Chapter 31

Of Ralph Nickleby and Newman Noggs, and somewise Precautions, the success or failure of whichwill appear in the Sequel.

　　In blissful unconsciousness that his nephew was hastening atthe utmost speed of four good horses towards his sphere ofaction, and that every passing minute diminished the distancebetween them, Ralph Nickleby sat that morning occupied in hiscustomary avocations, and yet unable to prevent his thoughtswandering from time to time back to the interview which hadtaken place between himself and his niece on the previous day. Atsuch intervals, after a few moments of abstraction, Ralph wouldmutter some peevish interjection, and apply himself with renewedsteadiness of purpose to the ledger before him, but again andagain the same train of thought came back despite all his efforts toprevent it, confusing him in his calculations, and utterlydistracting his attention from the figures over which he bent. Atlength Ralph laid down his pen, and threw himself back in hischair as though he had made up his mind to allow the obtrusivecurrent of reflection to take its own course, and, by giving it fullscope, to rid himself of it effectually.

　　‘I am not a man to be moved by a pretty face,’ muttered Ralphsternly. ‘There is a grinning skull beneath it, and men like me wholook and work below the surface see that, and not its delicatecovering. And yet I almost like the girl, or should if she had beenless proudly and squeamishly brought up. If the boy were drowned or hanged, and the mother dead, this house should beher home. I wish they were, with all my soul.’

　　Notwithstanding the deadly hatred which Ralph felt towardsNicholas, and the bitter contempt with which he sneered at poorMrs Nickleby—notwithstanding the baseness with which he hadbehaved, and was then behaving, and would behave again if hisinterest prompted him, towards Kate herself—still there was,strange though it may seem, something humanising and evengentle in his thoughts at that moment. He thought of what hishome might be if Kate were there; he placed her in the emptychair, looked upon her, heard her speak; he felt again upon hisarm the gentle pressure of the trembling hand; he strewed hiscostly rooms with the hundred silent tokens of feminine presenceand occupation; he came back again to the cold fireside and thesilent dreary splendour; and in that one glimpse of a better nature,born as it was in selfish thoughts, the rich man felt himselffriendless, childless, and alone. Gold, for the instant, lost its lustrein his eyes, for there were countless treasures of the heart which itcould never purchase.

　　A very slight circumstance was sufficient to banish suchreflections from the mind of such a man. As Ralph looked vacantlyout across the yard towards the window of the other office, hebecame suddenly aware of the earnest observation of NewmanNoggs, who, with his red nose almost touching the glass, feigned tobe mending a pen with a rusty fragment of a knife, but was inreality staring at his employer with a countenance of the closestand most eager scrutiny.

　　Ralph exchanged his dreamy posture for his accustomedbusiness attitude: the face of Newman disappeared, and the train of thought took to flight, all simultaneously, and in an instant.

　　After a few minutes, Ralph rang his bell. Newman answered thesummons, and Ralph raised his eyes stealthily to his face, as if healmost feared to read there, a knowledge of his recent thoughts.

　　There was not the smallest speculation, however, in thecountenance of Newman Noggs. If it be possible to imagine a man,with two eyes in his head, and both wide open, looking in nodirection whatever, and seeing nothing, Newman appeared to bethat man while Ralph Nickleby regarded him.

　　‘How now?’ growled Ralph.

　　‘Oh!’ said Newman, throwing some intelligence into his eyes allat once, and dropping them on his master, ‘I thought you rang.’

　　With which laconic remark Newman turned round and hobbledaway.

　　‘Stop!’ said Ralph.

　　Newman stopped; not at all disconcerted.

　　‘I did ring.’

　　‘I knew you did.’

　　‘Then why do you offer to go if you know that?’

　　‘I thought you rang to say you didn’t ring” replied Newman.

　　‘You often do.’

　　‘How dare you pry, and peer, and stare at me, sirrah?’

　　demanded Ralph.

　　‘Stare!’ cried Newman, ‘at you! Ha, ha!’ which was all theexplanation Newman deigned to offer.

　　‘Be careful, sir,’ said Ralph, looking steadily at him. ‘Let mehave no drunken fooling here. Do you see this parcel?’

　　‘It’s big enough,’ rejoined Newman.

　　‘Carry it into the city; to Cross, in Broad Street, and leave it there—quick. Do you hear?’

　　Newman gave a dogged kind of nod to express an affirmativereply, and, leaving the room for a few seconds, returned with hishat. Having made various ineffective attempts to fit the parcel(which was some two feet square) into the crown thereof, Newmantook it under his arm, and after putting on his fingerless gloveswith great precision and nicety, keeping his eyes fixed upon MrRalph Nickleby all the time, he adjusted his hat upon his headwith as much care, real or pretended, as if it were a bran-new oneof the most expensive quality, and at last departed on his errand.

　　He executed his commission with great promptitude anddispatch, only calling at one public-house for half a minute, andeven that might be said to be in his way, for he went in at one doorand came out at the other; but as he returned and had got so farhomewards as the Strand, Newman began to loiter with theuncertain air of a man who has not quite made up his mindwhether to halt or go straight forwards. After a very shortconsideration, the former inclination prevailed, and makingtowards the point he had had in his mind, Newman knocked amodest double knock, or rather a nervous single one, at Miss LaCreevy’s door.

　　It was opened by a strange servant, on whom the odd figure ofthe visitor did not appear to make the most favourable impressionpossible, inasmuch as she no sooner saw him than she very nearlyclosed it, and placing herself in the narrow gap, inquired what hewanted. But Newman merely uttering the monosyllable ‘Noggs,’

　　as if it were some cabalistic word, at sound of which bolts wouldfly back and doors open, pushed briskly past and gained the doorof Miss La Creevy’s sitting-room, before the astonished servant could offer any opposition.

　　‘Walk in if you please,’ said Miss La Creevy in reply to thesound of Newman’s knuckles; and in he walked accordingly.

　　‘Bless us!’ cried Miss La Creevy, starting as Newman bolted in;‘what did you want, sir?’

　　‘You have forgotten me,’ said Newman, with an inclination ofthe head. ‘I wonder at that. That nobody should remember mewho knew me in other days, is natural enough; but there are fewpeople who, seeing me once, forget me now.’ He glanced, as hespoke, at his shabby clothes and paralytic limb, and slightly shookhis head.

　　‘I did forget you, I declare,’ said Miss La Creevy, rising toreceive Newman, who met her half-way, ‘and I am ashamed ofmyself for doing so; for you are a kind, good creature, Mr Noggs.

　　Sit down and tell me all about Miss Nickleby. Poor dear thing! Ihaven’t seen her for this many a week.’

　　‘How’s that?’ asked Newman.

　　‘Why, the truth is, Mr Noggs,’ said Miss La Creevy, ‘that I havebeen out on a visit—the first visit I have made for fifteen years.’

　　‘That is a long time,’ said Newman, sadly.

　　‘So it is a very long time to look back upon in years, though,somehow or other, thank Heaven, the solitary days roll awaypeacefully and happily enough,’ replied the miniature painter. ‘Ihave a brother, Mr Noggs—the only relation I have—and all thattime I never saw him once. Not that we ever quarrelled, but hewas apprenticed down in the country, and he got married there;and new ties and affections springing up about him, he forgot apoor little woman like me, as it was very reasonable he should, youknow. Don’t suppose that I complain about that, because I always said to myself, “It is very natural; poor dear John is making hisway in the world, and has a wife to tell his cares and troubles to,and children now to play about him, so God bless him and them,and send we may all meet together one day where we shall part nomore.” But what do you think, Mr Noggs,’ said the miniaturepainter, brightening up and clapping her hands, ‘of that very samebrother coming up to London at last, and never resting till hefound me out; what do you think of his coming here and sittingdown in that very chair, and crying like a child because he was soglad to see me—what do you think of his insisting on taking medown all the way into the country to his own house (quite asumptuous place, Mr Noggs, with a large garden and I don’t knowhow many fields, and a man in livery waiting at table, and cowsand horses and pigs and I don’t know what besides), and makingme stay a whole month, and pressing me to stop there all my life—yes, all my life—and so did his wife, and so did the children—andthere were four of them, and one, the eldest girl of all, they—theyhad named her after me eight good years before, they had indeed.

　　I never was so happy; in all my life I never was!’ The worthy soulhid her face in her handkerchief, and sobbed aloud; for it was thefirst opportunity she had had of unburdening her heart, and itwould have its way. ‘But bless my life,’ said Miss La Creevy,wiping her eyes after a short pause, and cramming herhandkerchief into her pocket with great bustle and dispatch; ‘whata foolish creature I must seem to you, Mr Noggs! I shouldn’t havesaid anything about it, only I wanted to explain to you how it was Ihadn’t seen Miss Nickleby.’

　　‘Have you seen the old lady?’ asked Newman.

　　‘You mean Mrs Nickleby?’ said Miss La Creevy. ‘Then I tell you what, Mr Noggs, if you want to keep in the good books in thatquarter, you had better not call her the old lady any more, for Isuspect she wouldn’t be best pleased to hear you. Yes, I went therethe night before last, but she was quite on the high ropes aboutsomething, and was so grand and mysterious, that I couldn’t makeanything of her: so, to tell you the truth, I took it into my head tobe grand too, and came away in state. I thought she would havecome round again before this, but she hasn’t been here.’

　　‘About Miss Nickleby—’ said Newman.

　　‘Why, she was here twice while I was away,’ returned Miss LaCreevy. ‘I was afraid she mightn’t like to have me calling on heramong those great folks in what’s-its-name Place, so I thought I’dwait a day or two, and if I didn’t see her, write.’

　　‘Ah!’ exclaimed Newman, cracking his fingers.

　　‘However, I want to hear all the news about them from you,’

　　said Miss La Creevy. ‘How is the old rough and tough monster ofGolden Square? Well, of course; such people always are. I don’tmean how is he in health, but how is he going on: how is hebehaving himself?’

　　‘Damn him!’ cried Newman, dashing his cherished hat on thefloor; ‘like a false hound.’

　　‘Gracious, Mr Noggs, you quite terrify me!’ exclaimed Miss LaCreevy, turning pale.

　　‘I should have spoilt his features yesterday afternoon if I couldhave afforded it,’ said Newman, moving restlessly about, andshaking his fist at a portrait of Mr Canning over the mantelpiece. ‘Iwas very near it. I was obliged to put my hands in my pockets, andkeep ’em there very tight. I shall do it some day in that little back-parlour, I know I shall. I should have done it before now, if I hadn’t been afraid of making bad worse. I shall double-lock myselfin with him and have it out before I die, I’m quite certain of it.’

　　‘I shall scream if you don’t compose yourself, Mr Noggs,’ saidMiss La Creevy; ‘I’m sure I shan’t be able to help it.’

　　‘Never mind,’ rejoined Newman, darting violently to and fro.

　　‘He’s coming up tonight: I wrote to tell him. He little thinks Iknow; he little thinks I care. Cunning scoundrel! he don’t thinkthat. Not he, not he. Never mind, I’ll thwart him—I, NewmanNoggs. Ho, ho, the rascal!’

　　Lashing himself up to an extravagant pitch of fury, NewmanNoggs jerked himself about the room with the most eccentricmotion ever beheld in a human being: now sparring at the littleminiatures on the wall, and now giving himself violent thumps onthe head, as if to heighten the delusion, until he sank down in hisformer seat quite breathless and exhausted.

　　‘There,’ said Newman, picking up his hat; ‘that’s done me good.

　　Now I’m better, and I’ll tell you all about it.’

　　It took some little time to reassure Miss La Creevy, who hadbeen almost frightened out of her senses by this remarkabledemonstration; but that done, Newman faithfully related all thathad passed in the interview between Kate and her uncle,prefacing his narrative with a statement of his previous suspicionson the subject, and his reasons for forming them; and concludingwith a communication of the step he had taken in secretly writingto Nicholas.

　　Though little Miss La Creevy’s indignation was not sosingularly displayed as Newman’s, it was scarcely inferior inviolence and intensity. Indeed, if Ralph Nickleby had happened tomake his appearance in the room at that moment, there is some doubt whether he would not have found Miss La Creevy a moredangerous opponent than even Newman Noggs himself.

　　‘God forgive me for saying so,’ said Miss La Creevy, as a windup to all her expressions of anger, ‘but I really feel as if I couldstick this into him with pleasure.’

　　It was not a very awful weapon that Miss La Creevy held, itbeing in fact nothing more nor less than a black-lead pencil; butdiscovering her mistake, the little portrait painter exchanged it fora mother-of-pearl fruit knife, wherewith, in proof of her desperatethoughts, she made a lunge as she spoke, which would havescarcely disturbed the crumb of a half-quartern loaf.

　　‘She won’t stop where she is after tonight,’ said Newman.

　　‘That’s a comfort.’

　　‘Stop!’ cried Miss La Creevy, ‘she should have left there, weeksago.’

　　‘—If we had known of this,’ rejoined Newman. ‘But we didn’t.

　　Nobody could properly interfere but her mother or brother. Themother’s weak—poor thing—weak. The dear young man will behere tonight.’

　　‘Heart alive!’ cried Miss La Creevy. ‘He will do somethingdesperate, Mr Noggs, if you tell him all at once.’

　　Newman left off rubbing his hands, and assumed a thoughtfullook.

　　‘Depend upon it,’ said Miss La Creevy, earnestly, ‘if you are notvery careful in breaking out the truth to him, he will do someviolence upon his uncle or one of these men that will bring someterrible calamity upon his own head, and grief and sorrow to usall.’

　　‘I never thought of that,’ rejoined Newman, his countenance falling more and more. ‘I came to ask you to receive his sister incase he brought her here, but—’

　　‘But this is a matter of much greater importance,’ interruptedMiss La Creevy; ‘that you might have been sure of before youcame, but the end of this, nobody can foresee, unless you are veryguarded and careful.’

　　‘What can I do?’ cried Newman, scratching his head with an airof great vexation and perplexity. ‘If he was to talk of pistoling ’emall, I should be obliged to say, “Certainly—serve ’em right.”’

　　Miss La Creevy could not suppress a small shriek on hearingthis, and instantly set about extorting a solemn pledge fromNewman that he would use his utmost endeavours to pacify thewrath of Nicholas; which, after some demur, was conceded. Theythen consulted together on the safest and surest mode ofcommunicating to him the circumstances which had rendered hispresence necessary.

　　‘He must have time to cool before he can possibly do anything,’

　　said Miss La Creevy. ‘That is of the greatest consequence. He mustnot be told until late at night.’

　　‘But he’ll be in town between six and seven this evening,’

　　replied Newman. ‘I can’t keep it from him when he asks me.’

　　‘Then you must go out, Mr Noggs,’ said Miss La Creevy. ‘Youcan easily have been kept away by business, and must not returntill nearly midnight.’

　　‘Then he will come straight here,’ retorted Newman.

　　‘So I suppose,’ observed Miss La Creevy; ‘but he won’t find meat home, for I’ll go straight to the city the instant you leave me,make up matters with Mrs Nickleby, and take her away to thetheatre, so that he may not even know where his sister lives.’

　　 Upon further discussion, this appeared the safest and mostfeasible mode of proceeding that could possibly be adopted.

　　Therefore it was finally determined that matters should be soarranged, and Newman, after listening to many supplementarycautions and entreaties, took his leave of Miss La Creevy andtrudged back to Golden Square; ruminating as he went upon avast number of possibilities and impossibilities which crowdedupon his brain, and arose out of the conversation that had justterminated.