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CHAPTER IX WHICH IS THE TEST
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ANDERSONVILLE. Twelve years later.
Twelve years—yes. And I'm twenty-eight years old. Pretty old, little Mary Marie of the long ago would think. And, well, perhaps to-day I feel just as old as she would put it.
I came up into the attic1 this morning to pack away some things I shall no longer need, now that I am going to leave Jerry. (Jerry is my husband.) And in the bottom of my little trunk I found this manuscript. I had forgotten that such a thing existed; but with its laboriously2 written pages before me, it all came back to me; and I began to read; here a sentence; there a paragraph; somewhere else a page. Then, with a little half laugh and half sob3, I carried it to an old rocking-chair by the cobwebby dormer window, and settled myself to read it straight through.
And I have read it.
Poor little Mary Marie! Dear little Mary Marie! To meet you like this, to share with you your joys and sorrows, hopes and despairs, of those years long ago, is like sitting hand in hand on a sofa with a childhood's friend, each listening to an eager "And do you remember?" falling constantly from delighted lips that cannot seem to talk half fast enough.
But you have taught me much, little Mary Marie. I understand—oh, I understand so many things so much better, now, since reading this little story in your round childish hand. You see, I had almost forgotten that I was a Mary and a Marie—Jerry calls me Mollie—and I had wondered what were those contending forces within me. I know now. It is the Mary and the Marie trying to settle their old, old quarrel.
It was almost dark when I had finished the manuscript. The far corners of the attic were peopled with fantastic shadows, and the spiders in the window were swaying, lazy and full-stomached, in the midst of the day's spoils of gruesome wings and legs. I got up slowly, stiffly, shivering a little. I felt suddenly old and worn and ineffably4 weary. It is a long, long journey back to our childhood—sometimes, even though one may be only twenty-eight.
I looked down at the last page of the manuscript. It was written on the top sheet of a still thick pad of paper, and my fingers fairly
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1
attic
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| n.顶楼,屋顶室 | |
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laboriously
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| adv.艰苦地;费力地;辛勤地;(文体等)佶屈聱牙地 | |
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sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机;呜咽,哭泣 | |
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ineffably
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| adv.难以言喻地,因神圣而不容称呼地 | |
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tingled
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| v.有刺痛感( tingle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护 | |
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tingling
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| v.有刺痛感( tingle的现在分词 ) | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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confessions
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| n.承认( confession的名词复数 );自首;声明;(向神父的)忏悔 | |
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blot
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| vt.弄脏(用吸墨纸)吸干;n.污点,污渍 | |
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smoothly
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| adv.平滑地,顺利地,流利地,流畅地 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地,不变地;岿然;坚定不渝 | |
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hem
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| n.贴边,镶边;vt.缝贴边;(in)包围,限制 | |
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erase
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| v.擦掉;消除某事物的痕迹 | |
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WHIMS
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| 虚妄,禅病 | |
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whim
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| n.一时的兴致,突然的念头;奇想,幻想 | |
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autobiography
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| n.自传 | |
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strew
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| vt.撒;使散落;撒在…上,散布于 | |
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insistence
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| n.坚持;强调;坚决主张 | |
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sodas
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| n.苏打( soda的名词复数 );碱;苏打水;汽水 | |
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bonbons
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| n.小糖果( bonbon的名词复数 ) | |
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judgment
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| n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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spoke
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| n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的,沉闷的,单调乏味的 | |
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disapproved
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| v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的;致病的;病态的;可怕的 | |
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measles
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| n.麻疹,风疹,包虫病,痧子 | |
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whooping
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| 发嗬嗬声的,发咳声的 | |
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averted
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| 防止,避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 ); 转移 | |
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meditated
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| 深思,沉思,冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 ); 内心策划,考虑 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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salvation
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| n.(尤指基督)救世,超度,拯救,解困 | |
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feverishly
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| adv. 兴奋地 | |
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rotation
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| n.旋转;循环,轮流 | |
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incipient
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| adj.起初的,发端的,初期的 | |
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atheist
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| n.无神论者 | |
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sanity
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| n.心智健全,神智正常,判断正确 | |
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ailed
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| v.生病( ail的过去式和过去分词 );感到不舒服;处境困难;境况不佳 | |
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tonic
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| n./adj.滋补品,补药,强身的,健体的 | |
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sane
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| adj.心智健全的,神志清醒的,明智的,稳健的 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的,宁静的,平静的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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missionary
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| adj.教会的,传教(士)的;n.传教士 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的,感伤的 | |
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automobile
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| n.汽车,机动车 | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣,不关心,冷淡,不在乎 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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beckoning
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| adj.引诱人的,令人心动的v.(用头或手的动作)示意,召唤( beckon的现在分词 ) | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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gallant
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| adj.英勇的,豪侠的;(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地,严格地;严密地 | |
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savored
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| v.意味,带有…的性质( savor的过去式和过去分词 );给…加调味品;使有风味;品尝 | |
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deception
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| n.欺骗,欺诈;骗局,诡计 | |
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desolate
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| adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂 | |
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longing
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| n.(for)渴望 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解,领悟;逮捕,拘捕;忧虑 | |
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casually
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| adv.漠不关心地,无动于衷地,不负责任地 | |
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muffle
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| v.围裹;抑制;发低沉的声音 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给,授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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dreading
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| v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的现在分词 ) | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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blighted
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| adj.枯萎的,摧毁的 | |
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shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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prettily
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| adv.优美地;可爱地 | |
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racing
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| n.竞赛,赛马;adj.竞赛用的,赛马用的 | |
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bragged
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| v.自夸,吹嘘( brag的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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belongings
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| n.私人物品,私人财物 | |
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rattling
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| adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词 | |
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conceit
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| n.自负,自高自大 | |
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braggadocio
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| n.吹牛大王 | |
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eyebrow
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| n.眉毛,眉 | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦,大楼;宅第 | |
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rendezvous
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| n.约会,约会地点,汇合点;vi.汇合,集合;vt.使汇合,使在汇合地点相遇 | |
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adoration
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| n.爱慕,崇拜 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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maneuvered
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| v.移动,用策略( maneuver的过去式和过去分词 );操纵 | |
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aloofness
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| 超然态度 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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blotting
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| 吸墨水纸 | |
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ascended
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| v.上升,攀登( ascend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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accredited
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| adj.可接受的;可信任的;公认的;质量合格的v.相信( accredit的过去式和过去分词 );委托;委任;把…归结于 | |
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piazza
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| n.广场;走廊 | |
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gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要 | |
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freshman
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| n.大学一年级学生(可兼指男女) | |
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conceited
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| adj.自负的,骄傲自满的 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫,踌躇 | |
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automobiles
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| n.汽车( automobile的名词复数 ) | |
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chauffeurs
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| n.受雇于人的汽车司机( chauffeur的名词复数 ) | |
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awesome
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| adj.令人惊叹的,难得吓人的,很好的 | |
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enchantment
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| n.迷惑,妖术,魅力 | |
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perversely
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| adv. 倔强地 | |
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treatises
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| n.专题著作,专题论文,专著( treatise的名词复数 ) | |
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humdrum
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| adj.单调的,乏味的 | |
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rebellious
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| adj.造反的,反抗的,难控制的 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的,引人注目的 | |
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glorified
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| 美其名的,变荣耀的 | |
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snobbish
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| adj.势利的,谄上欺下的 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单,简易;朴素;直率,单纯 | |
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103
tempted
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| v.怂恿(某人)干不正当的事;冒…的险(tempt的过去分词) | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地 | |
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pretentious
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| adj.自命不凡的,自负的,炫耀的 | |
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shams
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| 假象( sham的名词复数 ); 假货; 虚假的行为(或感情、言语等); 假装…的人 | |
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sham
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| n./adj.假冒(的),虚伪(的) | |
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counterfeits
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| v.仿制,造假( counterfeit的第三人称单数 ) | |
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jauntily
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| adv.心满意足地;洋洋得意地;高兴地;活泼地 | |
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realization
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| n.实现;认识到,深刻了解 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的,使人快乐的 | |
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ascendancy
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| n.统治权,支配力量 | |
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mite
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| n.极小的东西;小铜币 | |
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irritable
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| adj.急躁的;过敏的;易怒的 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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magnetism
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| n.磁性,吸引力,磁学 | |
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flirt
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| v.调情,挑逗,调戏;n.调情者,卖俏者 | |
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flirts
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| v.调情,打情骂俏( flirt的第三人称单数 ) | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地 | |
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debutante
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| n.初入社交界的少女 | |
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impartiality
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| n. 公平, 无私, 不偏 | |
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bestows
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| 赠给,授予( bestow的第三人称单数 ) | |
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unison
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| n.步调一致,行动一致 | |
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aspiration
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| n.志向,志趣抱负;渴望;(语)送气音;吸出 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.(BrE)客厅,起居室 | |
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stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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stammer
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| n.结巴,口吃;v.结结巴巴地说 | |
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panorama
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| n.全景,全景画,全景摄影,全景照片[装置] | |
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dual
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| adj.双的;二重的,二元的 | |
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130
precocious
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| adj.早熟的;较早显出的 | |
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131
reconciliation
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| n.和解,和谐,一致 | |
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132
exclusion
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| n.拒绝,排除,排斥,远足,远途旅行 | |
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133
annoyances
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| n.恼怒( annoyance的名词复数 );烦恼;打扰;使人烦恼的事 | |
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134
stamina
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| n.体力;精力;耐力 | |
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135
slippers
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| n. 拖鞋 | |
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136
scrawl
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| vt.潦草地书写;n.潦草的笔记,涂写 | |
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