CHAPTER XXIV

 "I am going to America," she said.

 

They sat in the sitting-room¹ at Carteret street. Richard had not seen her since the dinner at the vegetarian² restaurant, and these were almost the first words she addressed to him. Her voice was as tranquil³ as usual; but he discerned, or thought he discerned, in her manner a consciousness that she was guilty towards him, that at least she was not treating him justly.

 

The blow was like that of a bullet: he did not immediately feel it.

 

"Really?" he questioned foolishly, and then, though he knew that she would never return: "For how long are you going, and how soon?"

 

"Very soon, because I always do things in a hurry. I don't know for how long. It's indefinite. I have had a letter from my uncles in San Francisco, and they say I must join them; they can't do without me. They are making a lot of money now, and neither of them is married.... So I suppose I must obey like a good girl. You see I have no relatives here, except Aunt Grace."

 

 

"You many never come back to England?"

 

(Did she colour, or was it Richard's fancy?)

 

"Well, I expect I may visit Europe sometimes. It wouldn't do to give England up entirely⁵. There are so many nice things in England,—in London especially...."

 

Once, in late boyhood, he had sat for an examination which he felt confident of passing. When the announcement arrived that he failed, he could not believe it, though all the time he knew it to be true. His thoughts ran monotonously⁶: "There must be some mistake; there must be some mistake!" and like a little child in the night, he resolutely⁷ shut his eyes to keep out the darkness of the future. The same puerility⁸ marked him now. Assuming that Adeline fulfilled her intention, his existence in London promised to be tragically⁹ cheerless. But this gave him no immediate⁴ concern, because he refused to contemplate¹⁰ the possibility of their intimacy¹¹ being severed¹². He had, indeed, ceased to think; somewhere at the back of the brain his thoughts lay in wait for him. For the next two hours (until he left the house) he lived mechanically, as it were, and not by volition¹³, subsisting¹⁴ merely on a previously¹⁶ acquired momentum¹⁷.

 

He sat in front of her and listened. She began to talk of her uncles Mark and Luke. She described them in detail, told stories of her childhood, even recounted the common incidents of her daily life with them. She dwelt on their kindness of heart, and their affection for herself; and with it all she seemed a little to patronise them, as though she had been accustomed to regard them as her slaves.

 

"They are rather old-fashioned," she said, "unless they have altered. Since I heard from them, I have been wondering what they would think about my going to theatres and so on—with you."

 

"What should they think?" Richard broke in. "There's nothing whatever in that. London isn't a provincial¹⁸ town, or even an American city."

 

"I shall tell them all about you," she went on, "and how kind you were to me when I scarcely knew you at all. You couldn't have been kinder if you'd been my only cousin."

 

"Say 'brother,'" he laughed awkwardly.

 

"No, really, I'm quite serious. I never thanked you properly. Perhaps I seemed to take it all as a matter of course."

 

He wished to heaven she would stop.

 

"I'm disgusted that you are going," he grumbled¹⁹, putting his hands behind his head,—"disgusted."

 

"In many ways I am sorry too. But don't you think I am doing the right thing?"

 

 

"How am I to tell?" he returned quickly. "All I know is that when you go I shall be left all alone by my little self. You must think of me sometimes in my lonely garret." His tone was light and whimsical, but she would not follow his lead.

 

"I shall often think of you," she said musingly²⁰, scanning intently the toe of her shoe.

 

It seemed to him that she desired to say something serious, to justify²¹ herself to him, but could not gather courage to frame the words.

 

When he got out of the house, his thoughts sprang forth²². It was a chilly²³ night; he turned up the collar of his overcoat, plunged²⁴ his hands deep into the pockets, and began to walk hurriedly, heedlessly, while examining his feelings with curious deliberation. In the first place, he was inexpressibly annoyed. "Annoyed,"—that was the right word. He could not say that he loved her deeply, or that there was a prospect²⁵ of his loving her deeply, but she had become a delightful²⁶ factor in his life, and he had grown used to counting upon her for society. Might he not, in time, conceivably have asked her to marry him? Might she not conceivably have consented? In certain directions she had disappointed him; beyond doubt her spiritual narrowness had checked the growth of a passion which he had sedulously²⁷ cherished and fostered in himself. Yet, in spite of that, her feminine grace, her feminine trustfulness, still exercised a strong and delicate charm. She was a woman and he was a man, and each was the only friend the other had; and now she was going away. The mere¹⁵ fact that she found a future with her uncles in America more attractive than the life she was then leading, cruelly wounded his self-love. He, then, was nothing to her, after all; he had made no impression; she could relinquish²⁸ him without regret! At that moment she seemed above and beyond him. He was the poor earthling; she the winged creature that soared in freedom now here, now there, giving her favours lightly, and as lightly withdrawing them.

 

One thing came out clear: he was an unlucky fellow.

 

He ran over in his mind the people who would remain to him in London when she had gone. Jenkins, Miss Roberts—Bah! how sickeningly commonplace were they! She was distinguished²⁹. She had an air, a je ne sais quoi, which he had never observed in a woman before. He recalled her gowns, her gestures, her turns of speech,—all the instinctive³⁰ touches by which she proved her superiority.

 

It occurred to him fancifully that there was a connection between her apparently³¹ sudden resolve to leave England, and their visit to the Crabtree and encounter with Miss Roberts. He tried to see in that incident a premonition of misfortune. What morbid³² fatuity³³!

 

Before he went to sleep that night he resolved that at their next meeting he would lead the conversation to a frank discussion of their relations and "have it out with her." But when he called at Carteret Street two days later, he found it quite impossible to do any such thing. She was light-hearted and gay, and evidently looked forward to the change of life with pleasure. She named the day of departure, and mentioned that she had arranged to take Lottie with her. She consulted him about a compromise, already effected, with her landlord as to the remainder of the tenancy, and said she had sold the furniture as it stood, for a very small sum, to a dealer³⁴. It hurt him to think that she had given him no opportunity of actively³⁵ assisting her in the hundred little matters of business involved in a change of hemisphere. What had become of her feminine reliance upon him?

 

He felt as if some object was rapidly approaching to collide with and crush him, and he was powerless to hinder it.

 

Three days, two days, one day more!

1 sitting-room   

n.（BrE）客厅，起居室

参考例句：

• The sitting-room is clean.起居室很清洁。
• Each villa has a separate sitting-room.每栋别墅都有一间独立的起居室。

2 vegetarian   

n.素食者；adj.素食的

参考例句：

• She got used gradually to the vegetarian diet.她逐渐习惯吃素食。
• I didn't realize you were a vegetarian.我不知道你是个素食者。

3 tranquil   

adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的

参考例句：

• The boy disturbed the tranquil surface of the pond with a stick. 那男孩用棍子打破了平静的池面。
• The tranquil beauty of the village scenery is unique. 这乡村景色的宁静是绝无仅有的。

4 immediate   

adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的

参考例句：

• His immediate neighbours felt it their duty to call.他的近邻认为他们有责任去拜访。
• We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。

5 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。

6 monotonously   

adv.单调地，无变化地

参考例句：

• The lecturer phrased monotonously. 这位讲师用词单调。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The maid, still in tears, sniffed monotonously. 侍女还在哭，发出单调的抽泣声。 来自辞典例句

7 resolutely   

adj.坚决地，果断地

参考例句：

• He resolutely adhered to what he had said at the meeting. 他坚持他在会上所说的话。
• He grumbles at his lot instead of resolutely facing his difficulties. 他不是果敢地去面对困难，而是抱怨自己运气不佳。

8 puerility   

n.幼稚，愚蠢；幼稚、愚蠢的行为、想法等

参考例句：

• There was always, in her conversation, the same odd mixture of audacity and puerility. 她的谈吐非常奇特，总是那么既大胆放肆同时又天真无邪。 来自辞典例句
• Puerility is kind of a desire-free state. 天真是一种没有欲望的状态。 来自互联网

9 tragically   

adv. 悲剧地，悲惨地

参考例句：

• Their daughter was tragically killed in a road accident. 他们的女儿不幸死于车祸。
• Her father died tragically in a car crash. 她父亲在一场车祸中惨死。

10 contemplate   

vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视

参考例句：

• The possibility of war is too horrifying to contemplate.战争的可能性太可怕了，真不堪细想。
• The consequences would be too ghastly to contemplate.后果不堪设想。

11 intimacy   

n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行

参考例句：

• His claims to an intimacy with the President are somewhat exaggerated.他声称自己与总统关系密切，这有点言过其实。
• I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.我希望能有个关于亲密的规则。

12 severed   

v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂

参考例句：

• The doctor said I'd severed a vessel in my leg. 医生说我割断了腿上的一根血管。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• We have severed diplomatic relations with that country. 我们与那个国家断绝了外交关系。 来自《简明英汉词典》

13 volition   

n.意志；决意

参考例句：

• We like to think that everything we do and everything we think is a product of our volition.我们常常认为我们所做和所想的一切都出自自己的意愿。
• Makin said Mr Coombes had gone to the police of his own volition.梅金说库姆斯先生是主动去投案的。

14 subsisting   

v.（靠很少的钱或食物）维持生活，生存下去( subsist的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Perfect God and perfect man, of a reasonable soul and human subsisting. 衪是完全的神又是完全的人，且有理性的灵魂和人类血肉之躯。 来自互联网
• The benevolence subsisting in her character draws her friends closer to her. 存在于她性格中的仁慈吸引她的朋友们接近她。 来自互联网

15 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

16 previously   

adv.以前，先前（地）

参考例句：

• The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
• Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿，解释原先发生了什么。

17 momentum   

n.动力，冲力，势头；动量

参考例句：

• We exploit the energy and momentum conservation laws in this way.我们就是这样利用能量和动量守恒定律的。
• The law of momentum conservation could supplant Newton's third law.动量守恒定律可以取代牛顿第三定律。

18 provincial   

adj.省的，地方的；n．外省人，乡下人

参考例句：

• City dwellers think country folk have provincial attitudes.城里人以为乡下人思想迂腐。
• Two leading cadres came down from the provincial capital yesterday.昨天从省里下来了两位领导干部。

19 grumbled   

抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 发牢骚； 咕哝； 发哼声

参考例句：

• He grumbled at the low pay offered to him. 他抱怨给他的工资低。
• The heat was sweltering, and the men grumbled fiercely over their work. 天热得让人发昏，水手们边干活边发着牢骚。

20 musingly   

adv.沉思地，冥想地

参考例句：

21 justify   

vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护

参考例句：

• He tried to justify his absence with lame excuses.他想用站不住脚的借口为自己的缺席辩解。
• Can you justify your rude behavior to me?你能向我证明你的粗野行为是有道理的吗？

22 forth   

adv.向前；向外，往外

参考例句：

• The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
• He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。

23 chilly   

adj.凉快的，寒冷的

参考例句：

• I feel chilly without a coat.我由于没有穿大衣而感到凉飕飕的。
• I grew chilly when the fire went out.炉火熄灭后，寒气逼人。

24 plunged   

v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降

参考例句：

• The train derailed and plunged into the river. 火车脱轨栽进了河里。
• She lost her balance and plunged 100 feet to her death. 她没有站稳，从100英尺的高处跌下摔死了。

25 prospect   

n.前景，前途；景色，视野

参考例句：

• This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
• The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。

26 delightful   

adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的

参考例句：

• We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
• Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。

27 sedulously   

ad.孜孜不倦地

参考例句：

• In this view they were sedulously abetted by their mother, aunts and other elderly female relatives. 在这方面，他们得到了他们的母亲，婶婶以及其它年长的女亲戚们孜孜不倦的怂恿。
• The clerk laid the two sheets of paper alongside and sedulously compared their contents. 那职员把两张纸并排放在前面，仔细比较。

28 relinquish   

v.放弃，撤回，让与，放手

参考例句：

• He was forced to relinquish control of the company.他被迫放弃公司的掌控权。
• They will never voluntarily relinquish their independence.他们绝对不会自动放弃独立。

29 distinguished   

adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的

参考例句：

• Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
• A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。

30 instinctive   

adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的

参考例句：

• He tried to conceal his instinctive revulsion at the idea.他试图饰盖自己对这一想法本能的厌恶。
• Animals have an instinctive fear of fire.动物本能地怕火。

31 apparently   

adv.显然地；表面上，似乎

参考例句：

• An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
• He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。

32 morbid   

adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的

参考例句：

• Some people have a morbid fascination with crime.一些人对犯罪有一种病态的痴迷。
• It's morbid to dwell on cemeteries and such like.不厌其烦地谈论墓地以及诸如此类的事是一种病态。

33 fatuity   

n.愚蠢，愚昧

参考例句：

• This is no doubt the first step out of confusion and fatuity.这无疑是摆脱混乱与愚味的第一步。
• Therefore,ignorance of history often leads to fatuity in politics.历史的无知，往往导致政治上的昏庸。

34 dealer   

n.商人，贩子

参考例句：

• The dealer spent hours bargaining for the painting.那个商人为购买那幅画花了几个小时讨价还价。
• The dealer reduced the price for cash down.这家商店对付现金的人减价优惠。

35 actively   

adv.积极地，勤奋地

参考例句：

• During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
• We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。