I would not hear of the arrangements being altered on my account, declaring that I should be glad of the opportunity to get some decent clothes.
"Then there will be an empty house," declared Rosa as we rose from the table.
There were two servants—an elderly woman, named Gretchen, and Marie, a younger one—in the room during the discussion; an important fact in the light of after events.
Some letters arrived for the Countess and Rosa; and when the former took hers away to the drawing-room, Rosa detained me in the library to speak about Nessa's conduct. "I can't understand it, Johann," she said irritably4.
"Of course it does. How are you going to help her if she keeps up this ridiculous attitude? I've no patience with her."
"Oh, I have. She knows about our engagement, of course, and being staunch to you looks on me as an enemy."
"But she knew you were coming and was most anxious to see you, and even promised to try and bring you to reason."
"Have you told her that I'm willing to help her; if I can, that is?"
"No, but I'll go and tell her now, and tell her also that if she doesn't wish to make mother furious, she'd better take things differently."
"Then you mustn't lose any time about it. Why not this afternoon? I can take Lottchen with me, and if you stop in, it could be managed easily. And when I come back the three of us can talk the thing over together."
I agreed to this like a shot, and we went into the drawing-room, where her mother was still reading her letters. Rosa glanced hurriedly at hers, locked them in a little bureau, and hurried off to tackle Nessa.
The Countess was standing7 by a very handsome cabinet, a drawer of which she had opened, and called me up to her. "Come here, Johann, I want you to see me put these letters away," she said to my astonishment8, and, drawing my attention to the neatness with which her letters and papers were arranged, asked me to remember precisely9 where she put those which had just arrived, and to make sure that the drawer was locked. "I want to have a witness," she added.
"It is really not of the least consequence," I assured her.
"But I'm sorely afraid it is, Johann, and I'm very troubled. That's one reason why I wished you to do that just now. I was always against her coming to the house, but Rosa would have her;" and then by degrees the reason came out.
She was afraid that von Erstein's story was true, that Nessa was really a spy. Some one had a key to her drawer in the cabinet; she had found her papers disturbed more than once; she kept money in the same place, but none of it had ever been taken, so that it could not be the work of a thief; she believed that Rosa's bureau had also been tampered11 with; and as the servants were above suspicion, there seemed to be only one conclusion.
The dear little lady was more grieved than angry about it. "I'm very sorry for Nessa really, Johann, but we can't have a spy in the house; yet I don't know how to get rid of her. But I won't open that drawer again until you are with me, and then we shall both know that I'm not making a mistake. Meanwhile, don't say anything to Rosa or any one."
We went upstairs together, and she was telling me the address of Hans' tailor and how I was to find it, when the old servant, Gretchen, passed us. Rosa was waiting dressed to go out, and told me she had spoken to Nessa, who would come down to me in the drawing-room after the rest had left the house.
"She baffles me, Johann. She just jumped at your offer to help her get away—after her conduct just now, too! But she seems to have taken a violent dislike to you, and even declared she wouldn't stop in the same house with you," she said in a tone of consternation12.
I passed it off with a smile and some banal13 remark about feminine inconsistency, and went downstairs to wait for Nessa. There was a lounge at the end of the drawing-room, a big comfortable sort of winter garden, with lots of big plants, and rugs and easy chairs and so on, and I sat down there to think over the position. I didn't smoke; a lucky fact in view of things.
It worried me excessively that Nessa should be regarded as a spy, and I was puzzling over the explanation of what the Countess had told me when I heard the front door shut. That meant they had left the house and that Nessa would soon be down.
But she did not come for some time, and presently I heard a movement in the big room, the faint click of a key being turned and then of a drawer being cautiously opened.
The conclusion was obvious. The spy was at work, believing that I had gone to the tailor's and meaning to fix the thing on Nessa, should her little operation be discovered. So I got up noiselessly and, from the safe shelter of some plants, did a little spy work on my own account.
It was one of the servants, of course; but I could not at first catch sight of her face. She was at Rosa's bureau, reading a letter, probably one of those which had come just before. That did not occupy more than a minute, and she next opened the Countess's cabinet drawer, picked out a couple of letters, glanced at them rapidly, just tossed them back carelessly, relocked the drawer, and turned to leave the room.
I saw her clearly then, for she went out by a door which stood at my end of the room, near the big stove in the corner. It was Gretchen.
It would never do to have a possible eavesdropper14 when Nessa and I were together, and, being unwilling15 to let the woman know she had been seen, I crept over to the door we all used, opened it noisily, shut it with a bang, and began to whistle.
This had immediate16 results. I heard the door of the stove opened at the back, some logs were thrown in, and directly afterwards Gretchen came out, with an apology for disturbing me.
"It's my work to see to the stoves, sir," she explained with a smirk17. "And the door to our quarters is locked."
"It gets cold in the evenings, sir, and my orders are to see that the stoves are kept going well." She was a little uneasy; and after she had been gone a while, I had a look at the hiding-place.
It was a passage with cupboards on each side, and as the door at the other end was fastened, she had been compelled to return through the room when she had heard me. There was a bolt on my side of that door, and I shot it to prevent her coming back to listen while Nessa and I were together.
I was only a minute or two in the place, but when I left it I found Nessa already in the drawing-room. She had caught me apparently19 in the act of playing the spy, and her look left no doubt about her opinion.
I laughed. I really could not help it. It was such a preposterous20 misreading of the situation that the ludicrous absurdity21 of it appealed to me. Of course my laughter added to her indignation and also to the awkwardness of the meeting.
"You are practising your new profession, I see. It appears to rouse your sense of humour," she said icily.
"It would probably rouse yours also if you understood everything," I retorted, not at all relishing22 her prompt condemnation23.
"I don't see anything particularly humorous in your sneaking24 into the house of my friends and spying in its holes and corners."
"No doubt; but I have no curiosity on such a subject. Rosa has induced me to see you, so I——" She got so far in the same level, cutting tone, evidently putting a great restraint upon herself; but she could not keep it up. Her eyes blazed suddenly, her cheeks flushed, and raising her voice in her indignation she exclaimed: "How dare you come——"
I had to stop that, however, as the old eavesdropper might have followed her to the room and be on keyhole drill. "I am very glad to meet you, Miss Caldicott," I broke in in German loudly enough to be heard outside, and added in a low tone in English: "It is not safe to speak so loudly as you did. Come away from the door;" and I led the way into the conservatory27.
She stared at me as if I were a dangerous lunatic, but after a moment's pause followed me. "Say what you like now, but lower your voice," I said, lowering my own tone.
She hesitated, but acted on the warning and returned to her former icy tone. "What I want to know is why you dare to come here in a false name, as the sham28 lover of my friend, and humiliate29 me in this way. If you must be a spy, haven't you enough decency30 to avoid blackening me by making me a partner in such treacherous31 baseness?"
I met her angry look for a second, realizing that this was the reason for her conduct to me; and it was all I could do to prevent myself smiling at her injustice32, although it riled me considerably33.
"Rather a rough judgment," I replied with a shrug, "and your manner doesn't smooth it out much; but as no one else can hear you now, I don't mind so much. I can explain——"
"Explain!" she broke in scornfully.
"Yes, explain. That's what I said. If you understood——"
"I do understand as it is—too well," she fired in again.
I really could not help smiling again, both at her words and flashing anger. "I must either smile or lose my temper as you have done; and it's better to smile."
This was like petrol on the fire. "Just what I should expect of you—to see nothing but a joke in my indignation."
"I'm not laughing at your indignation, but at your mistake. You always have been ready to make the worst of anything I do."
"What have you ever done that was worth doing?"
"Nothing much, I admit."
"If you were like other men you'd be doing what they are doing—fighting."
"Perhaps I should; but we can't all be soldiers."
Her lip curled. "Men can; but even you needn't have sunk so low as to be a spy!"
"Go on. I'm not ashamed of what I'm doing; and if you'll let me explain——"
She stopped me again with an impatient gesture. "I need no explanation, thank you. Aren't you here as Johann Lassen?"
"Yes."
"Pretending to be engaged to Rosa von Rebling?"
"Yes."
"And pretending to have lost your memory?"
"Yes."
"Haven't you both spoken and acted lies to gain admission to this house?"
"I had to, of course."
"You convict yourself out of your own mouth, then?"
"Apparently."
"Aren't you trying to get employed in the Secret Service here?"
"Looks black, doesn't it?"
"Looks!" and she drew a long deep breath and repeated the word. "But you don't imagine for one instant that I will be a party to it!"
"You are already, for that matter."
"You shall leave this house at once and never set foot in it again, and I shall find the means to let Rosa know the disgraceful trick you have played."
"And if I refuse?"
"I'll expose you as surely as my name is Nessa Caldicott."
"You know what the result would be to me?"
"I neither know nor care."
"Then I'll tell you. I should certainly be imprisoned34 and most probably shot."
She wavered somewhat at that. "It is easy for you to avoid it by doing what I say—leave the house."
"That's out of the question."
"Do you expect me to allow you to go on imposing35 on the girl who has been my friend at a time when I was absolutely helpless? Wouldn't you be ashamed of me if I were to consent to such treachery? Can't you see what a vile36 degradation37 it would be, and that I should hate myself as well as you if I consented?"
"No. Yes. Yes. I wish you'd ask one question at a time."
"No. But it wasn't flippancy at all. I was answering your questions in order. You appear to think that I like being compelled to deceive Miss von Rebling."
"How can you talk about having been compelled to do it?"
"Because it happens to be the truth."
"Your version of the truth, you mean?"
"Exactly. My version of the truth, although you won't believe it. I was forced into the thing against my will by a series of coincidences which I found it impossible to avoid; and, as a matter of fact, I am not harming Miss von Rebling in the least."
"Haven't you led her to believe you may break off the engagement?"
"I've been considering it."
"Don't you call that harming her?"
"No."
"How can you say that? What will happen when the real man arrives?"
"Not even then."
She gestured incredulously. "It's impossible," she cried. "In any case I insist upon her being told."
I stopped to think a bit. I knew Nessa so well that I could quite understand her mood. Her first fierce rush of anger had spent itself, checked, I was sure, by my statement of the consequences to me if the truth were told. She had not a suspicion of the reason for my being in Berlin, evidently believing that I had come as a spy, and knew even better than I what my end would be if I were denounced; and her words had cut me too deeply to let me tell her the truth then—that I had only come on her account.
At the same time I could quite appreciate how she would shrink from being made a partner, as she had said, and her impatience39 for me to leave the house. It was an awkward corner, but I thought I could see a way round it.
"I'll do what you suggest," I said at length.
"Go away?"
"No. Tell Miss von Rebling."
This alarmed her at once. "But you? What you said about the risk?" she protested.
"Oh, never mind about me. You said you couldn't endure it; and, of course, nothing matters compared with that. I should have taken care to let her know everything as soon as I'd done what I came to do."
"What is that?"
"Your mother is very anxious about you, and when she knew I was coming here, naturally wanted me to find out things."
"But they've had my letters, surely?"
"Not a line since some time after Christmas."
"Do you mean that, Jack40? Oh, poor mother! I've written regularly every week. When Julia Wassermann died, her father, who hates the English and hated me because I'm English, turned me out of the house. I should have gone to one of these dreadful concentration camps, if it hadn't been for Rosa. That's why I can't bear the thought of deceiving her; but—I—I don't want to get you into any trouble. We—we can't tell her. We—we mustn't. You can go away, can't you?" and she bit her lip in desperate perplexity and distress2.
"I'm going to tell her, Nessa," I said.
"But I don't wish it, Jack. I really don't. I didn't mean all the horrid41 things I said just now; I—I'm sorry. I've been just distracted."
"Don't worry. Nothing very terrible is likely to come to me; and I quite agree that she ought to know the truth."
She looked at me wonderingly. "How different you are, Jack. What has changed you so? You're so quiet and so—so firm. You don't look the same. Not a bit like you used to be in any way, manner, bearing, everything. I saw it the moment I came into the room."
"You didn't show it. You went for me in much the same old style, you know," I said with a smile. "You always did think me a rotter."
"Do you mean that you've risked coming here merely because of—of what mother told you about me."
"Not very likely, is it?"
"It wouldn't have been at one time, but—— You mustn't say anything to Rosa. You mustn't, really. You won't, Jack, will you?" and she laid her hand on my arm appealingly.
"I must, Nessa."
"No, no. I won't be the cause——"
And then, just as she was clinging to my arm and urging me, she broke away with a sudden cry of consternation.
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1
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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irritably
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| ad.易生气地 | |
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shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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10
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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tampered
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| v.窜改( tamper的过去式 )；篡改；（用不正当手段）影响；瞎摆弄 | |
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consternation
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| n.大为吃惊，惊骇 | |
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banal
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| adj.陈腐的，平庸的 | |
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eavesdropper
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| 偷听者 | |
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unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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smirk
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| n.得意地笑；v.傻笑；假笑着说 | |
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chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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relishing
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| v.欣赏( relish的现在分词 )；从…获得乐趣；渴望 | |
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condemnation
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| n.谴责; 定罪 | |
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sneaking
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| a.秘密的，不公开的 | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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27
conservatory
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| n.温室，音乐学院；adj.保存性的，有保存力的 | |
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28
sham
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| n./adj.假冒(的)，虚伪(的) | |
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humiliate
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| v.使羞辱，使丢脸[同]disgrace | |
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30
decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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31
treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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flippancy
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| n.轻率；浮躁；无礼的行动 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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40
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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41
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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