Horncastle Fair

It had been my intention to be up and doing early on the following morning, but my slumbers¹ proved so profound, that I did not wake until about eight; on arising, I again found myself the sole occupant of the apartment, my more alert companion having probably risen at a much earlier hour. Having dressed myself, I descended², and going to the stable, found my horse under the hands of my friend the ostler, who was carefully rubbing him down. ‘There ain’t a better horse in the fair,’ said he to me, ‘and as you are one of us, and appear to be all right, I’ll give you a piece of advice — don’t take less than a hundred and fifty for him; if you mind your hits, you may get it, for I have known two hundred given in this fair for one no better, if so good.’ ‘Well,’ said I, ‘thank you for your advice, which I will take, and, if successful, will give you “summut” handsome.’ ‘Thank you,’ said the ostler; ‘and now let me ask whether you are up to all the ways of this here place?’ ‘I have never been here before,’ said I, ‘but I have a pair of tolerably sharp eyes in my head.’ ‘That I see you have,’ said the ostler, ‘but many a body, with as sharp a pair of eyes as yourn, has lost his horse in this fair, for want of having been here before. Therefore,’ said he, ‘I’ll give you a caution or two.’ Thereupon the ostler proceeded to give me at least half a dozen cautions, only two of which I shall relate to the reader: the first, not to stop to listen to what any chance customer might have to say; and the last — the one on which he appeared to lay most stress — by no manner of means to permit a Yorkshireman to get up into the saddle. ‘For,’ said he, ‘if you do, it is three to one that he rides off with the horse. He can’t help it. Trust a cat amongst cream, but never trust a Yorkshireman on the saddle of a good horse. By-the-by,’ he continued, ‘that saddle of yours is not a particularly good one, no more is the bridle³. A shabby saddle and a bridle have more than once spoiled the sale of a good horse. I tell you what, as you seem a decent kind of a young chap, I’ll lend you a saddle and bridle of my master’s, almost bran new; he won’t object I know, as you are a friend of his, only you must not forget your promise to come down with summut handsome after you have sold the animal.’

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