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THE BEST OF LIFE
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You say, my dear Anushka, that you have nothing but your dreams; you are full of dreams; drunk every day with ideals. And you speak of this as if it were a weakness, something to be ashamed of.
You are young. All your years slant1 upward. Before you life stretches out as a vast untried adventure. Love is yet to come, and success, and a career. Let me, who am over the hillcrest and on the westering slope, talk to you a bit.
And looking back on all that I have had and felt and lived, let me say to you that the best of all was the dream. Not what I got but what I longed for, not what I attained2 119 unto but what I aimed at, these are my harvest, my treasures.
I fished in the sea, but the biggest fish got away. I hunted in the wood, but the brightest birds, the fleetest deer, were those I glimpsed and saw as they vanished.
The things I have seen, gazed at with full vision, were cheap and tawdry compared to those that flashed by and were caught only by the tail of my eye.
What I have done is a poor compromise. What I dreamed of doing was wonderful. I have composed music such as the angels might covet3 to sing. I have painted pictures, carved statues, built palaces, such as no hands of flesh could accomplish.
I have said words that broke hearts with their infinite tragedy, and healed them again with their divine accent of consolation4. I have written books that swayed the world’s 120 heart as the summer wind bends the wheat-field.
But it was all in the realm of might-have-been, beyond the mountains of the possible.
This real self I am afraid for you to know. It is so commonplace. I am just a man, and the worse for wear. I am not a bit splendid nor dazzling, but by way of being shop-worn.
It is only my beautiful secret that comforts me to take of what I dreamed; it is only this that encourages me to take my journey hopefully among the stars when my release comes; perhaps there, in some cozy5 planet among the Pleiades, or dwelling
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1
slant
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| v.倾斜,倾向性地编写或报道;n.斜面,倾向 | |
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2
attained
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| (通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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3
covet
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| vt.垂涎;贪图(尤指属于他人的东西) | |
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4
consolation
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| n.安慰,慰问 | |
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5
cozy
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| adj.亲如手足的,密切的,暖和舒服的 | |
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6
dwelling
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| n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
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7
petals
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| n.花瓣( petal的名词复数 ) | |
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8
disillusioned
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| a.不再抱幻想的,大失所望的,幻想破灭的 | |
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9
withered
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| adj. 枯萎的,干瘪的,(人身体的部分器官)因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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10
foam
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| v./n.泡沫,起泡沫 | |
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11
noisome
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| adj.有害的,可厌的 | |
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12
uproar
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| n.骚动,喧嚣,鼎沸 | |
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13
residue
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| n.残余,剩余,残渣 | |
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