She passed a night of physical misery1, exasperated2 by the tireless rattling3 vitality4 of the street. She kept saying to herself: "I'm all alone now, and I'm going to be ill. I am ill." She saw herself dying in Paris, and heard the expressions of facile sympathy and idle curiosity drawn5 forth6 by the sight of the dead body of this foreign woman in a little Paris hotel. She reached the stage, in the gradual excruciation of her nerves, when she was obliged to concentrate her agonized7 mind on an intense and painful expectancy8 of the next new noise, which when it came increased her torture and decreased her strength to support it. She went through all the interminable dilatoriness9 of the dawn, from the moment when she could scarcely discern the window to the moment when she could read the word 'Bock' on the red circlet of paper which had tossed all night on the sea of the counterpane. She knew she would never sleep again. She could not imagine herself asleep; and then she was startled by a sound that seemed to clash with the rest of her impressions. It was a knocking at the door. With a start she perceived that she must have been asleep.
"Enter," she murmured.
There entered the menial in alpaca. His waxen face showed a morose10 commiseration11. He noiselessly approached the bed--he seemed to have none of the characteristics of a man, but to be a creature infinitely12 mysterious and aloof13 from humanity--and held out to Sophia a visiting card in his grey hand.
It was Chirac's card.
"Monsieur asked for monsieur," said the waiter. "And then, as monsieur had gone away he demanded to see madame. He says it is very important."
Her heart jumped, partly in vague alarm, and partly with a sense of relief at this chance of speaking to some one whom she knew. She tried to reflect rationally.
"What time is it?" she inquired.
"Eleven o'clock, madame."
This was surprising. The fact that it was eleven o'clock destroyed the remains14 of her self-confidence. How could it be eleven o'clock, with the dawn scarcely finished?
"He says it is very important," repeated the waiter, imperturbably15 and solemnly. "Will madame see him an instant?"
Between resignation and anticipation16 she said: "Yes."
"It is well, madame," said the waiter, disappearing without a sound.
She sat up and managed to drag her matinee from a chair and put it around her shoulders. Then she sank back from weakness, physical and spiritual. She hated to receive Chirac in a bedroom, and particularly in that bedroom. But the hotel had no public room except the dining-room, which began to be occupied after eleven o'clock. Moreover, she could not possibly get up. Yes, on the whole she was pleased to see Chirac. He was almost her only acquaintance, assuredly the only being whom she could by any stretch of meaning call a friend, in the whole of Europe. Gerald and she had wandered to and fro, skimming always over the real life of nations, and never penetrating17 into it. There was no place for them, because they had made none. With the exception of Chirac, whom an accident of business had thrown, into Gerald's company years before, they had no social relations. Gerald was not a man to make friends; he did not seem to need friends, or at any rate to feel the want of them. But, as chance had given him Chirac, he maintained the connection whenever they came to Paris. Sophia, of course, had not been able to escape from the solitude18 imposed by existence in hotels. Since her marriage she had never spoken to a woman in the way of intimacy20. But once or twice she had approached intimacy with Chirac, whose wistful admiration21 for her always aroused into activity her desire to charm.
Preceded by the menial, he came into the room hurriedly, apologetically, with an air of acute anxiety. And as he saw her lying on her back, with flushed features, her hair disarranged, and only the grace of the silk ribbons of her matinee to mitigate22 the melancholy23 repulsiveness24 of her surroundings, that anxiety seemed to deepen.
"Dear madame," he stammered25, "all my excuses!" He hastened to the bedside and kissed her hand--a little peek26 according to his custom. "You are ill?"
"I have my migraine," she said. "You want Gerald?"
"Yes," he said diffidently. "He had promised----"
"He has left me," Sophia interrupted him in her weak and fatigued27 voice. She closed her eyes as she uttered the words.
"Left you?" He glanced round to be sure that the waiter had retired28.
"Quitted me! Abandoned me! Last night!"
"Not possible!" he breathed.
She nodded. She felt intimate with him. Like all secretive persons, she could be suddenly expansive at times.
"It is serious?" he questioned.
"All that is most serious," she replied.
"And you ill! Ah, the wretch29! Ah, the wretch! That, for example!" He waved his hat about.
"What is it you want, Chirac?" she demanded, in a confidential30 tone.
"Eh, well," said Chirac. "You do not know where he has gone?"
"No. What do you want?" she insisted.
He was nervous. He fidgetted. She guessed that, though warm with sympathy for her plight31, he was preoccupied32 by interests and apprehensions33 of his own. He did not refuse her request temporarily to leave the astonishing matter of her situation in order to discuss the matter of his visit.
"Eh, well! He came to me yesterday afternoon in the Rue34 Croissant to borrow some money."
She understood then the object of Gerald's stroll on the previous afternoon.
"I hope you didn't lend him any," she said.
"Eh, well! It was like this. He said he ought to have received five thousand francs yesterday morning, but that he had had a telegram that it would not arrive till to-day. And he had need of five hundred francs at once. I had not five hundred francs"--he smiled sadly, as if to insinuate35 that he did not handle such sums- -"but I borrowed it from the cashbox of the journal. It is necessary, absolutely, that I should return it this morning." He spoke19 with increased seriousness. "Your husband said he would take a cab and bring me the money immediately on the arrival of the post this morning--about nine o'clock. Pardon me for deranging36 you with such a----"
He stopped. She could see that he really was grieved to 'derange37' her, but that circumstances pressed.
"At my paper," he murmured, "it is not so easy as that to--in fine----!"
Gerald had genuinely been at his last francs. He had not lied when she thought he had lied. The nakedness of his character showed now. Instantly upon the final and definite cessation of the lawful38 supply of money, he had set his wits to obtain money unlawfully. He had, in fact, simply stolen it from Chirac, with the ornamental39 addition of endangering Chirac's reputation and situation--as a sort of reward to Chirac for the kindness! And, further, no sooner had he got hold of the money than it had intoxicated40 him, and he had yielded to the first fatuous41 temptation. He had no sense of responsibility, no scruple42. And as for common prudence--had he not risked permanent disgrace and even prison for a paltry43 sum which he would certainly squander44 in two or three days? Yes, it was indubitable that he would stop at nothing, at nothing whatever.
"You did not know that he was coming to me?" asked Chirac, pulling his short, silky brown beard.
"No," Sophia answered.
"But he said that you had charged him with your friendlinesses to me!" He nodded his head once or twice, sadly but candidly45 accepting, in his quality of a Latin, the plain facts of human nature--reconciling himself to them at once.
Sophia revolted at this crowning detail of the structure of Gerald's rascality46.
"It is fortunate that I can pay you," she said.
"But----" he tried to protest.
"I have quite enough money."
She did not say this to screen Gerald, but merely from amour- propre. She would not let Chirac think that she was the wife of a man bereft47 of all honour. And so she clothed Gerald with the rag of having, at any rate, not left her in destitution48 as well as in sickness. Her assertion seemed a strange one, in view of the fact that he had abandoned her on the previous evening--that is to say, immediately after the borrowing from Chirac. But Chirac did not examine the statement.
"Perhaps he has the intention to send me the money. Perhaps, after all, he is now at the offices----"
"No," said Sophia. "He is gone. Will you go downstairs and wait for me. We will go together to Cook's office. It is English money I have."
"Cook's?" he repeated. The word now so potent49 had then little significance. "But you are ill. You cannot----"
"I feel better."
She did. Or rather, she felt nothing except the power of her resolve to remove the painful anxiety from that wistful brow. The shame of the trick played on Chirac awakened50 new forces in her. She dressed in a physical torment51 which, however, had no more reality than a nightmare. She searched in a place where even an inquisitive52 husband would not think of looking, and then, painfully, she descended53 the long stairs, holding to the rail, which swam round and round her, carrying the whole staircase with it. "After all," she thought, "I can't be seriously ill, or I shouldn't have been able to get up and go out like this. I never guessed early this morning that I could do it! I can't possibly be as ill as I thought I was!"
And in the vestibule she encountered Chirac's face, lightening at the sight of her, which proved to him that his deliverance was really to be accomplished54.
"Permit me----"
"I'm all right," she smiled, tottering55. "Get a cab." It suddenly occurred to her that she might quite as easily have given him the money in English notes; he could have changed them. But she had not thought. Her brain would not operate. She was dreaming and waking together.
He helped her into the cab.
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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exasperated
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| adj.恼怒的 | |
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rattling
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| adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词 | |
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vitality
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| n.活力，生命力，效力 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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agonized
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| v.使（极度）痛苦，折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 )；苦斗；苦苦思索；感到极度痛苦 | |
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expectancy
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| n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额 | |
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dilatoriness
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| n.迟缓，拖延 | |
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morose
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| adj.脾气坏的，不高兴的 | |
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commiseration
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| n.怜悯，同情 | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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imperturbably
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| adv.泰然地，镇静地，平静地 | |
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anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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penetrating
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| adj.（声音）响亮的，尖锐的adj.（气味）刺激的adj.（思想）敏锐的，有洞察力的 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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mitigate
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| vt.（使）减轻，（使）缓和 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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repulsiveness
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stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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peek
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| vi.偷看，窥视；n.偷偷的一看，一瞥 | |
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fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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plight
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| n.困境，境况，誓约，艰难；vt.宣誓，保证，约定 | |
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32
preoccupied
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| adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式) | |
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apprehensions
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| 疑惧 | |
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rue
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| n.懊悔，芸香，后悔；v.后悔，悲伤，懊悔 | |
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insinuate
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| vt.含沙射影地说，暗示 | |
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deranging
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| v.疯狂的，神经错乱的( deranged的过去分词 )；混乱的 | |
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derange
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| v.使精神错乱 | |
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lawful
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| adj.法律许可的，守法的，合法的 | |
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ornamental
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| adj.装饰的；作装饰用的；n.装饰品；观赏植物 | |
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40
intoxicated
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| 喝醉的，极其兴奋的 | |
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41
fatuous
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| adj.愚昧的；昏庸的 | |
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42
scruple
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| n./v.顾忌，迟疑 | |
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paltry
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| adj.无价值的，微不足道的 | |
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squander
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| v.浪费，挥霍 | |
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candidly
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| adv.坦率地，直率而诚恳地 | |
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46
rascality
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| 流氓性，流氓集团 | |
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bereft
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| adj.被剥夺的 | |
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48
destitution
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| n.穷困，缺乏，贫穷 | |
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49
potent
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| adj.强有力的，有权势的；有效力的 | |
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50
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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51
torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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52
inquisitive
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| adj.求知欲强的，好奇的，好寻根究底的 | |
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53
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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54
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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55
tottering
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| adj.蹒跚的，动摇的v.走得或动得不稳( totter的现在分词 )；踉跄；蹒跚；摇摇欲坠 | |
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