“I make it a point never to be surprised,” observed Holmes, as he peered through the glass, “but this beats me. I didn’t know there was an island of this nature in these latitudes6. Blackstone, go below and pipe Captain Cook on deck. Perhaps he knows what island that is.”
“You’ll have to excuse me, Captain Holmes,” replied the Judge. “I didn’t ship on this voyage as a cabin-boy or a messenger-boy. Therefore I—”
“Bonaparte, put the Judge in irons,” interrupted Holmes, sternly. “I expect to be obeyed, Judge Blackstone, whether you shipped as a Lord Chief-Justice or a state-room steward8. When I issue an order it must be obeyed. Step lively there, Bonaparte. Get his honor ironed and summon your marines. We may have work to do before night. Hamlet, pipe Captain Cook on deck.”
“That’s the way to obey orders,” said Holmes, with a scornful glance at Blackstone.
“I was only jesting, Captain,” said the latter, paling somewhat.
“That’s all right,” said Holmes, taking up his glass again. “So was I when I ordered you in irons, and in order that you may appreciate the full force of the joke I repeat it. Bonaparte, do your duty.”
In an instant the order was obeyed, and the unhappy Judge shortly found himself manacled and alone in the forecastle. Meanwhile Captain Cook, in response to the commander’s order, repaired to the deck and scanned the distant coast.
“I can’t place it,” he said. “It can’t be Monte Cristo, can it?”
“No, it can’t,” said the Count, who stood hard by. “My island was in the Mediterranean10, and even if it dragged anchor it couldn’t have got out through the Strait of Gibraltar.”
“Perhaps it’s Robinson Crusoe’s island,” suggested Doctor Johnson.
“Not it,” observed De Foe11. “If it is, the rest of you will please keep off. It’s mine, and I may want to use it again. I’ve been having a number of interviews with Crusoe latterly, and he’s given me a lot of new points, which I intend incorporating in a sequel for the Cimmerian Magazine.”
“Well, in the name of Atlas12, what island is it, then?” roared Holmes, angrily. “What is the matter with all you learned lubbers that I have brought along on this trip? Do you suppose I’ve brought you to whistle up favorable winds? Not by the beard of the Prophet! I brought you to give me information, and now when I ask for the name of a simple little island like that in plain sight there’s not one of you able so much as to guess at it reasonably. The next man I ask for information goes into irons with Judge Blackstone if he doesn’t answer me instantly with the information I want. Munchausen, what island is that?”
“Ahem! that?” replied Munchausen, trembling, as he reflected upon the Captain’s threat. “What? Nobody knows what island that is? Why, you surprise me—”
“See here, Baron13,” retorted Holmes, menacingly, “I ask you a plain question, and I want a plain answer, with no evasions14 to gain time. Now it’s irons or an answer. What island is that?”
“It’s an island that doesn’t appear on any chart, Captain,” Munchausen responded instantly, pulling himself together for a mighty15 effort, “and it has never been given a name; but as you insist upon having one, we’ll call it Holmes Island, in your honor. It is not stationary16. It is a floating island of lava17 formation, and is a menace to every craft that goes to sea. I spent a year of my life upon it once, and it is more barren than the desert of Sahara, because you cannot raise even sand upon it, and it is devoid18 of water of any sort, salt or fresh.”
“What did you live on during that year?” asked Holmes, eying him narrowly.
“Canned food from wrecks20,” replied the Baron, feeling much easier now that he had got a fair start—“canned food from wrecks, commander. There is a magnetic property in the upper stratum21 of this piece of derelict real estate, sir, which attracts to it every bit of canned substance that is lost overboard in all parts of the world. A ship is wrecked22, say, in the Pacific Ocean, and ultimately all the loose metal upon her will succumb23 to the irresistible24 attraction of this magnetic upper stratum, and will find its way to its shores. So in any other part of the earth. Everything metallic25 turns up here sooner or later; and when you consider that thousands of vessels27 go down every year, vessels which are provisioned with tinned foods only, you will begin to comprehend how many millions of pounds of preserved salmon28, sardines29, pâté de foie gras, peaches, and so on, can be found strewn along its coast.”
“Munchausen,” said Holmes, smiling, “by the blush upon your cheek, coupled with an occasional uneasy glance of the eye, I know that for once you are standing30 upon the, to you, unfamiliar31 ground of truth, and I admire you for it. There is nothing to be ashamed of in telling the truth occasionally. You are a man after my own heart. Come below and have a cocktail32. Captain Cook, take command of the Gehenna during my absence; head her straight for Holmes Island, and when you discover anything new let me know. Bonaparte, in honor of Munchausen’s remarkable33 genius I proclaim general amnesty to our prisoners, and you may release Blackstone from his dilemma34; and if you have any tin soldiers among your marines, see that they are lashed35 to the rigging. I don’t want this electric island of the Baron’s to get a grip upon my military force at this juncture36.”
With this Holmes, followed by Munchausen, went below, and the two worthies37 were soon deep in the mysteries of a phantom38 cocktail, while Doctor Johnson and De Foe gazed mournfully out over the ocean at the floating island.
“De Foe,” said Johnson, “that ought to be a lesson to you. This realism that you tie up to is all right when you are alone with your conscience; but when there are great things afoot, an imagination and a broad view as to the limitations of truth aren’t at all bad. You or I might now be drinking that cocktail with Holmes if we’d only risen to the opportunity the way Munchausen did.”
“That is true,” said De Foe, sadly. “But I didn’t suppose he wanted that kind of information. I could have spun39 a better yarn40 than that of Munchausen’s with my eyes shut. I supposed he wanted truth, and I gave it.”
“I’d like to know what has become of the House-boat,” said Raleigh, anxiously gazing through the glass at the island. “I can see old Henry Morgan sitting down there on the rocks with his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, and Kidd and Abeuchapeta are standing back of him, yelling like mad, but there isn’t a boat in sight.”
“Who is that man, off to the right, dancing a fandango?” asked Johnson.
“It looks like Conrad, but I can’t tell. He appears to have gone crazy. He’s got that wild look on his face which betokens41 insanity42. We’ll have to be careful in our parleyings with these people,” said Raleigh.
“Anything new?” asked Holmes, returning to the deck, smacking43 his lips in enjoyment44 of the cocktail.
“No—except that we are almost within hailing distance,” said Cook.
“Then give orders to cast anchor,” observed Holmes. “Bonaparte, take a crew of picked men ashore45 and bring those pirates aboard. Take the three musketeers with you, and don’t let Kidd or Morgan give you any back talk. If they try any funny business, exorcise them.”
“Aye, aye, sir,” replied Bonaparte, and in a moment a boat had been lowered and a sturdy crew of sailors were pulling for the shore. As they came within ten feet of it the pirates made a mad dash down the rough, rocky hillside and clamored to be saved.
“What’s happened to you?” cried Bonaparte, ordering the sailors to back water, lest the pirates should too hastily board the boat and swamp her.
“We are marooned,” replied Kidd, “and on an island of a volcanic46 nature. There isn’t a square inch of it that isn’t heated up to 125 degrees, and seventeen of us have already evaporated. Conrad has lost his reason; Abeuchapeta has become so tenuous47 that a child can see through him. As for myself, I am growing iridescent48 with anxiety, and unless I get off this infernal furnace I’ll disappear like a soap-bubble. For Heaven’s sake, then, General, take us off, on your own terms. We’ll accept anything.”
As if in confirmation49 of Kidd’s words, six of the pirate crew collapsed50 and disappeared into thin air, and a glance at Abeuchapeta was proof enough of his condition. He had become as clear as crystal, and had it not been for his rugged51 outlines he would hardly have been visible even to his fellow-spirits. As for Kidd, he had taken on the aspect of a rainbow, and it was patent that his fears for himself were all too well founded.
Bonaparte embarked53 the leaders of the band first, returning subsequently for the others, and repaired with them at once to the Gehenna, where they were ushered54 into the presence of Sherlock Holmes. The first question he asked was as to the whereabouts of the House-boat.
“That we do not know,” replied Kidd, mournfully, gazing downward at the wreck19 of his former self. “We came ashore, sir, early yesterday morning, in search of food. It appears that when—acting in a wholly inexcusable fashion, and influenced, I confess it, by motives55 of revenge—I made off with your club-house, I neglected to ascertain56 if it were well stocked with provisions, a fatal error; for when we endeavored to get supper we discovered that the larder57 contained but half a bottle of farcie olives, two salted almonds, and a soda58 cracker—not a luxurious59 feast for sixty-nine pirates and a hundred and eighty-three women to sit down to.”
“That’s all nonsense,” said Demosthenes. “The House Committee had provided enough supper for six hundred people, in anticipation60 of the appetite of the members on their return from the fight.”
“Of course they did,” said Confucius; “and it was a good one, too—salads, salmon glacé, lobsters—every blessed thing a man can’t get at home we had; and what is more, they’d been delivered on board. I saw to that before I went up the river.”
“Then,” moaned Kidd, “it is as I suspected. We were the victims of base treachery on the part of those women.”
“Treachery? Well, I like that. Call it reciprocity,” said Hamlet, dryly.
“We were informed by the ladies that there was nothing for supper save the items I have already referred to,” said Kidd. “I see it all now. We had tried to make them comfortable, and I put myself to some considerable personal inconvenience to make them easy in their minds, but they were ungrateful.”
“Whatever induced you to take ‘em along with you?” asked Socrates.
“We didn’t want them,” said Kidd. “We didn’t know they were on board until it was too late to turn back. They’d broken in, and were having the club all to themselves in your absence.”
“It served you good and right,” said Socrates, with a laugh. “Next time you try to take things that don’t belong to you, maybe you’ll be a trifle more careful as to whose property you confiscate61.”
“But the House-boat—you haven’t told us how you lost her,” put in Raleigh, impatiently.
“Well, it was this way,” said Kidd. “When, in response to our polite request for supper, the ladies said there was nothing to eat on board, something had to be done, for we were all as hungry as bears, and we decided62 to go ashore at the first port and provision. Unfortunately the crew got restive63, and when this floating frying-pan loomed64 into view, to keep them good-natured we decided to land and see if we could beg, borrow, or steal some supplies. We had to. Observations taken with the sextant showed that there was no port within five hundred miles; the island looked as if it might be inhabited at least by goats, and ashore we went, every man of us, leaving the House-boat safely anchored in the harbor. At first we didn’t mind the heat, and we hunted and hunted and hunted; but after three or four hours I began to notice that three of my sailors were shrivelling up, and Conrad began to act as if he were daft. Hawkins burst right before my eyes. Then Abeuchapeta got prismatic around the eyes and began to fade, and I noticed a slight iridescence65 about myself; and as for Morgan, he had the misfortune to lie down to take a nap in the sun, and when he waked up, his whole right side had evaporated. Then we saw what the trouble was. We’d struck this lava island, and were gradually succumbing66 to its intense heat. We rushed madly back to the harbor to embark52; and our ship, gentlemen, and your House-boat, was slowly but surely disappearing over the horizon, and flying from the flag-staff at the fore7 were signals of farewell, with an unfeeling P.S. below to this effect: ‘Don’t wait up for us. We may not be back until late.’”
There was a pause, during which Socrates laughed quietly to himself, while Abeuchapeta and the one-sided Morgan wept silently.
“That, gentlemen of the Associated Shades, is all I know of the whereabouts of the House-boat,” continued Captain Kidd. “I have no doubt that the ladies practised a deception67, to our discomfiture68, and I must say that I think it was exceedingly clever—granting that it was desirable to be rid of us, which I don’t, for we meant well by them, and they would have enjoyed themselves.”
“They got her out of the harbor all right,” said Kidd. “And I judged from the figure at the helm that Mrs. Noah had taken charge. What kind of a seaman71 she is I don’t know.”
“Almighty bad,” ejaculated Shem, turning pale. “It was she who ran us ashore on Ararat.”
“What we wanted!” cried Shem. “Well, I guess not. You don’t want your yacht stranded73 on a mountain-top, do you? She was a dead loss there, whereas if mother hadn’t been in such a hurry to get ashore, we could have waited a month and landed on the seaboard.”
“You might have turned her into a summer hotel,” suggested Munchausen.
“Well, we must up anchor and away,” said Holmes. “Our pursuit has merely begun, apparently74. We must overtake this vessel26, and the question to be answered is—where?”
“That’s easy,” said Artemus Ward. “From what Shem says, I think we’d better look for her in the Himalayas.”
“And, meanwhile, what shall be done with Kidd?” asked Holmes.
“He ought to be expelled from the club,” said Johnson.
“We can’t expel him, because he’s not a member,” replied Raleigh.
“Then elect him,” suggested Ward.
“So that we can expel him,” said Ward.
And while Boswell’s hero was trying to get the value of this notion through his head, the others repaired to the deck, and the Gehenna was soon under way once more. Meanwhile Captain Kidd and his fellows were put in irons and stowed away in the forecastle, alongside of the water-cask in which Shylock lay in hiding.
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1
emblem
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| n.象征，标志；徽章 | |
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piracy
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| n.海盗行为，剽窃，著作权侵害 | |
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ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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latitudes
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| 纬度 | |
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fore
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| adv.在前面；adj.先前的；在前部的；n.前部 | |
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steward
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| n.乘务员，服务员；看管人；膳食管理员 | |
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alacrity
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| n.敏捷，轻快，乐意 | |
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Mediterranean
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| adj.地中海的；地中海沿岸的 | |
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foe
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| n.敌人，仇敌 | |
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atlas
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| n.地图册，图表集 | |
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baron
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| n.男爵；(商业界等)巨头，大王 | |
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evasions
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| 逃避( evasion的名词复数 )； 回避； 遁辞； 借口 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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stationary
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| adj.固定的，静止不动的 | |
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lava
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| n.熔岩，火山岩 | |
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devoid
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| adj.全无的，缺乏的 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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wrecks
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| n.沉船( wreck的名词复数 )；（事故中）遭严重毁坏的汽车（或飞机等）；（身体或精神上）受到严重损伤的人；状况非常糟糕的车辆（或建筑物等）v.毁坏[毁灭]某物( wreck的第三人称单数 )；使（船舶）失事，使遇难，使下沉 | |
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stratum
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| n.地层，社会阶层 | |
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wrecked
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| adj.失事的，遇难的 | |
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succumb
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| v.屈服，屈从；死 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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metallic
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| adj.金属的；金属制的；含金属的；产金属的；像金属的 | |
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vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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vessels
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| n.血管( vessel的名词复数 )；船；容器；（具有特殊品质或接受特殊品质的）人 | |
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salmon
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| n.鲑，大马哈鱼，橙红色的 | |
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sardines
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| n. 沙丁鱼 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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cocktail
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| n.鸡尾酒；餐前开胃小吃；混合物 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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dilemma
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| n.困境，进退两难的局面 | |
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lashed
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| adj.具睫毛的v.鞭打( lash的过去式和过去分词 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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worthies
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| 应得某事物( worthy的名词复数 )； 值得做某事； 可尊敬的； 有（某人或事物）的典型特征 | |
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phantom
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| n.幻影，虚位，幽灵；adj.错觉的，幻影的，幽灵的 | |
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spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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yarn
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| n.纱，纱线，纺线；奇闻漫谈，旅行轶事 | |
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betokens
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| v.预示，表示( betoken的第三人称单数 ) | |
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insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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smacking
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| 活泼的，发出响声的，精力充沛的 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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ashore
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| adv.在(向)岸上，上岸 | |
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volcanic
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| adj.火山的；象火山的；由火山引起的 | |
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tenuous
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| adj.细薄的，稀薄的，空洞的 | |
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iridescent
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| adj.彩虹色的，闪色的 | |
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confirmation
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| n.证实，确认，批准 | |
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collapsed
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| adj.倒塌的 | |
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rugged
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| adj.高低不平的，粗糙的，粗壮的，强健的 | |
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52
embark
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| vi.乘船，着手，从事，上飞机 | |
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embarked
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| 乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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56
ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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larder
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| n.食物贮藏室，食品橱 | |
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soda
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| n.苏打水；汽水 | |
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luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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confiscate
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| v.没收(私人财产)，把…充公 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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restive
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| adj.不安宁的，不安静的 | |
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loomed
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| v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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iridescence
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| n.彩虹色；放光彩；晕色；晕彩 | |
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succumbing
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的现在分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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67
deception
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| n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计 | |
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68
discomfiture
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| n.崩溃；大败；挫败；困惑 | |
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peril
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| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
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70
navigate
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| v.航行，飞行；导航，领航 | |
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71
seaman
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| n.海员，水手，水兵 | |
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72
queried
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| v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 )；询问 | |
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73
stranded
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| a.搁浅的，进退两难的 | |
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74
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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75
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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