曲。
7 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
8 unbearable alCwB     
adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的
参考例句:
  • It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
  • The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。
9 forth Hzdz2     
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
10 tempting wgAzd4     
a.诱人的, 吸引人的
参考例句:
  • It is tempting to idealize the past. 人都爱把过去的日子说得那么美好。
  • It was a tempting offer. 这是个诱人的提议。
11 tugging 1b03c4e07db34ec7462f2931af418753     
n.牵引感v.用力拉,使劲拉,猛扯( tug的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • Tom was tugging at a button-hole and looking sheepish. 汤姆捏住一个钮扣眼使劲地拉,样子显得很害羞。 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险
  • She kicked him, tugging his thick hair. 她一边踢他,一边扯着他那浓密的头发。 来自辞典例句
12 transparent Smhwx     
adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的
参考例句:
  • The water is so transparent that we can see the fishes swimming.水清澈透明,可以看到鱼儿游来游去。
  • The window glass is transparent.窗玻璃是透明的。
13 obstinate m0dy6     
adj.顽固的,倔强的,不易屈服的,较难治愈的
参考例句:
  • She's too obstinate to let anyone help her.她太倔强了,不会让任何人帮她的。
  • The trader was obstinate in the negotiation.这个商人在谈判中拗强固执。
14 conspiracy NpczE     
n.阴谋,密谋,共谋
参考例句:
  • The men were found guilty of conspiracy to murder.这些人被裁决犯有阴谋杀人罪。
  • He claimed that it was all a conspiracy against him.他声称这一切都是一场针对他的阴谋。
15 persecute gAwyA     
vt.迫害,虐待;纠缠,骚扰
参考例句:
  • They persecute those who do not conform to their ideas.他们迫害那些不信奉他们思想的人。
  • Hitler's undisguised effort to persecute the Jews met with worldwide condemnation.希特勒对犹太人的露骨迫害行为遭到世界人民的谴责。
16 wrestle XfLwD     
vi.摔跤,角力;搏斗;全力对付
参考例句:
  • He taught his little brother how to wrestle.他教他小弟弟如何摔跤。
  • We have to wrestle with difficulties.我们必须同困难作斗争。
17 anguish awZz0     
n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦,烦恼
参考例句:
  • She cried out for anguish at parting.分手时,她由于痛苦而失声大哭。
  • The unspeakable anguish wrung his heart.难言的痛苦折磨着他的心。
18 conjured 227df76f2d66816f8360ea2fef0349b5     
用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 ); 祈求,恳求; 变戏法; (变魔术般地) 使…出现
参考例句:
  • He conjured them with his dying breath to look after his children. 他临终时恳求他们照顾他的孩子。
  • His very funny joke soon conjured my anger away. 他讲了个十分有趣的笑话,使得我的怒气顿消。
19 slanderous oi0zFp     
adj.诽谤的,中伤的
参考例句:
  • A man of moral integrity does not fear any slanderous attack.人正不怕影子斜。
  • No one believes your slanderous talk anyway!不管你怎么说,也没有人听信你这谗言!
20 apprehensive WNkyw     
adj.担心的,恐惧的,善于领会的
参考例句:
  • She was deeply apprehensive about her future.她对未来感到非常担心。
  • He was rather apprehensive of failure.他相当害怕失败。
21 intercourse NbMzU     
n.性交;交流,交往,交际
参考例句:
  • The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
  • There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。
22 longing 98bzd     
n.(for)渴望
参考例句:
  • Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
  • His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。
23 copper HZXyU     
n.铜;铜币;铜器;adj.铜(制)的;(紫)铜色的
参考例句:
  • The students are asked to prove the purity of copper.要求学生们检验铜的纯度。
  • Copper is a good medium for the conduction of heat and electricity.铜是热和电的良导体。
24 savings ZjbzGu     
n.存款,储蓄
参考例句:
  • I can't afford the vacation,for it would eat up my savings.我度不起假,那样会把我的积蓄用光的。
  • By this time he had used up all his savings.到这时,他的存款已全部用完。
25 mishap AjSyg     
n.不幸的事,不幸;灾祸
参考例句:
  • I'm afraid your son had a slight mishap in the playground.不好了,你儿子在操场上出了点小意外。
  • We reached home without mishap.我们平安地回到了家。
26 peculiar cinyo     
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的
参考例句:
  • He walks in a peculiar fashion.他走路的样子很奇特。
  • He looked at me with a very peculiar expression.他用一种很奇怪的表情看着我。
27 sobbing df75b14f92e64fc9e1d7eaf6dcfc083a     
<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的
参考例句:
  • I heard a child sobbing loudly. 我听见有个孩子在呜呜地哭。
  • Her eyes were red with recent sobbing. 她的眼睛因刚哭过而发红。
28 sob HwMwx     
n.空间轨道的轰炸机;呜咽,哭泣
参考例句:
  • The child started to sob when he couldn't find his mother.孩子因找不到他妈妈哭了起来。
  • The girl didn't answer,but continued to sob with her head on the table.那个女孩不回答,也不抬起头来。她只顾低声哭着。
29 heartily Ld3xp     
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很
参考例句:
  • He ate heartily and went out to look for his horse.他痛快地吃了一顿,就出去找他的马。
  • The host seized my hand and shook it heartily.主人抓住我的手,热情地和我握手。
30 immediate aapxh     
adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的
参考例句:
  • His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
  • We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。
31 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
32 aged 6zWzdI     
adj.年老的,陈年的
参考例句:
  • He had put on weight and aged a little.他胖了,也老点了。
  • He is aged,but his memory is still good.他已年老,然而记忆力还好。
33 cane RsNzT     
n.手杖,细长的茎,藤条;v.以杖击,以藤编制的
参考例句:
  • This sugar cane is quite a sweet and juicy.这甘蔗既甜又多汁。
  • English schoolmasters used to cane the boys as a punishment.英国小学老师过去常用教鞭打男学生作为惩罚。
34 attentively AyQzjz     
adv.聚精会神地;周到地;谛;凝神
参考例句:
  • She listened attentively while I poured out my problems. 我倾吐心中的烦恼时,她一直在注意听。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She listened attentively and set down every word he said. 她专心听着,把他说的话一字不漏地记下来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
35 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
36 insignificant k6Mx1     
adj.无关紧要的,可忽略的,无意义的
参考例句:
  • In winter the effect was found to be insignificant.在冬季,这种作用是不明显的。
  • This problem was insignificant compared to others she faced.这一问题与她面临的其他问题比较起来算不得什么。
37 taunted df22a7ddc6dcf3131756443dea95d149     
嘲讽( taunt的过去式和过去分词 ); 嘲弄; 辱骂; 奚落
参考例句:
  • The other kids continually taunted him about his size. 其他孩子不断地耻笑他的个头儿。
  • Some of the girls taunted her about her weight. 有些女孩子笑她胖。
38 Christian KVByl     
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒
参考例句:
  • They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
  • His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。
39 ardent yvjzd     
adj.热情的,热烈的,强烈的,烈性的
参考例句:
  • He's an ardent supporter of the local football team.他是本地足球队的热情支持者。
  • Ardent expectations were held by his parents for his college career.他父母对他的大学学习抱着殷切的期望。
40 hesitation tdsz5     
n.犹豫,踌躇
参考例句:
  • After a long hesitation, he told the truth at last.踌躇了半天,他终于直说了。
  • There was a certain hesitation in her manner.她的态度有些犹豫不决。
41 flickering wjLxa     
adj.闪烁的,摇曳的,一闪一闪的
参考例句:
  • The crisp autumn wind is flickering away. 清爽的秋风正在吹拂。
  • The lights keep flickering. 灯光忽明忽暗。
42 throbbed 14605449969d973d4b21b9356ce6b3ec     
抽痛( throb的过去式和过去分词 ); (心脏、脉搏等)跳动
参考例句:
  • His head throbbed painfully. 他的头一抽一跳地痛。
  • The pulse throbbed steadily. 脉搏跳得平稳。
43 throb aIrzV     
v.震颤,颤动;(急速强烈地)跳动,搏动
参考例句:
  • She felt her heart give a great throb.她感到自己的心怦地跳了一下。
  • The drums seemed to throb in his ears.阵阵鼓声彷佛在他耳边震响。
44 conceal DpYzt     
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽
参考例句:
  • He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方,他只好隐瞒身份。
  • He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。
45 shuddered 70137c95ff493fbfede89987ee46ab86     
v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动
参考例句:
  • He slammed on the brakes and the car shuddered to a halt. 他猛踩刹车,车颤抖着停住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I shuddered at the sight of the dead body. 我一看见那尸体就战栗。 来自《简明英汉词典》
46 onward 2ImxI     
adj.向前的,前进的;adv.向前,前进,在先
参考例句:
  • The Yellow River surges onward like ten thousand horses galloping.黄河以万马奔腾之势滚滚向前。
  • He followed in the steps of forerunners and marched onward.他跟随着先辈的足迹前进。
47 whatsoever Beqz8i     
adv.(用于否定句中以加强语气)任何;pron.无论什么
参考例句:
  • There's no reason whatsoever to turn down this suggestion.没有任何理由拒绝这个建议。
  • All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you,do ye even so to them.你想别人对你怎样,你就怎样对人。
48 accede Gf8yd     
v.应允,同意
参考例句:
  • They are ready to accede to our request for further information.我们要是还需要资料,他们乐于随时提供。
  • In a word,he will not accede to your proposal in the meeting.总而言之,他不会在会中赞成你的提议。
49 joyous d3sxB     
adj.充满快乐的;令人高兴的
参考例句:
  • The lively dance heightened the joyous atmosphere of the scene.轻快的舞蹈给这场戏渲染了欢乐气氛。
  • They conveyed the joyous news to us soon.他们把这一佳音很快地传递给我们。
50 sneered 0e3b5b35e54fb2ad006040792a867d9f     
讥笑,冷笑( sneer的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He sneered at people who liked pop music. 他嘲笑喜欢流行音乐的人。
  • It's very discouraging to be sneered at all the time. 成天受嘲讽是很令人泄气的。
52 vows c151b5e18ba22514580d36a5dcb013e5     
誓言( vow的名词复数 ); 郑重宣布,许愿
参考例句:
  • Matrimonial vows are to show the faithfulness of the new couple. 婚誓体现了新婚夫妇对婚姻的忠诚。
  • The nun took strait vows. 那位修女立下严格的誓愿。
53 bad-tempered bad-tempered     
adj.脾气坏的
参考例句:
  • He grew more and more bad-tempered as the afternoon wore on.随着下午一点点地过去,他的脾气也越来越坏。
  • I know he's often bad-tempered but really,you know,he's got a heart of gold.我知道他经常发脾气,但是,要知道,其实他心肠很好。
54 amends AzlzCR     
n. 赔偿
参考例句:
  • He made amends for his rudeness by giving her some flowers. 他送给她一些花,为他自己的鲁莽赔罪。
  • This country refuses stubbornly to make amends for its past war crimes. 该国顽固地拒绝为其过去的战争罪行赔罪。
55 affected TzUzg0     
adj.不自然的,假装的
参考例句:
  • She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
  • His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。
56 crumpled crumpled     
adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式
参考例句:
  • She crumpled the letter up into a ball and threw it on the fire. 她把那封信揉成一团扔进了火里。
  • She flattened out the crumpled letter on the desk. 她在写字台上把皱巴巴的信展平。
57 acting czRzoc     
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的
参考例句:
  • Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她,她只是假装的。
  • During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代,她的表演生涯黯然失色。
58 swarm dqlyj     
n.(昆虫)等一大群;vi.成群飞舞;蜂拥而入
参考例句:
  • There is a swarm of bees in the tree.这树上有一窝蜜蜂。
  • A swarm of ants are moving busily.一群蚂蚁正在忙碌地搬家。
59 behold jQKy9     
v.看,注视,看到
参考例句:
  • The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
  • The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。
60 chapel UXNzg     
n.小教堂,殡仪馆
参考例句:
  • The nimble hero,skipped into a chapel that stood near.敏捷的英雄跳进近旁的一座小教堂里。
  • She was on the peak that Sunday afternoon when she played in chapel.那个星期天的下午,她在小教堂的演出,可以说是登峰造极。
61 coffins 44894d235713b353f49bf59c028ff750     
n.棺材( coffin的名词复数 );使某人早亡[死,完蛋,垮台等]之物
参考例句:
  • The shop was close and hot, and the atmosphere seemed tainted with the smell of coffins. 店堂里相当闷热,空气仿佛被棺木的味儿污染了。 来自辞典例句
  • Donate some coffins to the temple, equal to the number of deaths. 到寺庙里,捐赠棺材盒给这些死者吧。 来自电影对白
62 monastery 2EOxe     
n.修道院,僧院,寺院
参考例句:
  • They found an icon in the monastery.他们在修道院中发现了一个圣像。
  • She was appointed the superior of the monastery two years ago.两年前她被任命为这个修道院的院长。
63 monk 5EDx8     
n.和尚,僧侣,修道士
参考例句:
  • The man was a monk from Emei Mountain.那人是峨眉山下来的和尚。
  • Buddhist monk sat with folded palms.和尚合掌打坐。
64 monks 218362e2c5f963a82756748713baf661     
n.修道士,僧侣( monk的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The monks lived a very ascetic life. 僧侣过着很清苦的生活。
  • He had been trained rigorously by the monks. 他接受过修道士的严格训练。 来自《简明英汉词典》
65 proceeding Vktzvu     
n.行动,进行,(pl.)会议录,学报
参考例句:
  • This train is now proceeding from Paris to London.这次列车从巴黎开往伦敦。
  • The work is proceeding briskly.工作很有生气地进展着。
66 homage eQZzK     
n.尊敬,敬意,崇敬
参考例句:
  • We pay homage to the genius of Shakespeare.我们对莎士比亚的天才表示敬仰。
  • The soldiers swore to pay their homage to the Queen.士兵们宣誓效忠于女王陛下。
67 countless 7vqz9L     
adj.无数的,多得不计其数的
参考例句:
  • In the war countless innocent people lost their lives.在这场战争中无数无辜的人丧失了性命。
  • I've told you countless times.我已经告诉你无数遍了。
68 impatience OaOxC     
n.不耐烦,急躁
参考例句:
  • He expressed impatience at the slow rate of progress.进展缓慢,他显得不耐烦。
  • He gave a stamp of impatience.他不耐烦地跺脚。
69 thoroughly sgmz0J     
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地
参考例句:
  • The soil must be thoroughly turned over before planting.一定要先把土地深翻一遍再下种。
  • The soldiers have been thoroughly instructed in the care of their weapons.士兵们都系统地接受过保护武器的训练。
70 gratitude p6wyS     
adj.感激,感谢
参考例句:
  • I have expressed the depth of my gratitude to him.我向他表示了深切的谢意。
  • She could not help her tears of gratitude rolling down her face.她感激的泪珠禁不住沿着面颊流了下来。
71 cowardice norzB     
n.胆小,怯懦
参考例句:
  • His cowardice reflects on his character.他的胆怯对他的性格带来不良影响。
  • His refusal to help simply pinpointed his cowardice.他拒绝帮助正显示他的胆小。
72 possessed xuyyQ     
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的
参考例句:
  • He flew out of the room like a man possessed.他像着了魔似地猛然冲出房门。
  • He behaved like someone possessed.他行为举止像是魔怔了。
73 dread Ekpz8     
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧
参考例句:
  • We all dread to think what will happen if the company closes.我们都不敢去想一旦公司关门我们该怎么办。
  • Her heart was relieved of its blankest dread.她极度恐惧的心理消除了。
74 neatly ynZzBp     
adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地
参考例句:
  • Sailors know how to wind up a long rope neatly.水手们知道怎样把一条大绳利落地缠好。
  • The child's dress is neatly gathered at the neck.那孩子的衣服在领口处打着整齐的皱褶。
75 lasting IpCz02     
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持
参考例句:
  • The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。
  • We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。
76 ecstasy 9kJzY     
n.狂喜,心醉神怡,入迷
参考例句:
  • He listened to the music with ecstasy.他听音乐听得入了神。
  • Speechless with ecstasy,the little boys gazed at the toys.小孩注视着那些玩具,高兴得说不出话来。
77 hustle McSzv     
v.推搡;竭力兜售或获取;催促;n.奔忙(碌)
参考例句:
  • It seems that he enjoys the hustle and bustle of life in the big city.看起来他似乎很喜欢大城市的热闹繁忙的生活。
  • I had to hustle through the crowded street.我不得不挤过拥挤的街道。
78 bustle esazC     
v.喧扰地忙乱,匆忙,奔忙;n.忙碌;喧闹
参考例句:
  • The bustle and din gradually faded to silence as night advanced.随着夜越来越深,喧闹声逐渐沉寂。
  • There is a lot of hustle and bustle in the railway station.火车站里非常拥挤。
79 perjurer a223ac9c1c036570f055b44b46856583     
n.伪誓者,伪证者
参考例句:
  • Look upon the Infamous Perjurer! 看看这位声名狼藉的伪证犯! 来自互联网
80 doctrine Pkszt     
n.教义;主义;学说
参考例句:
  • He was impelled to proclaim his doctrine.他不得不宣扬他的教义。
  • The council met to consider changes to doctrine.宗教议会开会考虑更改教义。
81 disciples e24b5e52634d7118146b7b4e56748cac     
n.信徒( disciple的名词复数 );门徒;耶稣的信徒;(尤指)耶稣十二门徒之一
参考例句:
  • Judas was one of the twelve disciples of Jesus. 犹大是耶稣十二门徒之一。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • "The names of the first two disciples were --" “最初的两个门徒的名字是——” 来自英汉文学 - 汤姆历险
82 wrought EoZyr     
v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的
参考例句:
  • Events in Paris wrought a change in British opinion towards France and Germany.巴黎发生的事件改变了英国对法国和德国的看法。
  • It's a walking stick with a gold head wrought in the form of a flower.那是一个金质花形包头的拐杖。
83 enlisted 2d04964099d0ec430db1d422c56be9e2     
adj.应募入伍的v.(使)入伍, (使)参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 );获得(帮助或支持)
参考例句:
  • enlisted men and women 男兵和女兵
  • He enlisted with the air force to fight against the enemy. 他应募加入空军对敌作战。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
84 reigned d99f19ecce82a94e1b24a320d3629de5     
vi.当政,统治(reign的过去式形式)
参考例句:
  • Silence reigned in the hall. 全场肃静。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Night was deep and dead silence reigned everywhere. 夜深人静,一片死寂。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
85 solitude xF9yw     
n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方
参考例句:
  • People need a chance to reflect on spiritual matters in solitude. 人们需要独处的机会来反思精神上的事情。
  • They searched for a place where they could live in solitude. 他们寻找一个可以过隐居生活的地方。


欢迎访问英文小说网

©英文小说网 2005-2010

有任何问题,请给我们留言,管理员邮箱:[email protected]  站长QQ :点击发送消息和我们联系56065533