SHE LOOKS BACK

      THE pale bubbles

     The lovely pale-gold bubbles of the globe-flowers

     In a great swarm¹ clotted² and single

     Went rolling in the dusk towards the river

     To where the sunset hung its wan³ gold cloths;

     And you stood alone, watching them go,

     And that mother-love like a demon⁴ drew you

        from me

     Towards England.

 

     Along the road, after nightfall,

     Along the glamorous⁵ birch-tree avenue

     Across the river levels

     We went in silence, and you staring to England.

 

     So then there shone within the jungle darkness

     Of the long, lush under-grass, a glow-worm's

        sudden

     Green lantern of pure light, a little, intense, fusing

        triumph,

     White and haloed with fire-mist, down in the

        tangled⁶ darkness.

 

     Then you put your hand in mine again, kissed me,

        and we struggled to be together.

     And the little electric flashes went with us, in the

        grass,

     Tiny lighthouses, little souls of lanterns, courage

        burst into an explosion of green light

     Everywhere down in the grass, where darkness was

        ravelled in darkness.

 

     Still, the kiss was a touch of bitterness on my mouth

     Like salt, burning in.

     And my hand withered⁷ in your hand.

     For you were straining with a wild heart, back,

        back again,

     Back to those children you had left behind, to all

        the æons of the past.

     And I was here in the under-dusk of the Isar.

 

     At home, we leaned in the bedroom window

     Of the old Bavarian Gasthaus,

     And the frogs in the pool beyond thrilled with

        exuberance⁸,

     Like a boiling pot the pond crackled with happiness,

     Like a rattle⁹ a child spins round for joy, the night

        rattled¹⁰

     With the extravagance of the frogs,

     And you leaned your cheek on mine,

     And I suffered it, wanting to sympathise.

 

     At last, as you stood, your white gown falling from

        your breasts,

     You looked into my eyes, and said: "But this is

        joy!"

     I acquiesced¹¹ again.

     But the shadow of lying was in your eyes,

     The mother in you, fierce as a murderess, glaring

        to England,

     Yearning towards England, towards your young

        children,

     Insisting upon your motherhood, devastating¹².

 

     Still, the joy was there also, you spoke¹³ truly,

     The joy was not to be driven off so easily;

     Stronger than fear or destructive mother-love, it

        stood flickering¹⁴;

     The frogs helped also, whirring away.

     Yet how I have learned to know that look in your

        eyes

     Of horrid¹⁵ sorrow!

     How I know that glitter of salt, dry, sterile¹⁶,

        sharp, corrosive¹⁷ salt!

     Not tears, but white sharp brine

     Making hideous¹⁸ your eyes.

 

     I have seen it, felt it in my mouth, my throat, my

        chest, my belly¹⁹,

     Burning of powerful salt, burning, eating through

        my defenceless nakedness.

     I have been thrust into white, sharp crystals,

     Writhing, twisting, superpenetrated.

 

     Ah, Lot's Wife, Lot's Wife!

     The pillar of salt, the whirling, horrible column

        of salt, like a waterspout

     That has enveloped²⁰ me!

     Snow of salt, white, burning, eating salt

     In which I have writhed²¹.

 

     Lot's Wife!—Not Wife, but Mother.

     I have learned to curse your motherhood,

     You pillar of salt accursed.

     I have cursed motherhood because of you,

     Accursed, base motherhood!

 

     I long for the time to come, when the curse against

        you will have gone out of my heart.

     But it has not gone yet.

     Nevertheless, once, the frogs, the globe-flowers of

        Bavaria, the glow-worms

     Gave me sweet lymph against the salt-burns,

     There is a kindness in the very rain.

 

     Therefore, even in the hour of my deepest, pas-

        sionate malediction²²

     I try to remember it is also well between us.

     That you are with me in the end.

     That you never look quite back; nine-tenths, ah,

        more

     You look round over your shoulder;

     But never quite back.

 

     Nevertheless the curse against you is still in my

        heart

     Like a deep, deep burn.

     The curse against all mothers.

     All mothers who fortify²³ themselves in motherhood,

        devastating the vision.

     They are accursed, and the curse is not taken off

     It burns within me like a deep, old burn,

     And oh, I wish it was better.

 

     BEUERBERG

 该作者的其它作品
《恋爱中的女人 Women in Love》

《儿子与情人 Sons and Lovers》
《The White Peacock白孔雀》

 

1 swarm   

n.(昆虫)等一大群；vi.成群飞舞；蜂拥而入

参考例句：

• There is a swarm of bees in the tree.这树上有一窝蜜蜂。
• A swarm of ants are moving busily.一群蚂蚁正在忙碌地搬家。

2 clotted   

adj.凝结的v.凝固( clot的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• scones and jam with clotted cream 夹有凝脂奶油和果酱的烤饼
• Perspiration clotted his hair. 汗水使他的头发粘在一起。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

3 wan   

(wide area network)广域网

参考例句：

• The shared connection can be an Ethernet,wireless LAN,or wireless WAN connection.提供共享的网络连接可以是以太网、无线局域网或无线广域网。

4 demon   

n.魔鬼，恶魔

参考例句：

• The demon of greed ruined the miser's happiness.贪得无厌的恶习毁掉了那个守财奴的幸福。
• He has been possessed by the demon of disease for years.他多年来病魔缠身。

5 glamorous   

adj.富有魅力的；美丽动人的；令人向往的

参考例句：

• The south coast is less glamorous but full of clean and attractive hotels.南海岸魅力稍逊，但却有很多干净漂亮的宾馆。
• It is hard work and not a glamorous job as portrayed by the media.这是份苦差，并非像媒体描绘的那般令人向往。

6 tangled   

adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• Your hair's so tangled that I can't comb it. 你的头发太乱了，我梳不动。
• A movement caught his eye in the tangled undergrowth. 乱灌木丛里的晃动引起了他的注意。

7 withered   

adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式

参考例句：

• The grass had withered in the warm sun. 这些草在温暖的阳光下枯死了。
• The leaves of this tree have become dry and withered. 这棵树下的叶子干枯了。

8 exuberance   

n.丰富；繁荣

参考例句：

• Her burst of exuberance and her brightness overwhelmed me.她勃发的热情和阳光的性格征服了我。
• The sheer exuberance of the sculpture was exhilarating.那尊雕塑表现出的勃勃生机让人振奋。

9 rattle   

v.飞奔，碰响；激怒；n.碰撞声；拨浪鼓

参考例句：

• The baby only shook the rattle and laughed and crowed.孩子只是摇着拨浪鼓，笑着叫着。
• She could hear the rattle of the teacups.她听见茶具叮当响。

10 rattled   

慌乱的，恼火的

参考例句：

• The truck jolted and rattled over the rough ground. 卡车嘎吱嘎吱地在凹凸不平的地面上颠簸而行。
• Every time a bus went past, the windows rattled. 每逢公共汽车经过这里，窗户都格格作响。

11 acquiesced   

v.默认，默许( acquiesce的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Senior government figures must have acquiesced in the cover-up. 政府高级官员必然已经默许掩盖真相。
• After a lot of persuasion,he finally acquiesced. 经过多次劝说，他最终默许了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 devastating   

adj.毁灭性的，令人震惊的，强有力的

参考例句：

• It is the most devastating storm in 20 years.这是20年来破坏性最大的风暴。
• Affairs do have a devastating effect on marriages.婚外情确实会对婚姻造成毁灭性的影响。

13 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

14 flickering   

adj.闪烁的，摇曳的，一闪一闪的

参考例句：

• The crisp autumn wind is flickering away. 清爽的秋风正在吹拂。
• The lights keep flickering. 灯光忽明忽暗。

15 horrid   

adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的

参考例句：

• I'm not going to the horrid dinner party.我不打算去参加这次讨厌的宴会。
• The medicine is horrid and she couldn't get it down.这种药很难吃，她咽不下去。

16 sterile   

adj.不毛的，不孕的，无菌的，枯燥的，贫瘠的

参考例句：

• This top fits over the bottle and keeps the teat sterile.这个盖子严实地盖在奶瓶上，保持奶嘴无菌。
• The farmers turned the sterile land into high fields.农民们把不毛之地变成了高产田。

17 corrosive   

adj.腐蚀性的；有害的；恶毒的

参考例句：

• Many highly corrosive substances are used in the nuclear industry.核工业使用许多腐蚀性很强的物质。
• Many highly corrosive substances are used in the nuclear industry.核工业使用许多腐蚀性很强的物质。

18 hideous   

adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的

参考例句：

• The whole experience had been like some hideous nightmare.整个经历就像一场可怕的噩梦。
• They're not like dogs,they're hideous brutes.它们不像狗，是丑陋的畜牲。

19 belly   

n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛

参考例句：

• The boss has a large belly.老板大腹便便。
• His eyes are bigger than his belly.他眼馋肚饱。

20 enveloped   

v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She was enveloped in a huge white towel. 她裹在一条白色大毛巾里。
• Smoke from the burning house enveloped the whole street. 燃烧着的房子冒出的浓烟笼罩了整条街。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 writhed   

（因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He writhed at the memory, revolted with himself for that temporary weakness. 他一想起来就痛悔不已，只恨自己当一时糊涂。
• The insect, writhed, and lay prostrate again. 昆虫折腾了几下，重又直挺挺地倒了下去。

22 malediction   

n.诅咒

参考例句：

• He was answered with a torrent of malediction.他得到的回答是滔滔不绝的诅咒。
• Shakespeare's remains were guarded by a malediction.莎士比亚的遗骸被诅咒给守护著。

23 fortify   

v.强化防御，为…设防；加强，强化

参考例句：

• This country will fortify the coastal areas.该国将加强沿海地区的防御。
• This treaty forbade the United States to fortify the canal.此条约禁止美国对运河设防。