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Chapter 13
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“All of us, men and women, are brought up in these aberrations1 of feeling that we call love. I from childhood had prepared myself for this thing, and I loved, and I loved during all my youth, and I was joyous2 in loving. It had been put into my head that it was the noblest and highest occupation in the world. But when this expected feeling came at last, and I, a man, abandoned myself to it, the lie was pierced through and through. Theoretically a lofty love is conceivable; practically it is an ignoble3 and degrading thing, which it is equally disgusting to talk about and to remember. It is not in vain that nature has made ceremonies, but people pretend that the ignoble and the shameful4 is beautiful and lofty.
“I will tell you brutally5 and briefly6 what were the first signs of my love. I abandoned myself to beastly excesses, not only not ashamed of them, but proud of them, giving no thought to the intellectual life of my wife. And not only did I not think of her intellectual life, I did not even consider her physical life.
I was astonished at the origin of our hostility7, and yet how clear it was! This hostility is nothing but a protest of human nature against the beast that enslaves it. It could not be otherwise. This hatred8 was the hatred of accomplices9 in a crime. Was it not a crime that, this poor woman having become pregnant in the first month, our liaison10 should have continued just the same?
“You imagine that I am wandering from my story. Not at all. I am always giving you an account of the events that led to the murder of my wife. The imbeciles! They think that I killed my wife on the 5th of October. It was long before that that I
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1
aberrations
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n.偏差( aberration的名词复数 );差错;脱离常规;心理失常 | |
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2
joyous
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adj.充满快乐的;令人高兴的 | |
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3
ignoble
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adj.不光彩的,卑鄙的;可耻的 | |
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4
shameful
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adj.可耻的,不道德的 | |
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5
brutally
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adv.残忍地,野蛮地,冷酷无情地 | |
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6
briefly
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adv.简单地,简短地 | |
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7
hostility
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n.敌对,敌意;抵制[pl.]交战,战争 | |
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8
hatred
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n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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9
accomplices
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从犯,帮凶,同谋( accomplice的名词复数 ) | |
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10
liaison
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n.联系,(未婚男女间的)暖昧关系,私通 | |
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immolated
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v.宰杀…作祭品( immolate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12
procures
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v.(努力)取得, (设法)获得( procure的第三人称单数 );拉皮条 | |
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13
vice
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n.坏事;恶习;[pl.]台钳,老虎钳;adj.副的 | |
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14
enjoyment
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n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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diabolical
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adj.恶魔似的,凶暴的 | |
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morsel
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n.一口,一点点 | |
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17
knights
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骑士; (中古时代的)武士( knight的名词复数 ); 骑士; 爵士; (国际象棋中)马 | |
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esteem
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n.尊敬,尊重;vt.尊重,敬重;把…看作 | |
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remains
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n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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utilization
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n.利用,效用 | |
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labor
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n.劳动,努力,工作,劳工;分娩;vi.劳动,努力,苦干;vt.详细分析;麻烦 | |
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unwilling
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adj.不情愿的 | |
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thereby
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adv.因此,从而 | |
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emancipation
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n.(从束缚、支配下)解放 | |
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entirely
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ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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infancy
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n.婴儿期;幼年期;初期 | |
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humiliated
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感到羞愧的 | |
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corrupt
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v.贿赂,收买;adj.腐败的,贪污的 | |
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chamber
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n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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rascally
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adj. 无赖的,恶棍的 adv. 无赖地,卑鄙地 | |
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descend
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vt./vi.传下来,下来,下降 | |
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hysterical
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adj.情绪异常激动的,歇斯底里般的 | |
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embarrassment
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n.尴尬;使人为难的人(事物);障碍;窘迫 | |
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witchcraft
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n.魔法,巫术 | |
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abasement
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n.滥用 | |
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gestation
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n.怀孕;酝酿 | |
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thwarted
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阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 ); 使受挫折; 挫败; 横过 | |
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frightful
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adj.可怕的;讨厌的 | |
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fattening
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adj.(食物)要使人发胖的v.喂肥( fatten的现在分词 );养肥(牲畜);使(钱)增多;使(公司)升值 | |
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devour
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v.吞没;贪婪地注视或谛听,贪读;使着迷 | |
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opium
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n.鸦片;adj.鸦片的 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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rascals
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流氓( rascal的名词复数 ); 无赖; (开玩笑说法)淘气的人(尤指小孩); 恶作剧的人 | |
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Chapter 12
下一章:
Chapter 14
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