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CHAPTER XXVIII IN WHICH I AM LEFT ALONE
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I opened the door to Catriona and stopped her on the threshold.
"Your father wishes us to take our walk," said I.
She looked to James More, who nodded, and at that, like a trained soldier, she turned to go with me.
We took one of our old ways, where we had gone often together, and been more happy than I can tell of in the past. I came a half a step behind, so that I could watch her unobserved. The knocking of her little shoes upon the way sounded extraordinary pretty and sad; and I thought it a strange moment that I should be so near both ends of it at once, and walk in the midst between two destinies, and could not tell whether I was hearing these steps for the last time, or whether the sound of them was to go in and out with me till death should part us.
She avoided even to look at me, only walked before her, like one who had a guess of what was coming. I saw I must speak soon before my courage was run out, but where to begin I knew not. In this painful situation, when the girl was as good as forced into my arms [pg 358]and had already besought1 my forbearance, any excess of pressure must have seemed indecent; yet to avoid it wholly would have a very cold-like appearance. Between these extremes I stood helpless, and could have bit my fingers; so that, when at last I managed to speak at all, it may be said I spoke2 at random3.
"Catriona," said I, "I am in a very painful situation; or rather, so we are both; and I would be a good deal obliged to you if you would promise to let me speak through first of all, and not to interrupt till I have done."
She promised me that simply.
"Well," said I, "this that I have got to say is very difficult, and I know very well I have no right to be saying it. After what passed between the two of us last Friday, I have no manner of right. We have got so ravelled up (and all by my fault) that I know very well the least I could do is just to hold my tongue, which was what I intended fully4, and there was nothing further from my thoughts than to have troubled you again. But, my dear, it has become merely necessary, and no way by it. You see, this estate of mine has fallen in, which makes me rather a better match; and the--the business would not have quite the same ridiculous-like appearance that it would before. Besides which, it's supposed that our affairs have got so much ravelled up (as I was saying) that it would be better to let them be the way they are. In my view, this part of [pg 359]the thing is vastly exaggerate, and if I were you I would not wear two thoughts on it. Only it's right I should mention the same, because there's no doubt it has some influence on James More. Then I think we were none so unhappy when we dwelt together in this town before. I think we did pretty well together. If you would look back, my dear--"
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1
besought
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| v.恳求,乞求(某事物)( beseech的过去式和过去分词 );(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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2
spoke
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| n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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3
random
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| adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的;(指问题等)棘手的;争论不休的问题;烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 );使苦恼;使生气;详细讨论 | |
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6
nought
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| n./adj.无,零 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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repayment
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| n.偿还,偿还款;报酬 | |
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9
decency
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| n.体面,得体,合宜,正派,庄重 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激,感谢 | |
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penitence
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| n.忏悔,赎罪;悔过 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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gull
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| n.鸥;受骗的人;v.欺诈 | |
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malevolence
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| n.恶意,狠毒 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情,性格;意向,倾向;排列,部署 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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pompous
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| adj.傲慢的,自大的;夸大的;豪华的 | |
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18
swell
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| vi.膨胀,肿胀;增长,增强 | |
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19
ingratitude
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| n.忘恩负义 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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outraged
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| a.震惊的,义愤填膺的 | |
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23
generosity
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| n.大度,慷慨,慷慨的行为 | |
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insufficient
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| adj.(for,of)不足的,不够的 | |
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blustering
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| adj.狂风大作的,狂暴的v.外强中干的威吓( bluster的现在分词 );咆哮;(风)呼啸;狂吹 | |
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stipend
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| n.薪贴;奖学金;养老金 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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chamber
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| n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 );(议会的)议院;卧室;会议厅 | |
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30
purged
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| 清除(政敌等)( purge的过去式和过去分词 ); 涤除(罪恶等); 净化(心灵、风气等); 消除(错事等)的不良影响 | |
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31
scarlet
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| n.深红色,绯红色,红衣;adj.绯红色的 | |
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taper
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| n.小蜡烛,尖细,渐弱;adj.尖细的;v.逐渐变小 | |
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33
chattering
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| n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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bestow
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| v.把…赠与,把…授予;花费 | |
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neatly
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| adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地 | |
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hue
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| n.色度;色调;样子 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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