The Ancient Ones
The Grand High Witch stood on the very centre of the platform, and those dangerous eyes of
hers travelled slowly around the audience of witches who were sitting so meekly¹ before her. "All
those over seventy put up your hands!" she barked suddenly.
Seven or eight hands went up in the air.
"It comes to me", said The Grand High Witch, "that you ancient vuns vill not be able to climb
high trrrees in search of grrruntles' eggs."
"We won't, Your Grandness! We are afraid we won't!" chanted the ancient ones.
"Nor vill you be able to catch the crrrabcrrruncher, who lives high up on rrrocky cliffs," The
Grand High Witch went on. "I can't exactly see you sprrrinting after the speedy catsprrringer either,
or diving into deep vorters to spear the blabbersnitch, or striding the bleak² moors³ vith a gun under
your arm to shoot the grrrobblesqvirt. You are too old and feeble for those things."
"We are," chanted the ancient ones. "We are! We are!"
"You ancient vuns have served me vell over many years," said The Grand High Witch, "and I
do not vish to deny you the pleasure of bumping off a few thousand children each just because you
have become old and feeble. I have therefore prepared personally vith my own hands a limited
quantity of Delayed Action Mouse-Maker which I will distrrribute to the ancient vuns before you
leave the hotel."
"Oh, thank you, thank you!" cried the old witches. "You are far too good to us, Your
Grandness! You are so kind and thoughtful!"
"Here is a sample of vot I am giving you," shouted The Grand High Witch. She fished around
in a pocket of her dress and brought out a very small bottle. She held it up and shouted, "In this tiny
bottle is five hundred doses of Mouse-Maker! Is enough to turrrn five hundred children into mice!" I
could see that the bottle was made of dark-blue glass and that it was very small, about the same size
as the ones you can buy at the chemist with nose-drops in them. "Each of you ancient vuns vill get
two of these bottles!" she shouted.
"Thank you, thank you, O Most Generous and Thoughtful One!" chorused the ancient
witches. "Not one drop will be wasted! Each of us will promise to squish and squallop and squiggle
one thousand children!"

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