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CHAPTER 33 THE LITTLE GODS RETURN WITH A LADY
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Grizel's clear, searching eyes, that were always asking for the truth, came back to her, and I seem to see them on me now, watching lest I shirk the end.
Thus I can make no pretence2 (to please you) that it was a new Tommy at last. We have seen how he gave his life to her during those eighteen months, but he could not make himself anew. They say we can do it, so I suppose he did not try hard enough; but God knows how hard he tried.
He went on trying. In those first days she sometimes asked him, "Did you do it out of love, or was it pity only?" And he always said it was love. He said it adoringly. He told her all that love meant to him, and it meant everything that he thought Grizel would like it to mean. When she ceased to ask this question he thought it was because he had convinced her.
They had a honeymoon3 by the sea. He insisted upon it with boyish eagerness, and as they walked on the links or sat in their room he would exclaim ecstatically: "How happy I am! I wonder if there were ever two people quite so happy as you and I!"
And if he waited for an answer, as he usually did, she might smile lightly and say: "Few people have gone through so much."
"Is there any woman in the world, Grizel, with whom you would change places?"
"No, none," she said at once; and when he was sure of it, but never until he was sure, he would give his mind a little holiday; and then, perhaps, those candid4 eyes would rest searchingly upon him, but always with a brave smile ready should he chance to look up.
And it was just the same when they returned to Double Dykes5, which they added to and turned into a comfortable home—Tommy trying to become a lover by taking thought, and Grizel not letting on that it could not be done in that way. She thought it was very sweet of him to try so hard—sweeter of him than if he really had loved her, though not, of course, quite so sweet to her. He was a boy only. She knew that, despite all he had gone through, he was still a boy. And boys cannot love. Oh, who would be so cruel as to ask a boy to love?
That Grizel's honeymoon should never end was his grand ambition, and he took elaborate precautions against becoming a matter-of-fact husband. Every morning he ordered himself to gaze at her with
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1
hem
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n.贴边,镶边;vt.缝贴边;(in)包围,限制 | |
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2
pretence
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n.假装,作假;借口,口实;虚伪;虚饰 | |
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3
honeymoon
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n.蜜月(假期);vi.度蜜月 | |
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4
candid
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adj.公正的,正直的;坦率的 | |
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dykes
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abbr.diagonal wire cutters 斜线切割机n.堤( dyke的名词复数 );坝;堰;沟 | |
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rapture
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n.狂喜;全神贯注;着迷;v.使狂喜 | |
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gaily
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adv.欢乐地,高兴地 | |
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den
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n.兽穴;秘密地方;安静的小房间,私室 | |
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impulsively
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adv.冲动地 | |
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10
utterance
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n.用言语表达,话语,言语 | |
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longings
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渴望,盼望( longing的名词复数 ) | |
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12
linen
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n.亚麻布,亚麻线,亚麻制品;adj.亚麻布制的,亚麻的 | |
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13
decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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consolation
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n.安慰,慰问 | |
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contented
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adj.满意的,安心的,知足的 | |
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exquisite
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adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
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quaint
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adj.古雅的,离奇有趣的,奇怪的 | |
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conceal
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v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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blurted
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v.突然说出,脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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joyfully
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adv. 喜悦地, 高兴地 | |
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reverently
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adv.虔诚地 | |
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disported
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v.嬉戏,玩乐,自娱( disport的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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glowered
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v.怒视( glower的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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depressed
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adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的 | |
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sentimental
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adj.多愁善感的,感伤的 | |
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groan
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vi./n.呻吟,抱怨;(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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vowed
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起誓,发誓(vow的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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yearning
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a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的 | |
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tilted
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v. 倾斜的 | |
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budge
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v.移动一点儿;改变立场 | |
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intoxicate
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vt.使喝醉,使陶醉,使欣喜若狂 | |
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ardently
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adv.热心地,热烈地 | |
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33
agonized
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v.使(极度)痛苦,折磨( agonize的过去式和过去分词 );苦斗;苦苦思索;感到极度痛苦 | |
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34
helping
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n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的 | |
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dallied
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v.随随便便地对待( dally的过去式和过去分词 );不很认真地考虑;浪费时间;调情 | |
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esteem
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n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作 | |
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determinedly
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adv.决意地;坚决地,坚定地 | |
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drawn
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v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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