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Showing what Rachel Thought when she Sat on the Stile, and How she Wrote Her Letter Afterwards
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Rachel, as soon as she had made her mother the promise that she would write the letter, left the parlour and went up to her own room. She had many thoughts to adjust in her mind which could not be adjusted satisfactorily otherwise than in solitude1, and it was clearly necessary that they should be adjusted before she could write her letter. It must be remembered, not only that she had never before written a letter to a lover, but that she had never before written a letter of importance to anyone. She had threatened at one moment that she would leave the writing of it to her mother; but there came upon her a feeling, of which she was hardly conscious, that she herself might probably compose the letter in a strain of higher dignity than her mother would be likely to adopt. That her lover would be gone from her for ever she felt almost assured; but still it would be much to her that, on going, he should so leave her that his respect might remain, though his love would be a thing of the past. In her estimation he was a noble being, to have been loved by whom even for a few days was more honour than she had ever hoped to win. For a few days she had been allowed to think that her great fortune intended him to be her husband. But Fate had interposed, and now she feared that all her joy was at an end. But her joy should be so relinquished3 that she herself should not be disgraced in the giving of it up. She sat there alone for an hour, and was stronger, when that hour was over, than she had been when she left her mother. Her pride had supported her, and had been sufficient for her support in that first hour of her sorrow. It is ever so with us in our misery4. In the first flush of our wretchedness, let the outward signs of our grief be what they may, we promise to ourselves the support of some inner strength which shall suffice to us at any rate as against the eyes of the outer world. But anon, and that inner staff fails us; our pride yields to our tears; our dignity is crushed beneath the load with which we have burdened it, and then with loud wailings we own ourselves to be the wretches5 which we are. But now Rachel was in the hour of her pride, and as she came down from her room she resolved that her sorrow should be buried in her own bosom6. She had known what it was to love — had known it, perhaps, for one whole week — and now that knowledge was never to avail her again. Among them all she had been robbed of her sweetheart. She had been bidden to give her heart to this man — her heart and hand; and now, when she had given all her heart, she was bidden to refuse her hand. She had not ventured to love till her love had been sanctioned. It had been sanctioned, and she had loved; and now that sanction was
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1
solitude
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n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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2
omen
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n.征兆,预兆;vt.预示 | |
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3
relinquished
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交出,让给( relinquish的过去式和过去分词 ); 放弃 | |
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4
misery
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n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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5
wretches
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n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 );可怜的人;恶棍;坏蛋 | |
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6
bosom
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n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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7
withdrawn
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vt.收回;使退出;vi.撤退,退出 | |
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8
maiden
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n.少女,处女;adj.未婚的,纯洁的,无经验的 | |
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9
rebuke
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v.指责,非难,斥责 [反]praise | |
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10
rebuked
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责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11
acceding
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v.(正式)加入( accede的现在分词 );答应;(通过财产的添附而)增加;开始任职 | |
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12
lodgings
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n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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13
sitting-room
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n.(BrE)客厅,起居室 | |
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14
pucker
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v.撅起,使起皱;n.(衣服上的)皱纹,褶子 | |
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15
countenance
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n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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16
sniff
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vi.嗅…味道;抽鼻涕;对嗤之以鼻,蔑视 | |
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17
spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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18
intonation
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n.语调,声调;发声 | |
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19
sniffed
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v.以鼻吸气,嗅,闻( sniff的过去式和过去分词 );抽鼻子(尤指哭泣、患感冒等时出声地用鼻子吸气);抱怨,不以为然地说 | |
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20
nostrils
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鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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21
esteemed
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adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 );敬重;认为;以为 | |
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22
abstained
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v.戒(尤指酒),戒除( abstain的过去式和过去分词 );弃权(不投票) | |
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23
horrid
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adj.可怕的;令人惊恐的;恐怖的;极讨厌的 | |
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squinting
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斜视( squint的现在分词 ); 眯着眼睛; 瞟; 从小孔或缝隙里看 | |
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bonnet
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n.无边女帽;童帽 | |
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brewery
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n.啤酒厂 | |
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ponies
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矮种马,小型马( pony的名词复数 ); £25 25 英镑 | |
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postpone
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v.延期,推迟 | |
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29
pony
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adj.小型的;n.小马 | |
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allusion
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n.暗示,间接提示 | |
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determined
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adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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perverse
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adj.刚愎的;坚持错误的,行为反常的 | |
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wont
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adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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thither
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adv.向那里;adj.在那边的,对岸的 | |
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trifling
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adj.微不足道的;没什么价值的 | |
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friendliness
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n.友谊,亲切,亲密 | |
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subduing
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征服( subdue的现在分词 ); 克制; 制服; 色变暗 | |
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unwillingness
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n. 不愿意,不情愿 | |
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wondrous
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adj.令人惊奇的,奇妙的;adv.惊人地;异乎寻常地;令人惊叹地 | |
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manly
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adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地 | |
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obedience
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n.服从,顺从 | |
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virgin
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n.处女,未婚女子;adj.未经使用的;未经开发的 | |
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modesty
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n.谦逊,虚心,端庄,稳重,羞怯,朴素 | |
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armour
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(=armor)n.盔甲;装甲部队 | |
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malignant
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adj.恶性的,致命的;恶意的,恶毒的 | |
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46
virtue
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n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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amazement
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n.惊奇,惊讶 | |
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48
deserted
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adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的 | |
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49
jot
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n.少量;vi.草草记下;vt.匆匆写下 | |
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irrelevant
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adj.不恰当的,无关系的,不相干的 | |
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51
embargo
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n.禁运(令);vt.对...实行禁运,禁止(通商) | |
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52
withdrawal
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n.取回,提款;撤退,撤军;收回,撤销 | |
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pastors
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n.(基督教的)牧师( pastor的名词复数 ) | |
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54
pliable
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adj.易受影响的;易弯的;柔顺的,易驾驭的 | |
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55
gutter
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n.沟,街沟,水槽,檐槽,贫民窟 | |
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56
forth
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adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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plight
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n.困境,境况,誓约,艰难;vt.宣誓,保证,约定 | |
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knight
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n.骑士,武士;爵士 | |
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59
conspicuous
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adj.明眼的,惹人注目的;炫耀的,摆阔气的 | |
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60
vexed
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adj.争论不休的;(指问题等)棘手的;争论不休的问题;烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 );使苦恼;使生气;详细讨论 | |
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61
thoroughly
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adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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62
sufficiently
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adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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doctrine
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n.教义;主义;学说 | |
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stoutly
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adv.牢固地,粗壮的 | |
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chamber
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n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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inspection
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n.检查,审查,检阅 | |
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fixed
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adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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68
bind
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vt.捆,包扎;装订;约束;使凝固;vi.变硬 | |
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sobbing
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<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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bent
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n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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71
kindly
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adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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demurred
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v.表示异议,反对( demur的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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sundry
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adj.各式各样的,种种的 | |
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expunged
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v.擦掉( expunge的过去式和过去分词 );除去;删去;消除 | |
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