Sir Frank Random¹ was an amiable² young gentleman with—as the saying goes—all his goods in the shop window. Fair-haired and tall, with a well-knit, athletic³ figure, a polished manner, and a man-of-the-world air, he strictly⁴ resembled the romantic officer of Bow Bells, Family Herald⁵, Young Ladies' Journal fiction. But the romance was all in his well-groomed looks, as he was as commonplace a Saxon as could be met with in a day's march. Fond of sport, attentive⁶ to his duties as artillery⁷ captain, and devoted⁸ to what is romantically known as the fair sex, he sauntered easily through life, very well contented⁹ with himself and with his agreeable surroundings. He read fiction when he did read, and those weekly papers devoted to sport; troubled his head very little about politics, save when they had to do with a possible German invasion, and was always ready to do any one a good turn. His brother-officers declared that he was not half a bad sort, which was high praise from the usually reticent¹⁰ service man. His capacity may be accurately¹¹ gauged¹² by the fact that he did not possess a single enemy, and that every one spoke¹³ well of him. A mortal who possesses no quality likely to be envied by those around him is certain to belong to the rank and file of humanity. But these unconsidered units of mankind can always console themselves with the undoubted fact that mediocrity is invariably happy.

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