Mr Wormwood, the Great Car Dealer¹
Matilda's parents owned quite a nice house with three bedrooms upstairs, while on the ground
floor there was a dining-room and a living-room and a kitchen. Her father was a dealer in second-
hand cars and it seemed he did pretty well at it.
"Sawdust", he would say proudly, "is one of the great secrets of my success. And it costs me
nothing. I get it free from the sawmill."
"What do you use it for?" Matilda asked him.
"Ha!" the father said. "Wouldn't you like to know."
"I don't see how sawdust can help you to sell second-hand² cars, daddy."
"That's because you're an ignorant little twit," the father said. His speech was never very delicate
but Matilda was used to it. She also knew that he liked to boast and she would egg him on
shamelessly.
"You must be very clever to find a use for something that costs nothing," she said. "I wish I could
do it."
"You couldn't," the father said. "You're too stupid. But I don't mind telling young Mike here about
it seeing he'll be joining me in the business one day." Ignoring Matilda, he turned to his son and
said, "I'm always glad to buy a car when some fool has been crashing the gears so badly they're all
worn out and rattle³ like mad. I get it cheap. Then all I do is mix a lot of sawdust with the oil in the
gear-box and it runs as sweet as a nut."
"How long will it run like that before it starts rattling⁴ again?" Matilda asked him.
"Long enough for the buyer to get a good distance away," the father said, grinning. "About a
hundred miles."
"But that's dishonest, daddy," Matilda said. "It's cheating."
"No one ever got rich being honest," the father said. "Customers are there to be diddled."
Mr Wormwood was a small ratty-looking man whose front teeth stuck out underneath⁵ a thin ratty
moustache. He liked to wear jackets with large brightly-coloured checks and he sported ties that
were usually yellow or pale green. "Now take

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