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CHAPTER VIII
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The older members of the firm insisted that Anson should go abroad for the summer. He had scarcely had a vacation in seven years, they said. He was stale and needed a change. Anson resisted.
"If I go," he declared, "I won't come back any more."
"That's absurd, old man. You'll be back in three months with all this depression gone. Fit as ever."
"No." He shook his head stubbornly. "If I stop, I won't go back to work. If I stop, that means I've given up—I'm through."
"We'll take a chance on that. Stay six months if you like—we're not afraid you'll leave us. Why, you'd be miserable1 if you didn't work."
They arranged his passage for him. They liked Anson—every one liked Anson—and the change that had been coming over him cast a sort of pall2 over the office. The enthusiasm that had invariably signalled up business, the consideration toward his equals and his inferiors, the lift of his vital presence—within the past four months his intense nervousness had melted down these qualities into the fussy3 pessimism4 of a man of forty. On every transaction in which he was involved he acted as a drag and a strain.
"If I go I'll never come back," he said.
Three days before he sailed Paula Legendre Hagerty died in childbirth. I was with him a great deal then, for we were crossing together, but for the first time in our friendship he told me not a word of how he felt, nor did I see the slightest sign of emotion. His chief preoccupation was with the fact that he was thirty years old—he would turn the conversation to the point where he could remind you of it and then fall silent, as if he assumed that the statement would start a chain of thought sufficient to itself. Like his partners, I was amazed at the change in him, and I was glad when the Paris moved off into the wet space between the worlds, leaving his principality behind.
"How about a drink?" he suggested.
We walked into the bar with that defiant5
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1
miserable
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adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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2
pall
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v.覆盖,使平淡无味;n.柩衣,棺罩;棺材;帷幕 | |
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3
fussy
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adj.为琐事担忧的,过分装饰的,爱挑剔的 | |
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4
pessimism
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n.悲观者,悲观主义者,厌世者 | |
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5
defiant
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adj.无礼的,挑战的 | |
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6
cocktail
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n.鸡尾酒;餐前开胃小吃;混合物 | |
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7
joviality
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n.快活 | |
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8
steward
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n.乘务员,服务员;看管人;膳食管理员 | |
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9
anticipation
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n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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10
champagne
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n.香槟酒;微黄色 | |
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helping
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n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的 | |
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12
promising
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adj.有希望的,有前途的 | |
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CHAPTER VII
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WINTER DREAMS I
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