Home again. Mrs. James' influence on Carrie. Can get nothing forLupin. Next-door neighbours are a little troublesome. Some onetampers with my diary. Got a place for Lupin. Lupin startles us with anannouncement.
August 22. - Home sweet Home again! Carrie bought some prettyblue-wool mats to stand vases on. Fripps, Janus and Co. write to saythey are sorry they have no vacancy among their staff of clerks for Lupin.
August 23. - I bought a pair of stags' heads made of plaster-of- Parisand coloured brown. They will look just the thing for our little hall, andgive it style; the heads are excellent imitations. Poolers and Smith aresorry they have nothing to offer Lupin.
August 24. - Simply to please Lupin, and make things cheerful for him,as he is a little down, Carrie invited Mrs. James to come up from Suttonand spend two or three days with us. We have not said a word to Lupin,but mean to keep it as a surprise.
August 25. - Mrs. James, of Sutton, arrived in the afternoon, bringingwith her an enormous bunch of wild flowers. The more I see of MrsJames the nicer I think she is, and she is devoted to Carrie. She went intoCarrie's room to take off her bonnet, and remained there nearly an hourtalking about dress. Lupin said he was not a bit surprised at Mrs. James'
VISIT, but was surprised at HER.
August 26, Sunday. - Nearly late for church, Mrs. James having talkedconsiderably about what to wear all the morning. Lupin does not seem toget on very well with Mrs. James. I am afraid we shall have sometrouble with our next-door neighbours who came in last Wednesday.
Several of their friends, who drive up in dog-carts, have already madethemselves objectionable.
An evening or two ago I had put on a white waistcoat for coolness, andwhile walking past with my thumbs in my waistcoat pockets (a habit Ihave), one man, seated in the cart, and looking like an American, commenced singing some vulgar nonsense about "I HAD THIRTEENDOLLARS IN MY WAISTCOAT POCKET." I fancied it was meant forme, and my suspicions were confirmed; for while walking round thegarden in my tall hat this afternoon, a "throw-down" cracker wasdeliberately aimed at my hat, and exploded on it like a percussion cap.
turned sharply, and am positive I saw the man who was in the cartretreating from one of the bedroom windows.
August 27. -Carrie and Mrs. James went off shopping, and had notreturned when I came back from the office. Judging from the subsequentconversation, I am afraid Mrs. James is filling Carrie's head with a lot ofnonsense about dress. I walked over to Gowing's and asked him to dropin to supper, and make things pleasant.
Carrie prepared a little extemporised supper, consisting of theremainder of the cold joint, a small piece of salmon (which I was to refuse,in case there was not enough to go round), and a blanc- mange andcustards. There was also a decanter of port and some jam puffs on thesideboard. Mrs. James made us play rather a good game of cards, called"Muggings." To my surprise, in fact disgust, Lupin got up in the middle,and, in a most sarcastic tone, said: "Pardon me, this sort of thing is too fastfor me, I shall go and enjoy a quiet game of marbles in the back-garden."Things might have become rather disagreeable but for Gowing (whoseems to have taken to Lupin) suggesting they should invent games. Lupinsaid: "Let's play 'monkeys.'" He then led Gowing all round the room,and brought him in front of the looking-glass. I must confess I laughedheartily at this. I was a little vexed at everybody subsequently laughingat some joke which they did not explain, and it was only on going to bed Idiscovered I must have been walking about all the evening with anantimacassar on one button of my coat-tails.
August 28. -Found a large brick in the middle bed of geraniums,evidently come from next door. Pattles and Pattles can't find a place forLupin.
August 29. - Mrs. James is making a positive fool of Carrie. Carrieappeared in a new dress like a smock-frock. She said "smocking" was allthe rage. I replied it put me in a rage. She also had on a hat as big as a kitchen coal-scuttle, and the same shape. Mrs. James went home, andboth Lupin and I were somewhat pleased - the first time we have agreedon a single subject since his return. Merkins and Son write they have novacancy for Lupin.
October 30. - I should very much like to know who has wilfully tornthe last five or six weeks out of my diary. It is perfectly monstrous!
Mine is a large scribbling diary, with plenty of space for the record of myeveryday events, and in keeping up that record I take (with much pride) agreat deal of pains.
I asked Carrie if she knew anything about it. She replied it was myown fault for leaving the diary about with a charwoman cleaning and thesweeps in the house. I said that was not an answer to my question. Thisretort of mine, which I thought extremely smart, would have been moreeffective had I not jogged my elbow against a vase on a table temporarilyplaced in the passage, knocked it over, and smashed it.
Carrie was dreadfully upset at this disaster, for it was one of a pair ofvases which cannot be matched, given to us on our wedding- day by Mrs.
Burtsett, an old friend of Carrie's cousins, the Pommertons, late of Dalston.
I called to Sarah, and asked her about the diary. She said she had notbeen in the sitting-room at all; after the sweep had left, Mrs. Birrell (thecharwoman) had cleaned the room and lighted the fire herself. Finding aburnt piece of paper in the grate, I examined it, and found it was a piece ofmy diary. So it was evident some one had torn my diary to light the fire.
I requested Mrs. Birrell to be sent to me to- morrow.
October 31. - Received a letter from our principal, Mr. Perkupp, sayingthat he thinks he knows of a place at last for our dear boy Lupin. This, ina measure, consoles me for the loss of a portion of my diary; for I ambound to confess the last few weeks have been devoted to the record ofdisappointing answers received from people to whom I have applied forappointments for Lupin. Mrs. Birrell called, and, in reply to me, said:
"She never SEE no book, much less take such a liberty as TOUCH it."I said I was determined to find out who did it, whereupon she said shewould do her best to help me; but she remembered the sweep lighting thefire with a bit of the ECHO. I requested the sweep to be sent to me to morrow. I wish Carrie had not given Lupin a latch-key; we never seemto see anything of him. I sat up till past one for him, and then retiredtired.
November 1. -My entry yesterday about "retired tired," which I didnot notice at the time, is rather funny. If I were not so worried just now, Imight have had a little joke about it. The sweep called, but had theaudacity to come up to the hall-door and lean his dirty bag of soot on thedoor-step. He, however, was so polite, I could not rebuke him. He saidSarah lighted the fire. Unfortunately, Sarah heard this, for she was dustingthe banisters, and she ran down, and flew into a temper with the sweep,causing a row on the front door-steps, which I would not have had happenfor anything. I ordered her about her business, and told the sweep I wassorry to have troubled him; and so I was, for the door-steps were coveredwith soot in consequence of his visit. I would willingly give ten shillingsto find out who tore my diary.
November 2. -I spent the evening quietly with Carrie, of whosecompany I never tire. We had a most pleasant chat about the letters on"Is Marriage a Failure?" It has been no failure in our case. In talkingover our own happy experiences, we never noticed that it was pastmidnight. We were startled by hearing the door slam violently. Lupinhad come in. He made no attempt to turn down the gas in the passage, oreven to look into the room where we were, but went straight up to bed,making a terrible noise. I asked him to come down for a moment, and hebegged to be excused, as he was "dead beat," an observation that wasscarcely consistent with the fact that, for a quarter of an hour afterwards,he was positively dancing in his room, and shouting out, "See me dancethe polka!" or some such nonsense.
November 3. - Good news at last. Mr. Perkupp has got anappointment for Lupin, and he is to go and see about it on Monday. Oh,how my mind is relieved! I went to Lupin's room to take the good newsto him, but he was in bed, very seedy, so I resolved to keep it over till theevening.
He said he had last night been elected a member of an AmateurDramatic Club, called the "Holloway Comedians"; and, though it was a pleasant evening, he had sat in a draught, and got neuralgia in the head.
He declined to have any breakfast, so I left him. In the evening I had upa special bottle of port, and, Lupin being in for a wonder, we filled ourglasses, and I said: "Lupin my boy, I have some good and unexpectednews for you. Mr. Perkupp has procured you an appointment!" Lupinsaid: "Good biz!" and we drained our glasses.
Lupin then said: "Fill up the glasses again, for I have some good andunexpected news for you."I had some slight misgivings, and so evidently had Carrie, for she said:
"I hope we shall think it good news."Lupin said: "Oh, it's all right! I'M ENGAGED TO BEMARRIED!"
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