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XIX. BOYHOOD
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PERHAPS people will scarcely believe me when I tell them what were the dearest, most constant, objects of my reflections during my boyhood, so little did those objects consort1 with my age and position. Yet, in my opinion, contrast between a man’s actual position and his moral activity constitutes the most reliable sign of his genuineness.
During the period when I was leading a solitary2 and self-centred moral life, I was much taken up with abstract thoughts on man’s destiny, on a future life, and on the immortality3 of the soul, and, with all the ardour of inexperience, strove to make my youthful intellect solve those questions—the questions which constitute the highest level of thought to which the human intellect can tend, but a final decision of which the human intellect can never succeed in attaining4.
I believe the intellect to take the same course of development in the individual as in the mass, as also that the thoughts which serve as a basis for philosophical5 theories are an inseparable part of that intellect, and that every man must be more or less conscious of those thoughts before he can know anything of the existence of philosophical theories. To my own mind those thoughts presented themselves with such clarity and force that I tried to apply them to life, in the fond belief that I was the first to have discovered such splendid and invaluable6 truths.
Sometimes I would suppose that happiness depends, not upon external causes themselves, but only upon our relation to them, and that, provided a man can accustom7 himself to bearing suffering, he need never be unhappy. To prove the latter hypothesis, I would (despite the horrible pain) hold out a Tatistchev’s dictionary at arm’s length for five minutes at a time, or else go into the store-room and scourge
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1
consort
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v.相伴;结交 | |
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2
solitary
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adj.孤独的,独立的,荒凉的;n.隐士 | |
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3
immortality
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n.不死,不朽 | |
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4
attaining
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(通常经过努力)实现( attain的现在分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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5
philosophical
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adj.哲学家的,哲学上的,达观的 | |
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6
invaluable
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adj.无价的,非常宝贵的,极为贵重的 | |
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7
accustom
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vt.使适应,使习惯 | |
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8
scourge
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n.灾难,祸害;v.蹂躏 | |
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9
acting
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n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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10
reposing
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v.将(手臂等)靠在某人(某物)上( repose的现在分词 ) | |
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standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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smearing
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污点,拖尾效应 | |
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innate
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adj.天生的,固有的,天赋的 | |
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eternity
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n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
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15
recollect
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v.回忆,想起,记起,忆起,记得 | |
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speculative
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adj.思索性的,暝想性的,推理的 | |
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verging
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接近,逼近(verge的现在分词形式) | |
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insanity
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n.疯狂,精神错乱;极端的愚蠢,荒唐 | |
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vagaries
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n.奇想( vagary的名词复数 );异想天开;异常行为;难以预测的情况 | |
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purported
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adj.传说的,谣传的v.声称是…,(装得)像是…的样子( purport的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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21
inadequate
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adj.(for,to)不充足的,不适当的 | |
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22
derived
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vi.起源;由来;衍生;导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 );(从…中)得到获得;源于;(从…中)提取 | |
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pliancy
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n.柔软,柔顺 | |
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diminution
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n.减少;变小 | |
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apprehending
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逮捕,拘押( apprehend的现在分词 ); 理解 | |
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bent
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n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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inclination
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n.倾斜;点头;弯腰;斜坡;倾度;倾向;爱好 | |
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labyrinthine
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adj.如迷宫的;复杂的 | |
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conceit
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n.自负,自高自大 | |
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XX. WOLODA
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