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Chapter IX
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1
The day had ended with a catastrophe1, there remained the night, and this is what I remember of that night.
I believe it was one o’clock when I found myself in the street. It was a clear, still and frosty night, I was almost running and in horrible haste, but — not towards home.
“Why home? Can there be a home now? Home is where one lives, I shall wake up to-morrow to live — but is that possible now? Life is over, it is utterly2 impossible to live now,” I thought.
And as I wandered about the streets, not noticing where I was going, and indeed I don’t know whether I meant to run anywhere in particular, I was very hot and I was continually flinging open my heavy raccoon-lined coat. “No sort of action can have any object for me now” was what I felt at that moment. And strange to say, it seemed to me that everything about me, even the air I breathed, was from another planet, as though I had suddenly found myself in the moon. Everything — the town, the passers-by, the pavement I was running on — all of these were NOT MINE. “This is the Palace Square, and here is St. Isaak’s,” floated across my mind. “But now I have nothing to do with them.” Everything had become suddenly remote, it had all suddenly become NOT MINE. “I have mother and Liza — but what are mother and Liza to me now? Everything is over, everything is over at one blow, except one thing: that I am a thief for ever.”
“How can I prove that I’m not a thief? Is it possible now? Shall I go to America? What should I prove by that? Versilov will be the first to believe I stole it! My ‘idea’? What idea? What is my ‘idea’ now? If I go on for fifty years, for a hundred years, some one will always turn up, to point at me and say: ‘He’s a thief, he began, “his idea” by stealing money at roulette.’”
Was there resentment4 in my heart? I don’t know, perhaps there was. Strange to say, I always had, perhaps from my earliest childhood, one characteristic: if I were ill-treated, absolutely wronged and insulted to the last degree, I always showed at once an irresistible5 desire to submit passively to the insult, and even to accept more than my assailant wanted to
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catastrophe
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n.大灾难,大祸 | |
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utterly
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adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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par
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n.标准,票面价值,平均数量;adj.票面的,平常的,标准的 | |
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resentment
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n.怨愤,忿恨 | |
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irresistible
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adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
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inflict
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vt.(on)把…强加给,使遭受,使承担 | |
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humiliate
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v.使羞辱,使丢脸[同]disgrace | |
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humiliated
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感到羞愧的 | |
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lackey
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n.侍从;跟班 | |
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promptly
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adv.及时地,敏捷地 | |
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speck
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n.微粒,小污点,小斑点 | |
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fully
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adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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perfectly
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adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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hatred
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n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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frenzy
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n.疯狂,狂热,极度的激动 | |
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incapable
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adj.无能力的,不能做某事的 | |
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delirious
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adj.不省人事的,神智昏迷的 | |
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devoid
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adj.全无的,缺乏的 | |
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logic
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n.逻辑(学);逻辑性 | |
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absurdity
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n.荒谬,愚蠢;谬论 | |
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hovering
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鸟( hover的现在分词 ); 靠近(某事物); (人)徘徊; 犹豫 | |
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pang
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n.剧痛,悲痛,苦闷 | |
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annihilate
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v.使无效;毁灭;取消 | |
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longing
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n.(for)渴望 | |
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standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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projection
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n.发射,计划,突出部分 | |
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enjoyment
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n.乐趣;享有;享用 | |
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catching
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adj.易传染的,有魅力的,迷人的,接住 | |
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backwards
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adv.往回地,向原处,倒,相反,前后倒置地 | |
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unbearably
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adv.不能忍受地,无法容忍地;慌 | |
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gateway
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n.大门口,出入口,途径,方法 | |
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crouching
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v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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huddled
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挤在一起(huddle的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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recess
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n.短期休息,壁凹(墙上装架子,柜子等凹处) | |
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doze
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v.打瞌睡;n.打盹,假寐 | |
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steadily
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adv.稳定地;不变地;持续地 | |
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melodious
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adj.旋律美妙的,调子优美的,音乐性的 | |
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reign
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n.统治时期,统治,支配,盛行;v.占优势 | |
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domes
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n.圆屋顶( dome的名词复数 );像圆屋顶一样的东西;圆顶体育场 | |
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slanting
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倾斜的,歪斜的 | |
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solely
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adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
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Undid
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v. 解开, 复原 | |
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constrained
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adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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vexed
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adj.争论不休的;(指问题等)棘手的;争论不休的问题;烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 );使苦恼;使生气;详细讨论 | |
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flick
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n.快速的轻打,轻打声,弹开;v.轻弹,轻轻拂去,忽然摇动 | |
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taunts
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嘲弄的言语,嘲笑,奚落( taunt的名词复数 ) | |
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furrows
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n.犁沟( furrow的名词复数 );(脸上的)皱纹v.犁田,开沟( furrow的第三人称单数 ) | |
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condescension
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n.自以为高人一等,贬低(别人) | |
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attaining
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(通常经过努力)实现( attain的现在分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
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minced
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v.切碎( mince的过去式和过去分词 );剁碎;绞碎;用绞肉机绞(食物,尤指肉) | |
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jeering
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adj.嘲弄的,揶揄的v.嘲笑( jeer的现在分词 ) | |
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auxiliary
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adj.辅助的,备用的 | |
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monotonous
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adj.单调的,一成不变的,使人厌倦的 | |
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sedately
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adv.镇静地,安详地 | |
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reverent
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adj.恭敬的,虔诚的 | |
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orphan
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n.孤儿;adj.无父母的 | |
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gentry
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n.绅士阶级,上层阶级 | |
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softened
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(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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humanely
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adv.仁慈地;人道地;富人情地;慈悲地 | |
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untying
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untie的现在分词 | |
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untied
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松开,解开( untie的过去式和过去分词 ); 解除,使自由; 解决 | |
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shuddered
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v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动 | |
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devoured
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吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 ); 耗尽; 津津有味地看; 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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tarts
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n.果馅饼( tart的名词复数 );轻佻的女人;妓女;小妞 | |
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sustenance
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n.食物,粮食;生活资料;生计 | |
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melancholy
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n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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rummaging
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翻找,搜寻( rummage的现在分词 ); 海关检查 | |
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creases
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(使…)起折痕,弄皱( crease的第三人称单数 ); (皮肤)皱起,使起皱纹 | |
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vice
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n.坏事;恶习;[pl.]台钳,老虎钳;adj.副的 | |
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brigands
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n.土匪,强盗( brigand的名词复数 ) | |
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unbearable
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adj.不能容忍的;忍受不住的 | |
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grumbled
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抱怨( grumble的过去式和过去分词 ); 发牢骚; 咕哝; 发哼声 | |
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thumped
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v.重击, (指心脏)急速跳动( thump的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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glistening
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adj.闪耀的,反光的v.湿物闪耀,闪亮( glisten的现在分词 ) | |
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numb
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adj.麻木的,失去感觉的;v.使麻木 | |
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ribs
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n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 );(船或屋顶等的)肋拱;肋骨状的东西;(织物的)凸条花纹 | |
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sable
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n.黑貂;adj.黑色的 | |
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foppish
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adj.矫饰的,浮华的 | |
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bent
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n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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babbled
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v.喋喋不休( babble的过去式和过去分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密 | |
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pounced
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v.突然袭击( pounce的过去式和过去分词 );猛扑;一眼看出;抓住机会(进行抨击) | |
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attentively
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adv.聚精会神地;周到地;谛;凝神 | |
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sledge
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n.雪橇,大锤;v.用雪橇搬运,坐雪橇往 | |
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miraculous
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adj.像奇迹一样的,不可思议的 | |
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divination
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n.占卜,预测 | |
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presentiment
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n.预感,预觉 | |
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lodgings
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n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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unpacked
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v.从(包裹等)中取出(所装的东西),打开行李取出( unpack的过去式和过去分词 );拆包;解除…的负担;吐露(心事等) | |
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concealed
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a.隐藏的,隐蔽的 | |
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spoke
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n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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theatrical
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adj.剧场的,演戏的;做戏似的,做作的 | |
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entirely
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ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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sipped
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v.小口喝,呷,抿( sip的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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babbling
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n.胡说,婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密 | |
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intervals
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n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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sufficiently
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adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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drawn
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v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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lighting
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n.照明,光线的明暗,舞台灯光 | |
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intelligibly
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adv.可理解地,明了地,清晰地 | |
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consecutively
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adv.连续地 | |
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risky
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adj.有风险的,冒险的 | |
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tout
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v.推销,招徕;兜售;吹捧,劝诱 | |
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miserable
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adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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incessantly
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ad.不停地 | |
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sobbed
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哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说 | |
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syllable
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n.音节;vt.分音节 | |
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positively
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adv.明确地,断然,坚决地;实在,确实 | |
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yelped
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v.发出短而尖的叫声( yelp的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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vigilant
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adj.警觉的,警戒的,警惕的 | |
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assented
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同意,赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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flickered
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(通常指灯光)闪烁,摇曳( flicker的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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lucidity
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n.明朗,清晰,透明 | |
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soothe
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v.安慰;使平静;使减轻;缓和;奉承 | |
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quenched
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解(渴)( quench的过去式和过去分词 ); 终止(某事物); (用水)扑灭(火焰等); 将(热物体)放入水中急速冷却 | |
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prostrate
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v.拜倒,平卧,衰竭;adj.拜倒的,平卧的,衰竭的 | |
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innocence
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n.无罪;天真;无害 | |
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joyful
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adj.欢乐的,令人欢欣的 | |
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regained
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复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 ); 赢回; 重回; 复至某地 | |
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gambling
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n.赌博;投机 | |
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regiment
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n.团,多数,管理;v.组织,编成团,统制 | |
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eternity
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n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
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acting
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n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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testament
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n.遗嘱;证明 | |
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confession
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n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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Chapter VIII
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Part III Chapter I
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