“March 3rd, 1841.
“I told some time since, that I meant to get a situation, and when I said so my resolution was quite fixed13. I felt that however often I was disappointed, I had no intention of relinquishing14 my efforts. After being severely15 baffled two or three times,—after a world of trouble, in the way of correspondence and interviews,—I have at length succeeded, and am fairly established in my new place.
“The house is not very large, but exceedingly comfortable and well regulated; the grounds are fine and extensive. In taking the place, I have made a large sacrifice in the way of salary, in the hope of securing comfort,—by which word I do not mean to express good eating and drinking, or warm fire, or a soft bed, but the society of cheerful faces, and minds and hearts not dug out of a lead-mine, or cut from a marble quarry16. My salary is not really more than 16l. per annum, though it is nominally17 20l., but the expense of washing will be deducted18 therefrom. My pupils are two in number, a girl of eight, and a boy of six. As to my employers, you will not expect me to say much about their characters when I tell you that I only arrived here yesterday. I have not the faculty19 of telling an individual’s disposition20 at first sight. Before I can venture to pronounce on a character, I must see it first under various lights and from various points of view. All I can say therefore is, both Mr. and Mrs. --- seem to me good sort of people. I have as yet had no cause to complain of want of considerateness or civility. My pupils are wild and unbroken, but apparently21 well-disposed. I wish I may be able to say as much next time I write to you. My earnest wish and endeavour will be to please them. If I can but feel that I am giving satisfaction, and if at the same time I can keep my health, I shall, I hope, be moderately happy. But no one but myself can tell how hard a governess’s work is to me—for no one but myself is aware how utterly22 averse23 my whole mind and nature are for the employment. Do not think that I fail to blame myself for this, or that I leave any means unemployed24 to conquer this feeling. Some of my greatest difficulties lie in things that would appear to you comparatively trivial. I find it so hard to repel25 the rude familiarity of children. I find it so difficult to ask either servants or mistress for anything I want, however much I want it. It is less pain for me to endure the greatest inconvenience than to go into the kitchen to request its removal. I am a fool. Heaven knows I cannot help it!
“Now can you tell me whether it is considered improper26 for governesses to ask their friends to come and see them. I do not mean, of course, to stay, but just for a call of an hour or two? If it is not absolute treason, I do fervently27 request that you will contrive28, in some way or other, to let me have a sight of your face. Yet I feel, at the same time, that I am making a very foolish and almost impracticable demand; yet this is only four miles from B---!”
“March 21st.
“You must excuse a very short answer to your most welcome letter; for my time is entirely29 occupied. Mrs. --- expected a good deal of sewing from me. I cannot sew much during the day, on account of the children, who require the utmost attention. I am obliged, therefore, to devote the evenings to this business. Write to me often; very long letters. It will do both of us good. This place is far better than ---, but God knows, I have enough to do to keep a good heart in the matter. What you said has cheered me a little. I wish I could always act according to your advice. Home-sickness affects me sorely. I like Mr. --- extremely. The children are over-indulged, and consequently hard at times to manage. Do, do, do come and see me; if it be a breach30 of etiquette31, never mind. If you can only stop an hour, come. Talk no more about my forsaking32 you; my darling, I could not afford to do it. I find it is not in my nature to get on in this weary world without sympathy and attachment33 in some quarter; and seldom indeed do we find it. It is too great a treasure to be ever wantonly thrown away when once secured.”
Miss Brontë had not been many weeks in her new situation before she had a proof of the kind-hearted hospitality of her employers. Mr. --- wrote to her father, and urgently invited him to come and make acquaintance with his daughter’s new home, by spending a week with her in it; and Mrs. --- expressed great regret when one of Miss Brontë’s friends drove up to the house to leave a letter or parcel, without entering. So she found that all her friends might freely visit her, and that her father would be received with especial gladness. She thankfully acknowledged this kindness in writing to urge her friend afresh to come and see her; which she accordingly did.
“June, 1841.
“You can hardly fancy it possible, I dare say, that I cannot find a quarter of an hour to scribble35 a note in; but so it is; and when a note is written, it has to be carried a mile to the post, and that consumes nearly an hour, which is a large portion of the day. Mr. and Mrs. --- have been gone a week. I heard from them this morning. No time is fixed for their return, but I hope it will not be delayed long, or I shall miss the chance of seeing Anne this vacation. She came home, I understand, last Wednesday, and is only to be allowed three weeks’ vacation, because the family she is with are going to Scarborough. I should like to see her, to judge for myself of the state of her health. I dare not trust any other person’s report, no one seems minute enough in their observations. I should very much have liked you to have seen her. I have got on very well with the servants and children so far; yet it is dreary36, solitary37 work. You can tell as well as me the lonely feeling of being without a companion.”
Soon after this was written, Mr. and Mrs. --- returned, in time to allow Charlotte to go and look after Anne’s health, which, as she found to her intense anxiety, was far from strong. What could she do to nurse and cherish up this little sister, the youngest of them all? Apprehension38 about her brought up once more the idea of keeping a school. If, by this means, they three could live together, and maintain themselves, all might go well. They would have some time of their own, in which to try again and yet again at that literary career, which, in spite of all baffling difficulties, was never quite set aside as an ultimate object; but far the strongest motive39 with Charlotte was the conviction that Anne’s health was so delicate that it required a degree of tending which none but her sister could give. Thus she wrote during those midsummer holidays.
“Haworth, July 18th, 1841.
“We waited long and anxiously for you, on the Thursday that you promised to come. I quite wearied my eyes with watching from the window, eye-glass in hand, and sometimes spectacles on nose. However, you are not to blame . . . and as to disappointment, why, all must suffer disappointment at some period or other of their lives. But a hundred things I had to say to you will now be forgotten, and never said. There is a project hatching in this house, which both Emily and I anxiously wished to discuss with you. The project is yet in its infancy, hardly peeping from its shell; and whether it will ever come out a fine full-fledged chicken, or will turn addle40 and die before it cheeps, is one of those considerations that are but dimly revealed by the oracles41 of futurity. Now, don’t be nonplussed42 by all this metaphorical43 mystery. I talk of a plain and everyday occurrence, though, in Delphic style, I wrap up the information in figures of speech concerning eggs, chickens etceatera, etcaeterorum. To come to the point: Papa and aunt talk, by fits and starts, of our—id est, Emily, Anne, and myself—commencing a school! I have often, you know, said how much I wished such a thing; but I never could conceive where the capital was to come from for making such a speculation44. I was well aware, indeed, that aunt had money, but I always considered that she was the last person who would offer a loan for the purpose in question. A loan, however, she has offered, or rather intimates that she perhaps will offer in case pupils can be secured, an eligible45 situation obtained, &c. This sounds very fair, but still there are matters to be considered which throw something of a damp upon the scheme. I do not expect that aunt will sink more than 150l. in such a venture; and would it be possible to establish a respectable (not by any means a showy) school, and to commence housekeeping with a capital of only that amount? Propound46 the question to your sister, if you think she can answer it; if not, don’t say a word on the subject. As to getting into debt, that is a thing we could none of us reconcile our mind to for a moment. We do not care how modest, how humble47 our commencement be, so it be made on sure grounds, and have a safe foundation. In thinking of all possible and impossible places where we could establish a school, I have thought of Burlington, or rather of the neighbourhood of Burlington. Do you remember whether there was any other school there besides that of Miss ---? This is, of course, a perfectly48 crude and random49 idea. There are a hundred reasons why it should be an impracticable one. We have no connections, no acquaintances there; it is far from home, &c. Still, I fancy the ground in the East Riding is less fully34 occupied than in the West. Much inquiry50 and consideration will be necessary, of course, before any place is decided51 on; and I fear much time will elapse before any plan is executed . . . Write as soon as you can. I shall not leave my present situation till my future prospects52 assume a more fixed and definite aspect.”
A fortnight afterwards, we see that the seed has been sown which was to grow up into a plan materially influencing her future life.
“August 7th, 1841.
“This is Saturday evening; I have put the children to bed; now I am going to sit down and answer your letter. I am again by myself—housekeeper and governess—for Mr. and Mrs. --- are staying at ---. To speak truth, though I am solitary while they are away, it is still by far the happiest part of my time. The children are under decent control, the servants are very observant and attentive53 to me, and the occasional absence of the master and mistress relieves me from the duty of always endeavouring to seem cheerful and conversable. Martha ---, it appears, is in the way of enjoying great advantages; so is Mary, for you will be surprised to hear that she is returning immediately to the Continent with her brother; not, however, to stay there, but to take a month’s tour and recreation. I have had a long letter from Mary, and a packet containing a present of a very handsome black silk scarf, and a pair of beautiful kid gloves, bought at Brussels. Of course, I was in one sense pleased with the gift—pleased that they should think of me so far off, amidst the excitements of one of the most splendid capitals of Europe; and yet it felt irksome to accept it. I should think Mary and Martha have not more than sufficient pocket-money to supply themselves. I wish they had testified their regard by a less expensive token. Mary’s letters spoke54 of some of the pictures and cathedrals she had seen—pictures the most exquisite55, cathedrals the most venerable. I hardly know what swelled56 to my throat as I read her letter: such a vehement57 impatience58 of restraint and steady work; such a strong wish for wings—wings such as wealth can furnish; such an urgent thirst to see, to know, to learn; something internal seemed to expand bodily for a minute. I was tantalised by the consciousness of faculties unexercised,—then all collapsed59, and I despaired. My dear, I would hardly make that confession60 to any one but yourself; and to you, rather in a letter than vivâ voce. These rebellious61 and absurd emotions were only momentary62; I quelled63 them in five minutes. I hope they will not revive, for they were acutely painful. No further steps have been taken about the project I mentioned to you, nor probably will be for the present; but Emily, and Anne, and I, keep it in view. It is our polar star, and we look to it in all circumstances of despondency. I begin to suspect I am writing in a strain which will make you think I am unhappy. This is far from being the case; on the contrary, I know my place is a favourable64 one, for a governess. What dismays and haunts me sometimes, is a conviction that I have no natural knack65 for my vocation66. If teaching only were requisite67, it would be smooth and easy; but it is the living in other people’s houses—the estrangement68 from one’s real character—the adoption69 of a cold, rigid70, apathetic71 exterior72, that is painful . . . You will not mention our school project at present. A project not actually commenced is always uncertain. Write to me often, my dear Nell; you know your letters are valued. Your ‘loving child’ (as you choose to call me so),
C. B.
“P.S. I am well in health; don’t fancy I am not, but I have one aching feeling at my heart (I must allude73 to it, though I had resolved not to). It is about Anne; she has so much to endure: far, far more than I ever had. When my thoughts turn to her, they always see her as a patient, persecuted74 stranger. I know what concealed75 susceptibility is in her nature, when her feelings are wounded. I wish I could be with her, to administer a little balm. She is more lonely—less gifted with the power of making friends, even than I am. ‘drop the subject.’”
She could bear much for herself; but she could not patiently bear the sorrows of others, especially of her sisters; and again, of the two sisters, the idea of the little, gentle, youngest suffering in lonely patience, was insupportable to her. Something must be done. No matter if the desired end were far away; all time was lost in which she was not making progress, however slow, towards it. To have a school, was to have some portion of daily leisure, uncontrolled but by her own sense of duty; it was for the three sisters, loving each other with so passionate76 an affection, to be together under one roof, and yet earning their own subsistence; above all, it was to have the power of watching over these two whose life and happiness were ever to Charlotte far more than her own. But no trembling impatience should lead her to take an unwise step in haste. She inquired in every direction she could, as to the chances which a new school might have of success. In all there seemed more establishments like the one which the sisters wished to set up than could be supported. What was to be done? Superior advantages must be offered. But how? They themselves abounded77 in thought, power, and information; but these are qualifications scarcely fit to be inserted in a prospectus78. Of French they knew something; enough to read it fluently, but hardly enough to teach it in competition with natives or professional masters. Emily and Anne had some knowledge of music; but here again it was doubtful whether, without more instruction, they could engage to give lessons in it.
Just about this time, Miss W--- was thinking of relinquishing her school at Dewsbury Moor79; and offered to give it up in favour of her old pupils, the Brontës. A sister of hers had taken the active management since the time when Charlotte was a teacher; but the number of pupils had diminished; and, if the Brontës undertook it, they would have to try and work it up to its former state of prosperity. This, again, would require advantages on their part which they did not at present possess, but which Charlotte caught a glimpse of. She resolved to follow the clue, and never to rest till she had reached a successful issue. With the forced calm of a suppressed eagerness, that sends a glow of desire through every word of the following letter, she wrote to her aunt thus.
“Dear Aunt,
“Sept. 29th, 1841.
“I have heard nothing of Miss W--- yet since I wrote to her, intimating that I would accept her offer. I cannot conjecture80 the reason of this long silence, unless some unforeseen impediment has occurred in concluding the bargain. Meantime, a plan has been suggested and approved by Mr. and Mrs. --- ” (the father and mother of her pupils) “and others, which I wish now to impart to you. My friends recommend me, if I desire to secure permanent success, to delay commencing the school for six months longer, and by all means to contrive, by hook or by crook81, to spend the intervening time in some school on the continent. They say schools in England are so numerous, competition so great, that without some such step towards attaining82 superiority, we shall probably have a very hard struggle, and may fail in the end. They say, moreover, that the loan of 100l., which you have been so kind as to offer us, will, perhaps, not be all required now, as Miss W--- will lend us the furniture; and that, if the speculation is intended to be a good and successful one, half the sum, at least, ought to be laid out in the manner I have mentioned, thereby83 insuring a more speedy repayment84 both of interest and principal.
“I would not go to France or to Paris. I would go to Brussels, in Belgium. The cost of the journey there, at the dearest rate of travelling, would be 5l.; living is there little more than half as dear as it is in England, and the facilities for education are equal or superior to any other place in Europe. In half a year, I could acquire a thorough familiarity with French. I could improve greatly in Italian, and even get a dash of German, i.e., providing my health continued as good as it is now. Mary is now staying at Brussels, at a first-rate establishment there. I should not think of going to the Château de Kokleberg, where she is resident, as the terms are much too high; but if I wrote to her, she, with the assistance of Mrs. Jenkins, the wife of the British Chaplain, would be able to secure me a cheap, decent residence and respectable protection. I should have the opportunity of seeing her frequently; she would make me acquainted with the city; and, with the assistance of her cousins, I should probably be introduced to connections far more improving, polished, and cultivated, than any I have yet known.
“These are advantages which would turn to real account, when we actually commenced a school; and, if Emily could share them with me, we could take a footing in the world afterwards which we can never do now. I say Emily instead of Anne; for Anne might take her turn at some future period, if our school answered. I feel certain, while I am writing, that you will see the propriety85 of what I say. You always like to use your money to the best advantage. You are not fond of making shabby purchases; when you do confer a favour, it is often done in style; and depend upon it, 50l., or 100l., thus laid out, would be well employed. Of course, I know no other friend in the world to whom I could apply on this subject except yourself. I feel an absolute conviction that, if this advantage were allowed us, it would be the making of us for life. Papa will, perhaps, think it a wild and ambitious scheme; but who ever rose in the world without ambition? When he left Ireland to go to Cambridge University, he was as ambitious as I am now. I want us all to get on. I know we have talents, and I want them to be turned to account. I look to you, aunt, to help us. I think you will not refuse. I know, if you consent, it shall not be my fault if you ever repent86 your kindness.”
This letter was written from the house in which she was residing as governess. It was some little time before an answer came. Much had to be talked over between the father and aunt in Haworth Parsonage. At last consent was given. Then, and not till then, she confided87 her plan to an intimate friend. She was not one to talk over-much about any project, while it remained uncertain—to speak about her labour, in any direction, while its result was doubtful.
“Nov. 2nd, 1841.
“Now let us begin to quarrel. In the first place, I must consider whether I will commence operations on the defensive88, or the offensive. The defensive, I think. You say, and I see plainly, that your feelings have been hurt by an apparent want of confidence on my part. You heard from others of Miss W---’s overtures89 before I communicated them to you myself. This is true. I was deliberating on plans important to my future prospects. I never exchanged a letter with you on the subject. True again. This appears strange conduct to a friend, near and dear, long-known, and never found wanting. Most true. I cannot give you my excuses for this behaviour; this word excuse implies confession of a fault, and I do not feel that I have been in fault. The plain fact is, I was not, I am not now, certain of my destiny. On the contrary, I have been most uncertain, perplexed90 with contradictory91 schemes and proposals. My time, as I have often told you, is fully occupied; yet I had many letters to write, which it was absolutely necessary should be written. I knew it would avail nothing to write to you then to say I was in doubt and uncertainty—hoping this, fearing that, anxious, eagerly desirous to do what seemed impossible to be done. When I thought of you in that busy interval92, it was to resolve, that you should know all when my way was clear, and my grand end attained93. If I could, I would always work in silence and obscurity, and let my efforts be known by their results. Miss W--- did most kindly94 propose that I should come to Dewsbury Moor and attempt to revive the school her sister had relinquished95. She offered me the use of her furniture. At first, I received the proposal cordially, and prepared to do my utmost to bring about success; but a fire was kindled96 in my very heart, which I could not quench97. I so longed to increase my attainments—to become something better than I am; a glimpse of what I felt, I showed to you in one of my former letters—only a glimpse; Mary cast oil upon the flames—encouraged me, and in her own strong, energetic language, heartened me on. I longed to go to Brussels; but how could I get there? I wished for one, at least, of my sisters to share the advantage with me. I fixed on Emily. She deserved the reward, I knew. How could the point be managed? In extreme excitement, I wrote a letter home, which carried the day. I made an appeal to aunt for assistance, which was answered by consent. Things are not settled; yet it is sufficient to say we have a chance of going for half a year. Dewsbury Moor is relinquished. Perhaps, fortunately so. In my secret soul, I believe there is no cause to regret it. My plans for the future are bounded to this intention: if I once get to Brussels, and if my health is spared, I will do my best to make the utmost of every advantage that shall come within my reach. When the half-year is expired, I will do what I can.
“Believe me, though I was born in April, the month of cloud and sunshine, I am not changeful. My spirits are unequal, and sometimes I speak vehemently98, and sometimes I say nothing at all; but I have a steady regard for you, and if you will let the cloud and shower pass by, be sure the sun is always behind, obscured, but still existing.”
At Christmas she left her situation, after a parting with her employers which seems to have affected99 and touched her greatly. “They only made too much of me,” was her remark, after leaving this family; “I did not deserve it.”
All four children hoped to meet together at their father’s house this December. Branwell expected to have a short leave of absence from his employment as a clerk on the Leeds and Manchester Railway, in which he had been engaged for five months. Anne arrived before Christmas-day. She had rendered herself so valuable in her difficult situation, that her employers vehemently urged her to return, although she had announced her resolution to leave them; partly on account of the harsh treatment she had received, and partly because her stay at home, during her sisters’ absence in Belgium, seemed desirable, when the age of the three remaining inhabitants of the parsonage was taken into consideration.
After some correspondence and much talking over plans at home, it seemed better, in consequence of letters which they received from Brussels giving a discouraging account of the schools there, that Charlotte and Emily should go to an institution at Lille, in the north of France, which was highly recommended by Baptist Noel, and other clergymen. Indeed, at the end of January, it was arranged that they were to set off for this place in three weeks, under the escort of a French lady, then visiting in London. The terms were 50l. each pupil, for board and French alone, but a separate room was to be allowed for this sum; without this indulgence, it was lower. Charlotte writes:—
“January 20th, 1842.
“I consider it kind in aunt to consent to an extra sum for a separate room. We shall find it a great privilege in many ways. I regret the change from Brussels to Lille on many accounts, chiefly that I shall not see Martha. Mary has been indefatigably100 kind in providing me with information. She has grudged101 no labour, and scarcely any expense, to that end. Mary’s price is above rubies102. I have, in fact, two friends—you and her—staunch and true, in whose faith and sincerity103 I have as strong a belief as I have in the Bible. I have bothered you both—you especially; but you always get the tongs104 and heap coals of fire upon my head. I have had letters to write lately to Brussels, to Lille, and to London. I have lots of chemises, nightgowns, pocket-handkerchiefs, and pockets to make; besides clothes to repair. I have been, every week since I came home, expecting to see Branwell, and he has never been able to get over yet. We fully expect him, however, next Saturday. Under these circumstances how can I go visiting? You tantalize105 me to death with talking of conversations by the fireside. Depend upon it, we are not to have any such for many a long month to come. I get an interesting impression of old age upon my face; and when you see me next I shall certainly wear caps and spectacles.”
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esteemed
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eke
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destitute
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| adj.缺乏的；穷困的 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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relinquish
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caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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specimens
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excellence
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| n.优秀，杰出，(pl.)优点，美德 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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relinquishing
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的现在分词 )； 放弃 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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quarry
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| n.采石场；v.采石；费力地找 | |
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nominally
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| 在名义上，表面地； 应名儿 | |
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deducted
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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disposition
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apparently
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utterly
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averse
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unemployed
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repel
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improper
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fervently
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contrive
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entirely
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breach
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etiquette
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forsaking
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| 放弃( forsake的现在分词 )； 弃绝； 抛弃； 摒弃 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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35
scribble
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| v.潦草地书写，乱写，滥写；n.潦草的写法，潦草写成的东西，杂文 | |
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36
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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39
motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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40
addle
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| v.使腐坏，使昏乱 | |
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41
oracles
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| 神示所( oracle的名词复数 )； 神谕； 圣贤； 哲人 | |
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42
nonplussed
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| adj.不知所措的，陷于窘境的v.使迷惑( nonplus的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43
metaphorical
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| a.隐喻的，比喻的 | |
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44
speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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45
eligible
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| adj.有条件被选中的；(尤指婚姻等)合适(意)的 | |
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46
propound
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| v.提出 | |
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47
humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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49
random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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50
inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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51
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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52
prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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53
attentive
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| adj.注意的，专心的；关心(别人)的，殷勤的 | |
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54
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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56
swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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vehement
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| adj.感情强烈的；热烈的；(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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collapsed
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| adj.倒塌的 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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rebellious
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| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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quelled
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| v.（用武力）制止，结束，镇压( quell的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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favourable
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| adj.赞成的，称赞的，有利的，良好的，顺利的 | |
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knack
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| n.诀窍，做事情的灵巧的，便利的方法 | |
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vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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estrangement
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| n.疏远，失和，不和 | |
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adoption
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| n.采用，采纳，通过；收养 | |
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rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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apathetic
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| adj.冷漠的，无动于衷的 | |
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exterior
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| adj.外部的，外在的；表面的 | |
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allude
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| v.提及，暗指 | |
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74
persecuted
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| （尤指宗教或政治信仰的）迫害(~sb. for sth.)( persecute的过去式和过去分词 )； 烦扰，困扰或骚扰某人 | |
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75
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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abounded
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| v.大量存在，充满，富于( abound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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prospectus
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| n.计划书；说明书；慕股书 | |
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79
moor
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| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
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conjecture
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| n./v.推测，猜测 | |
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81
crook
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| v.使弯曲；n.小偷，骗子，贼；弯曲(处) | |
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82
attaining
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的现在分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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83
thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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84
repayment
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| n.偿还，偿还款；报酬 | |
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85
propriety
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| n.正当行为；正当；适当 | |
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86
repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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87
confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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88
defensive
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| adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的 | |
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89
overtures
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| n.主动的表示，提议；（向某人做出的）友好表示、姿态或提议( overture的名词复数 )；（歌剧、芭蕾舞、音乐剧等的）序曲，前奏曲 | |
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90
perplexed
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| adj.不知所措的 | |
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91
contradictory
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| adj.反驳的，反对的，抗辩的；n.正反对，矛盾对立 | |
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92
interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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93
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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94
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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95
relinquished
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| 交出，让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 )； 放弃 | |
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96
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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97
quench
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| vt.熄灭，扑灭；压制 | |
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98
vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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99
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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100
indefatigably
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| adv.不厌倦地，不屈不挠地 | |
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101
grudged
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| 怀恨（grudge的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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102
rubies
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| 红宝石( ruby的名词复数 )； 红宝石色，深红色 | |
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103
sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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104
tongs
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| n.钳；夹子 | |
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105
tantalize
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| vt.使干着急，逗弄 | |
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