It was true that when after their return from Ricks they tried to lighten the ship, the great embarrassment20 was still immutably21 there, the odiousness22 of sacrificing the exquisite24 things one wouldn't take to the exquisite things one would. This immediately made the things one wouldn't take the very things one ought to, and, as Mrs. Gereth said, condemned25 one, in the whole business, to an eternal vicious circle. In such a circle, for days, she had been tormentedly26 moving, prowling up and down, comparing incomparables. It was for that one had to cling to them and their faces of supplication27. Fleda herself could judge of these faces, so conscious of their race and their danger, and she had little enough to say when her companion asked her if the whole place, perversely28 fair on October afternoons, looked like a place to give up. It looked, to begin with, through some effect of season and light, larger than ever, immense, and it was filled with the hush29 of sorrow, which in turn was all charged with memories. Everything was in the air—every history of every find, every circumstance of every struggle. Mrs. Gereth had drawn30 back every curtain and removed every cover; she prolonged the vistas31, opened wide the whole house, gave it an appearance of awaiting a royal visit. The shimmer32 of wrought33 substances spent itself in the brightness; the old golds and brasses34, old ivories and bronzes, the fresh old tapestries35 and deep old damasks threw out a radiance in which the poor woman saw in solution all her old loves and patiences, all her old tricks and triumphs.
Fleda had a depressed36 sense of not, after all, helping37 her much: this was lightened indeed by the fact that Mrs. Gereth, letting her off easily, didn't now seem to expect it. Her sympathy, her interest, her feeling for everything for which Mrs. Gereth felt, were a force that really worked to prolong the deadlock38. "I only wish I bored you and my possessions bored you," that lady, with some humor, declared; "then you'd make short work with me, bundle me off, tell me just to pile certain things into a cart and have done." Fleda's sharpest difficulty was in having to act up to the character of thinking Owen a brute39, or at least to carry off the inconsistency of seeing him when he came down. By good fortune it was her duty, her function, as well as a protection to Mrs. Gereth. She thought of him perpetually, and her eyes had come to rejoice in his manly40 magnificence more even than they rejoiced in the royal cabinets of the red saloon. She wondered, very faintly at first, why he came so often; but of course she knew nothing about the business he had in hand, over which, with men red-faced and leather-legged, he was sometimes closeted for an hour in a room of his own that was the one monstrosity of Poynton: all tobacco-pots and bootjacks, his mother had said—such an array of arms of aggression41 and castigation42 that he himself had confessed to eighteen rifles and forty whips. He was arranging for settlements on his wife, he was doing things that would meet the views of the Brigstocks. Considering the house was his own, Fleda thought it nice of him to keep himself in the background while his mother remained; making his visits, at some cost of ingenuity43 about trains from town, only between meals, doing everything to let it press lightly upon her that he was there. This was rather a stoppage to her meeting Mrs. Gereth on the ground of his being a brute; the most she really at last could do was not to contradict her when she repeated that he was watching—just insultingly watching. He was watching, no doubt; but he watched somehow with his head turned away. He knew that Fleda knew at present what he wanted of her, so that it would be gross of him to say it over and over. It existed as a confidence between them, and made him sometimes, with his wandering stare, meet her eyes as if a silence so pleasant could only unite them the more. He had no great flow of speech, certainly, and at first the girl took for granted that this was all there was to be said about the matter. Little by little she speculated as to whether, with a person who, like herself, could put him, after all, at a sort of domestic ease, it was not supposable that he would have more conversation if he were not keeping some of it back for Mona.
From the moment she suspected he might be thinking what Mona would say to his chattering44 so to an underhand "companion," who was all but paid, this young lady's repressed emotion began to require still more repression45. She grew impatient of her situation at Poynton; she privately46 pronounced it false and horrid47. She said to herself that she had let Owen know that she had, to the best of her power, directed his mother in the general sense he desired; that he quite understood it and that he also understood how unworthy it was of either of them to stand over the good lady with a notebook and a lash48. Wasn't this practical unanimity49 just practical success? Fleda became aware of a sudden desire, as well as of pressing reasons, to bring her stay at Poynton to a close. She had not, on the one hand, like a minion50 of the law, undertaken to see Mrs. Gereth down to the train and locked, in sign of her abdication51, into a compartment52; neither had she on the other committed herself to hold Owen indefinitely in dalliance while his mother gained time or dug a counter-mine. Besides, people were saying that she fastened like a leech53 on other people—people who had houses where something was to be picked up: this revelation was frankly54 made her by her sister, now distinctly doomed55 to the curate and in view of whose nuptials56 she had almost finished, as a present, a wonderful piece of embroidery57, suggested, at Poynton, by an old Spanish altar-cloth. She would have to exert herself still further for the intended recipient58 of this offering, turn her out for her marriage with more than that drapery. She would go up to town, in short, to dress Maggie; and their father, in lodgings59 at West Kensington, would stretch a point and take them in. He, to do him justice, never reproached her with profitable devotions; so far as they existed he consciously profited by them. Mrs. Gereth gave her up as heroically as if she had been a great bargain, and Fleda knew that she wouldn't at present miss any visit of Owen's, for Owen was shooting at Waterbath. Owen shooting was Owen lost, and there was scant60 sport at Poynton.
The first news she had from Mrs. Gereth was news of that lady's having accomplished61, in form at least, her migration62. The letter was dated from Ricks, to which place she had been transported by an impulse apparently63 as sudden as the inspiration she had obeyed before. "Yes, I've literally64 come," she wrote, "with a bandbox and a kitchen-maid; I've crossed the Rubicon, I've taken possession. It has been like plumping into cold water: I saw the only thing was to do it, not to stand shivering. I shall have warmed the place a little by simply being here for a week; when I come back the ice will have been broken. I didn't write to you to meet me on my way through town, because I know how busy you are and because, besides, I'm too savage65 and odious23 to be fit company even for you. You'd say I really go too far, and there's no doubt whatever I do. I'm here, at any rate, just to look round once more, to see that certain things are done before I enter in force. I shall probably be at Poynton all next week. There's more room than I quite measured the other day, and a rather good set of old Worcester. But what are space and time, what's even old Worcester, to your wretched and affectionate A. G.?"
The day after Fleda received this letter she had occasion to go into a big shop in Oxford66 Street—a journey that she achieved circuitously67, first on foot and then by the aid of two omnibuses. The second of these vehicles put her down on the side of the street opposite her shop, and while, on the curbstone, she humbly68 waited, with a parcel, an umbrella, and a tucked-up frock, to cross in security, she became aware that, close beside her, a hansom had pulled up short, in obedience69 to the brandished70 stick of a demonstrative occupant. This occupant was Owen Gereth, who had caught sight of her as he rattled71 along and who, with an exhibition of white teeth that, from under the hood72 of the cab, had almost flashed through the fog, now alighted to ask her if he couldn't give her a lift. On finding that her destination was only over the way he dismissed his vehicle and joined her, not only piloting her to the shop, but taking her in; with the assurance that his errands didn't matter, that it amused him to be concerned with hers. She told him she had come to buy a trimming for her sister's frock, and he expressed an hilarious73 interest in the purchase. His hilarity74 was almost always out of proportion to the case, but it struck her at present as more so than ever; especially when she had suggested that he might find it a good time to buy a garnishment75 of some sort for Mona. After wondering an instant whether he gave the full satiric76 meaning, such as it was, to this remark, Fleda dismissed the possibility as inconceivable. He stammered77 out that it was for her he would like to buy something, something "ripping," and that she must give him the pleasure of telling him what would best please her: he couldn't have a better opportunity for making her a present—the present, in recognition of all she had done for Mummy, that he had had in his head for weeks.
Fleda had more than one small errand in the big bazaar78, and he went up and down with her, pointedly79 patient, pretending to be interested in questions of tape and of change. She had now not the least hesitation80 in wondering what Mona would think of such proceedings81. But they were not her doing—they were Owen's; and Owen, inconsequent and even extravagant82, was unlike anything she had ever seen him before. He broke off, he came back, he repeated questions without heeding83 answers, he made vague, abrupt84 remarks about the resemblances of shopgirls and the uses of chiffon. He unduly85 prolonged their business together, giving Fleda a sense that he was putting off something particular that he had to face. If she had ever dreamed of Owen Gereth as nervous she would have seen him with some such manner as this. But why should he be nervous? Even at the height of the crisis his mother hadn't made him so, and at present he was satisfied about his mother. The one idea he stuck to was that Fleda should mention something she would let him give her: there was everything in the world in the wonderful place, and he made her incongruous offers—a traveling-rug, a massive clock, a table for breakfast in bed, and above all, in a resplendent binding86, a set of somebody's "works." His notion was a testimonial, a tribute, and the "works" would be a graceful87 intimation that it was her cleverness he wished above all to commemorate88. He was immensely in earnest, but the articles he pressed upon her betrayed a delicacy89 that went to her heart: what he would really have liked, as he saw them tumbled about, was one of the splendid stuffs for a gown—a choice proscribed90 by his fear of seeming to patronize her, to refer to her small means and her deficiencies. Fleda found it easy to chaff91 him about his exaggeration of her deserts; she gave the just measure of them in consenting to accept a small pin-cushion, costing sixpence, in which the letter F was marked out with pins. A sense of loyalty92 to Mona was not needed to enforce this discretion93, and after that first allusion94 to her she never sounded her name. She noticed on this occasion more things in Owen Gereth than she had ever noticed before, but what she noticed most was that he said no word of his intended. She asked herself what he had done, in so long a parenthesis95, with his loyalty or at least his "form;" and then reflected that even if he had done something very good with them the situation in which such a question could come up was already a little strange. Of course he wasn't doing anything so vulgar as making love to her; but there was a kind of punctilio for a man who was engaged.
That punctilio didn't prevent Owen from remaining with her after they had left the shop, from hoping she had a lot more to do, and from pressing her to look with him, for a possible glimpse of something she might really let him give her, into the windows of other establishments. There was a moment when, under this pressure, she made up her mind that his tribute would be, if analyzed96, a tribute to her insignificance97. But all the same he wanted her to come somewhere and have luncheon98 with him: what was that a tribute to? She must have counted very little if she didn't count too much for a romp99 in a restaurant. She had to get home with her trimming, and the most, in his company, she was amenable100 to was a retracing101 of her steps to the Marble Arch and then, after a discussion when they had reached it, a walk with him across the Park. She knew Mona would have considered that she ought to take the omnibus again; but she had now to think for Owen as well as for herself—she couldn't think for Mona. Even in the Park the autumn air was thick, and as they moved westward102 over the grass, which was what Owen preferred, the cool grayness made their words soft, made them at last rare and everything else dim. He wanted to stay with her—he wanted not to leave her: he had dropped into complete silence, but that was what his silence said. What was it he had postponed104? What was it he wanted still to postpone103? She grew a little scared as they strolled together and she thought. It was too confused to be believed, but it was as if somehow he felt differently. Fleda Vetch didn't suspect him at first of feeling differently to her, but only of feeling differently to Mona; yet she was not unconscious that this latter difference would have had something to do with his being on the grass beside her. She had read in novels about gentlemen who on the eve of marriage, winding105 up the past, had surrendered themselves for the occasion to the influence of a former tie; and there was something in Owen's behavior now, something in his very face, that suggested a resemblance to one of those gentlemen. But whom and what, in that case, would Fleda herself resemble? She wasn't a former tie, she wasn't any tie at all; she was only a deep little person for whom happiness was a kind of pearl-diving plunge106. It was down at the very bottom of all that had lately happened; for all that had lately happened was that Owen Gereth had come and gone at Poynton. That was the small sum of her experience, and what it had made for her was her own affair, quite consistent with her not having dreamed it had made a tie—at least what she called one—for Owen. The old one, at any rate, was Mona—Mona whom he had known so very much longer.
They walked far, to the southwest corner of the great Gardens, where, by the old round pond and the old red palace, when she had put out her hand to him in farewell, declaring that from the gate she must positively107 take a conveyance108, it seemed suddenly to rise between them that this was a real separation. She was on his mother's side, she belonged to his mother's life, and his mother, in the future, would never come to Poynton. After what had passed she wouldn't even be at his wedding, and it was not possible now that Mrs. Gereth should mention that ceremony to the girl, much less express a wish that the girl should be present at it. Mona, from decorum and with reference less to the bridegroom than to the bridegroom's mother, would of course not invite any such girl as Fleda. Everything therefore was ended; they would go their different ways; this was the last time they would stand face to face. They looked at each other with the fuller sense of it and, on Owen's part, with an expression of dumb trouble, the intensification109 of his usual appeal to any interlocutor to add the right thing to what he said. To Fleda, at this moment, it appeared that the right thing might easily be the wrong. He only said, at any rate: "I want you to understand, you know—I want you to understand."
What did he want her to understand? He seemed unable to bring it out, and this understanding was moreover exactly what she wished not to arrive at. Bewildered as she was, she had already taken in as much as she should know what to do with; the blood also was rushing into her face. He liked her—it was stupefying—more than he really ought: that was what was the matter with him and what he desired her to assimilate; so that she was suddenly as frightened as some thoughtless girl who finds herself the object of an overture110 from a married man.
"Good-bye, Mr. Gereth—I must get on!" she declared with a cheerfulness that she felt to be an unnatural111 grimace112. She broke away from him sharply, smiling, backing across the grass and then turning altogether and moving as fast as she could. "Good-bye, good-bye!" she threw off again as she went, wondering if he would overtake her before she reached the gate; conscious with a red disgust that her movement was almost a run; conscious too of just the confused, handsome face with which he would look after her. She felt as if she had answered a kindness with a great flouncing snub, but at any rate she had got away, though the distance to the gate, her ugly gallop113 down the Broad Walk, every graceless jerk of which hurt her, seemed endless. She signed from afar to a cab on the stand in the Kensington Road and scrambled114 into it, glad of the encompassment115 of the four-wheeler that had officiously obeyed her summons and that, at the end of twenty yards, when she had violently pulled up a glass, permitted her to recognize the fact that she was on the point of bursting into tears.
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1
shrieks
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| n.尖叫声( shriek的名词复数 )v.尖叫( shriek的第三人称单数 ) | |
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indignity
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| n.侮辱，伤害尊严，轻蔑 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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4
inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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loomed
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| v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的过去式和过去分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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insolently
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| adv.自豪地，自傲地 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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bravado
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| n.虚张声势，故作勇敢，逞能 | |
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12
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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13
accusation
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| n.控告，指责，谴责 | |
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defiant
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| adj.无礼的，挑战的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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concession
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| n.让步，妥协；特许(权) | |
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salvage
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| v.救助，营救，援救；n.救助，营救 | |
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19
wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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immutably
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| adv.不变地，永恒地 | |
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odiousness
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| n.可憎；讨厌；可恨 | |
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odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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25
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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tormentedly
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| 饱受折磨的 | |
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supplication
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| n.恳求，祈愿，哀求 | |
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perversely
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| adv. 倔强地 | |
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hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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30
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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vistas
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| 长条形景色( vista的名词复数 )； 回顾； 展望； （未来可能发生的）一系列情景 | |
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shimmer
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| v./n.发微光，发闪光；微光 | |
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wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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brasses
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| n.黄铜( brass的名词复数 )；铜管乐器；钱；黄铜饰品（尤指马挽具上的黄铜圆片） | |
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tapestries
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| n.挂毯( tapestry的名词复数 )；绣帷，织锦v.用挂毯（或绣帷）装饰( tapestry的第三人称单数 ) | |
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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deadlock
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| n.僵局，僵持 | |
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brute
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| n.野兽，兽性 | |
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40
manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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41
aggression
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| n.进攻，侵略，侵犯，侵害 | |
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42
castigation
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| n.申斥，强烈反对 | |
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43
ingenuity
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| n.别出心裁；善于发明创造 | |
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44
chattering
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| n. （机器振动发出的）咔嗒声，(鸟等)鸣，啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的，啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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45
repression
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| n.镇压，抑制，抑压 | |
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46
privately
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| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
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47
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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48
lash
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| v.系牢；鞭打；猛烈抨击；n.鞭打；眼睫毛 | |
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49
unanimity
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| n.全体一致，一致同意 | |
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50
minion
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| n.宠仆；宠爱之人 | |
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51
abdication
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| n.辞职；退位 | |
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52
compartment
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| n.卧车包房，隔间；分隔的空间 | |
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53
leech
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| n.水蛭，吸血鬼，榨取他人利益的人；vt.以水蛭吸血；vi.依附于别人 | |
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54
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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55
doomed
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| 命定的 | |
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56
nuptials
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| n.婚礼；婚礼( nuptial的名词复数 ) | |
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57
embroidery
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| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
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58
recipient
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| a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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60
scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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61
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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migration
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| n.迁移，移居，（鸟类等的）迁徙 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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Oxford
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| n.牛津（英国城市） | |
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circuitously
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| 曲折地 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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brandished
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| v.挥舞( brandish的过去式和过去分词 )；炫耀 | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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hood
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| n.头巾，兜帽，覆盖；v.罩上，以头巾覆盖 | |
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hilarious
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| adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed | |
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hilarity
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| n.欢乐；热闹 | |
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75
garnishment
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| n.装饰，装饰品 | |
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satiric
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| adj.讽刺的，挖苦的 | |
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stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bazaar
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| n.集市，商店集中区 | |
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pointedly
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| adv.尖地，明显地 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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heeding
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| v.听某人的劝告，听从( heed的现在分词 ) | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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unduly
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| adv.过度地，不适当地 | |
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binding
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| 有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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commemorate
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| vt.纪念，庆祝 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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proscribed
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| v.正式宣布（某事物）有危险或被禁止( proscribe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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chaff
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| v.取笑，嘲笑；n.谷壳 | |
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loyalty
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| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
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discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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parenthesis
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| n.圆括号，插入语，插曲，间歇，停歇 | |
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analyzed
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| v.分析( analyze的过去式和过去分词 )；分解；解释；对…进行心理分析 | |
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insignificance
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| n.不重要；无价值；无意义 | |
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luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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romp
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| n.欢闹；v.嬉闹玩笑 | |
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amenable
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| adj.经得起检验的；顺从的；对负有义务的 | |
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retracing
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| v.折回( retrace的现在分词 )；回忆；回顾；追溯 | |
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westward
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| n.西方，西部；adj.西方的，向西的；adv.向西 | |
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postpone
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| v.延期，推迟 | |
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104
postponed
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| vt.& vi.延期，缓办，（使）延迟vt.把…放在次要地位；[语]把…放在后面（或句尾）vi.（疟疾等）延缓发作（或复发） | |
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winding
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| n.绕，缠，绕组，线圈 | |
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106
plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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108
conveyance
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| n.(不动产等的)转让，让与；转让证书；传送；运送；表达；（正）运输工具 | |
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109
intensification
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| n.激烈化，增强明暗度；加厚 | |
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110
overture
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| n.前奏曲、序曲，提议，提案，初步交涉 | |
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111
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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112
grimace
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| v.做鬼脸，面部歪扭 | |
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113
gallop
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| v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展 | |
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114
scrambled
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| v.快速爬行( scramble的过去式和过去分词 )；攀登；争夺；（军事飞机）紧急起飞 | |
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115
encompassment
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| 包含 | |
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