After this crisis Maurice became a man. Hitherto—if human beings can be estimated—he had not been worth anyone's affection, but conventional, petty, treacherous¹ to others, because to himself. Now he had the highest gift to offer. The idealism and the brutality² that ran through boyhood had joined at last, and twined into love. No one might want such love, but he could not feel ashamed of it, because it was "he," neither body or soul, nor body and soul, but "he" working through both. He still suffered, yet a sense of triumph had come elsewhere. Pain had shown him a niche³ behind the world's judge-ments, whither he could withdraw.

There was still much to learn, and years passed before he ex-plored certain abysses in his being—horrible enough they were. But he discovered the method and looked no more at scratches in the sand. He had awoken too late for happiness, but not for strength, and could feel an austere⁴ joy, as of a warrior⁵ who is homeless but stands fully⁶ armed.

As the term went on he decided⁷ to speak to Durham. He valued words highly, having so lately discovered them. Why should he suffer and cause his friend suffering, when words might put all right? He heard himself saying, "I really love you as you love me," and Durham replying, "Is that so? Then I for-give you," and to the ardour of youth such a conversation seemed possible, though somehow he did not conceive it as leading to

joy. He made several attempts, but partly through his own shy-ness, partly through Durham's, they failed. If he went round, the door was sported, or else there were people inside; should he enter, Durham left when the other guests did. He invited him to meals—he could never come; he offered to lift him again for tennis, but an excuse was made. Even if they met in the court, Durham would affect to have forgotten something and run past him or away. He was surprised their friends did not notice the change, but few undergraduates are observant—they have too much to discover within themselves and it was a don who re-marked that Durham had stopped

点击收听单词发音  

1 treacherous
adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的
参考例句：
The surface water made the road treacherous for drivers.路面的积水对驾车者构成危险。 The frozen snow was treacherous to walk on.在冻雪上行走有潜在危险。

2 brutality
n.野蛮的行为，残忍，野蛮
参考例句：
The brutality of the crime has appalled the public. 罪行之残暴使公众大为震惊。 a general who was infamous for his brutality 因残忍而恶名昭彰的将军

3 niche
n.壁龛；合适的职务(环境、位置等)
参考例句：
Madeleine placed it carefully in the rocky niche. 玛德琳小心翼翼地把它放在岩石壁龛里。 The really talented among women would always make their own niche.妇女中真正有才能的人总是各得其所。

4 austere
adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的
参考例句：
His way of life is rather austere.他的生活方式相当简朴。 The room was furnished in austere style.这间屋子的陈设都很简单朴素。

5 warrior
n.勇士，武士，斗士
参考例句：
The young man is a bold warrior.这个年轻人是个很英勇的武士。 A true warrior values glory and honor above life.一个真正的勇士珍视荣誉胜过生命。

6 fully
adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
参考例句：
The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。 They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。

7 decided
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。 There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

8 honeymooning
度蜜月（honeymoon的现在分词形式）
参考例句：
They are honeymooning in Paris. 他们正在巴黎度蜜月。 They are honeymooning in Europe. 他们去欧洲渡蜜月。

9 utterly
adv.完全地，绝对地
参考例句：
Utterly devoted to the people,he gave his life in saving his patients.他忠于人民，把毕生精力用于挽救患者的生命。 I was utterly ravished by the way she smiled.她的微笑使我完全陶醉了。

10 blurted
v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句：
She blurted it out before I could stop her. 我还没来得及制止，她已脱口而出。 He blurted out the truth, that he committed the crime. 他不慎说出了真相，说是他犯了那个罪。 来自《简明英汉词典》

11 thoroughly
adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地
参考例句：
The soil must be thoroughly turned over before planting.一定要先把土地深翻一遍再下种。 The soldiers have been thoroughly instructed in the care of their weapons.士兵们都系统地接受过保护武器的训练。

12 friendliness
n.友谊，亲切，亲密
参考例句：
Behind the mask of friendliness,I know he really dislikes me.在友善的面具后面，我知道他其实并不喜欢我。 His manner was a blend of friendliness and respect.他的态度友善且毕恭毕敬。

13 lasting
adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持
参考例句：
The lasting war debased the value of the dollar.持久的战争使美元贬值。 We hope for a lasting settlement of all these troubles.我们希望这些纠纷能获得永久的解决。

14 deserted
adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的
参考例句：
The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。 The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。

15 grotesque
adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物）
参考例句：
His face has a grotesque appearance.他的面部表情十分怪。 Her account of the incident was a grotesque distortion of the truth.她对这件事的陈述是荒诞地歪曲了事实。

16 secreted
v.（尤指动物或植物器官）分泌( secrete的过去式和过去分词 )；隐匿，隐藏
参考例句：
Insulin is secreted by the pancreas. 胰岛素是胰腺分泌的。 He secreted his winnings in a drawer. 他把赢来的钱藏在抽届里。 来自《简明英汉词典》

17 enraged
使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤
参考例句：
I was enraged to find they had disobeyed my orders. 发现他们违抗了我的命令，我极为恼火。 The judge was enraged and stroke the table for several times. 大法官被气得连连拍案。

18 savage
adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人
参考例句：
The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。 He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。

19 drenched
adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体）
参考例句：
We were caught in the storm and got drenched to the skin. 我们遇上了暴雨，淋得浑身透湿。 The rain drenched us. 雨把我们淋得湿透。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 glimmer
v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光
参考例句：
I looked at her and felt a glimmer of hope.我注视她，感到了一线希望。 A glimmer of amusement showed in her eyes.她的眼中露出一丝笑意。