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September 9th.
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MY DEAREST BARBARA ALEXIEVNA,—I am beside myself as I take up my pen, for a most terrible thing has happened. My head is whirling round. Ah, beloved, how am I to tell you about it all? I had never foreseen what has happened. But no—I cannot say that I had NEVER foreseen it, for my mind DID get an inkling of what was coming, through my seeing something very similar to it in a dream.
I will tell you the whole story—simply, and as God may put it into my heart. Today I went to the office as usual, and, upon arrival, sat down to write. You must know that I had been engaged on the same sort of work yesterday, and that, while executing it, I had been approached by Timothei Ivanovitch with an urgent request for a particular document. “Makar Alexievitch,” he had said, “pray copy this out for me. Copy it as quickly and as carefully as you can, for it will require to be signed today.” Also let me tell you, dearest, that yesterday I had not been feeling myself, nor able to look at anything. I had been troubled with grave depression—my breast had felt chilled, and my head clouded. All the while I had been thinking of you, my darling. Well, I set to work upon the copying, and executed it cleanly and well, except for the fact that, whether the devil confused my mind, or a mysterious fate so ordained1, or the occurrence was simply bound to happen, I left out a whole line of the document, and thus made nonsense of it! The work had been given me too late for signature last night, so it went before his Excellency this morning. I reached the office at my usual hour, and sat down beside Emelia Ivanovitch. Here I may remark that for a long time past I have been feeling twice as shy and diffident as I used to do; I have been finding it impossible to look people in the face. Let only a chair creak, and I become more dead than alive. Today, therefore, I crept humbly2 to my seat and sat down in such a crouching3 posture4 that Efim Akimovitch (the most touchy5 man in the world) said to me sotto voce: “What on earth makes you sit like that, Makar Alexievitch?” Then he pulled such a grimace
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1
ordained
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v.任命(某人)为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 );授予(某人)圣职;(上帝、法律等)命令;判定 | |
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2
humbly
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adv. 恭顺地,谦卑地 | |
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3
crouching
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v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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4
posture
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n.姿势,姿态,心态,态度;v.作出某种姿势 | |
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5
touchy
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adj.易怒的;棘手的 | |
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6
grimace
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v.做鬼脸,面部歪扭 | |
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7
bustle
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v.喧扰地忙乱,匆忙,奔忙;n.忙碌;喧闹 | |
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8
commotion
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n.骚动,动乱 | |
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9
peremptory
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adj.紧急的,专横的,断然的 | |
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10
standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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11
salute
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vi.行礼,致意,问候,放礼炮;vt.向…致意,迎接,赞扬;n.招呼,敬礼,礼炮 | |
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12
chattering
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n. (机器振动发出的)咔嗒声,(鸟等)鸣,啁啾 adj. 喋喋不休的,啾啾声的 动词chatter的现在分词形式 | |
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13
comport
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vi.相称,适合 | |
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14
intercourse
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n.性交;交流,交往,交际 | |
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15
exclamations
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n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 );感叹;感叹语;感叹词 | |
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16
negligence
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n.疏忽,玩忽,粗心大意 | |
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17
hopped
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跳上[下]( hop的过去式和过去分词 ); 单足蹦跳; 齐足(或双足)跳行; 摘葎草花 | |
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18
rattled
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慌乱的,恼火的 | |
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19
shudder
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v.战粟,震动,剧烈地摇晃;n.战粟,抖动 | |
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20
drawn
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v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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21
obstinacy
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n.顽固;(病痛等)难治 | |
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22
ragged
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adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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23
dispersed
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adj. 被驱散的, 被分散的, 散布的 | |
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24
distress
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n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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25
abasement
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n.滥用 | |
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almighty
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adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
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ascend
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vi.渐渐上升,升高;vt.攀登,登上 | |
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28
agitated
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adj.被鼓动的,不安的 | |
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29
landlady
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n.女房东,女地主 | |
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30
sobbing
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<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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31
steadfast
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adj.固定的,不变的,不动摇的;忠实的;坚贞不移的 | |
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September 10th.
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